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Sharon H in IL

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Posts posted by Sharon H in IL

  1. I'm coming to the conclusion that it may be developmentally appropriate for 15 year old boys to be totally focused on the here and now. My son is bright and outgoing, but at the moment (almost 15) he is almost completely unable to care about anything outside his small circle of interests.

     

    I'm afraid I recall being somewhat similar at that age. My interests were few, and intense. Nothing else appealed. :001_huh:

     

    That narrow focus makes them ignore all that came before and unable to imagine what may come after. As I recall, and speaking with mothers of older boys, they seem to emerge from this cocoon in a few years, with a sense of humor and an appreciation of their parents. Let's hope so! :lol:

  2. Yes, my DH is an only child of a very elderly mom with dementia.

     

    But she lives in a MIL apartment attached to our home, and has daily home health aides come in to take her places and keep her company.

     

    Our situation is so different, though, that I'm afraid I have no insight or BTDT advice to offer. All I can say is it sounds as if you're doing the best you can with the information you have. It's all you can do.

     

    Men are often pretty out-of-touch with their emotions (mine is!) and they need to process things internally before talking about it. When you see him, maybe go for a long walk or out for coffee. See if he wants to talk *while* doing something. Get him together with other male friends. Get him outdoors, so he doesn't vegetate into depression.

     

    Good luck, dear. It's hard to help our elders, and our husbands, especially.

  3. White-on Black lynching was an example of the breakdown of the rule of law in areas where sympathy with the Southern cause was widespread.

     

    (Because it wasn't just in the South)

     

     

    The practice of lynching grew as a response to racial fears and hatred stirred up by southern elites who saw their political power eroding after the franchise was granted to former slaves.

  4. So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

    Yes. :D

     

    I am the saver in the family, DH is the spender. But he's also the primary (now solo) wage earner for most of our married life. And since you can't go around smacking your beloved's hand every time he buys useless stuff or buys stock on margin (GAHH!!), or otherwise makes foolish financial decisions you have to bite your tongue and keep cutting coupons. I can definitely say we are NOT on the same wavelength when it comes to money issues.

     

    We'd be wealthy if I got to make all the financial decisions. :lol: We're fine as it is, though way underfunded on our regular savings and retirement imo.

     

    I'm going to have to stop homeschooling and go back to work if I want to have somewhere to lay my head once I'm old.

     

    So, having a good income and little debt (just the house) can all be undone by issues having to do with unresolved anger and worthlessness installed by poor parenting 50 years ago.

     

    That said, DH had a truly excellent public school education through high school. He finished a hard science major at an excellent public university in just three years. (Hard work, helped along by a desire NOT to go home during the summers.) A fabulous, retentive memory helped him get through medical school. Drive and ambition to do well helped too.

     

    He's brilliant, imo. That helps. He won awards for research and has published nearly everything he's written in respected scientific journals. Those help when you're job hunting. He chose a speciality that is in demand, though not particularly well-paid, and the market changed 180 degrees from where it was when he began med school. No job security, and high expenses. Income has been up, down, and nonexistent when a clinic he participated in tanked. We've rebuilt from a deep hole several times.

     

    He made a good decision in marrying a smart cookie who's a help rather than a hindrance. :thumbup: heh heh.

     

    I'm much more frugal than DH is, no matter what our income has been. I do research before buying, and cast a jaundiced eye at advertising come-ons. I favor a long-range investment strategy.

  5. I operate best when I have set up routines for my day, and practice habits and disciplines that bring order.

     

    I think deeply about the choices I want to make into a Habit. Then, once the decision is made, I can relax, and reduce my frustration and stress.

     

    It works at work -- why do you think businesses develop policies? Because re-inventing the wheel every day gets to be a drag, not to mention inefficient.

  6. Selling at a loss in a depressed market is normal and necessary in order for the market to adjust to a realistic level.

     

    Many, many homeowners have not processed the fact that housing prices will not go up forever by fiat of the universe. That the laws of demand and supply operate in housing as well as other markets.

    They would rather hold than sell at a significant loss.

     

    Therefore the market does not recover.

     

    And here we sit.

  7. I read this in Reader's Digest (best joke book in the world):

     

    Stuck in traffic, a man got fed up with the fellow behind him who was leaning on his horn. He got out, walked back to the horn-blower, tapped on his window, and said politely, "You summoned me?"

     

    Only funny if you're a fan of P.G. Wodehouse, I suppose. I thought it was hilarious. :lol:

  8. Yep. And a number of times a year they have Educator Weeks and you can get almost anything in the store for 25% off.

     

    The Educator card/discount also works on the B&N website.

     

    My experience has been less than wonderful with B&N. My educator card NEVER worked on their website. Even during educator weeks a lot of the best (A & E, BBC) dvds and all music cds were excluded. :confused:

     

    It seemed to me that their advertising dept would come up with all these great ideas, but they never managed to have the software able to perform. And they wouldn't order books from outside their company, even if it was in print. I would go in with a long list of books that I was hoping to buy during educator week, and walk out with one, and another on back order. That's all. :001_huh:

     

    I have fond memories of destination bookstores, large and small. Never made it to the original Borders. That would have been heaven.

  9. My oldest daughter is an absolute nightmare to try to shop her list is so strict.

     

    makeup/animal ethics

    food/organic & vegan

    clothing/sweatshops

     

    and so on and so on...

     

    Oh I hear you. Being completely perfect is probably hard on her, but it has to be exhausting for her mama! :lol:

     

    Seriously, though, we all have to prioritize, or else we will go nuts. Some days, I'm all in Camp Green. And then I have my Workers of the World, Unite! days when I realize how supporting union workers is key. And then, I pass up a deal on Nestle condensed milk because they willingly starve babies of their mothers' milk for a profit. Sigh. I am never going to be consistent, because I have multiple priorities, and I'm always shuffling them. :glare:

  10. "Separating sexy motions and looks from sexual feelings" That was one of the things that struck me in the article. How true, and how sad.

     

    The article's leader promised it would explain *why* pageants became so popular but it never did. It merely described how they did become popular. Begs the question, doesn't it? I mean, little girls wanting to be princesses isn't anything new.

  11. I have many versions of my dream home. For my many dream lives.

     

    Right now, I'd like an old home with enough character to be both beautiful and homey, and enough new effecient features to function with ease.

     

    brick exterior (recently tuckpointed by someone else!)

    full finished basement that doesn't leak when it rains

    triple-paned thermal fiberglass windows with low-e gas

    geothermal heat/cooling

    whole-house fan

    good cross-ventilation

    big old trees

    sidewalks

    neighborhood plotted and built up in the late 1800's to early 1900's

    whole house vacuum with baseboard kickplate in each room

    wood floors or tile floors (no carpet)

    tons of built in bookshelves

    lots of natural light

    room for a garden and clothesline in the back yard

    bow window in living room and/or dining room

    large staircase to second floor

    lots of wood detailing

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