Zinnia
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Posts posted by Zinnia
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He has heard stories of sharing a bedroom with two other siblings. But it would still probably surprise him to go to a friend’s house where that is the sleeping situation. Hopefully, he wouldn’t say anything that makes him sound like a snobby kid who has always lived in a spacios house, but if he did, it would be because he thinks that is “normal,†if only because the large majority of friends and family whose houses he has been in are like this.
My brother got married a few years ago, to a woman with 2 kids. They decided to have a new baby, so they finished out the bonus room to make theirs a 4 bedroom house. My SIL told me that they basically had no choice. "I mean, where was the baby going to sleep?" At the time, we had 4 kids in a 3 bedroom house. My kids have always shared. But she was just so oblivious to that as a possibility.
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Mine only travels every other week, and I still have my moments. Like most of the time, it's fine, it's all good....but some days, I just get tired. Really tired.
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This is how my mom feels, too. I try to remember that when I am shopping for her.Under no circumstances would I consider a washer a personal gift because laundry is not my personal hobby.
For me, I like anything that could improve my life, so I am fine with appliances and the like. No different than if I bought dh a new suitcase for Christmas, even though the reason he needs one is work travel. It will improve his life. That's what I am thinking when I pick it out.
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$70/month
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My 9 year old is dyslexic. He is in the 3rd grade. Public school for K, then home for 1-now 3rd. In theory, he likes homeschool (says that he does, enjoys outside classes, likes the freedom).
He has become increasingly belligerent and uncooperative to me. In the last month, it has extended to my husband, as well, but before that, only me and only around the issue of school.
We started Barton with him August of 16, after I became pretty convinced of the dyslexia. We got the official diagnosis last spring (so 2017). He finished level 2 of Barton in September, and we moved to level 3. He has found it difficult (as all Barton), but he has put his foot down and rarely cooperates. For the last 2.5 months. He will refuse, then if I push it, he will do whatever it takes to get out of school. He prefers tantrumming at this point. Yelling and screaming, throwing things, and utterly, completely refusing to do any bookwork. It takes over the house when he does this, demanding attention. I also have a 1st grader and preKer at home.
At first, he just refused Barton, but in the last month, it is everything (and it's very simple--Barton, math, and handwriting, plus homework for a Bible study we are in). We do FIAR as a spine. He will sometimes sit with us as I read the book, sometimes not. Sometimes do the FIAR project/discussion, sometimes not.
I have punished and rewarded, talked and talked, lectured, and we are working through the Huebner book, What to Do when you Grumble Too much, based on CBT ideas. It is helping more than anything else has.
The refusing to do school work is starting to concern me, though. We can not afford the private dyslexia schools in my city. My school system is average with dyslexia--our local school will likely test and "wait and see" even with a dx, even with me pushing. To afford 2 hours of tutoring a week, I will need to go back to work, which will put my 1st grader (also dyslexic) and preKer into school. Our best, realistic options are homeschool or public school with me tutoring i n the afternoon.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how long to wait out a kid that just refuses to do schoolwork. Anyone have a kid like this? Did they go back to school? Wrap their head around homeschool?
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Not the person you're quoting, and this was not the case in my immediate family, but I have one aunt who insists on hosting her family (kids/grandkids/greatgrandkids) and her siblings' families every year. She is 92 and it's been her "job" since her mother died. She does not plan to stop till she dies. I don't live nearby to attend but everyone else who lives within a reasonable distance goes to her house. I imagine people bring stuff and she doesn't do all the work anymore. But this is what she wants to do and her family is happy to let her.
My mom hosts. She is young (62) and healthy and plans to host for a long time. I would love to host, but I love my mom more, and so we go over there. My great-grandmother hosted at her house until she died, and my mom took over. It skipped my grandmother, though I don't know if by choice or circumstance.
The point in which my mom is too old to host is likely the point in which I will have daughter in laws that want to host, and it will skip my generation. I have made peace with that. Mostly.
My mom's house is a formal affair with few leftovers. When I was a nurse, we came on Friday one year (worked Thursday night, slept in the car on the way there), expecting food to have been saved. Big nope.
Different family cujltures really are different.
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Six of us in a minivan. It's practical
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I like the black label Lysol toilet cleaner. Crazy chemicals, but it does work. It got my grout clean as a last ditch. I put it on, let it sit, then scrub, rinse, and I have had great results.
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Congealed salad seems to be a big one that people love or hate. My mom makes one with cranberries, celery, pineapple, pecans, in cranberry or cherry jello. I think it's good, and i look forward to it.
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My mom hosts. She adores her china, so full china, crystal, and silver for 14. Cloth napkins, ironed tablecloths, the full 9 yards. It's impressive.
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Do you camp? An upgrade in gear or a missing piece wpuld be nice.
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This is not true in every industry. My dh is a rare Xer in an industry full of boomers. As the boomers retire (and many of them are being "encouraged" to do that early), they are replacing with millenials. There are very few Xers in the industry. It's not well paying, but it's solid and steady work.Right, but you got a job. A job that didn't exist until they decided to make one for you. And then they hired you because of your credentials, and they promoted you from that job into another one.
People of that age today are not able to get those jobs. If they have the credentials, they are not able to get those "ground floor" positions. If they do get those positions, they are not able to use those positions as a launchpad to promotion.
Companies are not hiring them. And if they are hired, they're hired as temps only, and carefully fired before they're eligible for long-term benefits. They are not getting promoted.
They're not "sulking" because they can't get good jobs. They're rightfully upset that they're getting insulted for not being able to get any jobs... outside of retail. Retail is booming right now.
The main problem with the hires that they have is convincing them that making money is a good enough reason for a company to exist. The younger workers seem to, as a whole, want a deeper meaning for their work. Which I get.....I am a nurse midwife by trade and now a homeschool mom; I want to save the world! But the guys he works with in older generations do feel that this is new....the desire for meaningful substance even within the corporate, for profit, business world.
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At that point for us, they stop ripening. I picked peppers this week because of threat of frost, but they had not really grown much in the last few weeks once it got cold at night (cold meaning 50 or below for lows).
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I don't have kids with autism, but I do have 2 that have had very challenging behavior in ebbs and flows over the years. So, maybe not the exact experience, but I can relate to having a 5 year old in church because he just could not go to Sunday School, to hiding under tables, etc. I had a 9 year old completely melt down yesterday after 2 days with cousins.
You are not alone. You are not the only person to have ever dealt with this. You are not a bad parent. You are not a bad mother. Your MIL and those words she said are not right. You are the right mother for your son, and yuou will figure this out, even if at times it feels like you never will.
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Have you ever heard of disequilibrium as a developmental stage? I learned about it ages ago when my oldest was in early childhood classes. I've never heard of it anywhere else in the 12(?) years since and it might be nonsense, but I feel like it has been true with my own kids. This link explains it.
That's not to say that you shouldn't pursue an evaluation. I only thought it might offer an explanation for where this "out of nowhere" behavior came from.
This has been true for my kids, too, especially one of them. We have often described it as the growing pains before an emotional growth spurt. We will go through this really awful period, where you think tgis might be the one that kills you/drives you to insanity, then, boom, a breakthrough and a huge, noticeable jump in maturity
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Send the link, "it's in good condition," and "I have other interest." She should respond well within the hour if she wants.
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The turkey, especially the white meat. It tastes awful to me. I like the dark meat. When I make a turkey at home (which I do, because I am cheap and 59cents calls to me), We use the breast for soup. When it's shredded like that, I can do it.
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I would do another veggie. Kale or turnips or collards. Something green.
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I'm not sure how far out of the city that they go, but a popular one near me is hux.com. People in my neighborhood have had nothing but good to say about them.
Another friend uses Love Maid Room, which she is happy with. l
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Also there's a difference in my experience between end of the family preschoolers and toddlers and first preschoolers and toddlers.
This. I have a niece here this week with her 3 and my 4 (we are close in age). We haven't seen each other in about 2 years because of distance. Now, our kids are 11, 9, 7, 7, 5, 5, and 3. The level of supervision has gone down SO MUCH in the last 2 years. We were just remarking on it. Because we see them infrequently, it's easy to see the difference, but man, those 2 years have made a huge, huge difference. The baby of the bunch can hold his own at 3 in a way that the oldest two just could.not.do.
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It did in the 1950s and 60s. And many without a college education were able to support a wife and several kids well on one salary.
I have heard rumor of this, but mostly not in places where I lived. My dad got hit by a recession in the late 70s, went back to school, then was able to do okay. My parents are solid boomers.
My in-laws are the silent generation, and they did have some really good luck along the way. In their day, "some college" seemed to equal as much success in the corporate world as an MBA does today. That seems to be a big difference.
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Thought of another on this morning:
Your dentist isn't lying about the electric toothbrush.
Or flossing. It really is important
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I think that a lot of families are dealing with intense kids at times, and it impacts their decisions about, well, everything. Those decisions sometimes look crazy or controlling on the outside, but they are just trying to parent the kids they've got in the best way they can.
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When I am in a frugal funk, I reread The Tightwad Gazette. A lot of the ideas are dates now, but the overall message is to choose frugality, in 90% of the things, so that you can live the life you want and splurge on the 10% of things that matter to you. For many of us here, it's having the flexibility to mostly stay home and homeschool. That's my luxury, and the cuts I make in other spots enable that.
The mindset is key for me, and it really helps.
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My first poll -- Increases in health insurance premiums...
in The Chat Board
Posted
NONE!! Amazing.
We went from $4500 to $6000 deductible, $12,000 to $15,000 out of pocket. And a crazy ELAP plan that is on the very, very edge of mainstream insurance practices. So that premium comes at a fairly high cost.