Making new friends when you're an introvert

[JumpyTheFrog]

I take a really long time to feel "connected" with people. Talking for a half hour once a week doesn't get me anywhere. I want to talk to a few people (at most) for a couple hours at a time - I definitely am not the type to mingle at parties! My husband is the same way. Saying hi to a lot of people at an event, even if they are all friends, doesn't really count in our minds.

 

My question is, how do we make new friends? It seems like most people are too busy to spend enough time with us for us to ever really feel like they are friends, rather than aquaintances.

 

Does anyone else have this problem?

[Alphabetika]

I am exactly like this. My solution is, I think, sort of unusual, because I'm the only one I know who uses it as an initial contact: I write a note or letter. If I meet someone I feel I could connect with, I write her a note afterwards, or a full-length letter if appropriate, and see if the relationship grows. Sometimes the response to my note is a note, or a phone call, or even an email. This invites further correspondence. People are surprised and sort of charmed by "old-fashioned" communication like this, and it breaks the ice further without requiring a face-to-face meeting, which people (including me) are often too busy to set up.

 

I only do this with women, not men, and I've had a lot of friendships grow this way.

 

HTH!