Musings on the sweet and the bittersweet...

[enviromommy]

I am so happy I FINALLY - with my fifth child - summoned the determination to speak only French to him. For the last 14 months, I have been so disciplined, speaking to my baby in French 100% of the time even though I'm speaking English with the rest of the family. I have done this even though the gratification is delayed - with a pre-verbal child, it can be so frustrating not knowing whether it is sinking in or working at all... Well, finally I am starting to be able to tell that he is understanding me. If I ask (in French) Where is your sister? Show me your nose. Do you want to take a bath? etc., he points in the right direction. He's definitely getting it. I'm so incredibly excited.

 

At the same time, I have been speaking to my child for 14 months in a language that, although I speak it very, very well, is still not my native language. A couple of weeks ago, I got a lesson in the power of one's native language. We were at the pool, and as usual, I was speaking only in French to him. All of a sudden, as I cuddled him close to me, I couldn't help suddenly whispering to him, in English, "I love you so much, my sweet baby." Unexpectedly, I almost started crying. It was so powerful expressing that emotion in my native language. I felt almost as if I had never before told my baby that I loved him, even though in reality I had told him in French thousands of times. I suddenly felt a strengthened connection to him.

 

I have no intention of abandoning my quest to make him bilingual in French. In fact, in a way this only strengthens my determination, because it was a reminder that no matter how well you speak a foreign language, if you don't grow up with it, it will never be quite the same. I started studying French at 13. I majored in French in college. I spent 6 years in France. I went to law school in Paris, took the bar exam in French and worked as a lawyer in French. I have no American accent (except maybe when I was so nervous when I met Cleo!), rarely make mistakes and am thoroughly comfortable at movies, plays, and loud parties. And yet... I am humbled realizing it's still not my native language.

 

So all of you who are raising bilingual children... you are giving them such an incredible gift! To be truly, truly bilingual is an elusive but amazingly valuable goal. It's not just words. It's like giving your child two different worlds.

[Lune]

:grouphug:

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

I can totally sympathise with what you just wrote. I'm fluent in English, when given a good total immersion for a while, (like working in the States at a client's place for 2 weeks) I become English. I think English, I dream English, I swear English. Gee, I've even made love in English :tongue_smilie:

 

But it will never ever be my native language.

[enviromommy]

I can totally sympathise with what you just wrote. I'm fluent in English, when given a good total immersion for a while, (like working in the States at a client's place for 2 weeks) I become English. I think English, I dream English, I swear English. Gee, I've even made love in English :tongue_smilie:

 

But it will never ever be my native language.

 

And I've made love in French. And you know what? It's a pretty darn good language for that. :tongue_smilie:

[Friederike in Persia]

I don't fully get what you're saying, but maybe I'm comparing apples with pears. I do speak my native language (German) with my children, but not with my dh. We've been speaking English from the first time we met, which is his native language. I don't feel like I haven't fully communicated my love for him, because I've been using English words.