I have question. My just turned 17 year old daughter has a boyfriend who she met a year ago and rarely sees due to the fact he is now living in Australia. They will see each other this summer. The majority of their communication is by computer a few times a week. Here is my question. When she is talking to him on msn she will many times ask me what to say to him or how to answer him. I mean she found a really sweet quote to send to him and he asked her what made her send it. She did not know what to say so she asked me. I have helped her anytime she asked. But I always turn it back to her and say, "what do you feel about this." She always says.....I have no clue. So I'm beginning to wonder. Yes she is very smart but why is she having to ask me what to say to this boy. She told me she is afraid she will say the wrong thing. But I think she needs to express her own feelings and I'm wondering how to help her do that. Any ideas or books that might help her. I think it's a combination of not ever having a boy that she liked before in this way and also maybe not being able to express her feelings. Thanks for your help, Jo

I have question. My just turned 17 year old daughter has a boyfriend who she met a year ago and rarely sees due to the fact he is now living in Australia. They will see each other this summer. The majority of their communication is by computer a few times a week. Here is my question. When she is talking to him on msn she will many times ask me what to say to him. I mean she found a really sweet quote to send to him and he asked her what made her send it. She did not know what to say so she asked me. I have helped her anytime she asked. But I always turn it back to her and say, "what do you feel about this." She always says.....I have no clue. So I'm beginning to wonder. Yes she is very smart but why is she having to ask me what to say to this boy. She told me she is afraid she will say the wrong thing. But I think she needs to express her own feelings and I'm wondering how to help her do that. Any ideas or books that might help her. I think it's a combination of not ever having a boy that she liked before in this way and also maybe not being able to express her feelings. Thanks for your help, Jo

The moment this happened to tell you the truth, dds head looked so bad I called my dh because I thought I was going to take her to the urgent care. I have never seen anything swell so fast and so big. We put ice on it for a few hours and it helped. ************ When ds got up from his nap, he had a big rug burn on his back from the carpet. His shirt had slid up when she was dragging him. That's when I talked to dd about her inappropriate behavior etc. I think they were horsing around and ds probably said stop and she kept going. When dh got home, he talked to them as well. Thank you to all of you. Sara

We have 3 dc. The youngest is 7 and oldest just turned 16. The two of them verbally bicker back and forth. I send them to their rooms, give them chores, send one outside etc. Dh and I try to nip it in the bud the minute it starts. They have never physically hurt each other. Can you imagine that much age difference and not getting along. The 7 is a ds and the 16 is a dd. About an hour ago, I was in the kitchen and heard a loud scream. Dd was pulling ds across the carpet to his room. That was like 10 feet. She said he was laughing at first. NOt for sure what happened next but my guess was he told her to stop. He said he did but she said he didn't. So, he got mad and picked up a big wooden block (support beam) from his brio train set and threw it at her. It hit her on the forehead just right and turned in to a bump the size of 1/2 a golf ball. I mean it looks really, really bad. She has ice on it. I spanked him which honestly was a gut reaction that I did not even think about. I had him go outside and now he is taking a nap. How would you handle this? I'm trying to figure out do I take the train set out of his room ? What do I do? Nothing like this has ever happened and I'm at a loss. Thank you guys, Sara

Thank you so much. It's really not them wanting to spend time with ds. One family lives 5 minutes from us and the other 1 hour. Thanks, Luv2read

Oh my.........(I'll try to keep this short as possible) Mil came to our "warm" state and spent Feb. and March. She stayed in an appt. and we saw her alot. So mil leaves and she has an 80th b-day at the end of June. She has 4 kids including my dh. Well my sil decided it would be nice to have a family get-together for mil b-day a month before her b-day.. This event would be in sil city. Everyone would stay in hotels, rent cars etc. Well the other two of mil kids decided to take their families to this get-together. They are staying 3 days. DH got to checking and for the 4 of us to fly it would run $549 each or 2,200 plus hotel plus car plus, plus, plus. We figured it would easily run 4,000 to 5,000 for the 3 days. So dh decided just to go alone. He felt like he had to be there for her 80th. But, the kids and I would stay home. It was fine because dd also is taking summer school. But they all want dh to bring ds who is 7 and he told them "no" he was coming alone. Then they started saying they felt sorry for ds that he would me missing out on so much fun because they were going to the zoo and water park. They kind of think he is already missing out because all of their kids are in ps and we do hs. For starters we don't want to spend that much money, plus mil was just here for 2 months. But none of them understand why since dd has summer school that dh is not taking ds (7). His mom, sister and brother have called her 4 times since yesterday. Dh just wants to go be there for his mom b-day and come home. He does not want to spend this much over 3 days when we can drive to CA as a family and not spend that much in 2 weeks. Do you all understand? I do not understand WHY they can't just be happy he is coming and not continue to question why we are not coming. Do we sound like party poopers here? I just don't understand why they keep pressuring us. Sorry for rambling, luv2read Well mil, and the rest of the family are not happy that we are not going.

I think our dd (15 years old) is depressed and it has been going on for a few months. She is cranky and is real lack luster. She lashes out at us and her brother. She is burned out on everything. She does not go back and stay in her bedroom. She's very social at home and likes to play games etc. She sleeps at night fine. She could eat more. I'm just trying to figure out how depressed she is. She is doing correspondence classes throught a couple universities and she is a real high achiever which can be good and bad. She has a 4.0 and is at the point she seems to hate school. After the picnic today, I came home and was doing some chores. I thought she was doing school but found her playing video games. She did not do school this morning before leaving either. I mentioned that if her classes were not done by June 6 she would get a zero on her transcript. She said a zero was fine with her. I told her that if she didn't care then just go back and play her video game. She looked at me like I was an alien and went to do her schoolwork. She complains that she has 1 friend. We had a homeschool picnic today and rather than playing volleyball with the kids she set by me on the blanket with the moms. It was hot though. She has been around the kids for years. Finally after awhile she went over to watch them play. One of the moms mentioned to her about the volleyball and she said she was not in to playing sports. She was in counseling for 2-3 months because of this and we finally stopped going. She was pretty much the same only I was spending $100 a week. The therapist just worked with her on thinking positive etc. We have had no major life changes etc. So I guess I'm asking if you have encountered this with your daughter and what did you do? I am thinking she needs exercise for sure. She is very petite and slender but I know it would help her. Also, I bought vitamins for her but she is not taking them. I need to remind her. Any other suggestions or ideas would be much appreciated. I'm ready to stop the correspondence classes and let her take a couple classes at the community college next year which she thinks would be nice. She will be a junior. And, our hs group has a chemistry class so that would let her do something with other kids too. Maybe this is just too much studying alone. Her little brother is 7 so it's not like they do any type of school together. Thanks for your help. Jo

I think our dd (15 years old) is depressed and it has been going on for a few months. She is cranky and is real lack luster. She lashes out at us and her brother. She is burned out on everything. She does not go back and stay in her bedroom. She's very social at home and likes to play games etc. She sleeps at night fine. She could eat more. I'm just trying to figure out how depressed she is. She is doing correspondence classes throught a couple universities and she is a real high achiever which can be good and bad. She has a 4.0 and is at the point she seems to hate school. After the picnic today, I came home and was doing some chores. I thought she was doing school but found her playing video games. She did not do school this morning before leaving either. I mentioned that if her classes were not done by June 6 she would get a zero on her transcript. She said a zero was fine with her. I told her that if she didn't care then just go back and play her video game. She looked at me like I was an alien and went to do her schoolwork. She complains that she has 1 friend. We had a homeschool picnic today and rather than playing volleyball with the kids she set by me on the blanket with the moms. It was hot though. She has been around the kids for years. Finally after awhile she went over to watch them play. One of the moms mentioned to her about the volleyball and she said she was not in to playing sports. She was in counseling for 2-3 months because of this and we finally stopped going. She was pretty much the same only I was spending $100 a week. The therapist just worked with her on thinking positive etc. We have had no major life changes etc. So I guess I'm asking if you have encountered this with your daughter and what did you do? I am thinking she needs exercise for sure. She is very petite and slender but I know it would help her. Also, I bought vitamins for her but she is not taking them. I need to remind her. Any other suggestions or ideas would be much appreciated. I'm ready to stop the correspondence classes and let her take a couple classes at the community college next year which she thinks would be nice. She will be a junior. And, our hs group has a chemistry class so that would let her do something with other kids too. Maybe this is just too much studying alone. Her little brother is 7 so it's not like they do any type of school together. Thanks for your help. Jo

That's a difficult question. The school wanted to skip two years with our dd so we decided to hs her. So, our reasons are totally different. I felt guilty not to hs ds because I have seen all the advantages dd has enjoyed by hs. On the other hand, I just felt like 2nd grade is still gentle and he might enjoy it. Then start hs again in 3rd or 4th. He likes golf which is pretty solo. Maybe I'll look at more of a team sport. His scout troop includes kids from 1st to 5th grade. They always meet every other monday evening. Thanks!

Our little ds is in 1st grade. Homeschool is going great. We have done it for years with DD. DD started in the 3rd and still does hs. She is a 10th grader. But, we have no kids in our community. zero! Everyone is retired. He is in cub scouts 2 times a month. I have tried to connect with families in our hs group with young children but have not had any success. They are usually running 10 different directions with 3 or 4 other older kids. DS is a "neat" kid. He is use to being with the "big dogs." He really enjoys my dd's friends who are all teen girls. But, he is very kind and really likes everyone. He has a good time where ever he goes. Sometimes I look at him and think he might enjoy a year of school. We started hs with dd in third grade. And, I'm wondering if it might be nice for him to have some time with kids every day. He went to a private kindergarten and enjoyed the kids. He was not crazy about going every day for a 1/2 day but he pretty much goes with the flow. We have a beautiful little elementary 5 minutes away. It's in a nice part of town and it's top rated in the state as far as learning goes. I would miss him but I'm wondering if he might have fun and have alot more kids to play with and connect with. Any ideas or thoughts?????? I appreciate you helping me look at this. Thanks, Jo