TianXiaXueXiao
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Posts posted by TianXiaXueXiao
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Hang in there, CaliforniaDreaming! I know how you feel. I used to be a smoker and it plagued me during the fasts. Little by little, God worked his grace upon me and I was set free! Now I have to struggle with the food but it has gotten much easier over the years. It's sorta like a rollercoaster. Just when you think you've got it, a new twist comes along and flips you over! Glory to God for all things!
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Welcome, LBK! I have to run and pick hubby up from work, but I wanted to tell you, it sounds like you are right where God wants you! I will check back later. So glad you introduced yourself! You will find the ladies here are very easy to relate to and communicate with. <3
-TWells
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Thank you for sharing this Milovany! This is my Matushka and we are very close. I have not been on the boards in some time and it is really encouraging to see that you posted this. Only a few days before Matushka's diagnosis, our priest's father was diagnosed with and underwent surgery for advanced pancreatic cancer, so you can imagine what a trying and difficult time it is for this family. Your prayers and support are so appreciated!
Feel free to PM us for prayers and help meeting the need that you wrote of. God be with you!
(((HUGS)))
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We use expat shield and it allows us to watch on BBC from US.
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I have a kid who is super prone to the headaches. Like 6 of the last 7 days she's been headachey enough to disrupt her life. The kid is 9.
Her vision has been checked. She sleeps plenty (8p - 7a, usually). No diet sodas or caffeine. Moderate amounts of exercise. Very limited screen time (well under an hour per day). We're beginning a Whole 30 to figure out whether it's some food thing (what??).
The kid has been headachey off and on forever, it seems like, but with a definite uptick in the last couple of months.
Any ideas? I mentioned it to her pediatrician, who offered medication (we may be back for that!) but little inclination to understand the cause.
I would have her evaluated for tmj disorder by a dentist and I would have her vitamin d and thyroid levels checked. I would also do allergy and sensitivity testing. I would take these measures before making big dietary changes. I suffer chronic headaches and ever since I started taking super doses of vitamin d due to deficiency, I feel like a new person! Seriously, I used to have daily headaches that disrupted my life. Now I'm only getting them when I sleep wrong or during menstruation.
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In CS Lewis' memoir about his youth, Surprised by Joy, the tarts (male or female) in his school were the ones who offered company and sex to the bullies who ran the show.
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Need new Netflix, Amazon Prime, or Hulu show to watch. Right now I am finishing up Parenthood which I love. How did I miss that back in the day? Reminds me of another show that I loved, Brothers and Sisters. Both will go down as two of my favorite all time series but I am looking for anything really. My tastes are varied. Generally I don't love gory but liked Daredevil. I don't do horror or excessive nudity. I have watched many shows so there may not be much left to suggest. Please don't judge. LOL.
Downton Abbey
Daredevil
Agents of Shield
Arrow
Supernatural
Flash
Brothers and Sisters
Parenthood
Last Man Standing
Reba
Friends
Sienfield
Baby Daddy
Shannara Chronicles
Fringe
Hart of Dixie
Revenge
Firefly
Pretty Little Liars
Jericho
When Calls the Heart
Beauty and the Beast
House
Everybody Loves Raymond
Touch
24
Star Crossed
Dr.Quinn Medicine Woman
Little House on the Prairie
Homeland
Mad Men
The Americans
Six Feet Under
Parks and Recreation
30 Rock
3rd Rock from the Sun
Law and Order (original series)
Outlander
X-Files
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Praying for your dear daughter and for your mama's heart. Peace be with you.
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We bought with a 0 down USDA loan for rural communities last year. Our home was $237,000 in a HCOL area. Our monthly mortgage is roughly $1500.
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Tell me how you picked a local church...after you tell me which category you fit into. I think my categories cover everyone who hasn't been at the same church their whole adult lives that their parent(s) picked or that their denomination assigned/strongly recommended. But if not, tell me about that too.
Category A
1. You became a Christian when you were not living with your parent(s).
2. You didn't join the church your parent(s) attended (whether you were living with them or not) or your parents weren't church goers.
3. You're part of a wing of Christianity that doesn't assign/strongly recommend a local church based on your home address.
How did you hear about that very first church you chose to attend? What specifically were you looking for in a church at that time? Was there a tie breaker of some kind that made you choose one church over another that was a contender? What was that tie breaker? Roughly how many years ago was that? What have you looked for in churches since then?
Category B
1. You became a Christian while you were living with your parent(s) and attended your parent(s) church then at some point you attended a different church than your parent(s).
2. You're part of a wing of Christianity that doesn't assign/strongly recommend a local church based on your home address.
How did you hear about the churches you chose to attend when it was up to you? What specifically were you and your spouse and kids looking for in a church? Were there any tie breakers that have made you choose some churches over other contenders? Roughly how many years ago did you choose each church?
I'm asking because I suspect there are some ideas for outreach being thrown around my church these days that are more about what the people already attending are looking for with little to no thought of what someone who isn't here yet might want. So, I thought I'd just ask a wide range of people who have BTDT how finding a church worked for them and their thoughts on the process. No judgement. No assumptions. I want to understand what others think about this.
Add any thoughts you have about outreach to the unchurched (Christian and non-Christian) because I really want to learn from as many different perspectives as I can on this. I have very thick skin and I'm asking for personal experiences, personal opinions and honest feedback, so please don't be thin skinned when reading other peoples' responses and replying to them. If it's potentially upsetting to hear that some posters don't like how some churches do things and you like how those churches do it or if you're bothered that some posters like the way some churches do things and you don't like how those churches do things just bow out now and skip this thread entirely. I don't want people getting this thread shut down.
Thanks.
I am going to include a lot of background because it is helpful to see how we came to become a part our church which was the result of decades of church-hopping. I became a Christian at age 38. Before I was baptized into the Eastern Orthodox Church, I had been "spiritual but not religious" for most of my life. I was raised in a non-mainstream, non-Trinitarian, Gnostic religion that used the word "Christian" but was not Christian by definition since there was no teaching that Jesus Christ was truly the Incarnate Son of God. In that religion, Jesus Christ was merely a man who had attained enlightenment and had therefore become the model for the "perfect man." For the majority of my life, I accepted this as actual Gospel Truth. I understood myself to be a Christian and when I became an adult, I rejected the religion I had grown up in but I still believed that I had been taught the truth; I just didn't abide by the institution of the religion and it's rules, stewardship, and governance.
As an adult I visited many protestant and non-denominational churches, and quickly discovered that they all had a completely different understanding about Jesus Christ than what I embraced, so I jumped around from church to church until I could find one that either had the truth or would accept me despite the fact that I held a very different fundamental understanding. Daoism was the closest belief system
to what I believed about the world and the natural order, so I really embraced it as my core belief, but I didn't like leaving out Jesus, so my search for a church continued. After years of this church-hopping, I had finally arrived at the Quakers or Religious Society of Friends and finally felt that I could belong to a religion. The problem was that there was little if any talk about God or prayer in the fellowship hours after the mostly silent meetings. There was no formation for young souls and no formation for older adults as the local Friends Meeting in our town was solely devoted to advocacy for human rights and social change. After sticking around for a while and hoping to get something more spiritual from the meetings, I finally concluded that we were joining a club and not a spiritual body. I mean no offense to any Friends on the boards, as I am sure there are differences among the congregations.
Not long after our Quaker encounters, we were mystically led (I have shared this story elsewhere on the boards and don't want to take up the time here) to attend an evening prayer service (known as Vespers) at the only Orthodox Church in town which I had happened to live next door to. As soon as I entered the Church, I knew I had finally found a true spiritual home. I was so drawn to the church that I no longer wished for a church that accepted my beliefs about Jesus Christ, but instead desired to understand why my understand was faulty and to change it. It was a radical shift to discard all of my previously held beliefs and to embrace a completely different theology that included not only the divinity of Jesus Christ, but the worship of the Holy Trinity, and the respect and veneration of Mary the Mother of God.
A couple years after our baptism, we moved to a different state and to a region that had not just one, but many canonical local Orthodox churches. When we asked our former priest how to go about finding a new parish, his advice was much like what Patty Joanna shared above. He told us to find the smallest mission church, no matter the distance from our home, and dedicate our selves to that church so that we grow in the faith and service of others in humility. We struggled with this advice at first, but after being in the same small church for the last two years, there is really no other place to be. It is our community even though we drive 45 minutes to 1.5 hours one way depending on traffic and cross the state border to participate in the life of our beloved church!
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There are many different kinds of academies with different requirements. I think the OP should take the time to really check them all out. But to just dismiss the company school out of hand, because of what might be, isn't making the most of her options.
There are many different kinds of studio schools and many have attached dance companies. Our school has a company but they are performance oriented and not competitive for trophies, medals, etc.
The options where we live are parks and rec, studio schools (like what we are in), and serious pre-professional academies.
I think the commitment level is an important factor in finding the right approach to dance. If we had a lot of disposable income, I still wouldn't spring for the pre-professional academy unless dd wanted to be at the Academy daily. She loves dance but she also loves cooking, horse riding, painting, pottery, and swimming in addition to just goofing off with family and friends.
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Yikes! $575 per month for only 8 hours per week? :blink: We pay approximately 25% less than that at a ballet school with an attached professional company for 15 instructional hours per week, not including rehearsals. I thought that was expensive....
Please forgive me. I'm calculating Pointe shoes and costumes into the cost. The classes alone are $400 per month.
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I disagree.
Look, lots of kids have passions that they explore at this age that they don't pursue as adults
Lots of people study music to a very high level during their school years, going to competitions, summer music camps etc. Many of them don't pursue their music study in college, but I would never call that a waste. It's the same with sports. There are kids who play a sport with a high degree of commitment who have no intention of being professional athletes. Or maybe they do in their dreams, but they know it is not a realistic goal. But because they learn important skills that serve them well off the playing field it is seen as character building. I don't see how a passion for dance is any different.
The kids in First Position are more like kids who are Olympic athletes in high school. They move away from home to study with specific teachers, their school load tends to be minimal. It's not a representation of what life is like for the vast majority of kids who study dance at this age. Now their are kids who participate in that competition who are more like typical dancers, but the documentary focused on a small number of dancers who had a realistic chance at the dance scholarships. Most of the kids are there for the experience.
I am very glad your daughter is at the school that is right for her. She likes dance as a hobby, but she doesn't have a passion for it, and that is fine. I am so glad she is able to study it in a way that makes her happy. But I don't think it is a good idea to make a decision about what school a 7 or 9 year old should be in based on if he or she is going to be a professional dancer. How can anyone know that? For a kid who does have a passion, if that can be supported, I think that is great. There is nothing to lose if he or she doesn't become a professional. And I don't think that learning to be the best you can be, even if you don't plan to pursue a career in dance is a waste of time. I don't think learning to be the best violin player or swimmer that you can be is a waste even if you don't continue with that beyond age 20.
My son's school does send a couple dancers off to companies every year. And maybe one student a year leaves the school as a young teen and moves away to join a residential school for a professional company. But the vast majority don't. They go on to college and become accomplished in whatever is their chosen field of study. They have no intention of committing to dance as a lifestyle. They are becoming doctors or speech therapists or teachers or physical therapists or whatever. I know we have one physicist. But they sure seem happy to come back and visit.
I probably wasn't clear. I am talking about a lifestyle now at this age. If my daughter were at the Russian ballet academy today at age 12 she would be expected to dance 2 hours 4 days a week and our monthly tuition would be at minimum $575. Too me that is pretty darn serious. Maybe there are other academies that aren't this dedicated but this is the option here.
I think it is worth the money and time if one is truly dedicated to a life of dance. My daughter has a passion for ballet but she also likes having a more open schedule. As it is she dances 3 days a week for 1.5 hours and more during rehearsals. It's a good fit for dd and her teacher is a former pro so it's a a legit classical studio but not necessarily pre-pro. There is nothing wrong with going the pre-professional route for someone who doesn't necessarily dream of a life as a dancer, but just be prepared for lots of time and money committed to dancing.
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We decided early on that dd wasn't going to dance professionally, so we chose a dance studio in our small town when she was 5. She is a natural and strong dancer, so when we moved to a major metropolitan area two years ago, we seriously considered a Russian ballet academy, but after watching the documentary film First Position, dd realized that she likes ballet as a hobby but not as a life. We enrolled her in another small town studio where she gets a lot of love and support and she has some responsibility as a teacher's assistant. She still watches First Position frequently and has not changed her mind. I would only go with a serious classical ballet academy if you have a dancer who wants to be committed to dance as a lifestyle.
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We do our studies where we feel like doing them. The majority of seat work happens at the dining table, but sometimes it's on the couch in the living room and sometimes dd does it on her bed. She does computer based work in the office on the desk top because she is no longer allowed to use the laptop after dropping and breaking it not once, but twice. We also do work at the library and at coffee houses which is what I like to do the most. I would love to have a dedicated study with built in bookshelves and comfy big chairs but we don't have a spare room for that in our 3 bed 2 bath house. Our living room does have some built ins and that is where the piano is, so I like to do our studies in there, especially in winter (I dunno why).
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I used to fly to China for under $600 round trip with open ended return. In 2005 my ex's one way ticket was $300. Now it's a deal to find anything under $2000 roundtrip.
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Using your specs in my town yields 2 houses. They are significantly larger for the square footage but newer and on an acre. They are both listed for $1,265,000. There is one house that is older with a lot of deferred maintenance and only 2600 sqft going for $560,000.
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Since you mentioned shops, I recommend Agia Sophia Harrisburg coffee if you're anywhere nearby. Have a fun trip! http://agiasophiaharrisburg.com/
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How would you approach this conversation with Sensei? Focus on this particular issue (and how?) Other issues as well? I don't want to burn bridges either. Considering the utter lack of options. Plenty of Taekwondo here, but DH is really against our kids doing it and find it "rougher" in general.
Most dojos have policies in place for maintaining safety. Traditionally any injury experienced by the lesser ranked student is the responsibility of the higher rank, particularly if the partner or uke is a black belt. If your child is sustaining injuries while working with a higher ranked uke, then the sensei should address control with the students to avoid such injuries. I would ask him about his policies and when and how they are enforced when I mention my child's injury.
In DZR, any injury or pain is brought to the instructor's attention immediately. The instructor will then use it as a teaching moment and demonstrate how to do the technique with control. Also, all black belts in DZR must learn restorative massage, a skill that is used to help injured students, so it is quite common to see sensei apply icy hot or tiger balm and massage the affected area right there in class. I'm not sure if Aikido has the same tradition, but it's worth asking.
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Is there a judo club near you? If not, I would look into Dan Zan Ryu jujitsu to see if you have a dojo near by. DZR is different than Aikido but it wouldn't be too drastic of a change. You could also look into Shotokan Karate. There has to be something other than TKD.
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@TianXiaXueXiao: thank you. We do love Aikido and its philosophy, but we have only one dojo available to us, and it is only once a week (and I and the kids wish it were at least twice a week, or even 3 times). The dojo doesn't have any typical red flags that you mention. It seems the model of proper.
I started to dislike the Sensei because he is rather arrogant and boastful. He doesn't model humility. He talks about life lessons and values and most of the talks are really good, but some are a bit...strange...but maybe not important. Like he lectured them on nutrition, and his advice was way off. But that's minor.
With a number of little irritations the big one (for me, and please tell me if I'm overreacting) came when DS was 30 seconds late for the line up. All three kids of mine came 20 minutes before the class, changed, and started carrying the mats into the dojo area. Then they joined other kids running and playing in the dojo before the class, and DS ran to use the bathroom. He entered the dojo when the class was called to line up, and he attempted to run to his usual spot in the line (as he's seen others do in many previous instances in the past). Sensei told him he was late and needed to wait in the corner. I was mostly fine with that. It happened to be the day when Sensei decided to crack down on those who were late, and DS was late. Sure, the rules seemed to somewhat change, but it was all very reasonable.
However, Sensei then proceeded to lecture the class on being late, and told DS that he should not have spent so much time getting changed, and he should have been carrying the mats with his siblings and the other kids.
This to me felt very unfair, because obviously Sensei didn't notice that DS was present for carrying the mats. I think he should not have lectured DS infront of everyone for taking too much time for changing and stating that DS didn't participate in the mat carrying.
If it were any other activity, like dance, or gymnastics, I would've talked to the teacher. But I sometimes feel that martial arts is something almost mythical, and they live by their own rules and maybe this is how they instill some particular value that I'm not aware of. To me, the way this was handled, wasn't graceful. But maybe I'm missing something.
This said, I saw DS (11) fighting tears for most of the class, and I was proud of him for not crying (he cries easily). Then he got hurt in a technique and was about to start crying (I was watching his face) and his older sister told him to step out of the class, which he did.
Another concern that I have is that my kids tend to be hurt in class by careless partners. Younger kids who don't pay attention, and who are shorter than mine, will put mine in an awkward position, remain there for a long time, and then not do things right, and my kids have joint aches etc after classes. Normal?
And some older students throw way too hard, and mine get hurt, and this is not "noticed."
Is this typical "martial arts" thing? Something to just "suck it up"?
Or some classes they'll get a helper assigned, who is an orange belt (Adult) and who has no clue how to explain things, and they have to deal for an hour with him, in their small group. So is this on purpose for them to learn patience?
I'd love to hear that I'm overreacting! Seriously! Because we dont' have many options here, and I guess ours is decent, because in my gut feeling I also like "traditional", and they are doing Yoshinkan Aikido, and the dojo is run well (Except the arrogant Sensei lol).
I agree with you that once a week is not enough. How long is the class? If it's 3 hours long then I guess it would do but it's still not optimal.
An arrogant martial arts teacher is not acceptable. A martial arts teacher (any teacher) that will publicly shame a student is not acceptable. It is fine to publicly enforce mat rules/etiquette and consequences but not to call the student out for the other things you mentioned.
That wouldn't sit right with me, at all.
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I am not a fan of designer martial arts programs, so what you describe would not appeal to me. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to martial arts, so take whatever I say with a grain of salt.
I love Aikido, but you have to have a good school that's affiliated and a sensei with a clearly traceable lineage and pedigree. In my home town there was an Aikido school taught by an unaffiliated sensei who promoted himself to black belt in order to open a dojo. He had a lot of "special techniques" that he made up. These were serious red flags to me.
There was another thread recently where I listed the big red flags and I can reiterate the main ones here.
Watch out for schools that hand out black belts to young children. I would avoid any school that promotes anyone under age 15 to black belt.
In a similar vein, beware of McDojos that are focused on testing and promotions every x number of weeks or months and have a cost structure associated with the texting regimen. I have never paid for a test or promotion in any style, but there might be a fee associated for nationally recognized black belt in the American Judo and Jujitsu federation.
Watch out for senseis that demand respect but never show it to others. A good sensei will model good behavior.
You want a school that places responsibility on the student to be a good citizen both in and out of the dojo. This may be reflected in proper dojo and mat etiquette with doing bows or reis before and after engagement with partner, formal class, etc.
The dojo should be clean, safe, and free of any foul odors with plenty of room to accommodate class size and training exercises.
I hope that helps.
What is the Aikido sensei doing that concerns you?
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(((TianXiaXueXiao))) You sound much healthier than me! That's fantastic you're able to be and are dedicated to being so active. I haven't excersised pretty much for years (and years).
There are soo many different ways to loses weight, it's overwhelming. I feel you there. Please let us know how and if we can help and what you decide!
I am battling thyroid hormone deficiencies and have extremely low metabolism. I'm currently weighing in at 185 lbs and wear a Size 10-12. I think I need to eliminate more carbohydrates, drink more water, and start lifting weights but I recently injured my back and I'm afraid of making matters worse. I would appreciate any and all encouragement. Thanks!
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I am really enjoying Marvel's Daredevil. It's excellent.
Introduction
in Exploring Orthodox Christianity
Posted
May God grant you good strength on your Lenten journey to the Empty Tomb and to your Chrismation! Glory to God!