Aiden
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Posts posted by Aiden
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Currently I live almost 5,500 miles from my mother. The place we'll most likely live when we return to the U.S. is still over 400 miles from her.
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I answered for my subculture of birth--the subculture into which I was born and in which my extended family still operates. It is not normal, but also not a problem for them. The assumption is that if I trust them with my children, I trust them to make good decisions with regard to who else can be trusted with my children. They see absolutely no problem with it.
It would make me uncomfortable. It has not come up with my daughter, because she doesn't like to be without me, so she doesn't do extended visits without me. It's unlikely to come up ever, because my family all (1) are too old, (2) have both adults working so there would be no use for my daughter to stay with them, as she wouldn't be spending time with them anyway, or (3) tolerate children well only in small doses.
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I don't mind pictures being taken, though I'm overweight and usually hate to look at anything but a head shot. People who know me well know that I don't mind pictures on FB, though I prefer that the person's privacy settings be locked down to "friends only" or possibly "friends of friends," not that it's possible to enforce that preference and I don't even try. I also never put pictures of myself, my family, or anyone we know on my blog--I'm fine with pictures of service providers (tour guides, performers, etc, people who know that their jobs put them "out there") and, if I can't crop them out, then random tourists/passersby may end up in pictures that I share--but if it's someone I know, they get cropped out or the picture doesn't go on the blog. I prefer that my picture not end up on the internet other than social media with privacy settings enabled, but I won't complain too much if it does unless it also has my name attached to it. Then I'd look into whether or not I could get it taken down. My husband and I both periodically search our names on Google to see what comes up. He has a couple of pictures from college that show up; I've not had any so far.
Basically, I try to preserve what I feel is reasonable privacy. I'm under no illusions about internet safety or that Facebook actually is private--I know it isn't. Anyone who wants to know anything about me can find it somewhere. And I'm well aware that a person could read through my blog, find all the little offhand comments and accidental hints here and there, and probably discover everything they need to know to figure out who I am, where I grew up, all sorts of things. I also know that if I take reasonable precautions to preserve some privacy, then anyone who isn't specifically targeting me most likely will target someone easier. ("You don't have to outrun the bear ...") And if someone is specifically targeting me, there's nothing on the internet they couldn't find out elsewhere with even mediocre investigation skills.
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I totally sympathize.
When we had ongoing issues with Amazon shipping, I sent an email to Jeff@amazon.com. That's purportedly the CEO's email address. I'm not naive enough to think it's actually his, but it does seem to go to a higher level customer service team than you're likely to get on a phone call. The issue we had was ongoing, and my husband received several followup emails basically to let us know they hadn't forgotten and were working on the problem.
Also, for first contact when we have problems with them, we never call. We use the online chat. We do that because we don't like to be on the phone and we like to do other things while dealing with them, but it also helps with tempers. I know we've always been taught to think before we put anything in writing, but it's easier to just say whatever comes to mind. And I think they have scripts that they copy and paste so even if they're cursing at us out loud, all we see is the approved script. When we need to escalate, as we did for our ongoing shipping issue, we email the jeff@amazon account.
In your case, I'd either hit the chat or email jeff@amazon with my concerns over whether this would arrive in time and with my expectation that if it doesn't arrive by the promised time (promised when you placed your order--i.e., "guaranteed by Christmas"), that the delay will result in a refund of the extra shipping charges. And I'd also mention that their CS people yelled at you, providing a date, time, and name(s) if possible. I doubt anyone will be fired or disciplined, but you can pretend ;)
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I think it's sweet of you to include them. They may feel awkward if they don't have anything for you, but if it's just a small gift given with a casual attitude, then I think it's nice.
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On my wishlist:
a rack to organize flattish kitchen things (pyrex baking dishes and lids, cutting board, cookie sheets)
Pioneer Girl
the new illustrated Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
a couple of adult coloring books with Prismacolor pencils
a couple of kindle books
a Le Creuset grill pan
a yoga DVD
the newish live action Cinderella movie
I'm not totally sure what all on my list I'll be receiving, except that I know my mom got me the kitchen rack (she didn't wrap it well, and the paper was falling off when I pulled it out of the shipping box--not too surprising, as she still has some fine motor issues from a stroke early this year). I know my husband bought something from Barnes & Noble, so one or more of the books is probably on the way. For the first time in years, I have no idea what my mother-in-law chose--my husband intercepted her package and hid it away before I ever saw it--but she always chooses something off my wish list.
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I'd call.
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I'm so glad you stepped out of your comfort zone, too! Thank you for sharing.
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I have the ones from Sonlight P3/4 and P4/5. I like them. They don't get lost or pushed back on the shelves as much as the plethora of itty bitty individual paperbacks do. They're heavy enough that before I could trust her not to tear them, I could trust her not to get them--we lost many a small book that she tore up, but she never bothered those because they were too heavy. Now she's old/big enough to get the books and carry them to a table or sofa, and sit with them on the table or her lap or the floor, and look at them. The pages seem harder to tear than the cheap PBs, so that's good too. And I like the look of them.
It also made it easy when we travel and wanted to take bedtime books with us--just take one book and have a nice range of choices, rather than a bunch of small PBs that could get bent, lost, etc, and still not have as many options.
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I wasn't able to nurse my daughter, so feeding wasn't an issue--I'd whip out the bottle and usually end up passing her off to the first person who asked if they could feed her. She also would sleep best in someone's arms. I never anticipated needing a private room for anything, so I didn't ask ahead of time.
I would ask the hostess where she preferred I change the baby's diaper--some said that anywhere was fine, so I'd just whip out the mat and do it in an unobtrusive corner of the room. Most directed me to a guest bedroom.
My daughter did have a couple of meltdowns due to noise at parties, though, and I appreciated it when the host offered a spare bedroom as a quiet place where my husband and I could take turns holding and soothing her while the other enjoyed the party.
Most of my friends are older than me and well past their baby days. I'm not sure that I've hosted a party where guests had babies. However, if I did, I'd do the same as the hosts I appreciated during my daughter's babyhood--have a space available if needed, even if it weren't as clean as the rest of the house.
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I used to use that one and it was great. I definitely recommend starting with it. I have since upgraded to one from the dentist but I keep a spare, unmolded OTC one around in case of catastrophe with the new one, to have it to use while I wait for a new one from the dentist.
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I prefer to overbudget. I don't get angry, but I do get anxious when we approach the limits of our budget. I like to see those "extra" amounts add up so that when we do go over--as we always do at holidays, for example, no matter how much extra I budget that month--we have enough to cover it. For me, it's a security thing. I feel more secure when we have plenty of money in each budget category.
In your situation, I'd have a frank conversation with my husband about what he expects. For one thing, it is unreasonable to set an annual grocery budget, if that's what you're doing, or even to set a set-in-stone monthly budget. It makes much more sense to have a budget template that you make adjustments to each month, to account for the natural variations in spending patterns. It also is unreasonable to get angry when you spend your budgeted amount--it may be reasonable to feel angry if you go over, but not if you meet it. It also is unreasonable to set a tight budget, especially if you know you prefer to have money left over, unless your finances are such that you really can't afford to spend more than that tight budget.
Also, who makes the budget? In our family, I make it because I do most of the purchasing, but my husband looks over it and sometimes suggests changes, so we both have ownership of it. If he demanded that I set an unreasonably low grocery budget, I'd explain to him that it wouldn't work and that if he insisted on trying it, he'd be doing the meal planning for the month and that I would not accept the blame if the necessary ingredients cost more than he budgeted.
I like the system we use. We lived very frugally for a few months so that we saved a full month's income. Ever since then, we've lived off the previous month's income, so that at the beginning of the month, we already know exactly how much money we can spend that month. We make a new budget every month--some things are the same, such as savings where we've calculated how much we need per month to reach a goal, and a few fixed expenses. Other things vary. For example, we budget more for food in November and December, as well as any month in which we're going on vacation and will be eating out more. This system also allows me to keep track of what we're actually spending and make adjustments to the budget relatively quickly--if I budget $500 for groceries but spend $600, even while being careful, then I know that in my next budget I should budget more for groceries and less for something else.
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I think it sounds like a good move. If you're concerned about the pay cut and what that would do to your budget, I'd start trying it out immediately. We make a new budget each month (more like tweak a standard budget, but still--we look at the numbers every month), to account for variability in income and outgo (overtime, bonuses, variable bills, etc), so I'd figure out what that $9k/year looks like monthly and adjust our budget--beginning in January, if I couldn't the numbers to work halfway through this month. I'm almost positive we could find that amount to come out of our monthly budget, even without decreasing the amount we save each month. And we actually could decrease the amount we save each month, because in your scenario, we'd be saving some each month in case of medical bills until we met that deductible, and we wouldn't have to do that anymore with the new health insurance plan.
In the meantime, while you're trying out the paycut but still receiving the normal salary, you're saving that "extra" to serve as a cushion in case there are any expenses associated with the transition, or in case you have an oopsy or two while adjusting to the lower budget.
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Take a picture of it with your phone, email it to yourself, download it to your computer (or take a pic with a camera and download to your computer however you normally do), and upload it here. If you have a tablet or smart phone that allows you to browse the internet, you may be able to upload it here directly. I haven't posted pics here so I'm not sure what the picture uploading interface is like.
Doing the phone/computer/here method is lots of steps, but depending on the length of the recipe, often quicker than all the typing.
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Please contact the police EVEN IF the girls are removed from the bus, you get a new driver, etc. Just because they're off the bus doesn't mean they won't continue this behavior--they may seek out whoever they see as responsible for their punishment, or they may switch to a new target, but they will continue. It's important that the police know so that, even if the behavior is directed elsewhere, the police have all the information and can intervene as much as they are able, or at least have it documented that they should have intervened if they don't and something happens.
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I feel the same way. My only child is 5. I blame exhaustion and stress (the causes of which have very little to do with my daughter, but have been fairly constant parts of my life since shortly after she was born).
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I'm so sorry :grouphug:
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We used them and really liked them. We started beginning 1 when my daughter was 3.5. I don't recall how long it took to finish it. We did beginning 2 at age 4. Some days we only did one page, and others she wanted to keep going ... I think our record was 23 pages in one day.
Beginning 2 did require some writing of the numbers which was difficult for my daughter. I ended up skipping the pages where it was just writing the numbers and scribing on other pages.
The incremental, spiral approach worked well for my daughter. It was worth the investment for us. Your mileage may vary, of course.
Edited to add: unless you've done a lot of math activities with your child already, I'd consider it a year long curriculum.
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Did the police/animal control know that the dogs were on your porch, trying to come through your windows? That is very aggressive, and makes it impossible for you to leave your home safely at all--even if you got in a car in a garage, you'd risk them getting into you home when you opened the garage door to leave.
If the authorities won't do something after being notified of the severity of the situation, I'd kill the dogs. Consult with the police about a legal way to do it, and make it clear that you'll only do it when they're on your property. Then do it and immediately notify the police.
If you have any fear whatsoever that the neighbors will retaliate against you, make sure the police know of those concerns as well. And at the very least, keep a close eye on your dog for several months afterward ...
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Thanks everyone. That helps...I think...
Finally had a chance to talk to DH and it seems this was done intentionally. He's angry (for good reason). He already warned me that he'll probably be quiet and crabby the next couple of days but that I shouldn't take it personally. I probably will be too but somehow we're going to have to keep the kids from picking up on it.
They convinced the guy to get tested but DH is pretty sure they dropped the charges in exchange. That makes me so angry. It's unbelievable that someone has the option of refusing to be tested after something like this - and that this guy is likely going to walk away scot-free after putting us through this!
I am incredibly proud of DH for doing what he does and most of the time I'm glad he does it. There are times though - like now - when I'm just really not sure this job is worth it.
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
I'm so sorry your family is having to deal with this, and that it seems like the guy will walk away. I agree with you that when someone uses their bodily fluids as a weapon, they should lose the right to privacy when it comes to testing those bodily fluids. I appreciate the sacrifices your whole family makes. Please thank your husband for me.
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It would bug me. Our extended family--on both sides--view us to some degree as "the rich relatives," mostly because my husband's income is significantly more than theirs. They overlook the hard work he put in to get his job, the hard work he puts in at his job, the challenges of the lifestyle required by his job, and the fact that when we move back to the U.S., we'll be living in an area with a cost of living that is MUCH higher than the area where they live. Several relatives have made that kind of passive-aggressive statement in our presence in the past, and in each case, either he or I immediately made it clear to them that they could think whatever they want, but if they want to see us (or our daughter, who is the important one to them), they won't say it in our presence. (Our relatives' history made it obvious that the first time they said it would not be the last, so we nipped it in the bud from the start, rather than let them think it was ok, which inevitably would lead to escalation with them.)
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Good information! It wasn't re-taped. I'm not sure what to do. My concern is that I am getting ready to order my kids Christmas, and that will include electronics and video games. The opened box was soap yesterday, so not a target, and Monday was curtains. But then I got boxes between those that weren't opened, so I'm not sure what to think. The first one wasn't opened all the way across, so I thought it could have happened accidentally. The second was clearly cut with a knife right through the middle of the Amazon tape sealing the top of the box. It was cut all the way across. I was home when it was left on the porch, so I'm certain no one had access.
I'm still not sure whether to report. We get a lot of packages, and I've never had this before.
I would definitely report this.
You're certain that it was cut with a knife, that it was not resealed, and that it happened before it was delivered to your door. I assume UPS would not have accepted an open box, so chances are good it happened while in their custody.
Even if it were opened for some kind of routine inspection, the fact that it was not sealed afterward put all the contents in danger of falling out and becoming lost. That's the kindest possible explanation I can come up with, given your description of events, and I would complain about that even if I were certain that was the explanation. The less kind explanations ... well, I'd do more than complain about those if I had any proof ;)
Whatever caused the box to open--UPS accepting it already open, it being opened for good reason but then not resealed, it being opened for nefarious reasons--any of those events is worthy of complaint.
And for your upcoming purchases--check the policies of the vendors to ensure that if the item doesn't arrive for any reason, it will be replaced or refunded. If possible, buy with a credit or debit card that has some kind of buyer protection plan attached. Google frequently asks me if I want to activate their free buyer protection whatever when I buy things online--I have no idea what it covers, but my husband told me to activate it, so I do. I think Paypal has some kind of buyer protection policy. Look into those kinds of options, and buy from the vendor, using the method, that offers the best combination of protecting you and not costing you too much extra money. Then go ahead and order as soon as possible so you have time to deal with getting a replacement if it does get stolen in transit.
Good luck!
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Your intuition was telling you something. Your brain says it was wrong. Society says you're wrong.
Read "The Gift of Fear." You won't care anymore what your brain or society says. Trust your intuition. Don't ruin anyone's life with unfounded accusations based on your intuition (not saying you're doing that here, you aren't), but trust it when it tells you a situation isn't safe, for you or for your daughter.
You did the right thing, even if it turns out to have been unnecessary.
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Do they enjoy art projects? Maybe an inexpensive kit--I saw one at a local toy store yesterday where a young child could make and paint 7 refrigerator magnets, and there were more advanced kits for older children--that the kids could enjoy making and then either have the result for themselves, or give it away (grandmas tend to love child-created art).
Or, if they enjoy the piles of books, but you're limiting it to 1 each this year, maybe bump it up to 2 or 3 for the kids who don't want toys.
It's difficult to provide specific suggestions without knowing ages/interests of your kids.
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Who's going to tackle Thursday with me?
in The Chat Board
Posted · Edited by Aiden
Done:
Helped my daughter finish the Christmas cards she insisted on making for our neighbors (which meant her first ever copywork: "Merry Christmas! From Alexa")
Put together the gift bags we're giving the neighbors today and the coworkers when they come over for Christmas dinner tomorrow (just cookies, an inexpensive good luck charm that's traditional here, and my daughter's cards)
Made the macaroni and cheese so that it just has to go in the oven tomorrow
Checked the frozen ham to see that it seems to be thawing nicely ... hopefully we won't have a repeat of previous years when the still-half-frozen ham took twice as long to heat as expected
Finished our stealth Christmas homeschool unit (Christmas stories, a Christmas around the world study, and a St. Nicholas biography disguised as Advent activities, lol)
Still to do:
Finish the laundry (another 2-3 loads)
Find the tablecloths to be used tomorrow and make sure everything fits where I think I want it to go
Bake the apple pie for tomorrow
Take the frozen pecan pie down to thaw for tomorrow
Cook tonight's dinner
Deliver the gifts to the neighbors (and have an extra gift exchange with a neighbor to whom we're close)
Hide as much as possible of the ... stuff ... that's cluttering up the main living area so that I can pretend to my husband's coworkers tomorrow that we don't live in an episode of Hoarders
Decide whether to bring out the Christmas presents after my daughter goes to bed (and risk waking to a mess of paper and half-wrapped gifts under the tree--we have 2 cats who seem to know intuitively how to get in the most trouble) or to get up early tomorrow morning and set up the gifts under the tree.
Take a bottle of melatonin to a friend whose mom flew in yesterday as a surprise--Christmas Eve is not the night to be struggling with jet lag, and Christmas Day is not the day to be struggling with the effects of lying awake all night
What's that meme I've been seeing on Facebook lately?
"Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for the Mother who was hard at work making sure it was perfect for everyone else."