Needing some advice about my sons please

[Guest]

I realize the subject line wasn't very descriptive. (please excuse the spelling errors.) My older two have post traumatic stress syndrome due to my ex spouse's abuse. I need some practical advice on what to do at home to help them. I have googled and searched but can't find anything. For the second son, we are considering having take anixety meds. Any experience with this? What kind of side effects/behavior changes should we look for?

 

Thank you in advance for your help.

[Laurie4b]

Your best source of advice would be a children's therapist experienced with abused children and post traumatic stress syndrome. The reactions can vary and it's not something that I would give advice about on the internet , other than general recommendations for stability, generally good parenting, and a calm emotional atmosphere at home. Each child will vary and what they need at a given time will vary. Many books written for foster parents would have generally helpful information. However, I would emphasize again that in this case, I think an experienced therapist is a must and is the one whom it would be best to look to for advice.

[Tara from Florida]

Hi, My name is Tara. Since I don;t know you and you don;t know me let me do a quick little intor before I tell you about something we have just started with my daughter.

 

I have a DD who had some elements of giftedness and some significant learning struggles. She also has sensory processing dysfunction. Even though we have remediated much of her cognitive learning problems and are working with OT on her SPD issues I have still notices that at time she freezes up and becuames almost paralysed

[Tara from Florida]

Here's the complete and corrected post. Hope it helps

 

Hi, My name is Tara. Since I don’t know you and your background, and you don’t know me let me do a quick little intro before I tell you about something we have just started with my daughter.

 

I have a DD who has some elements of giftedness and had some significant learning struggles. She also has sensory processing dysfunction. Even though we have remediated her cognitive learning problems (with PACE) and are working with OT on her SPD issues, I have still noticed that at time she freezes up and becomes almost paralyzed by fear, primarily when doing academic work.

 

Our church has embraced a ministry called Theophostic Prayer Ministry (Theophostic coming from the Greek meaning light of God). I am currently in training for this (it takes well over 9 months of weekly training followed by a practicum).

 

Imagine for a moment that you see a bee for the first time (when you are young) and get stung by it. Your brain imprints that information for later retrieval. The next time you see a bee you immediately know how to respond. You don’t have to ‘think’ about it. This is the way God made us so that we would know when there is danger we wouldn’t stop because we would need to analyze the situation.

 

Unfortunately, sometimes (especially when we are young or in a vulnerable or traumatic situation) we can make some false assumptions about a situation. These false beliefs (lie based thinking) carry with us in much the same, way and impact how we respond and react in the future. Take for example the child in a family where the parents divorce. They may incorrectly believe that the parents divorce way their fault and that if only that had done or hadn’t done such and such the parents would still be married. This would be a false believe that could impact the way they respond to future situations and could also cause them continued sadness or feelings of guilt, etc (that are unjustified).

 

So, the basis of this prayer ministry is that when we are going through life we interpret events as we are exposed to situations. Traumatic events are traumatic at the time, but years later we often still “feel†traumatized even though our current setting is safe, because we bring forward these feelings to the present.

 

Telling someone that they are now safe or that the event is no longer happening can be understood on an intellectual level, but they can still feel the false belief. Basically they know one thing, but feel another. Unfortunately, we respond to what we believe not what we know. And, we can’t talk anyone into the truth if their “experience†tells them something differently. We can’t go back to the time were the lie was initially adopted, but the Lord can. So in this ministry the prayer facilitator merely assists in intercessory prayer offering the person the choice of turning their fear over to the Lord or asking Him to show, tell or let the person feel the truth from Him in that situation.

 

I am afraid that I am not giving a really good explanation so I would encourage you to visit the web site for TPM. It is www.theophostic.com.

 

As I said we just started my daughter with this and we have, after one session, seen some fantastic long lasting results, because the Lord provides mind renewal and healing rather than tolerable recovery. My DD believed a number of things that weren’t the truth and the things she said the Lord told her were Biblically sound and contrary to the average thinking process she previously espoused. She has had stress free school days, has opened up in other settings and has been smiling a whole lot more. There is still word to be done but we are making wonderful progress.

 

If you check out the site, there are live video demonstrations of people receiving this ministry. If you find this may be something you think your boys could benefit from, you can check through the site and find were to get a local referral source.

 

I wish you and them the very best.