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DS(11) reluctant writer - WWS W6D4


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This is his first draft (including grammar/spelling errors). Writing is his weakest subject, but he would like helpful feedback to improve.

 

The Titanic was thought to be unsinkable, however that was proved wrong. The Titanic collided with a huge iceberg that ripped open the bottom of the ship. Captain John Smith didn’t notice the iceberg for a while because he was at a banquet with all of the other rich fellows. There weren’t a bunch of lifeboats because everybody believed that the titanic was unsinkable so they wouldn’t need them. Unfortunately, the rich fellows were put into the lifeboats first and much of the poor people were not notified that the ship was sinking, the poor folks did not notice because they were playing cards. Before hopping onto the lifeboats and abondaning the ship and poor, the Captain called in helicopters to try and rescue them all. Due to a horrible storm, the helicopters could not reach the ship in time and only rescued very few survivors. The Titanic and almost of all of its passengers sunk into the sea at 2:05 – 2:20 A.M. “The Titanic has sunk!†read the newspapers in huge text.

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