mktkcb
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Posts posted by mktkcb
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Sent you back a PM :o).
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ok, after reading a bit more, it sounds like you've at least made her stick with stuff for awhile. Could I gently suggest you pick one thing (that you know she is definitely good at) and tell her she is in it for the long haul...like till she graduates? My son plays piano, and he is spd and routinely wants to quit when things are hard. I've told him he can quit when he finishes level 10 of certificate of Merit :o). Which should be about when he graduates HS (he is 13).
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not sure what you mean by ratchet....does that mean she wants to quit more things? ...... whine more? .....I don't know....2 can play that game LOL :o). Maybe you need to find out just exactly what it might take for her to decide "ratcheting" isn't such a great idea. I agree with all the others about volunteering also.
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All I can say is that I have a child like this, who compares herself to all manner of "others". She has always steadfastly refused to take piano because her younger brother was good at it...etc. I've done some of what you have. Separate "stuff". etc. I think you need to do some serious nagging and dragging. What's with the letting her quit thing? I'd be right there while she practiced making sure she was doing what she was supposed to. I'm with the other mom who advised finding an appropriate friend related consequence for this. My mantra with my perfectionistic son has always been "Nobody gives (or will give) a fig about how talented you are or whether you are the best at ANYTHING!!!! (picture me somewhat frustrated LOL) ALL THAT MATTERS is how hard you work!!!!! *smart* and *talented* people are EVERYWHERE, but there are not so many that can work hard. GRRRRRRR!!!!! (go give yourself a swirly dear child...)" Personally, I would tell her she cannot spend time with this family until her attitude changes. I might even tell her that her life is over until she changes her attitude. She seriously needs to get over herself. It has nothing to do with self esteem, but a lot to do with PRIDE, iykwim. Tell her she can feel however she darn well wants, but it better never come out her mouth or show in her behavior. But I'm mean :o). Lots of good positive ideas from others as well.
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Oh...forgot to say, S. CA. And if anyone lives in the Santa Clarita area, she is fabulous. Ring my bell, and I'll tell all. ...but there are quite a few good teachers around here :o).
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$30 per half hour, piano. Older lady (60's). Very very good teacher - has been head of MTA, Julliard trained, etc. I worship the ground she walks on to have put up with my somewhat musically gifted/SPD/quirky to the max 13yo for 6 going on 7 years LOL! worth her weight in gold :o).
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blessedly very little. Oldest dd 19 is at work till 9pm. Middle dd 17 is with a friend & good-male-friend (wink) at youth group, husband is doing accounting work at church (he is the treasurer), younger ds 13 is surfing the wii channels and supposed to be figuring out where I should take him tonight....he might want to go shopping with his allowance money....and we'll be having a "soda chat" about organizing his school year/responsability/how to best get work done. He's in 8th grade this year, and needs help in this area (spd...nuff said). Thats it. My house is a slowly improving wreck since we just got back from vacation a few days ago.
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Just a thought about the "music ought to be a joy, not an obligation...." I've had to think this through as well, and as I said, my son would have quit multiple times, but the reasoning I've stuck with, with him, is that yes, the learning is *hard work* - VERY hard work sometimes - but it is the path to FREEDOM......freedom to truly enjoy playing "anything you want to play". DS loves to sit down and just play....stuff he has heard by ear....miscellaneous easier repetoire...you name it. And he is free to do that, and enjoy doing it because he has put in the hard work of practicing. For years. With and without nagging/dragging/blood/sweat/tears. Sometimes they have to be forced to do some of the hard work before they can truly enjoy for themselves the results. I guess what I mean is....success begets success...and some kids need a little dragging to get them to the success at first. Sometimes you have to be pushed a bit through the "obligation" to be able to see the "joy". I'll bet there are more adults than not that were pushed a bit to learn music that are glad their parents did so. Just my 2c.
Kayleen
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Yes, but my son is musically gifted. I say I *make* him take lessons because he also struggles to a degree with SPD, and although he is quite addicted to playing music, the associated rigor/discipline/focus is hard for him. He's just a kid that goes through lots of ups and downs with *everything*. He's have quit long ago if I let him. Not an option. I told him he has to take lessons until he finishes level 10 of certificate of merit :). At that point he will be able to do whatever he wants in any music related area. It is to his benefit to stick it out and see things through, and it is to my benefit to make him do so, although I want rip his head off occasionally :). BTW, he has been taking since age almost 8, and he is almost 14 now and doing level 7 CM. There are many many side benefits that I won't go into - both physically/motor skill wise and maturity wise.
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I would get a nikon coolpix of some variety. Canons are good too. At least 5x zoom, wide angle (down to 27-25 mm if possible) for great landscape/family pic shots, and hd movie would be nice.
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ooooo, I like you Danestress. yeah, what she said.
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Oh baby, a similar boy lives in my house LOL. OK, here goes. You need to get creative here. Principle 1: Every kid has his currency - make sure you know your son's, and use it to advantage. 2: make consequences fit crimes. OK, so *all* of the above is happening.....son starts whistling....first you very calmly ignore the whistling and say in a regular voice "I want you downstairs with no whistling, and I'm timing you....the number of seconds it takes you to stop whistling and get down to the couch will be the number of days you go without X" (make a list for yourself....refer to it often...if you can't remember, say 'something you value very much', and think of it later. Then calmly walk away, and keep track of the time. Ball's in his court. If he loses "X" for a year....well thats his problem, he should have listened. Once he is on the couch, you can let him stew in silence while you come up with appropriate logical consequences (yes, on top of whatever he loses for being slow)....doing chores for the siblings he picked on, making his brother's bed himself, whatever. A nice little twist that I have used for about the last year or so with my son is to throw in the requirement of a certain number of "yes mom"'s before he gets "X" back as well. My reasoning to him? If you don't give me "yes mom" willingly, then I guess you need some enforced practice. Consequences with practice of the desired behavior built right in :o). As to what privileges to remove, or consequences to give....you know your kid. The key is, there is no reason why you should have to think of the consequences on the spur of the moment. Give yourself time to beeeee creeeeeaaaaativvvvve....yaahaahaa (evil laugh....). Really.....my son knows that he does NOT want mom to be creative. Make sure he knows....the longer he takes to be in a cool off spot, the greater his loss. Oh, and also make sure there is apologies to offended parties as part of the bargain.....NOT "sorry" in a sullen voice, but "I was wrong to do "X", will you forgive me?" For the record, revokable privileges in my house include but are not limited to: fun food, a bed to sleep on (sleeping on the kitchen/patio/tile for a certain number of days is no fun), any screens, any favorite toys or gadgets, friends....you get the idea. You know......"If you can't treat your brother with respect, then you don't get to be with friends"....that sort of thing. OK, scenario #2. Stuff like this becomes a certain amount of "yes mom"'s (for my son, "yes mom"'s mean AUTOMATIC loss of ALL SCREENS till he has given me a certain number of them happily), plus maybe extra of whatever it was that made him grumpy. They also need to know what your priorities are. If it is more important to you to ignore him, "take it", or react verbally but not really hit him where it hurts, then he will know it. Deep down, they need to know that they are more important than any other agenda.....even if tough consequences are how they learn you care. If my son says "I don't care", I tell him..."I know you don't, that's why God gave you a mom to care *for* you". I regularly tell my son, "you know, it's really important to me that you grow up to be a real MAN, someone who is ....... I will take as long as necessary dealing with you because that is more important than my dishes or laundry, or whatever"
Now, I'll say that I'm in this for the long haul because my son has sensory issues, is EXTREMELY strong willed, incredibly intense, and struggles greatly with self control. There is NO magic bullet. Some days he gets it, other days are ....um....very difficult. Some kids are just hard. Hang in there. BE CREATIVE :o).
Kayleen
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Not only boring, but utterly useless. All it does is repeat almost verbatim what is in the book. Who needs that if you have the book??? Can they not make a dvd that actually *explains* the book? Elucidates....amplifies...? and boring to boot....but I said that already.
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Oldest to youngest, 5,4, and 3. they are now 19,17, and 13, and the one who learned to read the earliest dislikes reading the most overall. So there you go. But he's a boy with a few minor spd issues, so ....... figures.
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ok, I'll bite...my "town" is actually a city (200-250,000 pop, but a very nice one). The big flaw is the cost of living and housing, but this is where God has put us, so we deal with that aspect. What I love:
mountains all around (I think flat landscape would be boring)
well run city government (lots of improvements going on all the time)
Fantastic Parks & Rec department - tons of classes of all kinds for reasonable prices, lots of beautiful parks
amazing trail system that runs through many of the housing tracts, and along almost all the major roads/dry riverbeds.
Lots of homeschoolers around
Great Community College 10 min away
wonderful church 5 min away
Mom and Dad live 5 min away (with whom dh and I have a great relationship)
Beaches within 45 min drive
nice weather most of the year, no humidity (we do deal with brush fires during dry season, tho)
great hiking trails/rural areas 5-10 min away
Interesting history (I know....a little weak, but I love that aspect as well)
Plenty of shopping/restaurants etc., without the huge big city feel
btw....I live in Santa Clarita CA about 30 miles N of Los Angeles. Other than the cost of living, it is a great place to live.
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Ha! did you read the part about Starbucks receipts not containing the bad stuff? Does this mean I can go to Starbucks more often?? after all....it's healthier....
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giggling at the thought.....well, it probably wouldn't be funny at the time :).
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Probably because only about 25 % of the kids parents actually bring the stuff.
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So.....what happens if you just "opt out"? I mean it's not like they can keep your kid from coming to school if they don't get their list filled out.... I'm not saying I would, I'm just wondering what they do?
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I think there isn't enough info to condemn anyone....the lack of weight gain may have *nothing* whatsoever to do with following Babywise. I more or less followed the guidelines in Babywise with all 3 of my kids, and my son was a slow weight gainer that I ended up supplementing with formula ultimately. In his case, it had nothing to do with him being on a flexible eating schedule. I wasn't starving him. And when I put him down for naps, there were occasions where he would cry for awhile. Also when I was getting him to sleep through the night, there were a few long cries. All 3 of my kids, in general, were good eater, good sleepers, and very healthy. And they all slept through the night easily by 4 mo old. I'm not saying it isn't *possible* that the dil might be a little on the rigid side, or that it might not be *possible* that rigid schedule feeding is contributing to a lack of weight gain, or that it might not be possible that the crying is from hunger......but you can't necessarily make that leap. It's all a little "post hoc"-y to me :).
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OK, thats really funny, because my ds was at BSC last month, his first time, on Catalina Island. His dad went with him, he is mildly SPD, HATES cold water, and the water out there is cooooooooolllllllllld. He was in the process of getting his canoeing merit badge, but he did NOT want to capsize the canoe and get in that water. The kid in the canoe with him was getting mad at him, and his dad was on the shore yelling at him "GET IN THE WATER!!!!!" He finally did what he had to do....sigh. Just funny.....our kids got yelled at for opposite things :).
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What about Beautiful Feet History of Science? http://www.bfbooks.com/s.nl/sc.18/category.858/.f
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yep, right there with ya. DS 13 has always been small and somewhat immature. Being mildly spd doesn't help. Thankfully he had a fall bday, so socially, I was able to keep him in the lower grade. He's somewhat of a bully magnet as he gets easily frustrated/angry. He's getting there. He's in all manner of social situations regularly (theater, scouts, AWANA, church, etc..) which gives him constant opportunities to practice, and I coach him pretty closely. He still likes to play, gravitates to kids 1-2 yrs younger, who are still into pokemon/bakugan etc. He is NOT cool or "into" sports the way lots of boys his age are, so that makes it hard. He's a geeky musician type. He'll get there, as I said. He's made lots of progress over time. Being gifted/mildly spd doesn't help either. sigh. 20's huh? ooookkkayyyy.
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Thanks, that helps a lot. My challenge is that my son is math gifted, but mildly dysgraphic. He needs to do more "on paper" work this next year, to get him in the groove of just doing it. He's quirky, with a weird sense of humor, so I know he'll enjoy Ed Burger...also the jokes throughout the book. I'm hoping to figure out the most streamlined way possible to navigate the book. I definitely plan to do some of the spiral review sections, the algebra sections, and as much of the problem solving as we can get in. Do you think doin the Re-teaches and Practices cover as much of the lesson as the regular problem sets? Also, what would you say would be an average number of problems to expect an average student to do independently for homework? We've done lots of outloud in the past, he's done Kinetic Books for algebra (thorough, but not as much writing), but he needs to just have "X" number to learn to crank out everyday, kwim? Not that I would be a slave to "X" number of problems LOL, but you get the idea :o). Do you think the homework assigned in the TM is pretty reasonable?
first day not going well...
in General Education Discussion Board
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well, fwiw, first few days at our house are ALWAYS like that. ds is no great lover of work of any kind. It gets better if you stick to your guns.