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Posts posted by Zinnia

  1. My DS13’s first grade teacher emailed the parents in his class for any school special events and put all the parents email in the To: portion.


    So all the parents in that class ended up having each other’s email.

    This happened to us in kindergarten as well! I was always so grateful she didn't use bcc

    • Like 1
  2. At a certain point, the child has to WANT to live up to his/her potential. I'm dealing with this now.


    I've got a teen who has completed Algebra 2 and college-level statistics and is adamantly refusing to do any higher math. She has the brains to do calculus or beyond but lacks the motivation. She can graduate with a bachelor's in a non-STEM major from the UC or Cal State system with just the math she's completed and she's fine with that. I'm not going to make it a "hill to die on" because frankly, I haven't used anything beyond very basic algebra and statistics in my adult life. I took through multi-variable calculus but at this point couldn't solve a derivative or integral if my life depended on it.


    My educational goal for her is to complete her bachelor's degree and if she can do that with only Algebra 2 and statistics, I don't think that makes me guilty of "educational neglect" just because she could theoretically pass calculus if she were interested and willing to do the work required.

    I am 42. I was public schooler. I didn't take calculus my senior year (a 4th year wasn't required back then, and my parents encouraged me to not push myself too hard). I regret it now, but I also made it through a bachelor's and master's degree without it. And you know what? I am teaching it to myself as my 2018 goal.


    There is only so much you can do with a non motivated high schooler.

    • Like 3
  3. I'm sorry, but this just makes it worse. Adoptive families and non-adoptive families both have difficulties, because all families do. No one who is not inside the family can discern what is going on, and to say to yourself that they are having adoption related issues -- it's just judgmental.



    But I *do* have friends (more than one) that say, "wow, adoption is so hard. I have trouble bonding to my adopted kids in the same way I did to my bio kids. It's a lot more work to get there."


    When a friend is very upfront about their struggles (and these two friends are out there to everyone, this is not confidences), then it doesn't feel so judgy, but more....yeah, this sometimes happens

  4. AC is a big issue here. We live in a house we can afford, a little below market rate. We are likely here another 18 months (then plan to buy). Last spring, our roof was replaced, and now, all summer, our AC doesn't really keep up. It's hot in here from about 1pm until midnight from July to September. It's at least 80+ in here the whole time. It starts to cool off after midnight, and the early AMs are tolerable.


    Long summer last year, and we are looking at at least 1, maybe 2, more. But moving is costly, and it will set back our goals. So another hot summer it is.

  5. Going to the library and picking out a book for him. Mine likes audio books, so I will go on our library's site, download it, then "sell" it to him on why I picked it for him. He really appreciates that.


    Picking up a Redbox and again selling him on it. This can the into quality time for you, so win/win.


    If I have a choice on something small, I will go with the choice my husband likes. Olives to snack on after work one night. A new flavor of seltzer. A new brand of coffee.


    And mine isn't big on presentation as in wrapping, but he really, really wants me to sell him (this is so hard for me). "I have a special dinner planned for Saturday. I thibk you'll like it! I am making blahdety blah fancy way to describe roast chicken and sweet potatoes." "Oh, Honey, thank you!" Works every time. Still surprises me. :)

    • Like 1
  6. Aw, man.  I was hopeful that doing the 23andme one would be helpful.  Knowing only half of my lineage, it's always been a curiosity of mine what the other half could be.  




    My friend is adopted, and she always wondered about her heritage  The results showed a heavy dominance of Scots-Irish.  For her, that's enough, and it is very satisfying to her to have an idea, a place, a people.  

    • Like 1
  7. I took a 2 month old baby on a 12 hour road trip. We did 12 hours up, 12 hours back, so 2 days of travel in 4 days. She was a very easy baby, and it was fine. We were also traveling with a 2, 4, and a 6. The 6 year old was the hardest, but he always has been.


    That then 6 year old would not have been able to handle that trip. He screamed in the car for months and months. At least 13-14. He was a su per bad traveler.

  8. Most of the women in my circles did not drink while pregnant.


    However, the mommy culture of drinking is definitely something I feel.  I am on a 4000 member local mom facebook group.  There was recently a thread on drinking, and most of the responders said that they drink 2-4 drinks, 4-6 nights a week.  Y'all.  That's like 4 bottles of wine a week.  That's a lot.  And like I said, that was average.  Some people were more, some less, but that is average for where I live.


    I definitely know of two functional alcoholics in my life.  One is a friend.  One is my sister-in-law, whose life is currently imploding.  Both are just super sad cases right now. 

  9. Different people grieve differently, though, and a wide continuum can be healthy.


    A dear friend lost her first baby 20 years ago.  They still buy an ornament each Christmas to commemorate his life, and they release balloons and visit the cemetery each year on the anniversary of his death.  They are definitely not stuck in grief, and she has handled it better and better over the years.  They are a genuinely healthy family.  But they still have those rituals that they do to remember.  

    • Like 7


    Another mom and I once had a very "who's on first?" conversation about a bake sale, because she kept telling me she was bring no bake 'ems, which I eventually discerned meant a cookie of sorts that wasn't baked, but I persisted in trying to find out what kind she was bringing, when apparently there is only one recipe wherever she is from. Which is definitely not the south, because we bake our damn cookies no matter how hot it is outside. 




    We grew up with "boiled cookies," which no one outside of my town seems to have referred to them as.  Everyone else calls them as "no bakes."  They are oatmeal, cocoa, and peanut butter.  Sort of a cross between cookie and candy.  



    • Like 1
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