wagnfun Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Background that has me worried. My brother (32yrs old), neice (12yrs old) and other family members are notorious for exaggerating situations, omitting their behavior when it doesn't glorify their need and downright lying for entertainment purposes. I often catch my dh laughing out loud or trying to hide a smile at the stories going on. We all know it and tell the story tellers they are full of it and to stop. I'm not even sure they know they are doing it, its almost as if lying is their personality. Heres the problem.. I"m starting to notice it in my 5 yr old. She is my 4th child so i know some kids at this age are learning the truth vs a lie & learning to tell stories. My 5 yr old is ahead of her time in vocab & comprehension. She knows very well what a lie vs truth is and understands the difference b/t telling a truthful funny story & an exaggerated one. We've explained being honest, truthful and trustworthy. My other kids would get in more trouble for lying then for an action they would lie about b/c I wanted them to know how important truthtelling is. This child is different.. PLEASE give me advice on how to stop/proceed/deal with this child. Here are a few examples: ***says she washed her hands but clearly didn't, when i tell her I know shes not being truthful, she says it is b/c she is really hungry and doesn't want to take the time to wash her hands *** told neighbor kids she was taking karate and proceeded to teach them moves for over 30 minutes. Note-she is NOT taking karate! *** told me her sister while driving, pulled over and told her she wasn't allowed to talk. Yes oldest was driving youngest but none of the above happened. *** will outright make up stories about something that happed that she saw or did. ***blames other people saying they are really mean & lie to her. Shes not just doing it to get out of trouble or exaggerate; in some cases, shes REALLY making up wierd things. She is the youngest in our family & youngest of all the kids on the block. This is different...... help!:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennefer@SSA Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 No big solution but I did want to share 2 videos with you if you have a if you don't mind a Christian world-view. There is a sweet series of videos in the Hermie and Wormie collection and one deals directly with lying, Flo the Lying Fly. The character in that video sounds a lot like how you describe some of your daughter's lying. Also there is always Veggie Tales...Larry Boy and the Fib from Outer Space is really great too. I don't mean to be trite by suggesting silly kids' videos for a big problem. I just know that sometimes watching something where someone else is delivering the truth and then I can follow up with a meaningful discussion is more helpful that me trying to do it all alone! Somehow if someone else says it first...:D Good luck to you in this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelda Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 This is the exact age when kids discover real lying. Its so upsetting, especially if its a hot button issue for you already, but this is developmentally normal. Not to say it doesn't need to be addressed but its probably not necessarily a character trait just yet. Good luck...its one of my least favorite phases. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in Orlando Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Background that has me worried. My 5 yr old is ahead of her time in vocab & comprehension. She knows very well what a lie vs truth is and understands the difference b/t telling a truthful funny story & an exaggerated one. We've explained being honest, truthful and trustworthy. This child is different.. PLEASE give me advice on how to stop/proceed/deal with this child. Here are a few examples: ***says she washed her hands but clearly didn't, when i tell her I know shes not being truthful, she says it is b/c she is really hungry and doesn't want to take the time to wash her hands *** told neighbor kids she was taking karate and proceeded to teach them moves for over 30 minutes. Note-she is NOT taking karate! *** told me her sister while driving, pulled over and told her she wasn't allowed to talk. Yes oldest was driving youngest but none of the above happened. *** will outright make up stories about something that happed that she saw or did. ***blames other people saying they are really mean & lie to her. Shes not just doing it to get out of trouble or exaggerate; in some cases, shes REALLY making up wierd things. She is the youngest in our family & youngest of all the kids on the block. This is different...... help!:confused: Oh my, you're raising ME! Seriously. I did all of the stuff your daughter did (and WORSE) as a kid. I wasn't malicioius or mean and I KNEW what I was doing. My parents kept their sense of humor and guided me through my school years. I learned as I got older when it was ok to embellish (or flat-out make stuff up) and when it wasn't. It really wasn't an issue for me through school. Be patient, keep your sense of humor, encourage her creativity through other channels - my parents encouraged me to write, draw, write some more. It helped. Your daughter sounds absolutely delightful. She's clearly a leader in addition to being smart. I don't think she should be punished for either trait. Keep talking to her, encourage the truth. Channel her talents as she gets older. Odds are, she'll end up being a wonderfully, funny, productive leader in society. Work with what she's giving you without making it punitive (obviously, unless she's doing something very wrong or hurtful). I am so much like your daughter and I was lucky to have parents with some patiences and a LOT of humor. You can read my blog - go through some of the archived posts - you'll get an idea of what your daughter "might" be like in 30+ years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn E Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 This is the exact age when kids discover real lying. Its so upsetting, especially if its a hot button issue for you already, but this is developmentally normal. Not to say it doesn't need to be addressed but its probably not necessarily a character trait just yet. Good luck...its one of my least favorite phases. When I was a kindergarten teacher whenever a child shared a particularly exciting story--i.e. "My dad was eating an apple, and he started choking...."--there would inevitably be another child that would raise his/her hand to tell obviously the same story. It boggled my mind that they would do so, but confirmed as Zelda says that this is the age for this phase. I would read the books, discuss the issue, but not make too big a deal of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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