[What I wish I knew then . . .]

My son stumbled into professional sales on his own in junior college. It just lit him up. He went on to 4 year college to study advertising, with an eye towards advertising sales. Well, he's working now and knocking down good money.

 

In a recent discussion about his ADD, he informed me that all the top salesmen at his newspaper, "looked just like him". They're all ADD people. If I had known this in advance, we could have avoided a lot of worry and aggravation.

 

Moral; if your child has ADD, be SURE to expose him/her to sales somewhere. It may be a perfect fit. I'm telling you; this boy can sell, and America has good money for people who can sell. bk :D:D:D

[For those that don't consider music lessons optional...do you ever GIVE UP (violin)?!]

I always thought music lessons were to find the few who really have a feel for it, and develop their talents. Many will reach a "middling" level and not care to go further. What you may have is a student who can play and often fairly well, but is not gifted in this area. Let them move on to other pursuits. bk

[Has anyone here actually read the Chua's book "Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother"?]

If I had written that book and seen the public reaction to it, I would use the sarcasm excuse too. Anyone putting that much pressure on their children isn't being sarcastic about it. Read the book, it is not a parody. bk

[What would you title a book about raising your kids/parenting?]

Positive Parenting; The Way To Raise Successful Children

 

Really; It,s the only way to go.

 

bk

[Has anyone here actually read the Chua's book "Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother"?]

The most telling thing about Amy Chua from her book is that she admits choosing a law career "to please her father". Then she didn't like being a lawyer, left the firm, and became a professor. Now I'm not throwing any rocks at professors, but she needed to rethink this altogether.

 

She certainly didn't raise her daughters to "choose" a career that pleased them. More likely, they will choose what leases her, thereby making the same mistake. Were it not for her smugness about the superiority of Chinese moms, she might have seen this. But no, as readers we are left to recoil from her self proclaimed high and mighty principles.

 

bk

[Has anyone here actually read the Chua's book "Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother"?]

Chuas book on Tiger Moms is a prescription for crushing your childs will. This is seen the world over, and is fairly popular in Asian countries. In America, they are colloquially referred to as "ball busters"

 

The problem with this approach is that you only have to crush, or break their will one time. Once done, your child will NEVER get it back. Therapy may help, but won't bring their will back. Unfortunately, children of tiger moms tend to marry tiger wives, who become tiger moms. So the cycle continues.

 

This leaves your child unprepared to face the harsh realities of todays world. They need their will, and without it, they are adrift on the sea without a rudder. Will gives them the ability to 'push back' when neecessary. Yes, the will is a messy and difficult thing for parents to deal with, and crushing it makes for a docile child and a peaceful, orderly home. But the tiger mom doesn't have to pay the price. The child does, every day of their adult life.

 

If you think about it, you probably know an adult this has happened to. They are indecisive people who, when push comes to shove, always back down. They avoid confrontation at all costs, and fold when pressed. They are people pleasers, accomodaters and "yes men". Definitely not the end product you are lworking towards.

 

A superior approach, as claimed by Chua? No, it is child abuse of the most insideous variety. I do reccomend readig her book, so you will know what not to do. bk