We have lived in FL twice, the first for a year or so, the second for four years. Neither my husband nor I are native Floridians, and never felt "at home" there. However, we only lived in one area (Tampa Bay Area), so take my experience with a grain of salt. Pros: -Very homeschool friendly- you send in a letter of intent and have a teacher look over a portfolio or you can enroll in an umbrella school (the latter being far easier/less oversight...we used a free one and just had to submit attendance every quarter.) -Beautiful beaches! -Lots of outdoorsy things to do- camping, kayaking, boating, hiking, etc. -You live where the rest of the country (and much of the world) vacations! Theme parks, beach towns, and so on. Lots of fun day or weekend trips. Cons- -Some areas are not very family friendly. We lived in an area where seniors were the main demographic, by far. I thought it would be like having a bunch of grandparents around (and some were), but a lot of them didn't seem to appreciate kids being around. And it wasn't just my kids....I heard the same things from friends. Lots of rude comments in grocery stores or churches, neighbors who complained about kids riding their bikes on the sidewalk. Nothing major, but it wasn't pleasant. I think it was even more magnified because we have 4 kids and homeschool. -Homeschooling isn't too common, so lots of ignorant comments. No big deal, in the grand scheme of things, but it just gets exhausting to hear, "What about socialization?!" all the time. -Schools were not great. Even in the "good" areas. -High cost of living, crappy job market, lower incomes compared to similar COL areas around the country. -During tourist and snow bird season, traffic is terrible. And frankly, it can be scary. Lots of seniors shouldn't be driving, but they do anyways. Yikes. Lol -Certain areas have very high crime rates, lots of drug use, lots of poverty, lots of gangs. We lived in a nice area, but all of that was still next door. -No seasons, it's hot and humid all year, and it rains a lot. -While having the beaches, attractions and everything else near by is nice, it isn't all it's cracked up to be. We thought we'd just head to the beach all the time, but even though it was only several miles away, it still took 30-45 minutes to get there because of traffic and congestion. And packing up for the beach is a pain, as is cleaning up when you get home. We found it was a fun "once in a while" thing, but too much of hassle to go more than once a month or so...if that. Disney is ridiculously expensive, and being that COL is high and wages are low, it wasn't feasible for us (or most people we knew) to go more than once every year or two. Okay, so that was a novel but I wish someone had said it to me before we moved out there. It could just be the area we lived in- I have family in other areas, and they seem to like it- but we were so happy to leave. And several of the families we were friends with out there have either left, or are actively trying to leave the area.

They may be innocent encounters, but I think there is a reason they stand out. Honestly, it could all be a misunderstanding (I don't think it is, but it could be.) But something about all of those events has made you uneasy and I think you need to follow your gut. The playing with the kids stands out to me- if he played for a little while, okay, but a normal adult doesn't prefer the company of children. It's a fine line, and certainly not everyone who plays with children is a pedophile, but the fact that it made you uneasy speaks volumes. And your MIL saying what a great guy he was for doing that could be a trivial comment, but it almost sounds like her justifying his close (and perhaps inappropriate) attention on your son.

There are a lot of comments on this thread already but I will add my $.02 in: Most abusers don't just up and abuse one day. They groom their victim. They show them attention and make them feel special. Often, the child will really like the abuser, which makes it much easier for the abuser to harm the child. Often times, the abuse feels good (which not many people talk about). Yes, many child think it's gross/uncomfortable/etc., it can also feel good at the same time, which is VERY confusing for a child. "How can something that kind of feels okay be wrong? How can Grandpa Joe be hurting me if I might like it?" It's very normal for children to be confused and ashamed of how they feel, which makes it hard for them to pinpoint that what happened was, in fact, a bad touch. Many child molesters will abuse right "under your nose". It's suspicious if you take a child into a back room for an hour. Cuddling with a child or wrestling with a child is seen as normal and acceptable. And if the child says something, it's easy to respond with something like, "Oh, I didn't mean to do that," or "Oh, we're just playing." Many child abusers use things like cuddling and wrestling to acclimate the child to touching. It's just one more step in the grooming process. The fact that your child jumped up and said, "That's my private part! It's not for touching," is a huge red flag to me, as is the fact that your MIL remembered that incident so clearly and never mentioned it to you at the time. Maybe if it happened shortly after reading the book, I can see your child being hypersensitive towards inappropriate touching, but in general, a child isn't going to give much thought to an accidental brush against their crotch. And regarding your MIL, any reasonable adult would have mentioned it to you at the time. Without knowing you or the full situation, my gut says that this guy has probably been grooming your child for a while. He may not have progressed past groping over clothes, but I think he was probably testing what he could get away with, and your son probably became cognizant enough with the last time to realize something weird was going on (the incident with MIL.) I also think multiple people in this guy's life have red flags going off and are choosing to ignore them. You've had a weird feeling about him for years....that's not something to shrug off. Just like animals, humans can have a "sixth sense" about danger, except humans are the only animals that will get that feeling about someone and then get into an elevator with the person, just to be polite. I would be your MIL has these feelings too, even if she can't put her finger on what exactly. There is a reason the incident stood out in her mind for years. There's a reason she doesn't want to tell him. There's a reason his son doesn't have contact. There's a reason your DH doesn't have much of a relationship with someone who thinks of as a father figure. There's a reason your DH is being weird about the whole situation. I agree with PPs about therapy for your son, the sooner, the better. And I would not worry about starting "drama"- neither. You nor your child asked to be in this position, you're just dealing with it the best way you know how. In the end, worst case scenario, an adult chose to act imprudently with a child (having somewhat inappropriate physical interaction) that was he knew was misconstrued by a child, and chose not to say anything- best case, you are preventing a pedophile from having further access from your child. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk