Aelwydd
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Posts posted by Aelwydd
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That's SO COOL! Thanks for sharing!!!
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Can someone please explain to this clueless poster what trolls and prayer requests in siggies have to do with each other? :confused:
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The other side of that coin, asta, is that Europe does have a considerable secularizing effect upon first and second generation Muslim immigrants. I read a statistic once, which claimed that approximately 15% of Muslims who immigrate either become non-practicing, or leave Islam altogether. Also, many Muslims who are trying to escape Sharia-bound governments in their homelands, end up still facing persecution and death threats from radical Islamic elements in immigrant communities in their new European countries.
There are young Muslim girls living in the immigrant neighborhoods in large French cities who would like to dress and conduct themselves as Western French girls do, often face intimidation and threats from their own community. Just a few months ago, I read a horrible news story where a teenage Muslim girl was burned alive by some young Muslim teen boys in her neighborhood, for the sin of wanting to fit in with larger French society. Though shocking, these types of attacks are hardly rare in these communities.
So, I think that until the dangerous, radical minority of the Muslim population, who are for Sharia, are neutralized, both the moderate Muslim community, and Europeans in general, will find integration very difficult to accomplish, thanks to the intimidation factor of Islamacists. It's sad that so many people are being held hostage by fear of a small, but violent few.
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I think it was weird, very weird, that they were so uptight about it. She's 2, not 12.
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You know what, you don't need to make this thread "constructive" by asking other people gratuitous questions (if that is how they were meant). I think this thread is perfectly justified as a place for you to connect with other folks and express your feelings.
I don't know you, and I'm just another anonymous person. But if it makes you feel any better, your thoughts and your writing seem pretty clear to me. I admire the fact that you are able to function well enough to continue hs'ing, because Lupus is no joke. I wish your family and friends could better empathize with you, especially when you are in pain.
I wish I could do more to help, but I'm offering an "ear" to listen. Your feelings are completely valid, and I hope you feel some encouragement from other posters here, too.
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I'm going to go against the tide here a little bit and suggest that maybe you should keep ps on the table for discussion. I understand and agree that you are the parent, and he the child; but he is at an age where a simple appeal to authority is not going to be enough to gain his cooperation. You can certainly compel him to hs, but the price may be a miserable experience for yourself, and your ds. I can't help but think that that would not only taint the educational experience, but also your relationship with your ds.
You say that he does comprehend that his work has improved since he has been hs'd. It may be helpful to sit down and have an open, honest discussion, where you lay out exactly how much hs'ing has contributed to his improvement. Use logic and reason, not appeals to blind authority, especially with an older child, unless you are prepared for a potentially ugly battle of wills.
On the flip side, such a meeting means you have to listen to, and carefully consider his side of the argument. As an Asperger's child, I would think that his desire for enhanced socialization opportunities with his peers should factor very strongly in his favor.
Is there any room for compromise here? An agreement that he try the first half year hs'ing, with the understanding that if he absolutely hates it, you will permit ps'ing? Or vice versa?
Again, I do understand that you are the parent and the one who ultimately must do what's best for your child. However, sometimes parents are blinded by what they want for their child, and cannot see that their choice is causing stress or harm to their child. This happened to my dh, who was forced to go to private schooling his entire educational experience. To this day, it affects any classroom situations he is in, because he has such a negative response ingrained in him. And he has not changed his opinion that his parents were wrong for putting him in a situation that was a very poor fit for him, both psychologically and academically.
Other than that, I would say trust your mother's intuition. If your child is truly unhappy, you'll know.
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You didn't do anything wrong by posting the thread. Though I disagreed quite strongly with some of your opinions, as far as I could tell, you weren't breaking any rules in expressing them. And you are not responsible for others who post in violation of the rules.
It's a shame the thread got deleted. Ah well, you live, you learn. :tongue_smilie:
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Strip, I agree that there are other reasons given for new regulations. However, the banning of the veil in public schools through France was geared towards Muslim students, although the justification included and targeted all religious symbols. The reason given was ostensibly to keep French schools secular of all religion, but everyone understood that practically, it was aimed at a particular group.
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:iagree:I will have to research it, but I don't believe that is their motivation at all.Currently in Europe there is a HUGE problem with Muslim immigrants who have not put (are not putting) their children in state schools and did not (are not) schooling them at home, either. The end result has been an entire generation of illiterate youth.
Given the assimilation problems occurring in France and throughout Europe, I would *guess* that this bill is an attempt to address the problems associated with that. eg: An entire generation of people who cannot read or write either their own language or that of the country in which they live and are therefore unable to support themselves (they can't get jobs).
asta
This was the first thing that popped into my mind. France has the largest Muslim population in Europe, with Muslims constituting 10% of their total population. There is a great deal of uneasiness amongst the French of, well, European origin, because they are not exactly friendly towards any religion, and Islam seems to be particularly irritating. I would wager that this is intended to give the state greater leverage over those immigrant children who are educated outside of public schools by, and therefore, not being "properly" educated as to French values.
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Reading this thread, I think maybe 3 or 4 families have dad teaching, too. Poor John, he's going to feel a bit of an odd man out here. :D
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I can totally understand those husbands who find hs'ing to be a bit overwhelming and/or tedious. When we first started last fall, we were hs'ing as an alternative to our first choice, which would be public schooling. Private schools were too expensive for us, so that left hs'ing, and when I first started with ds, I felt kind of lost, too.
Fortunately, some friends of mine (members on this board) pointed me to WTE, Math Mammoth, and other curricula that really meshed with what dh and I wanted (secular, liberal arts focus with a strong emphasis on science and math) for ds. It took me a while to give myself permission to stop trying to mimic the ps environment, with worksheets and quizzes and all that.
Now, we have shifted to a low-pressure approach, where quizzes and tests are really very infrequent. We're more interested in the quality of work ds produces, and we plan to simply administer standardized tests twice a year, just to see how he is incorporating everything.
I think I could do hs'ing myself, but dh's contributions definitely enhance Jackson's education. John (dh) is very much invested in the whole process, because he wants to make sure Jackson is keeping on track academically and progressing as he should.
P.S. John actually just joined the board tonight ("Bonsoir" thread)--he got curious after I told him I found a forum full of classical education hs'ers. ;)
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Hi Babe, welcome to the board. ;)
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If it works then do it. Do you both work?
Not right now, although I'm looking for full time work (I just finished my B.S.). The ideal situation would be for me to find an excellent paying position, so dh could quit and be a SAD, and finish his own degree. DH is working full time, and he usually spends about an hour each day and on the weekends with ds.
Here dh works a lot, and I stay home and homeschool. My dh does do things like teach life skills, yard work, carpentry, woodcarving, knots, scouting, camping, and he loves science experiments including disection so he does that with them. He doesn't have the patience or consistency for homeschooling, but that is okay. As a team we work together for our family. I say if a family is happy and it's working for them then it's all good.I think those life skills are awesome. I still count all that as hs'ing, because it's like combining art, home ec, shop, and science in one. Very cool of your dh. :thumbup1:
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My husband (John) and I have been home schooling our ds together since last October, when we pulled him from his charter school. Our son had been happy with the charter school in K and 1st grade; but the second grade posed a lot of challenges, in the form of pressure on the students to begin preparing for the TAKS (3rd grade EOY test). Also, he was missing too many days due to complications with his asthma, and was in danger of being booted out to his local ps, and having to repeat the entire semester (despite having straight A's).
Anyway, I had already been considering hs'ing, when the absentee issue came to a head; my dh then mentioned that he was strongly considering hs'ing, and I told him I was thinking the same thing. So, since it was a mutual decision, we have undertaken this as a tag team effort. I tend to cover Jackson's grammar, reading, writing, and science, and dh has been teaching him French, history, and social studies. We both work on math with him.
It seems to work well for ds, and I was wondering if there were other families here where hs'ing is a co-parenting project? Does it work well for you, or do you find it difficult to agree on the way to approach some subjects?
Also, if it's not a mom + dad effort, is it because of your preference, or because it's just not practical, etc.?
Polite discussion and debate is welcome, but please remain respectful. :001_smile:
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I do get what you are each saying. I agree with the "spectrum" concept and where kids fall on that... and letting them just be themselves.
I really don't like boys being put down for being sensitive, etc. or girls being held back because they have a "traditionally boy" hobby/desire/... So, I agree with that.
But, I still do believe that men, generally speaking, get less emotional and are better suited (not all men... and some women do fit in here) for some occupations. And many women are strong nurturers... best suited for sahm ideals (not that a dad cannot if he really desired that...). I don't think it's damaging to children to recognize those differences. I think it's responsible to let children explore those roles on both sides and to not hold them back if they feel one way or another... or put them down. (Although I would draw the line at boys wearing girls clothing... but I have no problem with gender neutral clothing)
I guess I agree with both sides to a certain extent. (Can you tell I am a peace-maker... mercy type person??)
What a great topic and I enjoy both threads... things to ponder...
And an aside... this last year one of my sons was being labeled as gay because he speaks femininely and walked very girlish. I took him aside and talked about it. He didn't WANT to be labeled that way (at school). We talked about his posture and how to walk more like the "guys". He works on not coming across that way to others. He continues to LOVE cooking and nature and crafts. And that's fine.
Anyway, great discussions!
I understand, but I don't see any purpose in "helping" children to "recognize" that, to use your own example, men are less emotional than women. In my experience, men are not less emotional. Men simply are conditioned to express certain emotions, like anger, or humor, very openly, and one at a time. Because these type of emotions may be expressed in an aggressive way, they are acceptable to the masculine image.
Women get labeled more "emotional" because they tend to express "weaker" emotions, like crying, and may express a jumble of emotions, like laughing and crying at the same time. They are regarded as weaker, more unstable, as a result, because the masculine is normative in our society, and therefore superior and more desirable.
I will tell you that I if my husband passed, I wouldn't marry again. Ever. Because men are way too high maintenance; they tend to bottle up their very real, very turbulent emotions, and therefore not be very experienced in dealing with them, until they explode. They often have egos that are easily offended, and they make very emotional decisions, like purchasing that hot red sports car, because they are feeling the need to assert their macho image, for example.
In my marriage, I'm the one who is the non-romantic, practical disciplinarian. My husband is 9.5 years older than me, so it's not a maturity issue. We both grew up in traditional, evangelical homes. The problem is, he is an artistic soul, and very sensitive.
I will say that being raised in a masculine vs. feminine dichotomy damaged him in ways that he is affected by to this day.
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Great minds, and all that. ;)
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I agree that boys and girls have physiological and hormonal differences. I also agree that you have the right to raise your children as you see fit. I tend to view gender as a spectrum, with some children falling at the extreme ends of their gender roles, but most falling in the middle, with a good deal of overlap.
The only issue I have is when parents use gender as the standard for how to respond to a child, instead of that child's own individual personality. Or, using gender as the reason to push one child, but discourage the other from certain goals and activities.
It's the parent's right to do these things, of course; I just think doing so is ethically wrong, and potentially quite harmful to the child.
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Yeah, that's what I meant by the school district frowning on it. I don't know the specifics, and it's pretty much irrelevant to our situation anyway. Ds is only 8, so you know, pretty much all sports are community based at that age anyway. But, I was told by another home schooling mom here, who happens to be a teacher, that it is "legal." Just don't ask me how they work that out, because I have no clue! :confused:
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Ooohhhh, ok! Thanks for explaining that! I think I know why I haven't heard of them before, and that's because I'm in Texas.
In Texas, all homeschooling is equivalent to private schooling, so there aren't any standards really. There is a single court case the defined what subjects you must cover, but there is no attendance policy, or testing, or anything like that.
What we do have in our area, are these part-time private schools. Maybe that is similar to an umbrella school? We are considering one near us that is a classical education private school, where ds would go to school Tuesdays and Thursdays, but all schooling is ultimately under the parents' auspice. It's kind of a joint effort between the home schooling parents and the teachers.
Also, I think that home schoolers are allowed to participate in ps sports or things like band, but it's kind of frowned upon by the local school district. We don't need it anyway, since ds plays hockey for a house team at a local rink, and takes Tae Kwon Do. Plus, there's lots of options for community based sports around here.
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You know, I've always thought that by giving her child a name so similar to her own, that Casey showed her narcissistic colors from the beginning. I don't think Caylee ever represented anything to Casey except an extension of her egotistical self, and a tool to be used and discarded as she pleased.
I am against the death penalty, but in Casey's case, I really can't spare a tear if she gets put down like the animal she is.
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i just wanted to say while you have every right to your opinion, i am a muslim woman married to a muslim man and i am in NO Way 2nd class and never have been because true Islam doesn't make women second class its people with twisted mentalities that do. some of the most important people in the history of islam are women and alot of important knowledge came from and was taught to other men by women.
i don't agree with a child getting married and when i say this i mean child by the definition in Islam which is someone who hasn't hit puberty. i am against forcing someone to get married because this is a cultural issue as well as genital mutilation and honor killings. [/Quote]
Amirah, my comment on Islam was that, having read the creation story in the Quran, and having consulted with two Muslim scholars, that the religion definitely relegates women to a second class status. You disagree, and I respect that. Your husband may be a fantastic, wonderful man. But, just as there are many wonderful Christian husbands, there are wonderful Islamic husbands, too; however, both owe their awesomeness to their basic, human decency, not to the religion they practice. Because both Islam and Christianity put men on a pedestal, and consign women to subservient roles.
Also, I already pointed out that the issue of FGM has its origins in obscure cultural roots; but, it is the sexist attitudes inherent in Islam and Christianity which are at least partly responsible for keeping these practices alive and well. I have tried to make it clear in this thread that I'm not singling out Islam at all--I also hold Christianity, Hinduism, and other religions responsible for sexism in their teachings.
Once again: if religion affirmed the equality of status between men and women, in all aspects of life (spiritual, intellectual, physical, etc.), then the many of these practices and beliefs would fall out of favor, and it wouldn't be taboo for young girls to practice self-determinism.
side note: i know some may get tired of me jumping in and standing up for Islam. i have to do it i don't think ppl have to agree but i have to at least say the truth. i can't sit back and let people perpetuate false stereotypes or misguiding of some people as the teachings of the my religion when its notI understand that you need to defend your faith, but I also am no less convinced of my own opinion, based on my own study of Islam. That study has included reading the Quran, the hadith, the history surrounding the Prophet, and talking with Muslims I know.
Please believe me, that I don't hold you as any less kind or intelligent than any Christian or other religious person, because I disagree with your particular religion. Muslims face a lot of prejudice and suspicion in our society, and I just want to make it clear that even though I disagree with many aspects of Islam, I have found many things to respect about my Muslim friends.
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Pardon me for asking...but, what is an umbrella school?
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The Egyptian Copts (Christian) and certain African Christian societies also practice it, as well as the brutal FGM.
I brought Christianity into this because it contains a great deal of sexism, and sexism is at the heart of what is happening to this girls and women. As I stated before, we can hardly stick our noses into these societies, when there are many groups right here in our society that practice and promote inequality between the sexes. All we're talking is difference of degree.
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Just b/c something is popular does not make it valid.
I am so frustrated when I hear of submission being so narrowly viewed and understood. Yes, wives are called to submit, but so are husbands.
I'm really tired of it only being viewed from the perspective that its about male domination. Its not. That's not how it was written, thats not how its meant to be. Just b/c ppl twist things doesn't make it valid in the slightest.
When a married cpl submit to each other, how is that NOT equal?
Nobody who knows me would ever, EVER accuse me of being a doormat. In fact, they'd likely choke to death at the very thought. I do, however, believe in maritial submission by both of us. It is this mutual submission that has strengthened our marriage and allowed us to stand together in the face of adversity and trial.
My husband would be the last man on the planet to suggest I'm lesser than he. He praises my strengths to anyone and everyone that listens. He couldn't handle a doormat, it would make him nuts.
So, pls consider that just b/c some abuse, misinterpret, slant, skew information does not make it valid, not for everyone, not by a long shot.
Doesn't make it 'valid' at all. It makes it a twisted sliver of truth...which becomes a lie.
But are men and women being called by the scriptures to submit equally to each other? I submit to you (pun intended) that they are not.
The fact that the scriptures call for a husband to be considerate and loving of his wife, and to even be willing to sacrifice his life for her, does not negate the fact, that he is still named her head. Her authority, even as Christ is the authority of the Church.
If that analogy is taken to its logical conclusion, then his authority over her is viewed as being as complete as Christ's is over the Church. And since Paul equated all women with Eve, as being likewise so susceptible to deception that all of us require a man to guide us, it is not just his authority that is regarded as superior. It is also his wisdom, his intellect, his judgment.
So, if man is as to wife, as Christ is as to the Church, then his authority and superiority over her are unassailable, as God's is over us, from a Biblical standpoint. Therefore, even when a man fails to uphold the charge to treat his wife well, his authority does not depend on his compliance with that. His authority is not in danger of being revoked.
Again, nowhere in the NT it states that if a woman is mistreated by her husband, that she is justified or entitled to defying his authority over her, or to divorce him. If he does not honor her, she has no recourse, Biblically, speaking. She can take it to her church pastor, or a counselor, but they will focus on reforming the husband, instead of reforming the power balance in the relationship.
On an ethical level, this is the same exact position of the girls and women in third world society. Many of their cultures promote good treatment of women as well (Islam has its positive verses on how men should treat their wives, and how wives have certain rights to divorce). However, when individual men choose to act according to their base instincts, there is no spiritual authority affirming the rights of these girls and women to defy the men in their lives. Oh sure, it's tolerated from time to time; but it's not often encouraged, and it's even more rarely something positively regarded. They do not want the model revised from its male-top, female-bottom ideal.
Finally, I understand that my position is upsetting to you, because you certainly don't like to think of yourself as being in an inferior position, and you have a good marriage with someone who I am sure is very kind. AS YOU SHOULD FEEL! I do not believe for a second that your husband is bullying you around, based on your response to me.
However, the fact that your husband is considerate of your feelings, and takes them into consideration, is due to basic human decency, and respect and love for you, as a person.
It is not due to scriptural mandate--even though they command him to treat you well, they do not make that requirement a condition of his continuing authority over you, understand? The only compunction he has to be the great guy he is, is his own conscience. If he was a different person, they would not strip him of his authority. The authority is conferred as an accident of birth (the fact he is XY), and not according to his character. Paul wrote in Romans 11:29: God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable. This is significant, because it establishes once again, the indelible nature of the gifts and authority that are assigned to various believers.
This is not a new or unusual concept, by the way. The OT and NT are entirely consistent on this point, as demonstrated by the fact that even when King Saul went mad and was a complete tyrant, NO ONE WAS ENTITLED TO REMOVE HIM FROM HIS CAPACITY as king over Israel -- again, another allusion to Christ and the Church. Which again, carries over to the husband and wife relationship.
That is why I maintain that traditional, literal Christianity ultimately does not uphold the equality of the sexes, anymore than other societies and religions.
And until women are regarded as the equals of men IN EVERY REGARD, especially decision-making power, we will continue to see symptoms of this inequality taking the form of everything from female genital mutilation in Africa, to the home schooled Christian girl in Georgia who is discouraged from going to college, so she can just marry and have babies.
P.S. I also have an awesome spouse. And in 10 years of marriage, we have never yet come upon a problem that we didn't solve together. Some decisions he has had more input, because he happened to know more about the situation or subject. Other situations, I had the final word, because I was more qualified to make that call. We work as a team, we solve our problems as a team, and we make decisions as a team.
Pregnancy size question
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Ultrasounds are considered pretty reliable early on in pregnancy, and up to around 30 weeks. It's late in pregnancy that they can have a positive or negative error margin of up to 2 lbs.
However, measurements, especially if they have been done consistently since early pregnancy, are considered quite reliable. If you are measuring ahead a few weeks, that's not usually a huge cause for concern. But, if you are measuring ahead consistently, and by a large margin, then most OBs and midwives will want to take a closer look to rule out anything serious.
Ultrasounds AND measurements showing a bigger measurement, so long as you are sure your dates are accurate, would be viewed as credible evidence that the baby is likely bigger than average. But again, you would generally have a consistent pattern of measuring ahead.