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Artichoke

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Posts posted by Artichoke

  1. Thanks for all of the good ideas.  The relationship is somewhat strained so I think he'd be more comfortable if he didn't go with us to choose.   Giving him cash isn't an option.    We'd really like something tangible to show him that we believe in him and his chosen career.   

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  2. If the little trinkets/toys are in great shape and fun to play with, I've donated to the local school and put some in operation Christmas child boxes. Smaller stuffed animals in good shape are appreciated by our local police dept. The offices usually keep a few in their trunks for dealing with kiddos. Goodwill also likes the trinkets for their grab bags.

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  3. We bought a hot tub about three years ago and use it several times a week.  Dh uses it almost daily to help him relax before bed.   It's outside on our deck and covered with a gazebo so we use it all year around.   Someone else mentioned the remote controlled candles.  We got a set of three at Aldi's a couple of weeks ago that we keep by the hot tub.  

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  4. We have greenish teal 1990's countertops that I'd like to replace.  It's not in the budget though.   What's helped soften them is to paint the walls a medium, neutral  gray.   It's one of the more popular Benjamin Moore colors, but I can't remember the name.  Then I made window valances with a really pretty dark gray material with a teal design and some other brighter colors mixed in.  I bought the material on sale at Joann's  Those two changes greatly updated our kitchen. 

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  5. Buy it, wrap it, and tell him, "you got me a purse for Christmas, Thank You!"

     

    That's what I have done for the past 25 or so years, and DH is always thrilled that he doesn't have to shop or think about what I might want.

     

     

    I can't go that far, but  have no problem with saying, " Dh, I'd like xyz for my b-day.  Is it okay with you if I pick it up? "   Usually, I buy it myself and then he has something small for me as well or a sweet card.    

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  6. I'd have said I'd really like the purse for my b-day and asked him purchase it then since it was at Nordstrom Rack and the stock changes quickly.   I used to hate doing this but have come to understand that dh isn't  good at hints or surprises.    He likes to buy things for me  but just doesn't think about it although he does bring me flowers and sometimes a magazine that he thinks I'll like.  

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  7. Hugs to you as you deal with this.   In case this ever goes to court, I'd take pictures of the room and note the date.  Then I'd pack up their belongings into boxes and take pics of the contents as well.   I'd give them a deadline  ( check your state laws ) for picking up the items or for you delivering them.  If I had the space, I'd probably continue to store the items even after the deadline.   FWIW, I like the idea of the weekly meal date.  It covers so many issues and still leaves the door open for them to see their dad.   Best wishes to you and yours~

     

  8. Now I have experienced quite a few instances where new homeschoolers ask about social, enrichment, and academic co-op options.They seem to expect to have a lot of choices. It's perfectly reasonable that they ask what's already available-anyone would, even old schoolers.   But it's when things are full or when they want something different than what's out there that I see the difference. I point out that they could come up with their own, advertise it, and run it.  I'm telling you, some are actually hostile in response.  I kid you not, I have heard them say things like, "But I don't have time to make my own group, I homeschool!"  Do they think the ones that already exist are created and run by people who don't homeschool!? Do they think "make your own" is a snarky reply?! That's when I think that kind of newbie (I know there are newbies who aren't like that. I spend time with them.) is very different than newbies that came before.

     

     

     

     

    I snipped this paragraph, because to me this is the main difference between "old school" homeschoolers and those who are newer to homeschooling.    

     

    If we wanted something to be available for our children, chances are we had to create it.  Sometimes that was a good thing, and sometimes the stressful work involved wasn't worth the return on our efforts.  I think we were/are sometimes a more confident bunch though because we were going against convention for what we believed was best.   We had to create because ready made options were few and far between.   Please don't equate this with me saying that new homeschoolers are not confident.   

     

    As homeschooling numbers grew,  we became an untapped market  --- some local governments wanted funding for our numbers and so did private entities.   I personally see this as where the  old vs new divide began.  Homeschooling became more mainstream and even popular in some circles.   Some of it excites me, and some of it doesn't.   I"m  happy to have access to quality online programs without sending my kids to college during their preteen years, but on the flip side I hate seeing pioneers like the Moores, Warings , and others not valued as much in today's market.  I'd recommend these authors for anyone homeschooling, even if you have no interest in homeschool philosophy.  Their perspective and wisdom have helped our family immensely along the journey.  

     

    As pp have said, the educational climate has changed so much over the years that more and more people are homeschooling because it's the best option that they have, not because they believe home education is the best option.   That's okay.   Hopefully, we're all in this for the best for our children.  As AZ MOM relates  we mentors/ old schoolers like to help, but we don't like being on the other end of the hostilities.   That's one reason that some of us don't want to stick around and volunteer.  Another belief that I hold is that we, like the pioneers who fought for homeschool freedom, are no longer needed in today's market.  We want to help in so many ways because we benefited so much from the relationships we formed.  I think that directly circles back to the reasons why we homeschooled, and why we want to help.  

     

     

    Just my .02!

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  9. Avocado toast!

     

     

    My grandsons like Avocado toast with their eggs.  We just spread the avocado on the toast like butter.   I like to half an avocado, crack an egg where the pit used to be, and broil it in the oven.   It makes a yummy dinner!

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  10. If only it were as easy as divorce :(

     

     

    https://www.salon.com/2016/12/11/custody-in-crisis-how-family-courts-nationwide-put-children-in-danger/

     

     

    "Nevertheless, the family court judge granted primary custody to Sawyer, warning Gill that if she wanted unrestricted visiting rights with her son, she had better quit talking with the boy about the alleged abuse by his father. What’s more, she had to stop taking her son to doctors to be examined for signs of abuse."

    I can't like this, but I have to agree divorce isn't always the answer. You NEVER know for sure how custody and visitation is going to work out until the judge actually rules. We had a case last summer where the judge was okay with the non-custodial parent giving peanut butter to an allergic child because it wasn't a life threatening allergy. She loved peanut butter and the custodial parent wouldn't give it to her. She'd come back to the program with swollen lips and sometimes hives. We couldn't believe it when the judge said it was okay. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.

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  11. We are also poor and buy meat without the bones.

     

     

     

    You've gotten lots of good replies.  I just want to address the cost issue.   Even if you spend more per pound for the meat with bones ( although the opposite has been my experience ), you'll still come out ahead making both in the crockpot overnight vs buying it by the box.   You might also want to check into buying beef bones.  Our expensive store has them for $2.99 a lb and the farmer's market for $2 a lb.    Ham bone stock alone isn't much to my family's liking, but I make it to freeze and use with water in beans.  It's a super cheap way to flavor foods for just a little money.  I'm also going to take a poster's advice upthread to ask for chicken bones at the butcher counter.  That's something I haven't thought of.   Best wishes as you find the best option for you!

     

    ETA:  When whole chickens are on sale, I have the meat dept cut them up for me, and then repackage them at home.  I put like pieces together, including backs, necks, and wings for stock.    They also cut the breasts off the bones, and I specifically ask them to give me the  bones.    There's no extra charge for this at Publix. 

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  12. Remembering way back to something I learned from a boardie (Sebastian, perhaps?): her institution found that the best predictor for success as an adult was teens who worked (held down a paying job) and at the same time excelled at their sports and academics. They had learned to self-manage and to use their time wisely.

     

    With that in mind, how about something like the following:

     

     - Your responsibility:  Set up a family calendar (poster-size dry erase calendar from an office supply store?) and put all the appointments, commitments, and events on it, so your kids will know when their time will be committed outside the home.  Your job: keeping it current. 

     

     - Their responsibility: to manage their chores in conjunction with the family calendar, and if there is a conflict, bring it to you ahead of time and propose a solution.

     

    Assign chores how-ever you think best, but make it their responsibility to work them into the schedule and get them done.

     

    Learning to flex and still manage tasks around the inevitable pop-ups is an essential life skill.  "I couldn't because...." is an unhealthy, unproductive way of thinking.

     

     

    ETA:  Several related items: 1) One of the things that we found most beneficial in our family was to have a family calendaring meeting at the dinner table once a week, usually on a Monday night.  That allowed the kids to bring up events that they wanted on the schedule, usually events with friends that we would not know of otherwise.  The benefit was that we had a few days to figure out how to manage the logistics.  Last minute things: you might or might not be able to get a ride.

     

    2) We also had a family rule that covered a multitude of situations:  "If plans change-- i.e., if the who, what, when, and where change from what we had agreed to while you were still at home--call."  Period. No exceptions. Don't text us; call, even if you know we're already in bed.  That rule -- one of the few hard and fast rules we had -- proved to be worth its weight in gold.

     

      We did pretty much the same thing.    We've used the More Time Moms calendar for years since it's got large daily blocks.  Chores were a simple spreadsheet posted on the fridge.  It had the rotating items like walking and feeding the dog, extra zone items ( ala Flylady ), and yard work.   We didn't have many unpredictable days since we had the "24 hour rule".  If you want to go and do something it needs to be on the calendar at least 24 hours in advance.  Most things were placed on the calendar at our weekly Thursday meeting.  We were somewhat flexible with that rule, but not much.  For example, dd calls from basketball game and asks to go to local place to eat -- okay.  Dd calls home from same game and asks to spend the night at someone's home -- no for a variety of reasons.  

     

    ETA:  When the kids were little we had chore times that were linked to other activities.  Bedroom chores before breakfast, pick-up before lunch and nap time, chore times after afternoon "tea"  and before dinner, then last pick-up of the day before bed.  It sounds like a lot, but the pick-up times were just a few minutes to put things back in their places.  

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