Deborah, a question about your spiritual goals you posted on the old board

[Baseballmom]

I was really inspired by your spiritual goals for boys post. I was wondering how you go about reaching each of those goals. How do you break it down into attainable goals? What books or ideas do you use to implement these things. Thank you again,

[Deborah]

Hi~

Thank you for your kind words. :)

I'll re-post the original & highlight the main goals in red. I listed some examples of how we are chipping away at daily/weekly/monthly things that we feel will bring us to the main goals. I'll expand some in blue italics and if I'm not real clear let me know. (I can tend to lose my train of thought too quickly around here!...) HTH

In His Mercies We Rest,

~deborah

Well Amy, your heart sooo shows your love for your children & God with your desire to help them grow spiritually! I commend you seeking the best for your children! It is hard to figure how to get them to actually do all this, huh? I struggle with the same things. I guess I often forget to individually and specifically pray for each of my children. I many times take for granted that we homeschool and it's easy to just think since they are protected that they'll be saved. That they'll just catch salvation somehow.

So the number one goal for my children:

That my Merciful Saviour would draw them to Himself and make them truly His own. (this means I have to remember to pray faithfully for each of them, individually..I fail at that this so much ) We always hear that "God has no Grandchildren" and I, to often, forget that. Homeschool kids aren't saved just because Mom and Dad are, or because they may be more protected or because they know the "right answers" or because they know how to behave well at church or get compliments in a restaurant. They are not saved because they don't watch certain shows or know certain music or abstain from certain foods. Many religions around the world can produce the same. We have to remember that the Father draws them and that it is ONLY Jesus Christ's work and not ours that will keep them from the wrath of God. We need to let them see the reason they need a Saviour. When children are talked to like they already know everything about God, I fear it creates a false self assurance that will crumble when the winds blow. It scares me terribly to see homeschool kids that know how to "check the box" Christ came to make the dead; alive not the bad; good. I don't just want "good" kids. I want alive kids. :) We encourage them to "examine themselves to see if they are in the faith" (this would mean going through questions (maybe a chart like ones from Instruction in Righteousness) to see if they are seeing fruit in their own lives.)

2nd goal: To prepare them to be Godly Men. Searching the Word to find what is required of a Godly man and teaching those things to them right now is a daily job. Some of our "heroes" are John MacArthur, R.C. Sproul, Ravi Zacharias, John Piper & Francis Chan. We listen to them often with our boys and point out things about their character that lines up with the word. ( this would be anytime they listen or hear one of these guys..we just ask them.."how are they being bold?" "Do you see why grammar (history etc) is important for him to have known the proper context of that verse?" "See how logic is so important in apologetics?" ect) How they defend the faith takes boldness. How they are knowledgeable takes much study in the word, grammar, history, science & logic. How they persevere through the mocking of a relative & tolerant world takes faithfulness and humility. To say unabashedly that Jesus is the ONLY way takes courage and strength in this culture.

Third goal: For them to be Godly Husbands. Teaching boys tenderness and how to prepare a meal for their wife (yes, we teach our boys to cook :eek:)when she's sick or after she's had a baby is an asset to being her protector. We teach them to pray for their wives now. To put away their earned money (anytime they get money the first part is tithed, they may hold back a little but the rest goes to the bank )into a bank account, to buy their wife her ring and hopefully save enough for a down payment on a house. (they also pray for their future children, that they would be the father that they need to be for the children that God should bring them if He wills)

Fourth Goal: We want them to excel in academics. (We try to choose curricula that will help us; help them. Ones that we feel will help train them in Godly Character, Christian Worldview and Logical & Analytical thinking. Ones that our doable for a lg. family, that allow them to take responsibility for their own work..to be independent and set goals for the week; they each have a planner and plan out their own school week..even Kindergarten. There are consequences that follow laziness, lying, cheating & prograstenating) We don't want them to be lazy and not being able to provide for our grandchildren. We want them to make enough money to provide a home for their family in a safe place and to make enough that it would not tempt our daughter-in-laws to work. To make enough that they would be able to chose the curriculum they feel is best to bring up their children in a Godly way. (this is pointed out to them in some good old fashioned reading..something as simple as the McGuffey readers..the real eye-openers are unfortunately the real life cases we come across.)

Fifth Goal: To teach them discernment. I don't want to protect them from everything, but for them to be able to recognize evil and have the self-control to turn their own head, walk on, (for instance, I don't keep them from the mall, I see if they turn their heads another direction when we walk by certain stores) say no and have compassion for the lost and not be critical towards them. To realize the lost are caught up in the lies of this world and that they need to try and rescue them not join them. To understand the road is narrow and to recognize truth. Truth is not relative. Man does not seek after God but He seeks us. To not be deceived when churches water things down by bringing these kinds of things in and change doctrine because they are embarrassed that God has required certain things of man. (again, we don't hide this, we let them listen to a questionable sermon and see if they can point out "new age" influences or "feminism" and things that "tickle men's ears" We ask them if this is expository preaching or does it seem the preacher has his own opinion") They can only know this for themselves as the pour over the scriptures for themselves and the Holy Spirit will take care of the rest. They must learn to be humble about their mistakes, forgiving towards other's mistakes and cut off anything that stands between them and their gracious Lord. One of the greatest things we can do is allow them time away from their academics to be alone with God. Just them and their Bibles. Then to ask them or talk to them about what they are learning. (They have their own quiet time daily w/ a good study bible John MacArthur or the Reformation Bible. (Bible Stories to Color & Right Choices for the Preschool-K's) They also are taught how to use study tools at a young age. We then talk to them about what they are learning and especially talk about the things that they may not like in scripture. And that leads to the question "Why, wouldn't you like that? Either God is wrong or you are wrong kind of stuff"..lots of talking. Lot's and Lot's from Bible to History to Literature.

Amy, I will pray for you that the Holy Spirit would bring specific things to you and your husband in raising your kids.

Remember that these are harder years as they are still children. If they are saved, they are immature still and it will be years till we may see fruit. Show them how God is faithful, show them how to pray, show them how to worship and teach them why He is worthy to receive our praise. Teach about and to pray for persecuted Christians around the world. I find this deflates a lot of self-centeredness in my guys. Teach them to pray for their future spouses to pray for their sibling/s and for peoples needs around you. This is so important because God does hear the prayers of His people and LOVES to answer prayers that line up with His will! This builds so much faith in children because they can start looking back and seeing all the times God hears them! And teach them to serve. To put everyone else's needs above their own. When they pour drinks for their siblings at a meal teach them to pour their own last. To let others go first. To draw pictures or write a note to a shut in at church or to save money to go buy surprise groceries for a family friend. I believe that once they start learning things in the Word we need to provide places and ways for them to apply so they can see for themselves the blessing it brings :) One thing we always say to our's.."You, Be the only Noah!" They are still to obey when know one else does. I don't want them to obey us first but to obey God first. In loving God they will obey Him and in this they will honor their father and mother.

May He Bless you and your family richly as you walk the narrow way!

In Christ's Love We Stand!

~deborah

[Baseballmom]

Thank you Deborah,

That was exactly what I was looking for. The Lord has used you to bless me in such an amazing way! I pray that you too will be blessed through your obedience.

[Bokons]

Deborah,

 

I saved your post from the old board, but I'm going to save this one as well. I have 4 dss myself, and your post is going to be so helpful.

 

God bless you and your family!

 

Colleen