WWS CC please. Week 5 Day 1

[runbikeswim]

Week 5, Day 1. DS just turned 13, 7th grade. First yr HSing, and I am a novice at grading writing. Input appreciated!

 

In 356 BC, one of the bravest men in history was born to Phillip II, King of Macedonia and Olympia, his wife. Alexander began showing his courage at age 10, when Phillip II set out to buy a horse. Bucephalus, an unmanageable horse, caught Alexander's eye. Alexander promised his father he would buy it if he couldn't ride it, but his father had to buy it if he could ride it. Shortly after examining the horse, Alexander decided Bucephalus was afraid of his own shadow so, without fear, he hoisted himself up, turned the horse around , and rode Bucephalus into the sun. From 13 years old to 16, Alexander was taught by Aristotle, the greatest philosopher of the time. Aristotle created Alexander's main thirst for history, medicine, philosophy and much more. Years later, in 339 BC, fearless Alexander set off with his father to claim victory in the Battle of Chaerona. After some time, Phillip II was assassinated by Paulanias, his own bodyguard. This tragedy had minor effects on Alexander's thirst of the throne. At 20 years old he climbed to the throne and had all threats of his reign executed. Immediately, Greek cities began to rebel because of what they thought of Alexander. He quickly conquered the cities back. Even though Alexander was young, nothing stopped him from persisting on and conquering a vast amount of land.

 

 

Do you think he is much below grade level? Do you think WWS will give the structure and practice he needs for improvement?

 

Thank you.

 

I has posted this in the WWS thread earlier not knowing it was just for sharing.

Edited October 30, 2012 by runbikeswim

[runbikeswim]

anyone?

[Catherine]

I think there are several places he could focus his efforts. First of all is simply rewording a few of the sentences to make them more clear: the fourth sentence is not completely clear; as it is written, it sounds like 10 yo Alexander is going to buy the horse himself? I don't think that is what he means.

 

In sentence 7, "Aristotle created his main thirst..." the wording here might be better. What he means is that Aristotle inspired his interest? And ending that sentence "and much more" could be better worded-perhaps simply leave off that phrase as it adds little to the meaning.

 

There is more, but I think you get the idea. I think your son's first efforts are good and need some fine-tuning. Can he handle guidance\criticism OK?

[Homeschooling Again]

I think he's done a fine job. I don't know that WWS requires your son to fine tune at this point. I would continue going through the book with him at the pace that's proper to him. At some point I imagine the book will have us helping our kids improve their style. At this point I think the point is to simply write from the outline according to the rules laid out.

 

I recently found out about another book called Sentence Composing. If you think it's necessary you can buy the one for middle school.

 

Again, I was impressed with what he wrote.