I want to HS, but...

[blue daisy]

Hi, I'm new, although I have been reading the board for a while. I've always wanted to homeschool my kids, but for various reasons, didn't feel like it was the right choice yet. My oldest son is in second grade in a public school and it's going fine. He has Asperger's and ADHD, but is also gifted, especially in the area of math. My middle son is in an early childhood special ed class for anxiety and emotional difficulties. He is 5 and will go to an all day K next year. I have a very busy toddler at home too. Honestly, I feel like I'm ready to begin our homeschool journey now, at least with my older son, but my husband doesn't think it's the right choice. Both boys get special services in school and I do feel like they help. So we are hesitating to bring them home because I don't know that I can offer the same kind of support for their special needs. My middle son, in particular, is very challenging, and the school he's at is really helping him work through his emotions and behavior. On the other hand, I feel like I can do other things better than the schools can (tailor curriculum to learning needs and interests, keeping them challenged), and there are so many aspects of homeschooling that have nothing to do with the academics that I love - keeping our own schedule, learning as a family, spending our days together, etc.

 

So, if you were in my situation, what would you do? Basically, I'm ready to make the leap, but my husband feels that they're fine, if not better off, where they are, mainly because of the services they receive there.. (I may post this in the general board too, but wanted to get opinions here first.)

 

Thank you so much for reading.

[Clarkd]

Try it out over the summer to see how it goes.

[blue daisy]

Thanks. We'll definitely be doing some learning over the summer, mainly to keep them busy! But I'm going to look over my plans and see how I can make it more like what I envision for our homeschool to get a feel for it.

[herekittykitty]

Does your state offer dual enrollment? Here you can dual enroll and do everything at home, but still get Special Ed services.

[dkpalaska]

Hugs! It can be very frustrating when you and your husband are not on the same page.

 

Some (ahem, rather voluble) thoughts, for what they are worth:

 

Does your state offer dual enrollment? Here you can dual enroll and do everything at home, but still get Special Ed services.

 

Yes, this. My younger son is 100% homeschooled, but currently has dual enrollment and gets excellent speech therapy services at the local elementary school. (My oldest qualifies for private therapy, and so far we've been too happy with that to look into public school services.) I understand that the public schools (at least where we are, in Alaska) are required to provide services to homeschooled kids, as well as partial enrollment. They tend to be very open and friendly about it here. Our local school district even offers two varieties of homeschooling "charter schools". It's definitely worth approaching your local school about and feeling out the various possibilities.

 

A benefit of the above is that it offers a good compromise: meeting your husband's concerns, while providing at least part of the day investing in the benefits of homeschooling. The reasons you listed for wanting to try HS are very, very valid, and extremely important in their own right.

 

You could also try only HS or part-HS your oldest at first, as it sounds like the full-immersion benefits of therapy at school are most deeply benefiting your second ds. You probably already know to be prepared for a "deschooling" period of time. If school has been mostly positive to date, it may not really manifest itself that strongly for your kids, but it WILL be a big adjustment regardless. I suggest that you and your husband agree on some reasonable time period (not sure how much, but at least three months? seek better advice for this!) where he will not downplay or criticize the HS effort. Adjustments are tough for many kids, but particularly for any kid with special needs. You will also need a little experimental time - sometimes you have your kids pegged for learning style, etc., but often they will come up with surprising strengths (and weaknesses!) when they are separated from the known structure of traditional school.

 

I would also say that it is easier to try out HS the younger your children are. Elementary grades do SO MUCH repetition that even if you call your HS year a "failure" (which I don't see how any HS year could ever be a failure - just different than you originally envisioned!), it won't make much, if any, difference to their academic achievement. In my experience, special needs kids are the hardest for public schools to both accommodate, and challenge to meet their full potential. It's really only logical: think of the wide variety of needs, skills, and challenges that every SN kid brings into the classroom! Particularly when they are challenged by sensory and social skill issues that put them behind their classmates, but are also gifted in areas that put them far ahead. How can a school with many such kids to accommodate manage to meet all their needs well? In my experience, not as well as you can. In fact, over the years I have come to understand that while HS has been good and positive for all my kids, it's my two SN boys for whom I am really doing it. My daughter could do well anywhere, but the boys are getting the most benefit from an education tailored to their needs.

 

I wish you the best of luck for you and your husband. It might help to remind him (and yourself) that NO schooling is ever perfect. I am hoping you can mesh the best of both worlds.

 

For the record, in case it means anything to your hubby, I have a mechanical engineering degree and worked as a petroleum engineer for 10 years, before quitting to stay at home when our first child was born. My husband has been a public school teacher for 20 years, in middle school and high school, in science and history, for both "regular" and gifted programs, and he 100% supports our homeschooling our three kids. Not that anyone's internet opinion should carry much weight, but, you know. ;-)

[blue daisy]

Thank you so much, dkpalaska, for sharing those thoughts. You've given me many things to think about and you have helped to more clearly articulate some of my own thoughts. For the record, I'm a former public school teacher, and taught at the school that my son now attends. I know the staff, the routines, and the culture of that school. It is probably the best public school experience he could have, and yet, I'd rather have him at home. :)

 

I learned that our state does offer dual enrollment (or shared time as they call it here). I'll be contacting the district to see what that looks like. Both of my boys have an IEP, so I'm hoping that makes a case for receiving services.

 

I think, for my husband, he is just not that familiar with the idea of homeschooling in general. He doesn't know anyone who does it and he doesn't read and research it the way I do. Meeting their special needs is his main concern, and a valid one, but I think it's partly that the whole idea is rather foreign to him. I'm trying to make sure we can address all concerns and I want to have him fully on board before we make the switch. I appreciate the input that homeschooling can be even more beneficial for SN (or 2E) kids than a typical student.