11yo 6th grade Primary Source analysis; critique welcome

[Old Dominion Heather]

I typed this from his handwritten copy. All punctuation and wording is his.

 

He doesn't use a writing program but does do weekly literature summaries and analysis as well as history summaries. This would be from his extra reading in history. Normally, he would write an outline and write from that. To do this primary source analysis, he used the questions for studying a primary source and based his outline on that. He recognized that he needs to be more descriptive and give more analysis. This was a page long handwritten.

 

Title: Christopher Columbus' First Voyage to America From the log of the "Santa Maria"

 

This book is a primary source, and it contains an account of Columbus' voyage to find a path to the east by sailing west. It also contains an account of what he found.

 

The writer was Christopher Columbus. He was Portuguese, but his voyage was funded by the Spanish. He was made an admiral by Ferdinand and Isabella. His purpose of writing an account was to provide a record of what he found. Another purpose was to prove that he wasn't a liar.

 

Columbus could gain a lot by convincing others of what he found. He would gain the respect of Ferdinand and Isabella, and the Spanish would be willing to fund more voyages.

 

As a result, we have an accurate account of his voyage and conditions on board. We also know what it was like in America at that time.

Edited March 13, 2011 by Old Dominion Heather

[Old Dominion Heather]

Anyone? (We need an emoticon of crickets chirping!):lurk5:

[Kuovonne]

Normally, he would write an outline and write from that. To do this primary source analysis, he used the questions for studying a primary source and based his outline on that. He recognized that he needs to be more descriptive and give more analysis.

 

 

This bit of writing sounds like short response answers to four different questions. I could probably guess what the questions are.

 

The individal answers show a decent command of the conventions of English language. The sentences within an answer flow well together. However, the reader has to infer a lot of background information based on the title of the piece, and the answers together do not form a unified whole.

 

I would also expect additional information in a primary source analysis. When was it written? What period of time does it cover? How frequent were the log entries? What specific information did he log? How long is the entire log? Was the log published? When and by whom? Who was the primary audience? How do we know that it is accurate? (Did Columbus have reason to fake his data?) Your son doesn't have to answer all of these questions, but he should try to paint a picture of the document so that the reader can envision it and the circumstances surounding it.

Edited March 13, 2011 by Kuovonne

[Old Dominion Heather]

Thanks, Kuovonne. That certainly gives him something to work towards.