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calandalsmom

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Posts posted by calandalsmom

  1. I disagree with Jim.

     

    The KWO outline is the first basic step and isnt used again once you start outlining from longer and multiple sources, which it sounds like your child will soon be doing if he is already able and familiar with the outline process.

     

    The KWO is used for very short pieces. The nxt step comes in unit 4 IIRC (?)where you begin outlining longer pieces and you do not KWO those.

  2. Bc of ths thread I spent the morning toying with scanning and importing PDFs for my ds to fill out on the computer.

     

    The most pain free process is still annoying but it entails scanning, converting to PDF and importing to google docs.

     

    Its not as streamlined as buying a PDF Pen product for sure, since I have to import to google and it has to use OCR to convert.

     

    Still its painless for ds and intriguing.

  3. Just to address the info in the OP: What kind of weak kneed ninny sends her kids away from home rather than handle a really very simple situation of disagreement with a neighbor?

     

    As an adult, you can only be a victim of a 12 yr old if you allow yourself to be.

     

     

     

    As for TCS and radical unschooling... the radically unschooled kids in our group are not brats at all. They are thoughtful pleasant kids.

  4. I am using it with an 8th gr (QRR) and a 6th gr (AA1)

     

    What I like:

    for the older one this is strictly history. I did not use the lit and am doing separate "english class" or LA. I try to make it somewhat relevant- ie we're learning about Shakespeare and reading Midsummer Night's Dream.

     

    fr the younger I like the hands on stuff- the New World Explorer set we're using now has a variety of things my kids enjoy- today we'll make portuguese sweet bread, for example. My ds is 11 and can really do this on his own with his sister (6). So he is playing the teacher. Love that. Some of the books had to be switched- we have done Sign of the Beaver, but easy to switch to Birchbark House, which is new to all of us and preferred by Oyate.

     

    Like that it is far fewer books than SL, where we felt like we were beaten to death with books we were tired of. Like someone else said, there are only so many times you can read the same info before thinking geez, I get it already, and using the SL readers and read alouds felt like that. I do not find AA1 to have that issue. (My 6 yr old is doing SL grade 3 readers and that's her first time with assigned reading and she is so cute.)

     

    I feel like AA1 really does a good job for my 6th and 2nd gr kids. I dont feel like Im stretching either one the wrong way. I love the Maestro books it uses. I enjoy the Time Traveler CDrom (except I hate the printing and paper and ink $!) I bought all the cdroms used here.

     

    So far have not seen any anti catholic content.

     

    What I do not like:

     

    QRR needs questions. Why it doesnt have them when QMA does is beyond me. I did not purchase the additional exclusives like the make your own book and world's fair project list bc this kid is not a project kid like the other two are. Tho I have not yet begun I will probably have ds stop outlining Kingfisher (always seemed hard) and start outlining the other text used (Idiot's Guide).

     

     

     

    Knowledge Quest hasnt integrated the maps with WP yet. HURRY UP TERRY!! LOL Love Knowledge Quest.

     

    Ds felt some of the QRR WP selections were babyish (Shakespeare for Kids).

  5. Ya know, the scout oath and law are not some magical incantations that produce perfect behavior in young people. Im just dying here at the idea that this behavior- some name calling (followed by an accusation which is apparently a gross exageration of the extent of bullying) is reasonably best addressed by expulsion from scouting.

     

    And I love the grasping at straws wrt things people couldnt possibly know- ie what the kids were carrying.

     

    The fact is it isnt and shouldnt be easy to expel a kid from scouting. While the blah blah blah about scouting being and honor is all well and good, most 11-16 yr old boys are immature and naughty (this may yet continue far past 16) and the expectation of no misbehavior is frankly laughable.

     

    The idea isnt that the kids be perfect as young scouts but that they mature and learn and grow as scouts.

     

    I do also think there is an attitude of a lot of ribbing and teasing among any group of guys which to women will look mean or bizarre. That's a real difference between women and men I think. i never tease my sil about supporting some really crappy sports team, for example.

     

    Also calling wimpy people girl scouts seems to be a scout wide phenomenon as we have also heard it. I object and remind my boys that their sister could likely kick their butts. I do think to allow that sort of name calling is to subtly encourage misogyny.

  6. This is what I'm wondering. I'm not sure if there will actual answers given though.

     

    Some of you guys seem to be really confused about the existance of intrinsic motivation.

     

    Maybe you'd want to look into it a little.

     

    Its pretty early on that a sense of self preservation kicks in.

     

    its also fairly early on that most kids grasp social niceties.

     

    For those that didn't, despite living in homes where social niceties are practiced and re-enforced explicit instruction is usually udner taken. But its not always an immediate success.

     

    When my ds1 was 9 he received a gift he found insulting from an aunt and uncle who do not know him. He felt insulted bc it was beneath his level, but they did not know that bc they do not know him. he was insulted bc he can't grasp that it was nice of them to get him a gift bc he is too busy being insulted by it. he actually had a little snit about it. We sent him upstairs.

     

    not bc we thought that would teach him. rather bc we needed to get him out of the room and apologize.

     

     

    The next year rolled around. Prior to Christmas we spoke many times about how these people do not know him and may not be able to choose a gift for him that he will enjoy but that they want to share a gift with him bc its tradition and he is their nephew etc We practiced appropriate responses.

     

    He received Uno. It was a nicer Uno not the carboard box one.

     

    Tho we had practiced he was unable to reach completely appropriate levels. He opened it and looked at it in confusion and said, "This must be for my brother." They assured him it was for him. He eventually said, "oh. well my brother can have it."

     

    That was progress.

  7. The only think I found to work for my difficult kiddo was to walk away. Turn off the stove, shut off the oven, and leave the room. Depriving him of an audience for his rudness was the only thing that ever worked. He would follow me around (yelling of course), but I would shut the door and ignore him until it was quiet.

     

    I can't promise success with this, but it was the "drastic consequence" that worked here.

     

    yes I find that removing myself works well too.

     

    Not engaging is key. If you are stuck in a car just do not respond. remembering ross Greene's advice that you cant reason with someone who is irate/ upset makes a difference with my explosive son.

  8. How does one absolutely not allow a child to play in traffic, run after mom with a knife, beat the dog with a ball bat? If a parent has found a way to not allow those behaviors, why can't the parent use the same method to not allow calling mom and dad obscene or rude names? Whatever that method is. As I've said before I get that each child gets an individual method depending on needs.

     

    I think what you are missing here is that kids don't generally want to run after mom with a knife, beat the dog or etc. Unless they have a mental illness. those really aren't issues the typical child's parents encounter, But mentally ill children do those things and its not bc their parents "let" them.

  9. I find this comment rude and uncalled for.

     

    I never said I was an expert at parenting. You don't know me or my kid and have no idea what goes on in my family.

     

    Often times on this forum (and the others) one is given the opportunity to express one's views on any number of situations. I said what would have happened if my kid called me a foul name. I won't apologize for it. It is what I would have done. I do not expect you or anyone else to do the same. I don't expect you to agree with me and I don't expect to agree with you.

     

    In the same manner that I won't be spoken rudely to by a child, I won't be spoken to rudely by an adult. So I'm finished with any conversation with you.

     

     

    I did not say I blamed bad parenting on adult children's drug issues. I was relaying what I was told time and again when I was in L.E. dealing with and looking for the a$$hole who had just beaten up his family member (often his mother) or stolen his parent's car or some such situation when I had cause to come into contact with the individuals parents. Time and again the parents blame themselves and admit over and over they had no idea how to parent effectively.

    Also what I asked (without going back and quoting myself, you can do that if you are remotely interesting in conversing instead of taking potshots) was when does personal responsibility get taught.

     

     

    Im sure they felt very comforted by your agreeing with them.:glare:

     

    I don't really get your point. So because these parents didn't feel they'd been effective its proof that rudeness and criminal behavior is the parents' fault?

     

    You know, you always wish you could do more and do better when your kids act out. That doesn't mean that the reality is that YOU didn't do enough or the right thing.

     

    The reality is that you do the best you can, esp if you are as educated and invested as most women on this board.

  10. I find it fascinating that the same people who are so interested in personal responsibility are so often guilty of blaming (bad) parenting for their adult children's drug issues.

     

    I don't know. Maybe. I can't say with certainty that you are absolutely right or for that matter that I am. I can only go with my life experience. In my experience the parents of grown children that have said the same things to me that you have (what I bolded above) are the parents of adults hooked on some kind of drug/alcohol or being sentenced to jail time or on the run.

     

  11. Respectfully, I think you may have missed an important point here. You can be the best parent in the world, and doing all of the right things *for that specific child*, and still not see the fruit of your labours in each and every moment. When you are parenting an explosive child, it's not as easy as just doing XYZ and, poof, no more issues. Sometimes you can spend years setting a foundation so that when the child is in the developmentally appropriate place, they finally get it. Sometimes they just aren't capable of reigning it in, no matter what you do. And that's not any more of an excuse than saying a two year old does typical two year old things because they're two... there's a broad range of 'typical', and for some kids, typical (i.e. natural/instinctive to them) can be pretty ugly.

     

    I really think it does a disservice to parents to blame a lack of parenting (or lack of the "right parenting") for a child's behaviour. Sometimes kids are going to do what they're going to do, and as parents we just have to do our best to help navigate through it all. Again, that's not about making excuses; it's about understanding that we need to do our best, trust that our kids are doing their best, and just keep moving forward.

     

    Melanie (mother to an angel child, an explosive child, and two as yet to be determined personality-wise)

    :iagree::iagree::iagree:

  12. I haven't read all the replies but I have a 5yr old who causes me this sort of concern for the future. He is the youngest, adorable but sweetly manipulative. He never wants to go to bed, never wants what for dinner, would argue for the sake of it, you get the picture. He cries A LOT if he doesn't get his way. A few days ago we were at a cycle trail in a forest park. Dh was taking a video and I remember him saying to ds to watch out for another boy. There was a minor collision but no one was hurt and that was the end of it.......

     

    Or so we thought.

     

    The video was left running but we weren't paying close attention as we have 2 other kids to look out for. It was only when we played it back at home that we saw the aftermath. He was saying in an angry tone "why did you do that? you kicked my bike, you made me fall" and so on and so on.... The poor boy, who was about 10, was asking if he was OK, then he just gave up and ignored him.

     

    I was stunned. There have been occasions in the past were I was led to believe that he had been "wronged" by someone, at homeschool group or at the park, but now I can't trust this child's word. I already have to watch him closely around my ds7 who has delays, as he would try to make a fool out of him, given the chance.

     

    Sigh.....

     

    You may be ascribing motive here incorrectly. I think the way you see your child is concerning. i mean, its possible he is a sociopath at 5 as you clearly believe, but then again if he isnt and you think he is... self fulfilling prophecy???

     

    Id get some serious counselling stat for the whole family.

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