Dancer_Mom
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Posts posted by Dancer_Mom
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I remember being read aloud to throughout elementary school. It is actually one of my fondest memories from school; the anticipation of hearing the next chapter each day. I want to say that at least 30 minutes per day were spent on this in the classroom. Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry, The Witch of Blackbird Pond, Summer of the Monkeys... those are the ones that immediately come to mind. I can't really imagine school without it. Read alouds are one of my strongest memories from elementary school.
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I think there is value in allowing/encouraging children of all ages to pursue interests about which they are passionate.
At 9, I wouldn't worry too much about whether their interest will lead to a particular career. Instead, I'd focus on letting them know that they are supported in their interests and giving them the freedom to learn how it feels to pursue their interests. :)
Absolutely! Whether or not it actually turns into a career, pursuing their interests will help them learn and grow no matter what.
I have no grown kids but at a very young age I "knew" I would make a career out of dancing somehow ( I think I was 9 or 10 when I announced it to my family). My father actively discouraged it. He always told me that that my dance classes were a waste of money. Not that you are doing this - just sharing ;).
I waffled a bit over the years but ended up graduating with a BA in Dance Education, dancing professionally, teaching dance full time at a high school, and after just a 5 year break I am back teaching part time again. I was born to this art form! At 9, people thought it sounded ridiculous but now people nod their heads when I say it and seem to hold in esteem my single mindedness. I think some kids really do know early.
ETA: Oh - just saw your post... yes I think that as the interest grows the extras are a good idea to help them feel out if it is part of a larger passion/life goal... getting to talk to people in the field can help more than anything with figuring out if they want it to remain a hobby or career thing.
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I like meetup. It is easy to see the group's activities, how many people are going to things etc.
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Thanks everyone. All the advice is very helpful - especially about trying multiple clubs and talking to veteran parents. I am actually really excited to try it out. The club I am looking at meets once a month at someone's farm and I was told the focus is on barnyard animals. I guess I will just cross my fingers and jump in :)
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I have read all the 4-H threads here. I spent over a year of fruitless searching on the internet to find out how to join our local 4-H. Finally at a farm event we went to I saw a human being at a 4-H table. I now have the clubs list and there looks to be a perfect club for my cloverbud age, animal loving kids.
I was told by the lady at the 4-H table that they took all the information about the clubs off the website because the volunteers were getting spam. I told her I completely understood but it makes it nigh impossible to see what is going on. It seems that now when I go the webpage they do have one main person to email to get the information emailed directly to you.
Anyway - I still really want to try this. Has anyone out there plugged along with 4-H and really felt like it was worth it?
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Thank you for your responses - I am going to go ahead and delete. My main question was answered re: if it was legally considered endangerment. I appreciate all the other thoughts and points of view.
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Thank you
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Thanks
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Soul sucking for me. I needed a temporary position while my husband finished his last semester of school. I said I only wanted to do inbound - no sales! In my interview they said I would be doing inbound only calls but I would need to be able to answer questions about different features of the credit card. Sounded great - right?!
Translation: People activating their new credit cards were patched onto us so that we could try to push them into buying features for their credit cards... trip insurance, identity theft protection and on and on - there were like 15-20 things we could sell them that tacked on extra monthly fees to their account.
I needed the job so I stayed through training and the trial period but burned out fast once I found out that the only people that bought the extra features seemed to be really old people that didn't seem to understand... I would read them the agreement that they had to say "yes" to so that it was legal but I always felt like they didn't really get it. So it partly felt dishonest (not all the sales felt that way but I personally hate pushy sales people so I couldn't handle being one). I left and did substitute teaching which paid 1/2 as much but I felt better about myself.
So FIND OUT what they are really hiring for.
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I do a meetup group. It's really my best option since my second language (Romanian) is so obscure. I really don't go enough but when I do it is a great experience. Just hearing natives speak occasionally is good for my grammar. I would love to forge a closer connection with a family to do play dates or something but that hasn't really happened yet.
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Why not start reading the books in the language they are written in? I used to translate on the fly until around 2 1/2 yo then I started just saying "this book is written in English, so I will read in English", any discussion, questions, etc would be in Spanish still. I did that mainly because my dd would not tolerate if I deviated from a previous translation and I could not remember from one time to the next. This worked very well for both girls and it avoided confusion. My oldest was reading fluently in both languages by barely 4, my youngest by 6.
Books are a huge issue in our house too because we are doing Romanian. I only have about 25 at this point after finally finding a Canadian bookstore that sells them AND having our tutor bring back as many as possible from her last trip home. The above is exactly how I have handled it. When it is a Romanian day (I do a few days a week) I read the words of an English book in English and then when they ask me about the pictures and / or story I respond in Romanian. I have always felt like it was best for clarity so that the language matched with what was written.
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Wow - where do you live??? When I served there were always 3 sets to a branch but that was because the church was so new there and the areas we covered were fairly large.
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I attend the op's church... I wish we did background checks. However more importantly I wish we did safety training at all. When I was called to work with the children I was only informed that I couldn't help the children in the bathroom and that we needed to wait for family
members to pick them up from class.
Having worked for the YMCA for years before this the fact that we have zero safety training bothers me the most. Even though it's not required I keep myself two deep at all times. It's just prudent.
Our membership can be naive. My dh was asked to co teach a children's class at one point. He politely declined pointing out to the leader that he cared for our baby during church and he would need to step out if the baby fussed or needed a diaper change. He even stated explicitely that it would leave the teacher solo at times but it fell on deaf ears. Ultimately the bishop said it was fine if he declined because of it "not working for our family". Not because it would violate our two deep rule when men are teaching.
I handle this by staying alert, knowing my kids teachers and asking the primary president for particular class placements when I am uncomfortable with a teacher.... Which has caused a little drama but has always been honored.
I hope that at some point all primary workers will be required to take a child abuse prevention/safety class before working with the kids. Through the church would be fine but standardized.... Maybe put on by stake leaders.
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This is just going to be an awful painful talk. It just is. Does she have several kids or just one or? Ideally, I'd suggest she start with the oldest and have a private discussion, explaining the younger ones deserve to hear it from mom in private too.
Maybe she has a counselor, priest, good friend that can help her think how to answer some questions that I think a typical young child is going to have?
ETA: and if they feel they just can't handle it, I'd strongly encourage them to set a goal for discussing it. One year later maybe?
She has two the same age... pre teens. Unfortunately, we aren't close like chat on the phone - just friendly at family get togethers. My personal family history is a LOT more troubled than my husband's. This was huge for his family and unfortunately all too familiar for me. They are incredibly kind, loving people but I do feel worlds apart from them when it comes to certain life experiences.
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And I'd be upfront about it. I would tell the mom from the start that I will not participate in the lie or tell my kids to do it either. I would not blind side her with thinking I'm going to go along with it and then no go along with it. Let her know that her kids are absolutely going to meet people who know and this is bound to slip at some point and it would be best for her to handle it first.
Lots of hugs and coffee and wine and more hugs.
You are right and I had this thought myself today. When the time comes - I would never blindside their mom.
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And no, I wouldn't concoct some unrelated story before that point. I think explaining people can have real illnesses in their minds as well as their bodies is true and helps destigmatize mental illness.
That's what they did.
The mother made up a story that isn't true. For example, telling them that he died of colon cancer or heart failure and made up details related to the story as well. I don't want to post what she made up because this is a searchable board. I don't think I initially made that clear.
Withholding information till kids are older is very different than making up an alternate story - I definitely agree with that.
I don't feel comfortable telling my children the made up story. Again, I would not be telling them the whole story till they were older, I just don't want to tell them a straight up lie.
I edited my original post for clarity.
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Is telling kids that the person died from a mental illness without mentioning suicide a lie, though? Is that different then telling a child a person died from cancer without listing off the order their organs failed and that they actually died from respiratory distress, or whatever?
I agree with you too... that is not a lie. But when the kids are 17 and 18 and know you can't drop dead from simply being depressed would you then tell them it led to the suicide? I hardly think it necessary that the kids read the police report someday (to address the cancer analogy) that would be upsetting and unnecessary but it seems that ultimately the suicide part needs to come out at some point.
By the way... the story my family told them is not that one. They added in more details which makes it feel more like a lie than simply the right amount of information for the right age.
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I think if someone tells lies or keeps secrets, then the burden of maintaining that secret or lie is entirely on them and they should not expect or presume that anyone else, much less society at large, is going to maintain it.
This is why in general I find them to be foolhardy endeavors doomed to not end well from the start.
And thus why I would never participate in it or suggest it a good idea.
See... I think you expressed well what I was thinking. Keeping our family out of it completely...it's not like all the other adults (and possibly some kids) in their small town don't know what happened. I already worry that something will slip out by someone not even related in front of them and it will be far more upsetting than if they were told the right amount of information at the right time by a loved one.
I spent most of today thinking about it while running errands. The cousins in question are 7-8 years older than my children, and by the time our kids would be the right age to know the whole story they would be young adults and I would be surprised if their mom hasn't changed her mind by then. Kids get more curious for details as they age, and I kind of think the shock and grief of the moment led her to go to greater lengths to protect them from it.
Again, I also agree with others that it may never come up. Obviously, it is private and sensitive to them and hardly something I would presume to bring up or discuss during family visits... only that the thought of all the kids being adults someday with some knowing a partial truth and some knowing the full truth seems strange and sad in a way to me.
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So I have a question but didn't want to hijack the other thread about sharing bad things with our children.
Unfortunately, both DH and myself have family member(s) who have died by suicide. Our children are still very young but we plan to tell them the truth about these deaths in an age appropriate way as they get older.
I have always been troubled by the fact that other family members decided after the death of an uncle that the children (his) should be told a different story. They were younger at the time, but not so young they couldn't hear the truth in an age appropriate way. The "family" determined it was too horrific and they would be told story "B."
I don't feel it appropriate to interfere with what their mother has determined is right for them, but I personally don't feel right telling my own children story "B." How horrible it would be for these kids to learn from cousins the real truth. In my heart I believe and hope that as they age our family will realize the real truth is important for them to know. But what if they don't you know? And it never comes up again? I feel like it also wouldn't be right to tell my own children to keep it secret.
We have some years before this every might become an issue but I have always worried about the affect this situation could have on our relationship with the mom of the kids. We want to respect her but be true to what we believe as well.
That's all... just thought about this problem again because of the other thread... anyone else have a similar situation or thoughts?
edited for clarity
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There is NO reason to switch. Your baby is having plenty of wet diapers so your milk supply is not the issue... switching to bottles wouldn't change a thing. When my baby was in the hospital he did have the bili blanket underneath him at the same time the light was on. Every time I nursed we would swing the light around on him so that he had the light at all times. Honestly that level is not high enough to cause brain damage so I think your doctor needs to be more patient as you are not putting your baby at risk. Stand your ground - GOOD LUCK.
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In addition to English I speak Romanian fairly well.
I always tell people in the US my experience because far from the stereotypical "Doesn't the whole world speak English?" attitude that Americans are painted with, I find the majority of people I know are frustrated and disappointed they only speak one language.
I studied 5 years of Spanish in school and 4 semesters of ASL in college and remember very little. The ONLY thing that made the difference in Romanian was that I lived there for a year and a half. I had to learn it... I had no choice... I was forced to struggle till I could get along.
Teaching my children additional languages was a HUGE determining factor in deciding to homeschool. I feel like American kids are cheated of the amazing people and cultures that open up to you when you can speak another language.
I also firmly believe it's never too late even if it gets harder but you have to put yourself out there. Read it, study it daily and if possible speak with native speakers whenever you get the chance. I have never once been made fun of by a native Romanian speaker for my efforts.
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We have a vitamix and have loved it. No problems really but we discovered it's limits just tonight. I was trying to make ice cream out of frozen bananas (just frozen bananas nothing else) and we got the motor burning a little. When we blended the frozen banana pieces without liquid it was so thick it was struggling. We really need to get a food processor I guess in addition to it?? By the way we got it to blend before the burning smell started and the "ice cream" was delicious!
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Are the classes held once per week so a 6-week session would meet 6 times? Are the prices the going rate for your area? I ask because my DD takes 4 dance classes a week, so roughly 16 per month, for $80. Your prices would seem very high to me but I live in a low-cost area.
Yes - I did the prices based on what other dance classes were charging at the center - 80 dollars a month for 4 classes/week is an amazing deal!
Teen Driving and Insurance
in High School and Self-Education Board
Posted
Wow! I think car insurance rates vary widely by state. We added our 17 year old last week. $1000 additional per year. (Cincinnati Insurance) After one year with a clean driving record that amount will be slashed. After 3 years driving she will be treated as an adult experienced driver for rates.