sbgrace
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Posts posted by sbgrace
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I identify with so much that you wrote. I'm 50 in March and also struggling with regrets and balance with parenting older teens (including one w/ disability). The regrets about the past part is so counter-productive. A year or two ago, CBT helped me learn to file those thoughts into the "maybe true, but not helpful to remuniate" category. I'm finding myself kind of moving back in that space, and I plan to start therapy again. If you're stuck there, CBT can really help in my experience.
Some of how I age is really beyond my control at this point (regrets...), but it helps to do what I can to age in a healthy way. I've worked to find ways to keep fit that accommodate my issues, for example.
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I had issues maintaining pregnancy due to PCOS progesterone problems. My boys (clomid) were a progesterone supported pregnancy.
I had a metabolic health "crash" after the birth that was unrelated to PCOS. It took quite a while to figure out what was wrong with me, so that was hard. I don't recall feeling like my hormones were off.
I did not have issues with PPD or breastfeeding.
My hormones, post pregnancy, regulated somewhat I think. While I still had short luteal phases, so very likely progesterone issues kept going, I didn't have long, annovulatory cycles that only ended with oral hormones like I often had prior to kids.
Anxiety about the unknowns during pregnancy when the stakes feel so huge is incredibly hard. I'm sorry she's feeling that right now.
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Thank you all. My expectations are definitely higher than the community college. Whether they are higher than what will be expected of him next year, I don't think nearly so much. But I need someone else to give him good feedback. I am going to check into Lantern English--thank you!
ETA: I think he will be amiable to an 8 week course. Which Lantern English should I select?
The assignments he has in community college are pretty sophisticated and solid. The grading and feedback is just not good at all...everything is great and an A. It's giving him the opposite impression I hoped for!
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Please don't quote this. I am looking for help, but feel like I failed my kid.
Once he hit high school one of my seniors became very difficult to teach writing to. I outsourced to a coop. He was praised for his writing ability and made good grades. They used EIW based curriculums almost exclusively. I have no excuse for my hands off that subject approach, except he was very hard headed when I tried to give him feedback previously. The first coop year I tried to give him feedback on assigments and it was miserable. He felt my standards were too high and the tension was harming our relationship. I continued to teach writing to his sibling but just relied on the coop for him.
In working on college essays with him early this year, I became concerned. It feels he has actually gone backward. I tried to help him and it was just full of tension and yuck. I enrolled him in a 101 comp class at the local community college this spring, hoping someone else would provide feedback and a reality check. I feel he needs to put more effort into it--he just thinks whatever he writes is "good enough," and apparently it was for his teachers. After a tutoring session today, I am not sure he's going to get great feedback. He asked me to look at his essay just prior to the appointment. In my glance, I told him I see lack of antecedents in spots and many of his paragraphs lacked topic sentences. He may have had one that even lacked a cohesive topic.
The campus tutor felt his writing was great. He said he couldn't make any suggestions--was there any concerns in particular he needed? My son asked about whether the tutor felt he had topic sentences....the response was kind of "oh, I hadn't thought of that....um...hmmm...well, in this paragraph, if you want a topic sentence maybe use this sentence in the middle of the paragraph...I'm not sure ...etc" My son walked away saying well, see mom--he liked it.
My "high" standards aside, I think there are major weaknesses that are going to possibly really hurt him in college.
So, my SOS: I want to prepare him as best I can for college writing in the little time we have left. He will not listen to my feedback. Does anyone know of a good tutor or something else to help him accurately evaluate his writing and improve weaknesses?
I feel so stressed and frustrated with him.
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I'd be proud too. I'm so glad it worked out in such a positive way.
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Praying. I'm sorry everything is so dark.
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38 minutes ago, JennyD said:
You're probably right, but first I have to find a PCP who is taking new patients and get an appointment, at which point i can get a prescription for the colonoscopy. Realistically, the choice is Cologuard now or colonoscopy in many months.
And I was feeling so pleased with myself for finally getting a mammogram last year!
This medical stuff is not my forte.
My gynecologist ordered mine. If you have some regular care giver like that, you might get a referral that way. My husband's colonoscopy was ordered by a nurse practioner. If your community has nurse practioners, they are often much easier to get into quickly.
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Double post!
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42 minutes ago, JennyD said:
I have been wondering about this, too (I'm 50). Am contemplating doing the Cologuard thing. I don't really have a PCP, but it looks like there's a telehealth option for getting the prescription.
I have known more than one person who did Cologuard and then had to follow up with a colonoscopy, at their insurance's normal non-preventative rate, after. The ColoGuard also misses things. I would (and did) just do the preventative colonoscopy.
OP, I did the drink a gallon prep. I was ok the night before, but the morning of I was pretty nauseated while drinking the 2nd half. I had to go very slowly to keep it down. My husband did a colonoscopy after me with the ducolax/miralax the night before. It was much easier going down for sure. He said "not too bad" when I asked just now.
Either way, the most annoying part is just having to spend an evening (or evening and next morning with my prep) with frequent bathrooming. Both my husband and I slept fine the night before the colonoscopy. I do agree with the advice to pre-protect before it all starts with a cream.
The procedure itself is easy..a nap.
I, and my husband, felt really glad we did the colonoscopy route. We go back in 10 years. My sister and my husband's brother are on 5 year plans due to polyp removals. Especially with your family history, it may well save your life.
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I am praying for him. (and you)
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I just put together a resume and can share what I did. I tailored my resume to the specific job I want.
1st: Generally, I'm back in school and my education is relevant to the postion, so my first section is "Educational Qualifications." While I included my degrees that aren't directly relevant to the postion, the first part of this section is the current course work and certifications that are relevant.
2nd: I have a volunteer and unpaid experience section. This includes the skills section.
At the beginning of that section I state: Skills utilized within these experiences include: followed by a 2 column bullet list of 10 skills that I used/developed during my homeschool years. I selected qualities I have that specifically apply to the position I hope to be hired for next year.
Following that list I have my volunteer activities--date, position, brief description of what I do. At the bottom of that section I have put the care for children part, and the description mentions providing schooling.
3rd: I put professional experience with my old pre-kids teacher postions. In that section I did bullet both what I did that does apply indirectly and skills developed that apply. It is really short, though, because these positions were so long ago and not field I plan to enter.
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This is a follow up of a post I made earlier.
I saw my primary care physician today. My TSH was 4.79 with a normal T4 total. My sister has Hashimoto's.
My doctor said my thyroid doesn't seem enlarged and, given my normal T4, he thinks we should just wait and see what happens with my TSH. He said a fair number of people will see TSH normalize. He would follow up next year. I am definitely not going to wait that long.
I'm not anemic, but my iron levels are low/deficient. He suggested supplements 3 days a week to raise my iron stores.
I can order labs online and follow up with an integrative medicine doctor. Just after this appointment I placed an order for Free T3, Free T4, reverse T3, the two thyroid antibodies, vitamin D, b12. I am confident in the integrative med doctor's thyroid knowledge.
Now, after looking online a bit I wonder:
--Should I wait a few months to see if TSH and the fatigue normalizes as I correct my iron, then run TSH again, along with Free T3/T4, Reverse T3 and the antibodies? I wonder because I am reading that often people are told to wait for a period to see if TSH normalizes. I am also concerned the low iron might impact the T3 and TSH numbers.
--Alternatively, should I follow up with my planned thyroid labs now? If so, is it ok that I decided to skip TSH this round, given I just had the test a couple of weeks ago? (The thyroid madness site seems to indicate TSH isn't very helpful, and it adds to the cost)
--Should I do something else? Like just check the antibodies and wait on the rest?
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Congratulations!
I started back in CC this fall. I took/am taking 2 courses each 8 weeks for 3 terms this year.
If your experience is like mine you may find that your older brain just takes longer but yet you have life experience to make connections so that what you learn sticks better. I definitely spend more time than I would have decades ago, but I think what I've learned is going to stay with me so much better than when I was younger. Everything about being a student started coming back pretty quickly. I bet the same will happen for you.
I hope you really enjoy stretching yourself!
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My son got his medical records mixed up with someone who shares his birthday, but not name, at a shared (chain/system) medical practice. One system merged the accounts and it followed that person going forward.
Based on that experience, I wonder if this person's records could have been merged with yours very recently, perhaps with a shared system or practice, that then moved to this one. Same sleep study place or same pharmacy chain or..whatever. If it just happened, you won't yet see the charges with your insurance.
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Just now, Carol in Cal. said:
Why did she say to wait? Do you really have to listen to her?
Well, I really think it's probably just that she wants the doctor to tell me what to do. She said my hemoglobin was low normal (.2 over the bottom range), so I'm not straight up anemic. I thought about continuing to take it, because it seems obvious I'm deficient. Then I thought maybe iron supplements could throw off follow up labs he might want to run, so I stopped taking it until I talk to him.
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Thank you everyone who replied. This thread has been so helpful. It changed my plan to handle this. I was really unaware of so much.
I am going to use one of the self order labs to order the thyroid (free t3, free t4, and both antibody labs for the Hashimoto's, and maybe reverse t3 and TSH depending on the lab I use). I think, in reading here, I will likely add D3 and B12 labs.
I could do ferritin, though I'm pretty sure I'm iron deficient based on the labs I just had. I wish my doctor had run ferritin, but it seems lots including thyroid stuff can throw that number off anyway. I think I need iron.
I will call and make an intergrative med appointment with my former doctor.
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9 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:
Good advice so far, and FWIW, all through peri I had to take prenatal vitamins to keep my iron levels reasonable. If I ran out, I felt like something the cat dragged in in about a week, and much more energetic within about 3 days of starting to take them again.
I really think I need to restart iron, but the doctor's nurse said to wait so I am. I hope it will make a quick difference for me. I'm really dragging right now and start school again in two weeks.
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3 hours ago, Soror said:
My TSH was below that -- I can't remember now-- but maybe 2s or 3s and my antibodies were in the 300s. I felt terrible. The thing is even if you can get the dr to run the tests you need someone that will treat you. My Mom's daughter wouldn't treat her thyroid-- even with her TSH above range for a year. She's never had antibodies run although with me having it and the amount of people in our family with thyroid disease it seems a given. I'd also make sure they run ferritin the low iron often goes hand in hand with the low thyroid and you'll need to treat both.I see an integrative medicine dr. I wish I could see someone locally but I don't know anyone I could trust so I stick with them.
I looked at the thyroid madness page. I think I'm going to use one the "self order" labs, and make an appointment with the integrative med doctor from my previous community. I'll have to travel to see him, but I am nearly certain he does a lot of it and knows what he's doing.
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11 hours ago, Acadie said:
How high was your ferritin? Dd has gotten an unbelievably wide range of recommended values from different labs, practitioners and experts in female endurance athletics. I think many women especially feel better with ferritin higher than some of the recommended ranges.
My ferritin was 124 one and 1/2 years ago. I was told to stop iron supplements at that point. Though I'm looking now and my other iron numbers were in middle range at that time. I think I'm probably just deficient. But my doctor's nurse told me to wait until I talk to him to begin iron again.
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I'm sorry. I can imagine the stress and upset.
We've had a couple rounds of anxiety interfering with sleep. When my son was very young we had a horrible round that was OCD related. I do not remember now how it resolved. It do remember how horrible it was. I feel for you.
Later, closer to your son's age, my son had insomnia from an ADHD medication. He then got anxious about falling asleep and, even though we stopped the medication when we became aware of the issue, it turned into chronic insomnia. We worked with pediatric sleep medicine and, in his case, I think the extra attention added to it just ramped up the anxiety about sleep more.
What broke him out of that particular cycle was hydroxyzine at night for a while (with his melatonin, which he still takes, and a regular wake time no matter when he fell asleep).
He takes an SSRI now. We likely should have started sooner--I was just so nervous about it. I would definitely consider that at your son's age knowing how much suffering anxiety brought my son.
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45 minutes ago, melbotoast said:
I would seek treatment with that TSH number. It's helpful if you can find someone who will do a complete thyroid panel. TSH, FT3 FT4 RT3 and both antibodies
I am tempted to call an intergrative medicine doctor from where I used to live tomorrow. He's pricey and probably booked out, but I am confident he would run those tests. Maybe I should see what my regular doctor orders on his own first. I've found it's awkward to have two doctors on one situation.
I'm glad I posted here.
I was inclined to just take iron and wait and see if the tsh corrected itself unless my primary doctor suggested more.
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4 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:
My cholesterol went up before I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism/Hashi's. It came back down after I was properly medicated. With a family history I'd want to get that checked.
What would I ask my doctor to do to check that?
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So I've been struggling with some frustrating health stuff for a while now, including fatigue. After some testing, I chalked it all up to peri-menopause around a year ago.
Do you think any of the following might explain the fatigue? How should I proceed? I have a well check to go over these labs next week.
I looked at bloodwork results from some "well check" labs my doctor ordered last night.
Iron-- hemoglobin normal by a bit; low iron saturation; high UIBC and TIBC. No ferritin lab. I think it might indicate iron depletion without anemia (makes sense as I have heavy, frequent cycles, and I stopped iron supplements about 1.5 years ago when my ferittin got high).
TSH--4.79. Normal T4. No other thyroid labs. I think this would be subclincal? I'm reading it could correct itself. My sister has Hashimoto's, if it matters.
Cholestorol--115 LDL, all other numbers in range but also significantly worse than I've ever had.
I can't tell how those three might be connected (low iron can raise TSH and/or high TSH could impact iron levels; TSH could affect cholesterol?).
I'm dealing with another health situation of yet undetermined resolution; it's discouraging.
I'm feeling old.
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My best friend had an implosion like this.
She ended up working in a position she is (well, was before her gap in education) over-qualified for. It doesn't pay terrific, but it gets her insurance and new friend and professional connections. The hope is it will eventually lead to work in her field as well.
In your case I would seriously consider relocating this summer if the rent in the area is at all reasonable. I know it is going to be hard to transition with the family member. It is understandable that you would need to work now, though, given the drastic circumstances change.
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Resource suggestions for parents of children with anxiety?
in The Chat Board
Posted · Edited by sbgrace
I really do like these books as a parent. She's too young to do it herself without parent, but it makes CBT (by far the best therapy for anxiety) easy to understand and implement. Everything I'm mentioning is geared toward kids I guess, but I found it most helpful to know how to help him develop skills to manage. (I do have the Freeing Your Child for Anxiety book as well, but I personally found these resources more helpful)
My son finally learned to use breathing to calm himself (we used Mightier...but I hesitate to recommend, because it's pricey, it took a long time to work for us, and we used it years ago when it was kind of beta version).
He learned to use mindfulness practices with this video....which is way large, but i don't know how to fix it. He's much older, but he still uses the progressive muscle relaxation technique (not this video of course) a lot (I think...last I knew anyway!)
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I don't regret any of those things, but ultimately my son (OCD) needed medication. His medication isn't entirely effective, and he needs to use all those skills (the upside of the fact that he didn't get complete relief with medication, I guess...but I wish he had better relief).