wendyroo
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Posts posted by wendyroo
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One of my biggest questions is why not teach the "high frequency" words as you learn to read them with phonics? If you've been taught to combine 3-sounds into a word and can decode words like: "Big Dog Can run fast." then why should we have to go and teach you to see each word instantly and say it? I don't understand why some of the kids I know between the age of 3 and 7 are flicking through stacks of flash cards
While I don't have my son flipping through a stack of flash cards, I do teach him a few words as sight words when he encounters them in books. In his case, I did this to avoid introducing the phonics of long vowels (or secondary consonant sounds) until he could solidly sound out short vowel words with simple consonants and blends.
He was a young reader; he started asking what a ton of things said right before his third birthday. He already knew all the letters and one sound that corresponded to each - the most common consonant sound and the short vowels. I demonstrated how to blend sounds together to sound out CVC words and he was off.
We read all sorts of books together - he reads what he can and I read everything else. As he asks about other words sometimes I explain the phonics and sometimes I don't. He asked about zoo and I happily explained the oo sound. He asked about see and I explained ee. As he asked about fish, then and chip I explained those digraphs. However, until very recently I was not ready to introduce long vowels, so when he asked about me, a go, etc. I did not delve into open syllables or any phonics rule, I just told him how to pronounce the words and over time he learned them by sight. Same with the word gem...he pronounced it with the hard g, I told him that actually that word said gem and pronounced it correctly and then I moved us right along. The last thing I want to do it muddy the waters at this early stage in the game by telling him that g makes two sounds when really there aren't many soft g words he needs to worry about for the time being.
I am a strong proponent of phonics and my son and I are working our way through Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading so he will learn all the phonics rules...but, I don't think he needs to know them all right now. Personally, I don't think it does any harm for him to pick up some words (a, go, he, to [as opposed to too which makes perfect sense to him]) as sight words for now and then revisit them when he learns the necessary phonics to see why they are pronounced as they are.
Just my opinion based on limited personal experience,
Wendy
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Her morning nap needs to be much earlier, babies will fight sleep when they are exhausted.
I agree completely. At 10 months I have my kids on a 2-3-4 schedule: 2 hours awake between morning waking and first nap, 3 hours awake between naps and 4 hours awake between second nap and bedtime.
Since she is waking so early I would probably try to modify that a bit, but I would still get her down for her morning nap by 8:30 or so. Then down for her afternoon nap around 1.
Wendy
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How do you score the NRRF test?
My son is 4.5 years old (eligible to start K next fall).
On the NRRF test he read section A with 1 error and section B with 2 errors. He made it to the end of the fourth line of section C and made his fourth error on the word race. I stopped at that point, but on the following line he would not have known chose, cage or mice.
On your test he read 13 words and I stopped when he missed the last three words in section 2 and was getting frustrated.
Wendy
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I also am having a hard time sending you a PM.
I would be interested in your craft box. Would it be possible to get 2 sets of the craft materials shipped together for a slightly reduced price?
Thanks,
Wendy
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Since your ds is only 4 you have another choice. Hands on math! Just forget the idea of the workbooks when they are young and play. Family Math, Peggy Kaye's Math Games, Scholastic Math Games, Pinterest boards, Montessori activities, manipulatives etc.
And Miquon! I'm finding that when they are young that's really all they need.
I hadn't planned to do any work books with him as a preschooler - just read alouds and living math and nature walks, etc. But I've found that he thrives on workbooks; I was the same way as a child. He is an anxious kid who loves routine and knowing exactly what is expected of him. Miquon makes him nervous because it doesn't clearly spell out what to do and how to do it. I would just drop school work for the time being, but that is his time to shine. Socially and emotionally he struggles all day. His gross motor skills lag behind even his 2 year old brother. But, academically he excels and I want him to feel successful.
1A has adding/subtracting across tens mentally, which isn't in Essentials. Similarly, 1B has adding/subtracting across tens with numbers within 100.
Other than that, 1 is a repeat of K. Those mental math bits are the big deal thing of grade 1, so if you skip grade 1, you'll want to make sure you cover the mental math techniques, as each year will build on them.
Grade 1 math in general tends to be easy for kids who figure math out on their own. It's ok to skip ahead as needed. Just make sure you hit those mental math techniques (Education Unboxed has some good videos for that).
After reading the replies and several old threads I've concluded that the skills you mention are exactly what DS should be working on. I've ordered 1A and 1B texts and workbooks and the Process Skills in Problem Solving 1 book. We are going to do the more challenging topics in Essentials B until the new books arrive and then we are going to start in 1A moving at his pace while focusing on mental math and a rock solid understanding of place value.
Thank you all for your replies.
Wendy
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My son (4.5 years) just finished Essentials A. It was very easy for him and he often completed a dozen pages in 10 minutes and would still want to do more. The only thing that slowed him down is that he can not proficiently write the numbers, but I would often have him write the first couple and then I would scribe the rest.
We have started Essentials B (finished the first unit) and it is still well below his level. He can easily count to 100, he knows 75% of his number bonds within 10 (addition easily and subtraction if he thinks about it for a few seconds), he can reliably tell if a number is even or odd, we have drawn decimal street (but with rocket ships) and he knows how to place Cuisenaire rods to represent three digit numbers, he can tell you that 82 is bigger than 76 and that to measure 2/3 cup of water you need to fill the 1/3 measuring cup twice.
I'm a bit confused because I look at the Essentials scope and sequence and it covers things like time and fractions and numbers up to 40, but then I look at 1A and it only covers comparing sets and numbers up to 30.
I also have the Orange and Red Miquon books and I have been trying to incorporate those, but he is not a big fan; he likes the predictability for the workbooks. I will continue to include pages periodically.
I think I have 4 choices:
1 - Just keep going in order knowing much of the next two books will be very easy.
2 - Do the units of Essentials B that look interesting while waiting for 1A to come in the mail and start there.
3 - Do the units of Essentials B that look interesting while waiting for 1B to come in the mail and start there.
4 - Order CWP 1 and complete those to keep things interesting while working through Essentials B and 1A.
Or maybe something else I haven't thought of...
What do you think?
Thanks,
Wendy
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When my second son started speech (he was 2.5), I also had a four year old and a four month old. She was with us almost two years, and came twice a week. She played with all the boys every session. :) I can't imagine that's an unusual dynamic. I would stay in the room usually, and make sure the other two weren't too disruptive, but the ST really treated it like a family session. Just my experience, FWIW.
Yep, this is exactly the dynamic at our house. The speech therapist comes to work with my 2.25 year old and the 4.5 year old and 3 month old are included in the sessions. I love it because the 4.5 year old is also in speech therapy (out of the home sessions with a different therapist) so I like him getting a bit of extra support and reinforcement during his brother's sessions.
Half the time the therapist has a theme in mind for the session (Halloween, farm animals, the /b/ sound, etc) and she brings toys, books and activities that are the appropriate level for the toddler, review for the preschooler and, obviously, an unreachable challenge for the 3 month old. :laugh: But, between she and I, we can always find a way to include them all.
The other half of the sessions she likes to coach the toddler in normal family activities. For those sessions I plan activities that require the older boys to share and request things from each other and the adults. For example, a sticker craft that the adults keep control of the stickers and the kids have to ask for the ones they want or making muffins where the kids have to negotiate who will add what ingredients, whose turn it is to stir, etc. The therapist says the whole point of these sessions is helping the toddler negotiate daily interactions with the few words he has.
Wendy
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There is no number answer. Or, I guess it is more accurate to say there are many possible number answers.
3x = 5y
Without more information it is impossible to determine what number is equivalent to 3x.
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A new ironing board cover and a subscription to Pandora One.
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Sounds like he's in the scribbling stage of art/writing development. I would stop giving him the workbook pages, honestly.
Stages of Art/Writing--
1. Random marks
2. Purposeful marks
3. Random scribbling
4. Circular scribbling
(At this point, art dev and writing diverge. Writing continues with
5. LInear scribble (intent is writing, not drawing)
6. Random letter forms (not actual letters, but separate shapes child is using to write letter approximations)
7. Linear letter forms (again,not necessarily actual letters)
8. Random (actual) letters
9. Linear letters
Stages overlap and flow back and forth from time to time.)
Art development goes thru stages, too--be on the lookout for a cross-shape (it's the beginning of drawing people) coming soon.
My oldest son laughs at those stages.
He did make random marks...probably about a dozen marks total in his first 3.5 years of life. He just hated writing implements of all types - markers, chalk, pencils, pens, crayons, colored pencils. He had no use for them no matter how or how often I offered or modeled. He loved art, but only if it involved painting or gluing or playdoh, etc.
And then, at age 3.5, he skipped stages 2 through 8 and began writing in perfectly legible, neatly formed lines of capital letters. His pencil grip is perfect. His stamina is age appropriate. He is determined to start almost all letters from the bottom...we're working on altering that habit.
He still HATES to color. If his Singapore workbook says to color 5 bugs he will just dot each of them with a crayon and not even seemed concerned if no wax is left behind and therefore there is no color on them at all. However, ask him to put an X on 5 bugs or put an O around 5 bugs or even number 5 bugs 1-5 and he will happily and neatly do so with a pencil.
Since I do think coloring is a skill, so I got the Kumon Coloring Book that offers explicit coloring practice. It shows a solid colored object with a small white space that the child is supposed to make match the surroundings. DS whines, complains and struggles with even this level of coloring, but we slowly persevere.
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I have three children who are all good sleepers. In general they start sleeping 12 hours at night (7pm to 7am) between 4 and 6 months old. The older two nursed until just before their second birthdays (the youngest is only 3 months now) and weaned themselves as I entered the third trimester of pregnancy.
I nudge my babies onto a flexible routine pretty earlier. I make sure they are getting full feedings, I put them down for naps (swaddled and awake) before they seem tired and if they wake after only a short catnap I see if I can gently convince them to sleep a bit longer by giving them a pacifier or putting them in their swing. During the day I wake them to eat at the 2.5 to 3 hour mark and cluster feed in the late afternoon and evening.
We have used similar nap and bedtime routines since the kids were babies. While I'm not opposed to a few minutes of fussing, even that was sporadic. My 3 month old goes down for three naps (each 1.5 to 2 hours) a day in his crib with no crying and sleeps in my arms for a fourth catnap during the witching hour. My 2 and 4 year olds each hear a story before naps and nights and then I tuck then in and leave the room and they fall asleep without complaint.
We are consistent in our routines and show respect for the kids' sleep needs by almost always being home when they need to nap or be in bed.
Wendy
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My 4 year old is very proud he can make jiffy corn muffins pretty much by himself - we just have to put the muffins in and out of the oven and ignore any egg shells we find in them. He makes ants on a log. He helps layer lasagna. With a lot of supervision he can pour pancake batter onto a griddle and flip the pancakes - I give him a 1/4 cup measuring cup to pour from so the pancakes end up small and easier to flip. He can mix mayo and relish into tuna. He can make nachos - he lays out scoop tortilla chips on a cookie sheet and spreads pulled pork or chicken and shredded cheese over them and I put the sheet in the oven. He makes two (or more) ingredient breakfast cookies. If I let it cool enough he can shred pork or chicken from the crock pot. He can make fruit salad - he likes washing the fruit and then using a knife to cut up melon, bananas, strawberries, oranges that I've already peeled, ripe pears that I have already cored, etc.
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I'm trying to convince DH to take the money we have been using for preschool and using it to buy a membership to the YMCA which we toured last year and looks fabulous (and his work has an agreement such that membership is 50% off). If we went two days a week I could exercise for an hour while the baby napped in a swing in the nursery area and the bigger boys were in the day care area playing with other kids and doing what looked like fantastic, developmentally appropriate crafts and activities and then I could grab the two bigger boys and give them an hour to play in the pool or gym while the baby stayed in the nursery.I think you have gotten some helpful advice on this thread.
I just want to offer one thought - if you decide that preschool is not benefitting your son, could you use the money you are spending on the preschool to hire a mother's helper or babysitter to watch Peter while you spend some time with your other 2, and/or watch your other 2 while you spend some time with Peter? That might give you the break you need, while not overstimulating Peter.
DH argues that the way I am describing it sounds idyllic, but that in reality it would be still be stressful and Peter would still be frustrating. I agree to some extent, but think that nothing ventured nothing gained. Maybe it would work better, even just a little bit better. At the very least it would let me fit in some exercise (which I hope would improve my mood and outlook) and give me a short break from all the kids which I almost never get because DH is reluctant to watch all three at a time due to Peter's behavioral challenges and the baby being...well, a baby.
Wendy
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I'd be concerned too.......... It sounds like both parents are stressed out, as they both seem to find the child to be overwhelming, and in the OP's words a "Pain". It sounds like the whole family needs help. Having a child with autism, I understand the overwhelm but a child should not feel that his parents or siblings find him to be overwhelming or a pain; I hope the OP and dh are hiding these feelings they have from Peter. School sounds like a place where people view him positively. I would not remove him from school; I'd change other things to make getting to school easier.
We are overwhelmed, I'm not denying that. We love Peter, but a lot of days we don't like him very much. He cries for several hours every day. Cries because we give him the wrong color cup which he chose 5 minutes ago and was the right color cup the day before, but now when it is presented to him it is cause for hysterical sobbing. Cries because I won't let him tear a book to shreds though I do offer scrap paper or a magazine for his tearing pleasure, but that doesn't stop the crying. Cries because it is his younger brother's turn to choose the first book to be read - a turn that will take 5 minutes at most and yet by the time it is Peter's turn he is so distraught he can't listen to the book he chose. Cries because Nana is not available to talk on the phone right that second. Cries because it is foggy outside. Cries because his nose is running. Just cries and cries and cries all day. It is so draining and depressing and grates on every nerve in my body.
I'm not sure I know what you mean in your other post by neither DH nor I being realistic. We are trying our very hardest and we certainly have Peter's best interest at heart, but he is our oldest and although we have both read tons of parenting books espousing various theories, we are still inexperienced and just doing the best we can.
I agree that our (and especially DH's) attitude toward Peter is a major issue - it can be very negative. OTOH, sometimes Peter's behavior is so negative that responding in any other way seems ridiculous and inconsistent. In the space of 10 minutes this morning Peter threw a ball at the computer, pushed Elliot off a stool, burst into tears over being served, not forced to eat, just served, apples (which he loves) with his breakfast, and purposefully smeared peanut butter all over his shirt when he was just asked not to and we were trying to get out the door to take him to his preschool field trip that he was ostensibly looking forward to. To me, it seems DH harps on Peter for everything, but DH says I let too many things go - sometimes I think he is right because in the spirit of keeping anything positive I sometimes pretend not to notice when Peter does something that I would never let Elliot (who is 2 years younger) get away with. Otherwise, though, it seems like I would constantly be disciplining Peter and I worry he would get the message that he never does anything right.
Please be gentle. We're trying our best. We have sought out help and are trying get Peter the therapy and services he needs, but they are not always easy to find or qualify for and we do have to work somewhat within a budget. the psych evaluation alone was $600 out of pocket and that did not lead to any concrete diagnoses or suggestions for how to deal with Peter on a day to day basis. I just want us to find a way to survive day to day and be able to enjoy Peter for who he is without constantly being at odds with each other.
Thank you for your thoughts,
Wendy
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Have you had a full workup to determine what his issues are? He sounds very much like my middle son who had lots of sensory issues. He was explosive and angry all the time. I was overwhelmed at the enormity of his emotional volatility while trying homeschool an elementary-aged kid and care for a newborn. We got OT therapy for his sensory issues and he became a different kid. But, it meant really working his sensory stimulation exercises at home very diligently for about 6 months before we started to see success.
I agree that preschool is not meeting his needs. You can try to do a co-operative preschool with a couple of other families rather than sending him to a stressful environment and create more chaos in your home.
I'm not sure what constitutes a full workup. He was evaluated by a psychologist at the Behavioral Pediatrics unit of the children's hospital. The evaluation lasted about 2.5 - 3 hours. The psychologist wrote up a 5 page report which detailed the evaluation and offered the "diagnosis" of anxiety NOS, and OCD and autistic tendencies (but no true diagnosis of OCD or ASD).
The psychologist did ask about sensory issues, but since Peter has no issues getting his teeth brushed or his hair combed, likes playing with play dough and shaving cream, has never complained about any clothing issues or food texture issues, etc he didn't think that was a major contributor to the behavior problems.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Wendy
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Is there an afternoon preschool class that would be an option? It would give you more time in the morning to get everyone up and dressed and out the door.
I actually think he needs to be napping most afternoons. Over the summer he slept during rest time about 5 days a week. Currently, on preschool and speech therapy days he comes home a jittery, overstimulated mess and spends rest time tossing, turning, rocking and loudly yelling/chanting in his bed even if I spend 45ish minutes reading to him beforehand to try to calm him down. On Tuesdays, Saturdays and Sundays, however, we are home all day and if I make sure to give him ample exercise and mental stimulation in the morning he conks out for an hour and a half in the afternoon and is still ready to go to bed at 8pm. I think his emotional issues really take a toll and he needs a lot of rest and sleep to give him time to calm down...but, those same issues make it hard for him to get that rest when he starts to overload.
Wendy
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Would it be possible for your husband to be the one to get him to preschool in the morning? That would ease up on the stress it is causing you and he would be happy that Peter was still going.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, my husband works an early schedule. He leaves the house at 7am which means there is no way he could do drop off, but he gets home at 4:30 to help with before dinner chaos so that is a great benefit.
Wendy
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I am feeling very conflicted and hope some more experienced moms can offer their perspectives...
My eldest son, Peter (4.5 years), is a challenging kid. He goes to counseling to work on anger and anxiety issues and has a very hard time at home regulating his emotions and controlling his impulses - primarily hitting and kicking when scared or upset and impulsive pushing, grabbing, destructive throwing, etc. It is very stressful for the whole family (me, DH, Peter and his 2 year old and 2 month old brothers).
Last school year, DH heavily lobbied for sending Peter to preschool. DH is fully on board with homeschooling our kids, but Peter was being SUCH a pain that we were desperate to do something to help the situation and DH thought at the very least it would give me a break from Peter twice a week. I held out for half the year and then we started Peter at preschool in February right before his fourth birthday. The best way to describe the remainder of that year was lackluster. He didn't like school, but he didn't dislike it. He didn't misbehave there, but he also didn't engage with the teacher or other kids. We did not see much change in his behavior at home.
This fall we decided to enroll Peter in the same program (new teacher, now 3 days a week). Again, I don't think school is negatively affecting Peter, but I also don't think he is gaining much from it. It is, however, adding a HUGE amount of stress to our lives. It starts at 8:30 and even with clothes laid out, everything ready to go, etc., it still takes lots of yelling and bribing to get the three kids fed, dressed and out the door in time. Along with preschool both the older kids also have speech therapy one day a week and that is more time we are away from home. It feels like I am constantly pushing the kids to move faster - no time to linger over breakfast, no time to spontaneously sit down and read stories, hardly any time to play outside since we go straight from preschool or speech therapy to eating lunch to rest time to getting dinner on the table. Rush, rush, rush.
My mixed feeling arise from not knowing what will best serve Peter and our whole family. I guess that's parenting. I think it does do him good to play with his peers and the goal is for him to observe other kids not being scared of The Hungry Caterpillar, not melting down over having their noses wiped, etc. But, a part of me, I guess my mom instinct, says that maybe what he most needs is to be drawn in close to me. Maybe being "sent away" to school is just too unsettling for him right now and instead he needs us to hunker down and strengthen the bonds within the family and try to start enjoying each other more.
DH doesn't want to pull Peter out of preschool. He is very frustrated with Peter...almost constantly whenever they are together...and thinks that the socialization of preschool will "fix" him. I agree that Peter's behavior is often atrocious, incomprehensibly stubborn and self sabotaging, maddeningly hostile and argumentative, etc. I just wonder if the answer might not be staying home most of the time, tomato staking, slowing down and taking the time to help him process his emotional outbursts, lots of exercise and time outside, a more healthy diet without the crappy snacks they feed him at school, and removing the stress and over stimulation of school (he comes home almost vibrating with tension - unable to calm himself enough to eat, focus on a story, take off his shoes or wash his hands without a tantrum or get the rest/sleep he desperately needs). But that scenario doesn't offer much peer interaction and maybe that would be detrimental...and maybe even doing all that won't lead to positive changes in his behavior...and without Peter going to school my younger sons won't get any breaks from his abuse and hysterics...
I'm conflicted and would love any opinions and insights you might have to offer.
Thanks,
Wendy
UPDATE:
Well, on Monday the preschoolers took a field trip to the farm. On Monday afternoon all I heard from Peter is that he sat with the assistant teacher on the bus because he didn't want to sit with the other kids. Monday night he elaborated that he also hung out with the assistant teacher at the farm because he didn't want to go by the animals or ride the hayride with the other kids.
Then this morning Peter told me that sometimes at school the other kids said they didn't want to be friends with him and that is why he hadn't wanted to sit with them on the bus. He also stated that on the bus the teacher and assistant teacher were there and heard what the other kids said. I'm taking this with a grain of salt since he is only 4 and is often oblivious to whether other people are paying any attention to something. However, one of my husband's coworkers is the mother of twin boys in the class and she told my husband that her boys are reporting getting hit frequently by other kids and that they think the teacher sees what is happening, but that she doesn't do anything.
At pick up I hung back and asked the assistant teacher (the teacher was absent which is very common because she has a preschool age daughter in another school who is frequently sick) what she knew about the not wanting to be friends issue. She said they had never heard any talk like that, but would be watching. I asked what their strategy was if that issue arose and she said, "I don't know. I guess we would tell the child to stop saying that."
I've told my husband that we will be having a lengthy discussion about this over the weekend and coming to a decision. I told him I was compiling a list of positives for pulling Peter from that school and that if he wanted to keep Peter there he should have a strong list of positives for that position.
Thanks for listening,
Wendy
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My brother was a totem pole one year when he was a preteen. Now he is in his 20s and dressing up for Halloween parties and his two most recent costumes were Beakman and bait (he made a fishing hook out of a hanger that went "through" him and the hook was tied to a fishing line aka ribbon attached to a helium balloon).
Wendy
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My 4 year old son wants to be a super hero. Great. Wearing a shirt and pants made with lots of different greens and a yellow cape. Sure. With a hat and a belt and an eye mask and boots. Okay. And on his shirt he wants a clock. What? A clock with hands that move...I had to talk him down, at first he wanted the hands to move by themselves, now he is okay with them just being movable. And on his hat he wants his super hero name: Timer Rhymer.
At least I still have 2+ weeks to make that happen. Along with the 2 year olds request to be a light blue octopus.
Wendy
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It's really starting to sound like many students need a "bridge" year or something to help them transition from all the hand-holding in high school to college work.
Logically (and I know that logic has little to do with the public school system), doesn't it make more sense to just hand-hold less and less as the kids progress through high school?
Wendy
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And all this from the home of the Chanticleers. I would expect better from the English department of such a Chauceresque university! :tongue_smilie:
Wendy
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Unless you know what his living situation is going to be, I would not start collecting kitchen appliances and large items.
Why not set up a fund and give him money to buy his own stuff when he needs it? I guess I simply do not understand the rationale of collecting things the young person may or may not be able to use - as opposed to giving him the means to purchase the things.
I grew up in a society where hoarding stuff was necessary, because you could not go into a store and buy what you need when you need it. Since this is not the situation in the US: could you explain to me where the mindset comes from? I am not being snarky, just very curious, since it does not make sense to me.
A hope chest is an old concept; I always imagine Little House on the Prairie. While unmarried and living at home, a young woman would make things that she would need to start her own home after she married: primarily linens and clothes.
Cincinnati Convention with a Nursing Baby?
in The Chat Board
Posted
I would very much like to go to the Cincinnati convention this spring. My mom is willing to keep the kids (1, 2 or all 3 of them) for a few days so DH and I could go. Now I am trying to figure out the logistics of it; I have never been to any type of convention and don't really know the ins and the outs.
I live in Grand Rapids, so just over a 5 hour drive. When they say April 24-26, when on those days are they talking about? Is there a keynote speaker? When? When on Saturday do things wrap up? When do they announce who will be giving what seminars when?
I think I would be taking the baby (will be 9 months at convention time) with us because I would rather nurse at the convention then have to find a place to pump several times a day and then have to keep milk cold. Do they offer a nursing lounge or other accommodations? Is the convention center in an area that DH could take the baby for stroller rides around the surrounding areas and then just pop back so I could nurse him occasionally? How does parking work? Would DH be able to park for a few hours, then go back to the hotel for a few hours and then come back to the convention for a few more hours in the afternoon?
Anything else I haven't thought of? Can anyone share stories of how you managed a convention with an older baby?
Thanks,
Wendy