nd293
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Posts posted by nd293
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It's not a term to describe myself to others, but yes, I'm 'clever', although I usually think of it as 'smart'. The kids are too. That's something I make sure they know. They have a particular 'advantage' or gift and I expect them to work hard to make the most of it. They're raised to honestly recognise their strengths and weaknesses and work to accentuate the one and ameliorate the other (and not just in intellectual abilities).
Dd15 really hasn't got that message yet, and I'm finding that difficult to deal with. She think I should act like the average parent and be happy with average results, but if her ability is above average I expect that to be reflected in her results. Unfortunately she's come late to that conversation because of homeschooling and Montessori, and it's a hard sell.
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I also agree to some extent, for the reasons that Laurie mentioned. I doubt they're talking about an 'I need help' conversation. They're talking about a lack of boundaries that makes it unhealthy for other students who are already under pressure in their own lives. Universities will have a lot of facilities provided for the emotional and physical care of students.
I've noticed that they very careful of the way they discuss suicide in the newspapers here. I was told that they don't report train line suicides at all, and that does seem to be the case. Other suicides are usually noted with a "foul play is not suspected" line and such articles will always include a link to a suicide prevention or depression support line. There is an extent to which discussing the detail of suicide or suicidal thoughts can encourage despair in those already struggling. I imagine this is also a major concern for the university.
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I'm studying (2 subjects, about 20 hrs a week total), and have 2 kids at school. I manage to stay on top of the meal planning, tidying and cleaning, but the kids help fold laundry and unpack the dishwasher or it wouldn't get done. Dh often irons his own work shirts, he plays with the younger child after work which gives me extra space to cool and clean, and he helps out with cooking if it's not done when he gets home.
Your situation is different: not only are you working, but you're doing it in the home (if I understand correctly) which must make tidying it during the day impossible. And you're studying. And you're parenting kids at a full-on age where they can't help significantly with chores. You sound like you're doing very well!
Perhaps it's time to list all jobs, share them out more equitably and be clear on which ones will be done when?
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BBQ ribs with a spicy BBQ sauce, good crispy french fries, a coke, and a creme brûlée or two for dessert.
Can we share? If not I'm having rendang or beef stroganoff (fillet steak, sour cream, no mushrooms!), a Coke Zero and white chocolate mouse liberally dosed with brandy-or-whatever-is-in-the-liquor-cabinet.
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I would never have gotten "jeez Louise," from Jessie Louise.
I agree. Maybe if you shortened it to Jess Louise, but not if you use Jessie. It's a very pretty name!
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I put them as a junk food snack, but I would consider them a candy. I suppose you could say we 'snack' on candy, but in general candy is a treat unrelated to hunger, whereas I see a snack as a 'filler' when you're hungry between meals. I wouldn't pass one of the kids a fruit snack (really a sugar snack) if they were hungry.
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Ouch!
I mean, OUCH!
No experience with broken ankles, but some experience with kids witnessing trauma. Dd was 4 when we were travelling alone and I had a miscarriage at the airport. And she was 6 when I had a major bleed from placenta previa, we rushed to the hospital and she sat alone in a hospital room when the surgeon called dh to the operating room as her brother was born. And 8 when she had a pool edge accident that resulted in an injury that was particularly traumatic to a young girl (let your imagine run wild). She is now a remarkably calm and untraumarised teen, so I think we did some stuff right. (I've never considered the 3 events together before - that was quite a run she had.)
Lots of praise, while going over the event in detail, highlighting the points where he made great decisions or helped the situation along. I'd consider some sort of reward emphasising his maturity. Emphasise the positive outcome and the 'thank goodnesses' - thank goodness we were close to home. Thank goodness I didn't fall on my head. Thank goodness for the neighbour. Use humour - I guess it was a slow day at the fire department etc. Encourage him to tell the story to whoever he needs to - building a narrative around events makes them less scary. Not thinking about a trauma makes the anxiety around it worse, not better. It's also ok to be a little 'freaked out' by something traumatic, though, so remind him that anything he feels is ok.
I hope you're out of hospital soon, plied with plenty of pain meds and that the 8 weeks pass quickly...
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I see Jamie Oliver calls it 'dippy egg and soldiers' and I'm pretty sure we called it dippy egg as kids. And obviously we had it with soldiers! As a child I only ate the yolk, and wouldn't eat any other form of egg. Now I tend to prefer fried eggs or hard boiled eggs.
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I've seen my share of little girls with ooze coming out of their ears when I was a school nurse.
😄 That's exactly why my Mom had the "no piercings until you're old enough to manage it yourself" rule! She dealt with gross ears at work, she drew the line on dealing with them at home!
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So please explain to me why I am so nervous about letting Dd get her ears pierced. Talk me down. Give me your good ear piercing stories.
Not me: I followed my mother's rule: no piercing before you're old enough to deal with it by yourself, which my mother decided was 13.
I told dd that if her ears fell off it was her problem (although I would drive her to the doctor if she asked). I didn't touch, clean or look at the piercings once they were done. And she did all the research on the best method, and place with the best reviews.
As for stories, dd had no real problems. They did seem to take longer to heal and seem to cause more problems (getting red or painful) with whatever the current approach to care is. I lost patience eventually and got her surgical spirits as we used when kids: no more issues. (Also she had to stick to silver or gold or stainless steel or she had issue.)
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I'm talking about one specific case, here, someone I worked with, but it made a big impression at the time. She was a lovely older lady, very religious, with a happy family, a really wonderful person. At one stage she was hospitalised with depression. The thing is, she was always 'over the top' joyful. It was sort of exhausting to be around. Looking back, maybe these were bipolar symptoms? But I also thought at the time that perhaps she had a lot of guilt about NOT being happy, and that she was covering, and that this made things worse. She could never just come in and moan to us about how the bus was late and the strap on her shoe broke and she was just having a foul day. And I did feel that came from her religious perspective. I'm not sure it from the church officially, but a difficulty reconciling her view of how she should be responding to all she had been given by God with how she actually felt? Adding another layer, we lived somewhere where you always had to deal with knowing you were so much better off that 90% of the population, so I think depression could easily feel like a bit of a first world problem anyway.
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After reading Pawz4me - very similar experiences. And dd15 who famously abandoned napping before she turned 2yrs also naps after school a couple of times a week now.
We temporarily suspended outside school activities like music classes for the first 6 months, which in retrospect was a very wise decision.
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I just wanted to chime in to say, yes, there is an adjustment period, so you're wise to set a year commitment (short of catastrophe). Dd went from homeschool to Montessori, which was barely an issue, then moved to a traditional school which was where the adjustment occurred. She was very happy socially from Day 1, but you're spot on - waking times and evaluation style were issues, also deadlines and subjects she had simply had no previous exposure to (like Politics and Law. Or Phys Ed - she lost 5kg in the first semester 😄😄).
On top of that the sudden increase in freedom / disconnect between me and her life took a bit of navigating. It's healthy, but hard!
For your other issues - we're about to move so that I don't have to do 2hrs of driving kids to and from school daily, so I understand that issue well. I'd actually visit each school in the area close to your work. Scores and reputation are not everything. You might see something in a particular school that isn't reflected in that sort of thing. Also scores and reputations lag behind changes in management etc. And if your dd qualifies for any special programme (like academic enrichment) that may mitigate some of the other issues.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
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The big ones can't live in your house, it's not their native environment. It's the little ones that can cause an infestation.
And if they were breeding in your house you'd be finding baby ones, not starting with 4 big ones.
When we had lots it was because we had chickens. We mostly kept them outside because I'm obsessive about screens on doors and windows and we also block gaps under doors.
But, yes, definitely ICK!
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Your solution sounds much more sensible than canning your own!
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A fit of insomnia had me revisit this thread, and I'm finding 'survivalist / prepper' type websites with info on canning your own butter. (Not necessarily from your own cow, just store bought butter.) If canning is something you know how to do...
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I would also opt to cover the area with wet cloths, probably wet soapy cloths.
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I can't really respond to the poll given that it doesn't include the word 'anaphylactic' - it has nothing to do with nuts, it has to do with the severity and urgency of the type of allergic reaction caused by nuts. It's also my understanding that nuts, by their nature are more likely to contaminate the air, as it were, compared to say, seafood.
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I understand why you are uncomfortable, but I would view it more as her showing you that she was involved and was doing her part to make sure the situation was safe for your daughter. I'd also assume her son was disappointed and asked his Mom to chat to you.
Dd15 recently went on a date I was initially uncomfortable with (week night, large venue, in the city) and his mother did contact me to confirm all the arrangements. While that was after I had ok'ed the outing, it was good to know she was involved and taking full responsibility for the kids' wellbeing.
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We were in the same situation. The only homeschooler of dd's age that she saw outside of groups was not a friendship I wanted to encourage.
She first went to a small Montessori school, and there her academics did suffer, although she was happy socially.
In February we moved her to a Christian community school (we're not religious). This has been a much better fit academically and she has thrived socially.
Two things:
It was incredibly draining to not trust the first school to take care of academics. I had to supplement pretty much all 'skills' - time management, writing, research - and push her to work at her best level because they really didn't care.
Second, dd is bright enough to qualify for academic programmes, and I was able to push them to look past her lack of grades (no testing in Montessori) and consider her for the accelerated class in 4 subjects. This made a huge difference as it mostly excludes the more disruptive kids. (Of course there are good kids working at all levels, but as these classes are selective the disruptive kids aren't really found there.)
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Do print this out and keep it for each of your children.
I have a copy of the eulogy given for my great-grandfather (who died long before I was born) by my his son, my mother's uncle, and it is moving and inspiring to read. It reminds me that how we live and how we are remembered matter. Memory is powerful.
You must be very proud of your husband.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
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Only iron and magnesium due to tested deficiency.
We take an elderberry supplement when illness strikes. I'm very much a sceptic about herbal
supplements in general but it seems to be effective. Also it tastes good :-)
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I'd feel the way you do. Extra families would be too much for me. I like the idea of suggesting an alternate get together less often.
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I was also thinking of ghee, but then I'd just take oil, as ghee definitely doesn't taste like butter.
And Venezuela... :-( Hope the people he's seeing are managing ok.
PSA: After the week I've had
in The Chat Board
Posted
I have a particular Friday routine now:
As we drive home from school I list a range of tasks to be completed before electronics may be touched.
They do those while I cook a ready-in advance, self-serve dinner.
The house looks neat and organised when dh walks in.
I pick up my plate of dinner and my "special" Coke Zero and walk towards the bedroom. I announce "I'm off duty". I do not reappear until Saturday morning. If my "special" Coke needs a refill I emerge briefly chanting "I'm off duty. Ask Dad". I make sure not to make eye contact with anyone.
Hope you get a chance to relax!