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Love_to_Read

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Posts posted by Love_to_Read

  1. Do you know yet what causes your DS's dysgraphia?  Phonetic issues (stealth dyslexia)?  Sensory-Motor issues? Attention issues (ADHD, perhaps)?  Somewhere I heard that dysgraphia is never really a stand-alone disability....that it's caused by (or at least co-morbid with) a ton of common disabilities, and thus it helps once you know which mix of factors are causing it.

     

    For mine, it was mostly a mix of stealth dyslexia and SPD.  So, the OT worked on things like pencil grip, pencil pressure, fine motor control, hand-eye coordination, proprioperception, etc. to improve the physical act of writing, and we worked on phonics with All About Spelling and Dianne Craft's Right-Brained Phonics to improve the ability to visualize the spelling of what she wanted to write. I think there was an attention component, too, but for the most part, we've handled that by just having her pre-plan aloud, then prompt her to include the rest of what she said...working on transitioning this to outlining it herself for greater independence.  And learning to re-read the question to see if all parts have been answered or if half of it was forgotten.  But that may not be enough if ADHD is the main force driving it.

    • Like 1
  2. I got invited to one as a college freshman, at a school full of high IQ people, so I'm going to disagree with the comment about idiots.

     

    My main observation was that they were friendly at a time in which I was new to the area and meaning to find a church community.  A lot of what they preached was familiar Biblical doctrine.  But, their Bible studies had answer keys...I mean, a lot printed Bible studies have suggested answers in the teacher's guide to help a stalled conversation, but these were very pointed in that leaders were expected to argue you into agreement that there was one right interpretation of Scripture and that would be the church party line.  So, a bunch of relatively true stuff, but just a few things that were...slightly off....just slightly at first....and the discouragement of coming to your own conclusions.  Then the retreat/conference where non-members HAD to attend the classes on salvation for new believers instead of any of the other topics available, nevermind if you'd already been Christian for years, and again, just a teeny tiny smidge of something slightly off amongst a ton of familiar truths.

     

    That intolerance of disagreement is a big red flag, as is the "not good enough" mentality, and the neverending inviting you back after you decline.  But maybe some people never decline until they're roped in...
     

    • Like 3
  3. For math, we found that dd's struggles were related to dyslexia/dysgraphia, in that she had trouble with:

     

    rote memory of facts

    sequence of steps

    left-to-right directionality

    the actual writing of the numerals, in the same manner that writing letters oriented correctly requires extra concentration

     

    And then:
    fine motor fatigue (which is why the first 5 problems in class were fine, but finishing the 30+ problems per page at night was pure torture after about 15 or so)

    visual fatigue since the problems had to be copied from the book to paper, back and forth

    visual tracking issues...struggled to visually follow the columns and rows in a multiplication table when one was provided, esp. one tiny enough to include all 100 facts.

    same tracking issues when it came to lining up the place values of large problems without graph paper

     

    None of that ended up being an actual math disability in terms of understanding quantity or logic, but math was impacted every bit as severely as spelling because of those dyslexia-related weaknesses plus some motor and visual issues.  Once we got the right supports in place, we're back to where she has confidence in her abilities and is progressing through Math U See on track to hit Algebra in high school.  It was definitely one of the areas which the classroom teacher really struggled to understand why dd wasn't doing well...seeing those first five problems getting done in class, seeing the legible handwriting at first, handing her the times table cheat sheet without it making any significant impact...she definitely chalked it up to attitude, laziness, and poor parenting, even though it was mentioned in her original IEP as an area in which the school psychologist expected trouble down the road.

     

    Accommodations that worked (we had to do these at home, but if we re-enrolled, these are what I would press for continuing):

    Graph paper on a large enough scale to accommodate her handwriting when fatigued, preferably with color-coded columns to help with visual tracking and as a clue to left-right*

    Multiplication Fact Tables by family, just nine facts per page (and addition/subtraction at first, though we did those as a list instead)*

    Reduced number of problems to what can be finished in a reasonable amount of time

    Extended time as needed, private environment if needed
    In the earlier grades (but way past the time peers ditched these), an alphabet strip and numerals 0-9, just to reference the directionality of how to write them
    Possibly a note card indicating sequence of steps for lengthy operations (we did this with one-on-one prompting until ingrained, but in class I'd say notecard)
    Being allowed to check with a calculator rather than doing the inverse by hand to check

    Being allowed to Xerox the page and write the answers right on it whenever possible (so things like fact practice, mental math, measurements, labeling geometry figures, etc., as opposed to things like long-division that had to be written on graph paper to do the work)

    Being allowed to abbreviate whenever possible (such as writing geometry answers)
     

    *See the youtube videos for the Making Math Real Institute for more info on color-coding place value and 9-lines multiplication tables.

     

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  4. Is there any possibility of her staying afterschool for homework help some afternoon?  Not that it would help her scores per se, but just so that she can ask questions privately without her friends seeing...and maybe break down emotionally...and maybe demonstrate how the quality of work declines that late in the day.  If the private school or public school have any sort of homework club, especially if you can't make arrangements with the individual teacher but maybe even in addition to the teacher, I'd recommend seeing whether she could attend that for a couple days/weeks, just to get some other adults weighing in on how dd handles homework. Oh what I wouldn't have given for dd's teacher to see what homework looks like at 4pm instead of 9am...if your dd's teacher is required to be in the building after school, maybe she CAN get another view than what she's been seeing by helping dd a couple times.

     

    I second the idea of seeing whether dd could get in with the school counselor / social worker regarding the adjustment.  Because we know it's not just the adjustment...but that seems like the logical person to get to the bottom of understanding the degree to which she's putting on a front in class while suffering silently. You need someone else on your side insisting that it's not you, not poor parenting, not the lack of a home environment conducive to getting homework done, etc., someone who will actually talk to dd and hear her side of what's going on in her head during class.

     

    I agree that they are probably swamped with other kids at this time of year.  My dd's school renewed all their IEPs in October and early November, so that the teachers for their new grade would have a few weeks to try out the old accommodations and have some opinion on whether they needed adjusting for the new school year...so September was prime testing season for those who needed updated evals in time for the October renewals.  Plus, of course, anyone else who moved into the district over the summer, or transferred into the private school, and anyone who calls for a revision of the IEP upon realizing that the next grade/teacher is significantly harder, etc.  They are most likely scrambling to get everyone evaluated within these first 60 days, particularly those who already had an IEP from their previous school, and thus you seemed like a good case to potentially shunt to the back of the line since your children haven't even begun the process yet other than your request, and being new to school in general, you might not know your rights and they might be able to make a semi-plausible case for deniability based on lack of prior education instead of ability.  You still have the same rights and your kids deserve justice, but yes...the passive tendency is going to be to marginalize their needs unless you fight for them.

     

    I think the district of residence is the wrong place to ask what happens to the IEP process if you pull them back out.  The Dept. of Ed. are the ones who know the intricacies of the law.  The local school is going to either be ignorant of such an uncommon request, or is going to play ignorant.  It's a game of pass the buck.  Just like the current SN coordinator is trying to tell you that we NEVER evaluate for 6mo, the local ps is surely going to tell you whatever they can to delay or deny the process if you thrust this back in their lap.  Once you actually get into the IEP process with them, they might be a bit more helpful to you as a homeschooler, figuring that they probably are not obliged to offer you services unless you enroll, or they might be less helpful, figuring that you are not going to affect their test scores, so who cares whether you ever get a helpful IEP?  But either way, I can't see them giving you an accurate answer as to how the IEP would be handled if you pull out now.  The Dept. of Ed., on the other hand, could tell you whether you have to submit a new request, whether the timeline gets restarted, whether the local school would have to request the current paperwork from the current PS gatekeeper or whether they'd be starting fresh without it or whether it would be at their discretion to do it either way.  This type of request for information is not creating conflict at all...it's an informational request, and a large part of why the Dept. of Ed. exists.

     

    As I've stated above, though, I agree with OhE that contacting them with the full story of how the PS is delaying you illegally is not a conflict to avoid, and I don't even think the coordinator would be angered so much as nervous.  She most likely knows your rights, and knows that she's trampling them, and pragmatically must bump you up the priority scale if the Dept. of Ed. orders her to do so.  But if you're not willing to go that far yet, and are leaning toward just finding out whether doing the IEP process as a homeschooler might be easier, I'd at least contact them to ask that much. They are the right entity to answer that question. 

     

    • Like 1
  5. One thought on creating conflict...

     

    The PS doing the eval is not your district of residence.

    They are not the district who will write the IEP.
    They are not the school your children are attending.

    The coordinator herself is not the psychologist who will be conducting the actual testing or observations of your child.  (Unless it's a super tiny district like mine, but it doesn't sound like it.)

    So, what you have is a PS coordinator whose sole job is be the gatekeeper.  She authorizes which professionals shall test your child...psychologist for certain tests, OT to evaluate fine motor if handwriting is an issue, PT if gross motor coordination is noted, etc.  Apparently, part of her implied job is to save the school district some time, money, obligations, or something by denying or delaying such evals, even though doing so is shady and illegal.

     

    If you completely anger her by involving the Dept. of Ed. and create an adversarial situation, what power does she have exactly?  She cannot keep denying you the evaluations with the Department looking over her shoulder.  She cannot change what the psychologist will find. She cannot affect what happens to your child in the Christian school classroom.  She cannot even write the IEP herself.

     

    If by some slim chance she finds some way to still mess things up, who does the evaluation if you pull your daughter out of school?  Your district of residence.

     

    So, in my mind, even if we imagine a worst case scenario of conflict going poorly, she has very little power to be vindictive. Right now, she is using her gatekeeper power to block you, and who knows how many other students for various reasons, from being able to get your foot in the door with a timely evaluation as per the law, but to the best of my knowledge, that's it.  Once the Dept. of Ed. orders her to hurry up and comply with the law to evaluate, that power evaporates.

    We've also seen in her reply that she is backpedalling and trying to lie to smooth things over in her own conflict avoidance.  She isn't coming out and calling you liars, she isn't continuing to refuse to look at your sample work...she's being about a thousand times more polite in writing than she was in the meeting, because apparently she also has a need for everything to look pretty on the surface.  So, my thought is that if you back her further into a corner, she isn't the type to lash out.  She seems like the type to keep on politely protesting that it's all just a big misunderstanding, no harm meant, no wrong done, and then to deal with you as civilly as possible in hopes that you'll go on your merry way and be a quickly forgotten blip on the radar.  For her to get aggressive back is just more stuff that could be reported to the Dept. of Ed., to shatter the façade of her being a diligent law-abiding employee who was misinformed and simply concerned about having enough evidence to evaluate these kids accurately.

     

    In other words, she's a bully when she thinks she can get away with it, such as verbally during a meeting with a fresh new parent and coworkers who will back her up.  But if you continue dealing with her in writing and invoke the specter of actually getting caught breaking the law, she suddenly starts singing a different tune.  I think she'll be much more compliant with the Dept. of Ed. on your side....still trying to insist left and right that she didn't have your records and it was all your fault...but absolutely forced to look at them now. And I'm sure the Dept. of Ed. has heard that same song and dance a thousand times from a thousand coordinators to take such protests of innocence with a large grain of salt.

     

    • Like 3
  6. I can't imagine.  I'm shocked that HSLDA would encourage anyone to do such.

     

    I did know a family who was investigated by CPS for truancy in a high reg. state because the new secretary in the district *thought* they had missed a deadline for which they were actually in compliance.  They still came out to her house and made a full investigation of the home, checking all the standard things in an abuse investigation such as food in the cupboards, sleeping arrangements, discipline, interviewing the kids, etc. *Most* districts in the area will just send you a postcard asking for late paperwork, reminding you that a call could be made if no action is taken, but it most certainly is CPS who gets called for truancy here.  Perhaps that varies by state.

    I've heard of special needs parents flying under the radar in a high reg state by filing regular paperwork but not ever having their child's disability formally diagnosed and therefore never filing the extra paperwork required for special needs homeschooling, but I don't know anyone that intentionally stays any further off the grid than that. Personally, I think having a dx is worth the extra paperwork, and affords you some protection anyhow, should your child fail the standardized testing or have a portfolio that isn't quite up to grade level or such, so that manner of stealth homeschooling boggles my mind, too.

     

  7. A documentary is one thing...in which a couple of respectable organizations say, "This is what we know about abuse in general based on our professional experience working with victims and perhaps offenders.  Here are a bunch of hotlines and websites that you can visit to get individualized help or make a report."  That's something that can be produced consisting mostly of professionals, and a few interviews from people like the Duggars who've already had their stories shared in the media or otherwise feel compelled to speak out.

     

    But a reality show involving counseling of victims?  Aside from the wild assumption that the Duggars have advice worth giving, how on earth would they arrange for victims to appear on the show? People who still need counseling?  Most people who are willing to publically speak about this type of abuse are those who have already had significant time to process what happened and have come out the other side wanting to encourage others to get counseling, report offenders, etc. Most crimes of this nature are never even reported because of feelings of shame or fear of not being believed.  The idea that they could film enough victims being counseled to actually make a t.v. series for a single season, much less multiple seasons...THAT is narcissistic, THAT is completely ignoring the victims themselves in a bid to put themselves in the limelight again.  They already cried foul that the media exposed their daughters as victims, that simply reporting the incidents in the media even without names made it clear who was involved, and that the girls themselves would have preferred it to remain private.  Shouldn't other victims get the same courtesy of privacy, particularly during such difficult counseling???  I mean, yes, anyone on reality tv would have to consent to being filmed, while the girls had no say in Josh's crimes being broadcast, but it just reeks of arrogance and narcissism that they would suggest such a series without even considering the other people who would have to be involved to make such a show....that most victims and offenders would most likely be more comfortable and therefore benefit more from counseling in a private setting rather than on stage.

     

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  8. There are a few bundles on the Peace Hill Press website where you can get everything for a level, or all the audiobooks, etc.  I often see bundles on ebay, too, where someone has the textbook, activity guide, and either the audio or tests or both, for whichever year.

     

    I bought the ebook, too, so that no one would whine about losing their book and expect to get out of a day's reading that way.  Most people retain more by reading a printed copy than an electronic copy, though. I do think it's worth having a printed copy of anything we do with audio, because of being able to look at the illustrations and being able to look back easier to review.

     

  9. I was assigned to a triple once, and a quad for a semester.  The triple ended up being a giant room (slightly quirky shape, renovated building instead of constructed to be a dorm) with far more extra space than most, and both roommates were wonderful.  Some of the quad roommates were a bit harder to get along with, but it was also abnormally large, and two of them ended up unofficially moving out.  (They had friends/boyfriends off-campus, but didn't tell their parents, so the room was never officially vacated by them and thus never re-filled by others...but they mostly moved out for all practical purposes.)  So, it was like having just one roommate but twice the space.

     

    It doesn't always work out that well, but you never know...Hoping for the best, and so relieved for you that he's got a room!

  10. Unfortunately,I'm the only one who speaks another language. My husband is American and I have no family here . I'm planning to teach them other languages,since I'm fluent in several. I bought some books and CDs and they love it. Again, the peculiar thing is, my low iq kid is interested the most in learning another language and he seems to remember the most.

     

     

    You might consider switching back to your native language to him in certain contexts, like getting ready for bed as someone mentioned.  If your dh is speaking only English to him as a native speaker, he'd still know the English words for conversations with dad, and you'd still be doing academics in English.  A lot of bilingual families do the one-parent-one-language method, where each parent uses their native language consistently.  Others do something like a home language and a public language, or a school language and another language outside of school lessons.

     

    I'm just thinking ahead that if you are going to teach him other languages, even if yours isn't as common as some other languages you wish to teach...he has an advantage phonetically if he heard it up to age 3, and the advantage of being taught by a native speaker. Even if you are quite fluent, unless you were a very young bilingual, there is still an advantage for teaching your native language over one of your other languages.  Having a solid foundation in two native languages like that can make it easier to add a third or fourth language for him later, if you want to add Latin or something after reintroducing his early childhood language that you spoke to him natively. Just a thought for the future. Sorry it is a bit further off the topic at hand. Sorting out his struggles is of course a higher priority first.

     

    I do not know the answer professionally to your IQ question, but as a parent, my instinct would be to trust the highest score, the 110.  I would be concerned about why it seems to be going down...whether it is some sort of progression of ASD issues, some sort of deteriorating health, some mismatch between vision, motor, language, etc. that is keeping him from being scored accurately as the test requires increasing skills? (There are probably more words on a test for older children, perhaps more writing, perhaps smaller print to read, etc.)  IQ is not entirely unchangeable, but it is generally thought to be mostly consistent over time.  Dropping from 110 to 78 is not something that should be happening without a specific cause.  That is where I would focus my attention--what could be causing that drop in scores?  I don't think you should call him a low IQ kid just yet.  He may very well be an above average kid (110 IQ) with some sort of specific disability preventing him from scoring accurately, and that's where remediation should focus, on removing that obstacle so he can do his best on not only an IQ test, but on everything it might affect, plus figuring out if there's anything else that might be causing trouble in the subjects you mentioned.  If by some small chance his IQ really is dropping lower...not just the scores, but the IQ itself...that is cause for alarm. I would worry if there could be some health cause, such as lead exposure, or PKU disease (I think that is much younger, but I don't know if anything similar exists), or some gut damage common to ASD, something harming his brain that must be stopped and healed if possible.  I think that is less likely than a testing issue, but even a small chance would be of grave concern to halt as soon as possible if true.

     

     

    • Like 3
  11. Is he fluent in your native language? Did the tester evaluate him in that at all?  I agree that vocabulary for a bilingual child should start to even out by around 10-12, but a proper evaluation should look at both languages.  I knew a child in middle school whose scores on an IQ test did vary significantly depending on which language, and that child had been enrolled in public school since Kindergarten. A good evaluation is supposed to look at language ability and IQ in both languages to get the full picture, even at that age.

     

    It's hard to figure out how to promote more social interaction when everything costs money. Are there any homeschool groups that meet for free, such as at the park instead of a co-op?  Some school situations might promote social skills for a child identified as needing them, but some situations will only introduce your child to bullying and further social isolation for being different.  Personally, we have had better results in homeschool groups where parents are readily available to coach their children through social situations, teaching them to be kind to one another, but it is a difficult decision when there are no free or low-cost opportunities.

     

    You might want to call the special education director for the school district to see how they handle social skills for someone like your son.  If they seem to address them directly, perhaps there could be some benefit. If they seem to do nothing for such children, perhaps school would be worse.  You are doing very well with him academically, and there is a chance that you are doing the best for him socially even though he is still behind.
     

    • Like 2
  12. Is it possible that he just didn't test accurately, as in wasn't feeling compliant or social or comfortable with the test being on things he hadn't done before exactly? Or since there's a language delay, could that be hindering the tester's ability to get an accurate IQ?  I know some of it should be nonverbal as much as possible, but the child still needs to understand the directions...

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  13. It sounds like a great idea!  The turn out might not be quite as high as it would for someone established, but I'll bet there are lots of homeschoolers who feel the same way and will come, plus the neighbors sound like they were doing their best to welcome you, so they may help spread the word. It sounds like a wonderful idea, and I would totally go if someone did that in our neighborhood.

  14. I'm so sorry!  But seriously, it was right around 3-4mo that we got thrush from a round of abx for ear infection/respiratory infection, and I'd give anything to have known to start throwing probiotics at it asap before the yeast symptoms started.  Maybe you'll get lucky since you're already feeding them to baby.  Do treat yourself, too, though, you'll be glad you did.

    • Like 1
  15. I would call the doctor (doctors?) back to discuss safer alternatives, see if they can switch your prescription to something better.  I don't think it would be wise to skip them given how sick you are, nor to stop nursing, but there are safer medications on the market.

     

    I'd also stock up heavily on acidophilus capsules, because the two of you are likely to end up with a raging yeast infection. Babies often get it as thrush in the mouth, and that can make nursing painful for both of you.  You'll want to take the acidophilus spaced out at different times than the antibiotics (well, double-check with doc to be sure it won't harm the effectiveness of the abx, but for less-serious illnesses I've always been able to take them halfway between doses) and you'll want to take them for a couple weeks after the abx are done.  Newman's site linked above gives some more detailed info about fighting thrush...just be aware and do what you can preventatively...go heavy on the probiotics and try to avoid sugar/wheat if possible while your body is dealing with the abx. 

    • Like 1
  16. We've used Right Brained Phonics for my older child.  Most of the time, I do find myself still inserting some explanations here and there, just from having done other programs.  I think it helped, but I agree with OhE on starting with evals and looking at Barton and so forth. 

     

    I know with the Right Brained Phonics, there was a section where I had to stop and make our own pages to reinforce something she just wasn't getting.  It's been successful enough that I'd probably buy it again, at least as a used copy, if I had to make the decision again...but I do see it as supplementary, not quite as wonderful as I'd hoped but still worthwhile.

    • Like 1
  17. I would bite your tongue in regards to this plan for the moment, but encourage her to do an extra curricular performance early on...such as freshman spring, or sophomore fall.....just to get a realistic feel for how very much time theater consumes even during a semester with a NORMAL number of credits.

     

    Also 20-21 credits often requires special permission...where I went, you had to have a certain GPA in order to get a waiver to take that many.  So, as someone suggested about giving her time to learn about how many credits feel comfortable, I'd also give her some time to meet an advisor who will tell her the same thing, and time to get more familiar with relevant university policies.

     

    The best thing my advisor ever did for my harebrained idea to take an uncommon dual major was to hand me the course catalogues for odd and even years, fall and spring, and tell me to plot out those two majors to see whether there were conflicts, whether I could actually make them fit into 4yrs or not, because the schedules actually tended to be very repetitive from year to year....such-and-such was always a spring evening course, even years only, and such-and-such was always an 8am class in the fall, taught by only one ancient professor, and that meant taking it a different semester than that 8am internship, which meant getting its prerequisites done way early or else missing the boat in time for it to come around again before graduation.  But that's a conversation for her to have with her advisor first, with you only stepping in if the advisor doesn't ground her with such a practical discussion after she's had a semester to adjust to college life.

    • Like 4
  18. The local school district OT was actually the most help for dysgraphia for us.  The hospital OT we tried seemed like her experience must have focused on rehab for stoke victims, car accidents, etc., because she seemed very dismissive of dd's issues...she worked with her for something like 6wks and called it good enough, whereas the school OT still tested her as needing help afterward and continued working with her for several years and helped a ton.

     

    I know someone in TX who utilized the school for speech...I *think* there is some way in that state to partially enroll just for special ed services, and that it is likely that the schools probably have OTs at this point.  It may just be that all of them in that specialty work for the district rather than privately.  That's what we found...other than the hospital one that seemed completely unfamiliar with developmental issues, there really wasn't anyone operating private services, because it can be tricky to get insurance to pay for such when it could be done through the schools for free. 

    • Like 1
  19. Well, from my friend who is fluent in ASL and left-handed, it seems that left and right don't really matter much in ASL...it's more a matter of working toward your body or away from it. So, when a right-handed signer holds out their right hand and signs the letter j, it looks like a letter J being traced in the air from the signer's perspective, same direction as writing on paper...with the hook going toward midline of the body, from their right to left.  But for a lefty to trace the J in the same direction as on paper, it would feel very awkward to make that hook face left, away from the body's midline. It's a totally different wrist movement.  So, the proper way for a lefty to make a J is not to duplicate the left-to-right feature of where the hook occurs, but to duplicate the wrist motion of curving from the tall line being made near the outer body to the hook being made toward the body's midline....because THAT's what looks similar in motion and feels similar.  So, awareness of left-right is probably quite irrelevant.

     

    I wonder whether the Chinese speaker that we know would have any hints regarding kanji.  I remember being told once that the extra little lines are at least repetitive...like how Handwriting Without Tears has the wooden pieces that are all big curve, little curve, long line, short line....that there is some pattern as to what type of strokes can be made in calligraphy and therefore might be made in these locations, etc. Hmmm...

     

    I wondered about the hiragana and katakana.  I thought I'd heard something like that. I think a syllabary would work quite well for her, because it's segmenting that she has the hardest time with.  Keeping it chunked together as syllables may be easier for her than a letter-by-letter phonetic system. 

     

    That is encouraging to hear how your daughter is doing with language!

  20. Also, I don't have Tricare, but the COVD we saw was able to bill some of our vision exam under major medical.  It depends on whether there is a physical issue such as a weak muscle that can be pinpointed as a cause.  So, you'd still have to cover the therapy afterward or find a COVD who would send you home with exercises, but *sometimes* the eye exam is not entirely out of pocket. It could even reveal something common like farsightedness, which is covered by vision insurance if you have any. It's worth visiting the COVD website and making some phone calls.  Vision therapy won't teach your child to sound out words instead of guessing via the first and last letters, so it's often not a complete cure, but it can be a huge help for a child who is having trouble visually focusing on those letters in the first place.

    • Like 1
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