paragraphs by DD8

[Kuovonne]

I've been trying to teach DD8 how to write a paragraph.

 

We're taking a break from a formal writing program and to write random paragraphs. I talked her through the idea of a topic sentence and supporting sentences. I gave her extensive coaching on organizing her paragraphs. (Lack of organization is one of my pet peeves.) After she composed the paragraphs orally, I had her write them down. She made minor revisions as she transcribed the words.

 

Here are some of the results. Each selection is about an hours worth of work, split evenly between discussion and handwriting.

 

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Ballet Positions

 

There are five basic positions in ballet 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th. To get to 1st position stand with your heels together and toes pointing out. Tendu by pointing one leg and toes to the side. Lower the working heel and you're in second position. Tendu in and put your heel in the arch of your other foot and you've got 3rd position. Tendu forward and lower your heel, a perfect 4th position. Place your heel in front of your supporting foot's toes and a beautiful 5th position is formed.

 

 

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The Dolls

 

There are 5 dolls living in a corner. They are Elizabeth, Clare, Julie, Ethan, and Rose. Elizabeth was for Christmas. Clare came for Christmas too. Julie was originally an American Girl doll called Kit. Ethan was from Michael's and we stuffed him and sewed him up ourselves. Rose my Mommy bought online.

 

The dolls have lots of acessories. They sleep in a trundle bed, and sit at the table with chairs. The real looking bench they relax on and the morror, bathtub, and shelves serve them well.

[Kuovonne]

Here's another of her paragraphs. It could use some revising and she repeats some words too much. I also fixed the punctuation for her. But overall I'm pleased with this first draft. Her instructions: Write a descriptive paragraph about a butterfly pupa. (We have some in the house right now.) Create a topic sentence that is a a simile comparing the pupa to something. Then add supporting sentences.

 

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A monarch butterfly's pupa looks much like a carved piece of shiny, polished jade! One of it's beauties is its color, a pure clear jade green. Also, being a little transparent you can see the delicate pattern of the forming butterfly's wings. The gold chain that forms near the top of the smooth delicate pupa makes it sparkle as magic happens inside. When the butterfly is formed, it will open the shell of magic to give more to the world.

 

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[Mommy2BeautifulGirls]

Fantastic description of the soon-to-hatch butterfly! How much did you coach her on that one? Overall, I think she is doing great!

 

I see you are using Bravewriter. Do you like it? Have you been using it long?

[Kuovonne]

Fantastic description of the soon-to-hatch butterfly!

 

Thanks. I like it too.

 

How much did you coach her on that one? Overall, I think she is doing great!

 

Not much coaching on this specific paragraph, but lots of coaching on others. I told her to use a metaphor for her topic sentence and then add supporting sentences. She picked the jade imagry from a comment that someone else made earlier that day. She also spend a lot of time interacting with caterpillars and their pupas, which is why I picked the topic.

 

I see you are using Bravewriter. Do you like it? Have you been using it long?

 

Yes, I like the idea behind Brave Writer. I struggle with the lack of day-to-day handholding. I like programs where we just do the next thing, and Brave Writer does not give you that. So I throw in other writing and grammar programs here and there.

 

Mostly I aim the Brave Writer lifestyle and sprinkle in the occassional issue of The Arrow. We started with Brave Writer teatimes, back when DD was in kindergarten.