Aspasia
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Posts posted by Aspasia
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15 hours ago, A.M. said:
If you want to use WWE then I'd say have a look at level 3. What I really appreciated about WWE is that it taught me how to teach narration skills to my children. At one point we hardly used the book anymore but started using different materials, including whatever they were reading or the McGuffey readers, to cover these foundational writing skills.
This is actually why I ended up leaving WWE 1 years ago--we learned how to do it and then moved on to our own texts that were relevant to what we were learning or reading at the time.
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18 hours ago, Clarita said:
I'm frustrated because I can't find where I originally found this. But somewhere I had read that to begin narration with a child to simply have a conversation with them about something they did or something they are interested in. (I did with my son when he was a preschooler but hopefully it can work for your 9 year old.) I didn't start narration with books or things I read to him. I started by asking him about his interest and having a conversation about it with him. I even found these conversations were more productive when I didn't know anything about the topic and he was the expert.
This established the habit and established that narration isn't a test with right or wrong answers but it's just communicating what you know.
We've always done a lot of this, but this particular child has always frozen up. She struggles to articulate her thoughts about literally everything, even the things I know she loves or knows a ton about. That's actually what has made me think about going back to basic narration--like, maybe if it's just about retelling someone else's ideas instead of thinking up her own ideas and then articulating them, it would free her up? I don't know.
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I've sort of dropped the ball with my two younger kids, ages 9 and 11. I trusted that they would follow a more organic path of writing development like my older kids (with just copy work, dictation, and lots of free writing, until it was time to learn more formal formats). But it hasn't really worked out that way. Now, they are in need of some remediation, especially the 9yo, who is a VERY reluctant/resistant writer and really just struggles with having anything to say at all, written or spoken. She seems to shut down whenever she is asked a question, even casually, can't really describe or retell anything. The 11yo has different struggles. Very loquacious, and when she writes, she can go on for days, but her spelling and punctuation are atrocious.
Do you think WWE would be helpful? And if so, which level? I am familiar with the program, as I used it a bit with my oldest before I went super casual, (because she was naturally developing the skills on her own). Just not sure if I should start from the beginning or jump in at level 3 or 4. Or something else?
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Looking to start one. Any tips or guidance? I could use info from the ground up. Thanks!
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7 hours ago, SKL said:
Not a homeschooler, but we've experienced a lot of those attitudes also. Starting around age 12 or 13, everything Mom ever did or chose has been wrong, wrong, wrong. 😛 You would not believe how much flak I've gotten for serving healthy foods, re-teaching math, going to museums, doing sports together, volunteering together, and enrolling them in fun summer camps. So I'm posting this to say, don't take it personally against you or your home school.
The move may indeed have been a setback as far as your homeschool routine. Would it help to take a break from some subjects to do the following:
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Discover your new location. Maps, local history, community amenities. Have the kids choose and plan visits (including driving directions etc) to said amenities / historic places.
- Also include plans to go back and visit the City.
- If you haven't already done so, try to find at least one local recreational activity / group for each kid to join.
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You now live rural enough to plant food? Work together on planning, starting, and cultivating a garden and then enjoying the results. (No doubt there are some science lessons hidden in there, but maybe don't talk up that aspect of it.)
- If you can also do something with animals, even better.
- Are there home improvements to be done in the near future? Work together on planning these, including dimensions, colors, purchases, schedules. (Again ... some math and even a tiny bit of art in there, but we're not talking about that.)
I've also had a hard time with one of my teen daughters just not being into anything, even though she actually has a long list of hobbies/interests and friends. She just could not figure out a purpose for her existence. And without that sort of (tentative) anchor, it was harder to make educational choices or see a purpose in them. While this is frustrating for all involved, in our case at least, it just needed time. She now has a view of what career she wants to pursue, and we can discuss a lot of the "why's" with that in mind. So again ... possibly just an age and personality thing, and hopefully it resolves as your teen learns more about himself and about the world.
All that said, it's not a bad idea to look at the local schools and see if they would be a viable option for some or all of your kids at some point.
These are great ideas. We have definitely been going back to the city a lot because we still have some sports and classes to wrap up (which, honestly, has probably made it harder to orient ourselves in our new place). At the same time, they are involved in new sports teams here in our new town, and the high schooler is doing a really cool teen volunteer program nearby. Once thecity things are done, and now that dd is done with her AP tests, maybe we can get out and enjoy learning about our new town and state a bit. That seems like it should have been an obvious move, huh? But I think with all the time we missed during the move, I have given in a lot more to pressure to "catch up." Thank you for this reminder to take it easy and let the learning be a little different for awhile.
And yes, we are planning a garden and some chickens! Kids are super excited, especially the high schooler.
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Discover your new location. Maps, local history, community amenities. Have the kids choose and plan visits (including driving directions etc) to said amenities / historic places.
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14 hours ago, Eos said:
Hugs to you, OP, such a tough spot.
I appreciate what Heartstrings is saying about seeing screen time with a different lens. The biggest risk of screens is ennui, in my opinion.
Cognitive dissonance can help - I love the idea of May term, and everything else that PeterPan said.
There are other ways besides school at home and sending to school. Are there people nearby who do interesting things and might be willing to mentor your kids? I feel strongly that this was a big part of my kids retaining their love of learning. Connecting kids with a grown-up who's doing cool stuff and loves it is the single biggest piece of advice I have for any homeschoolers. True mentoring is different than just teaching - it's the mentor also showing the kid their expertise and their passion for the topic which is inspiring in multiple ways. It's also different than taking a group class because it gives space for the relationship between them to flourish one-on-one.
Obviously, you need to carefully consider fit and safety, and the reality that some grown-ups just aren't good mentors even if they see themselves this way. I've found mentors who were retired or still working, some I paid, some I made meals for, some had my kid help them with projects like stacking wood. My kids have (individually) spent time doing the following and more with mentors: rock climbing including learning to build anchors and lead; music theory; mad-scientist chemistry; costume design, sewing, horse care; watercolor painting; botany. It's usually started with me arranging a lesson or two and then discerning whether it seems like a worthwhile situation to support. Sometimes it just peters out and the child has still gotten something good out of it. If it's a real fit and the child is inspired, then finding them books, videos, performances, and even college majors all flow easily from the subject being shared.
I don't really know anyone else who does this but it's been a huge part of our homeschool.
I love this idea! Definitely going to chat with kids and look for some mentors. Thank you so much!
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20 hours ago, Heartstrings said:
Perhaps there was a more delicate way to say it, but I did feel like something needed to be said about it. She used very dismissive language describing her son's interests. She clearly doesn't see value in Pokemon, video games, or sports. It's hard for a kid not to take that personally, which is going to be detrimental to the parent-child relationship and there is no real way to hide that from our kids. That's the plot line of so many kids' TV shows and movies, where the academic-minded parents have to learn to support their sporty kid, or the sporty family has to learn to accept their more academic-oriented child. Our kids aren't carbon copies of us and that has to be ok.
Working on the relationship is common advice for bad attitudes. This would be a good place to start working on the relationship.
There is a lot to find valuable in Pokemon and video games and sports. Sports seem obvious, of course, but Pokemon and even video games can be worthwhile hobbies for a young teen. My youngest kiddo plays Pokemon at a local comic book store most weeks. It's actually got a lot of problem-solving and strategy to it, not to mention the social and competitive aspects. It's no less valuable as a pursuit than playing chess would be. And for all the derision towards video games, they can have really sophisticated storylines, incredible world-building and require complex problem-solving. There are things to value in these activities, if you look for the good.
I most definitely do value sports. If you saw our family schedule (and my own life as a youth and an adult), you'd know that sports are actually a primary value in my life. That was just a part of the list of things he loves, which I'm actually not dismissing. I participate in them with him. They just aren't sufficient in themselves as an education, which is what he would prefer.
You seem really defensive of screens. Do your thing. I see value in some screen time, but I choose to limit it because I prefer how my kids spend their time when they're NOT on screens. That's my thing. You do yours.
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21 hours ago, PeterPan said:
So she's doing AP/online classes and her private pursuits. What is she doing socially in or in a group or in a way that gets her RECOGNIZED with pecking order, achievements, success? Her world HAS to expand beyond her family. I only had two kids, so don't listen to me. I just think their world has to become bigger than their family so they can launch. Make her world BIG; get her out of her bedroom. Send her somewhere for three months. Get her out.
We just moved from NYC, where this kid had a super active social life. She was out and about all over the city with her friends all the time. We hosted large groups of teens at our apartment every week for game nights and whatnot. She took fun homeschooling classes at the Met. She plays soccer. If anything, my kids could use LESS social time.
And the move also gave everyone a few weeks off from school while I unpacked and got settled in. But I know the upheaval is taking its toll on everyone for sure. Probably me most of all! *Sigh* This is hard.
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On 5/4/2023 at 11:42 PM, Heartstrings said:
Ont thing that stood out reading your description is that I don’t see any social time. You said you’re active with activities and culture, but are your teens getting hang out time with friends of their choice to be frivolous and silly? Outside of a structured event or activity, so not youth group. That is a real need for a lot of teenagers.
You’re oldest might be burned out, dual enrollment and APs in 10th grade might honestly be too much. That’s not college prep, it’s college in high school. There is something to be said for doing high school level work in high school. Maybe she needs the rigor backed off a bit. Not to slacker land, just down from college level to maybe honors level high school for a few subjects. Save the DE and AP for only a select few classes.
You seem very dismissive of your sons interest. I can tell from a few sentences that you don’t value his interest, it’s likely he feels that and interprets it as rejection. That might fuel some bad attitudes.
Oh, they have TONS of social time. We have a very active homeschool community, tons of groups and activities. Lots of sports. And they spend lots of unstructured time with friends. If anything, honestly, they could use LESS of that, because most of your life is running around meeting up with friends. anything that's not fun feels like a drag.
I'm not dismissive of my son's interests. But Pokemon and video games aren't school. Fun is fun, but sometimes we have to get things done.
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On 5/4/2023 at 3:58 PM, 8filltheheart said:
It may sound trite, but don't accept the complaining and attitudes. A rotten apple spoils the bushel is a true statement. Negativity feeds negativity: IOW, it's contagious.
Children need to understand that not all emotions deserve to be recognized or expressed. We are rationale beings who possess the ability to control our emotional responses to situations. Dislikes and likes are not the basis for how humans function. Life is full of duty which might be a drudge, but without fulfilling our daily obligations, how would life actually function?
Maybe have a discussion and prove its validity. You go on a laundry, cooking, cleaning, driving, and providing strike for a day. (No tv, no internet,no phone, no lights.....no $$ from a job paying for those luxuries means you don't have them.) Bills are paid from earning $$ from working. You want to eat? Someone has to pay for the food, go to the store and buy it, prepare and cook it, and clean up afterward.
If everyone doesn't fulfill their role in a family, chaos will reign. One person not carrying their weight puts the burden on others. One person's complaining impacts the atmosphere of the entire household! A child's job is to learn.....to learn academic skills, social skills, life skills. Complaining about a given is not acceptable. If they don't like something, they need to learn to just keep it to themselves and grin and bear it. If they want to be a constant negative, then there should be consequences for making everyone else endure their miserable attitude.
FWIW, I do believe sometimes there are justified complaints. Those need to listened to and addressed. Sometimes an assignment is so overwhelming that it needs to be broken down into more manageable pieces or a better foundation provided. But that is distinctly different than laziness or self-pity bc they want to play vs. work. Hormones can also wreak havoc on emotions. But, learning to cope with emotions is a life skill. Being controlled by emotions and desires is the alternative. IOW, just because you have an emotion or a desire does not mean it is an appropriate response.
Oh, I was so hoping you would respond! I love this advice, and definitely think we could use a family meeting where we talk about this stuff and I just make it clear that I won't be entertaining the complaints. I have sort of been saying that to a couple of the habitual complainers (after I explained why we have to do it a hundred times before I realized that they aren't actually interested in why, they just don't want to do it). But this is just good life advice. I've been realizing lately that much of our problems as a society are rooted in obsessing over every little feeling and giving emotions way more energy than they deserve. Thank you so much.
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On 5/4/2023 at 1:06 PM, cintinative said:
Are there any family stressors or other situations that are impacting your day-to-day that could be a sort of "emotional/mental load" your kids are carrying in addition to school? (For example, illness, taking care of grandparents, new work situation for a parent, etc.)?
Well, we did just move to a new state. And from a big city to a rural/exurban community. The whole moving process has definitely thrown us off. And my husband and I have been having a lot of relationship issues as well. I'm definitely not at my best. These homeschool problems predate any of this, but I'm sure it's not helping!
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We are in our 11th year of homeschooling, so we're not newbies. This is all my four kids have ever known. But we are in a major rut, and if I'm being honest with myself, we have been for a long time (probably the last 2 years). Homeschooling used to be joyful but now my kids complain about EVERYTHING. All. day. long. I feel like my entire day is spent managing people's attitudes and pulling teeth to get them to do the bare minimum (math, reading, copy work, some writing).
My 10th grader used to be the poster child for homeschooling--cheerful and curious and engaged and creative. She was always busy making things and learning about various interests on her own. She was amazing. Now she thinks everything is a drag. She spends all day in her room doing her work (or dawdling and getting behind). I've asked her, if she could design her entire school year herself, choose how to spend each day, what would it look like? I'm met with grunts and shrugs. In the end, she's pulling it off, doing DE and AP courses and some others. She's checking the boxes for a college prep high school experience, but she's not happy like she used to be. (Personal interests are art and music, which she does spend at least 2 hours on every day, so it's not like she isn't investing what matters to her most.)
My 7th grader has always been my biggest attitude challenge, but it's reached new heights. He's gotten to the age where now he's asking what the point of life is, because every day he just gets up and does his school (which he hates) and that's it. We have a very active sports and cultural life--we spend lots of time going to museums and plays and homeschool group activities...all of which he complains about the whole time. He thinks school is pointless, he doesn't care about any of it. The only way to get him to do the basics is to offer incentives. Never mind about anything beyond that. He gets mad and feels victimized if his school work takes longer than 2 hours, because he still thinks he should be able to race through it and play for the rest of the day (like when he was little). This, despite about a billion conversations over the last few years about how to manage his expectations and to expect his work to take longer because he's getting older. When asked what he would like to learn, same thing with the grunts and shrugs. If left entirely to his own devices, he would spend all day on...well...devices. We are a very low-screen family, but he's always, always wanting more and more video games. He has no interests outside of Pokemon, video games, and sports.
My 5th and 3rd graders just complain about every single math page or bit of copy work. They hate everything. Third grader groans every day about how pointless math is, asks why she has to do it, etc. I've engaged in these conversations with her about a thousand times, trying to help her school work have meaning in her life. At this point, I'm done. It's very clear that she isn't actually interested in the why, it's just a way to complain and stall. Don't even get me started on more fun things like history or science. Nobody wants to do any of it. What's fun to me, and I think to most kids, is apparently not fun to mine.
Every single day has become a slog and now I kinda hate homeschooling. I've tried to add things to brighten up our days, I've asked them for input, I've tried switching to a more open project-based approach where they can choose what they learn about and choose how to express their learning (I compiled a list of project ideas for them to choose from or draw inspiration from), but they just moan and say they hate learning and aren't interested in anything.
I see all these homeschooled kids who have various learning interests that they enthusiastically pursue on their own: WWII, Ancient Egypt, astronomy, literature, whatever. I always assumed that, given enough time and freedom and support, mine would eventually find theirs, too. Why don't my kids have any interests at all? The kicker is that I'm a VERY enthusiastic learner. Way more so than your average adult. I always have a new obsession I'm learning about, tearing through nonfiction books and sharing cool things with my family. Everywhere we go, I'm engaged in learning about everythign around me--I read about it beforehand, soak up all the learning resources onsite, cheerfully try to bring my kids in...and they just resist, resist, resist. I feel like I've failed at the number one goal of homeschool moms everywhere--to inspire a love of learning. 😭 What have I done wrong? Why are my kids so uninterested in learning? How do I fix this? Or should I just give up and send them to school? Because honestly, none of us are happy right now.
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My husband works for a Toronto-based company that wants to promote him, and they prefer that we move up there (from NYC). I’m not super excited about that prospect, but I’m always open to exploring new opportunities and I‘m always open to being surprised. We are going up there at the end of the month to explore, but I was hoping I could get some insights from a homeschool perspective.What is the homeschool community like? Our kids are 15, 12, 10, and 8, so we're especially concerned about the offerings for older kids. Additionally, we are big into sports, especially competitive soccer and gymnastics, so access to those opportunities is important to us.Also, we’re kind of over city life in general and we were planning to leave NYC next spring anyway, so we probably would not live right in Toronto. We kinda want something rural (we don’t like the suburbs), but the kind of rural that has great art, theater, history, culture, good restaurants, social diversity, etc. Does the greater Toronto area have anything similar to, say, the Hudson Valley?What is it like to be an American in Canada? We generally think of it as pretty much the same as the U.S., but what would remind us that we’re definitely foreigners? Haha.How bad is winter up there? I actually really enjoy winter…for the first few months. NYC’s winter starts to push my limits beginning in March and definitely when it drags into April. How much worse is it in Toronto?Thanks so much for any insights you can offer!
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11 hours ago, HS Mom in NC said:
You should define what you mean by winter and south. Tennessee, Virginia, and North Carolina are temperate zones that have all 4 seasons and they are all culturally and geographically considered The South.
For me, winter means snow and temps below 30.
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11 hours ago, City Mouse said:
I was going to suggest the eastern panhandle even befor I read the other responses. I grew up in Martinsburg and my dad commutes to DC back in the ‘80’s when there weren’t as many commuters as there are now.
New Mexico meets a lot of your criteria, but it isn’t as green as WV. (I mean actual green as in trees. NM is desert and brown much of the year.
We actually have NM on our list, specifically Santa Fe. We have visited and I absolutely love it there. I grew up in Utah and always found the desert ugly, but after 12+ years on the East Coast, I learned to not only appreciate it, but to actually crave it.
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3 hours ago, Toocrazy!! said:
They’ll even pay you to move:) https://ascendwv.com
Shepardstown is in the very eastern panhandle, but I think it’s about 90 minutes from DC so not within the hour. WV is pretty conservative on the whole, but this area has a lot of DC commuters and definitely leans more liberal than the rest of the state.
We've been to WV a couple times (lived in NOVA for 9 years) and it's SO lovely! I will add that to my list, for sure.
2 hours ago, rdj2027 said:Aspasia,
We have lived in both Massachusetts (just outside Boston) and New Hampshire (Dover/Portsmouth area) and never had any issues (other than a grumpy old lady as a neighbor). The more remote mountain areas might be different but my BIL and SIL lived in a tiny town in the White Mountains and people there were very nice too. To me NH is more pragmatic and direct rather than conservative in a more political sense, if you ask someone's opinion, you will get it. The Portsmouth area is quite liberal and artsy but it is definitely small town feeling. Boston was diverse but then, it is also a much bigger city and the area around it reflects that. Educational opportunities are far greater in the Boston but the more rural aspect has its own charms, depends on what you like. Medical is okay for the normal things, for special care we went to Boston (autism related).
NH has no income or sales tax but real estate taxes are quite high. My husband used to take the train down to NYC and DC, was faster and easier than flying or driving (especially in the winter) so there was that. We liked living in both places though we are kicking around the idea of staying where we currently live. Apart from the costs, Hawaii is a good place for older people. If you have any specific questions, feel free to pm me.
This is super helpful, thank you. I like pragmatic and direct. And my husband would actually prefer the train as well. He used to take it between NY and DC a lot. MUCH easier than flying.
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18 minutes ago, rdj2027 said:
Massachusetts or New Hampshire
Both of these are definitely on our list. Are you very familiar with New Hampshire? One of my big concerns is that I hear native New Hampshire residents (what do they call themselves? haha) don't care for the influx of "outsiders," especially from New York. Is that true? I don't want to go somewhere where we'll be resented or shut out. We aren't the kind of people who intend to move there and change it or complain about it. And I understand NH is relatively conservative, but we're not raging liberals or anything. I don't know. We were really excited about NH and then I started hanging out on their City-Data forum and they made it seem like New Yorkers are NOT welcome.
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Please help me narrow down our options! It’s overwhelming to not have your place of residence be dictated by a job. We are currently in NYC and love it here, but cost of living and other things have us thinking about leaving when our lease is up next year.Our needs/preferences:- We’d like at least a couple acres (we don’t like suburban life—it’s either the city or the country for us).- But we have to be within an hour of a great city, with museums, restaurants, youth sports programs (specifically boys and girls gymnastics teams), and all that jazz.- Also within an hour of a proper airport (or 1-2 hour drive/train to the city), because my husband will need to travel back to NYC once or twice a month, along with other occasional travel. (For this reason, he favors staying on the east coast, but we’re open to going west for the right location.)- Lower taxes, please! Preferably a state in the lower half of those overall tax burden rankings.- Lots of outdoor recreation opportunities, especially hiking trails and lakes.- All four seasons (yes, even winter--sorry, South).- Politically/socially moderate (does that even exist?)- Budget is $1.5-$2 million or so, depending on property taxes.Thanks for your insight!
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On 2/1/2022 at 9:58 AM, Clemsondana said:
One other thought that I had as I've read the responses is that this will also depend on how you did middle school. With my kids, they've had a checklist that they could do independently since early elementary.
Yes! We actually have always done this, too. The Checklist is a guiding principle in our school and our lives generally. My high schooler does still have a checklist, but because I'm less involved in her work, I'm trying to figure out how to keep tabs on all of it.
On 2/1/2022 at 7:15 AM, TheAttachedMama said:How I give assignments:
I use a program called Homeschool Planet to keep our family organized. I input assignments from all of their classes into one place. I use this for online classes that I have "out sourced" and classes I am teaching myself. I also use it to keep tabs on all of the other things my teens do in a day...from chores to reminders to prepare for events/appointments. (Example: Lay out your suit for debate and iron your shirt might appear on it!). It links automatically to our families digital calendar so I can see everything we have going on in the day--which also helps my kids and I to visually plan our time/cut things when we have appointments outside of the house.
It does take some initial work to set up, but then it gives me ONE place where I can look to see that ALL of my kids have done all that I have told them to. It is actually really nice. If my kid says, "I am done with school can I do X or Y?" I can quickly pull up their checklist and verify. 🙂. Easy!
I can also easily take days off (and the schedule adjusts), carry over assignments to the next week and shift the schedule -or- double up if we choose, work ahead, move assignment to days that were previously scheduled off (and see what that does to the rest of our year), etc.
How I keep my teens accountable:
Of course, a digital checklist only works if students are honest about checking things off. So if a student "says" they have finished math and checks off their little box, as an example, you still have to make sure they really DID finish math. Right? You can't just assume that a child is going to be honest all of the time about that stuff. And you have to make sure that a certain level of work is maintained. So, I've had to let them know that IF they tell me something is finished and "check" their box on homeschool, they had better be telling the truth. Otherwise there will be pretty strict consequences.
I've also built in lot of parental verification into their checklist, but I shift the burden of getting this done over to them. I have way too many "plates spinning" and if we have to rely on my memory alone, things are going to get messed up. 😉 Especially when I don't necessarily micromanage their time.
Some example of how I shift the burden over to them:
The math assignment doesn't just say: "Do math problems X-Z on pg. 123". It says, "Do math problems X-Z on pg. 123. Check using the key in the back of the book. Correct problems you have missed and ask for help on anything you don't understand. You can check this off when I have signed and dated the page." (A little copy and past when I entering in math assignments makes all of these reminders easy!
SO--the student is not able to mark this complete on homeschool planet until they have brought it to me (with a pen even) and showed me their completed work and I have signed it. Again, if they check it off before I looked at it, there are consequences....and I have proof with my signature (or lack of signature) that I didn't put eyes on it that day. I will often be teaching another child, and they will just come and show me their work and I will sign and date it. I will occasionally do a spot check too.
As another example with a class I am not teaching, their Latin teacher tells them to practice their quizlet flashcards each day. So their checklist does not just say "Study Latin vocabulary." It says: "Practice Latin flashcards on quizlet. Send me a screen shot when you are finished." This literally takes them 5 seconds to send to me. On their laptop, phone or tablet, they will quickly capture the screen and press share button. So even if I am busy with another child, they can work on this and get it "verified" when they want.
ETA: On stuff that I need to actually grade and review, I have a time scheduled each day with each child. Their homeschool planet checklist reminds them about their "meeting" time and it might say, "Bring your final draft to me at 1PM on Tuesday Feb. 1". I grade or review the stuff RIGHT then because I have found that timely feedback is important. (I used to have a grading basket, and that didn't work out well because I would get too far behind for real education to happen!).
AND....for all tests and quizzes (even for online classes), their homeschool planet checklist always says, "Take text 1. Your desk must be cleared and this must be proctored to count."
How do I work towards independence:
I stay hands-on in the beginning, and then SLOWLY....very SLOWLY, shift responsibility for things over to them as they prove they are ready for the responsibility. As an example, my 9th grader is taking AP Gov't with AIM Academy. So, I am not even teaching the class and assignments are given through canvas. I might be tempted to just say..."Go learn Gov't! Good luck!" But I dont' do that. At first, I will shadow the class (watch with them in the background) and get a feel for how the class will be taught and structured. I will even copy over their canvas assignments into homeschool planet in the beginning so they are reminded about what they have to do. And I will help the student to figure out how to plan their week and their time. (It takes a certain learning curve every year with every teacher and every new class or curriculum.). I keep close tabs to see how they are doing on due dates, grades, keeping up with their study. And then, *SLOWLY* as they show they are ready, I become less and less involved until it is mostly them. By October or November (typically) their homeschool planet checklist went from listing all things in AP Gov't with lots of checks to saying, "Go to canvas and complete assignments." I still monitor grades and due dates, but I only check once a week. If I notice there is any type of problem (ex. I noticed my daughter wasn't doing well on her physics tests), I know they need some help. So, with the physics example, I will show her how to better prepare and, for just awhile, add in reminders to help her review: "Rework odd homeswork problems as a review for exam." or "Review your class notes from yesterday in preparation for the exam". I stay involved until she starts to learn to do this on her own.
I also work towards independence with planning their time. 🙂
THANK YOU for all these details! I actually subscribed to Homeschool Planet the other day and I'm really excited about the possibilities.
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This feels like a ridiculous question because I've been homeschooling for almost 10 years and have never had a problem knowing whether or not my kids are completing their work. For my elementary and middle schoolers, I've always done the file system (you know, where I tear apart the workbooks, print the e-books, and file into 36 folders per kid), with all their written work for the week contained in a binder, divided into five days of work. I know how much progress we're making by looking at the number on the file folder we're currently on. Plus, I'm working alongside them, so I have a good sense of where they are and how they're doing. Super easy.
But now my oldest is in 9th grade and she's juggling a lot of textbooks and other materials, plus she does some of her work on her computer, none of which lends itself to my trusty file system. She's also working very independently. I've helped her break down how much of each thing she needs to do each week, and she made her own schedule for how she wants to accomplish that. I check in with her occasionally and look over her materials, and I do work with her on her writing assignments and things. But if I'm being honest, I'm probably not as hands-on with her as I should be, and I'm not as on top of her progress through her materials as I am with my younger kids.
What is your organizational system for your high schooler? How involved are you every day? Do you use an online planner to connect and keep each other apprised of assignments and progress?
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On 10/15/2021 at 10:05 PM, KungFuPanda said:
Your kids are going to grow SO fast. They can do individual activities all they want for the rest of their lives. You're only going to have THIS nuclear family in one place for four more years before everything changes. It's great if you can manage to schedule it all and still have regular, predictable family time. (Maybe breakfast instead of dinner?) However, if you're so overextended that the times you are ALL together is rare, you might want to rethink your schedule. LOTS of things are worthwhile, but you can't do ALL of those things at once. Overscheduling can make it unfun.
Oh my goodness....THIS IS EVERYTHING. This is golden wisdom. You're so right! I'm giving all my energy to my community and missing out on this precious time when all of my kids are here, which is dwindling faster and faster.
On 10/16/2021 at 3:04 PM, fairfarmhand said:Remember that every yes means you're saying no to something else.
Yes to some activities means a no to a home cooked meal.
Yes to some activities means a no to a "good" school day.
So to clear up things in your mind, any day that you say yes to something that eats into your school day, that means that you're compromising on the quality of education that your kids get.
YES. This is super helpful. This is exactly what I need to remember. I think I had myself convinced that I could make it work with really intense scheduling. But turns out, just because you can fit it on your calendar, doesn't mean you can fit it in your life. And once I make a commitment to others, I have a hard time letting them down or flaking out...which means I end up flaking on my kids. And that is SO DUMB, because obviously I care more about my kids and their education than I do about my reputation in the homeschool community. I need to get really brave and bail on some of these commitments.
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I had an epiphany last night as I was going to bed. I tend to be really good at decluttering things and I've observed that most people struggle with it because they approach it from the wrong angle. Most people go through their things asking whether something is still useable, whether they might use it in the future. And that's why they don't get rid of much. Most things can clear the hurdle of "useable." But when I declutter, I tell myself something like, "Okay, I'm only keeping 7 sweaters." And then I pick my favorite sweaters, and without even LOOKING through the others, I bag them up and toss them. Same with everything else. Name a number, choose my favorites, toss the others without fanfare.
That's what I need to do with my schedule! Duh! I need to identify a number of activities or hours that we can be gone for, choose my favorite activities that fit within that limit, and then unceremoniously toss EVERYTHING else. Kind of like Homeschool Mom in AZ said.
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10 hours ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:
This is my 21st year homeschooling my 3 girls (now 25, 23, and 16) K-12.
The best by far veteran homeschooling advice I ever got was, "Have 3 days a week you don't have to leave the house." When scheduling, the FIRST goal is carve out those 3 days. They're sacred. That's your sanity preservation. They can be any 3 days, but that means nothing is scheduled for those days: no classes, no grocery shopping, no appointments, no activities, no gatherings, no place of worship, nothing. I LOVE this advice. I have really tried to keep two weekdays completely open for this very reason. But somehow things creep into them. I definitely need to treat them as SACRED.
Then stack if you can. The best year we had was when we went on the same day of the week from piano lessons first thing in the morning, to a late morning art class, then PE in the early afternoon followed by unstructured social time with the PE participants after class. (I didn't run any of those, I paid for them without complaint so I wouldn't have to run them because I did all the old school homeschool mom teaching myself.) We packed a lunch, water bottles, and snacks the night before. We picked up dinner on the way home at the grocery store: packaged salad, roasted chicken, and packaged crusty bread. We were already out and about, so we may as well do as much out and about as we were able to handle and recover from. If you can't stack, then you'll have to do less because drive time on multiple days instead of one is mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. It's the price of admission and shouldn't be ignored as a price to pay. This is actually exactly what I did with all the activities that I lead. I've learned in the past that when I run an activity or teach a class, the prep, teaching, and coming back down end up bleeding into the rest of the day and make it hard to get much of anything else done. So this year, I stacked everything that I'm running on one day (except park day, because it really only entails sending out an email). Unfortunately, the prep for that day is EXHAUSTING and bleeds into the 2 or 3 days preceding it, which means it's really taking up like half the week.
An important principle: Only do today what you can completely recover from tomorrow. Each family and individual family member has different tolerances for that and to evaluate it, you need to have some cold, hard realism. Waaaaaaay too many homeschool moms are idealistic, which if not kept in check, is a trap. Get cold. Get hard. Get outside feedback if necessary. What does your husband say about scheduling? This is SUCH good advice. YES. I need to think about how we recover. The day after our big day out is mostly a recovery day, which we really, really need.
It sounds like you need to learn to prioritize more precisely. Asking yourself if it has value is the wrong question at the wrong time. Of course it has value. That's a brainstorming possibilities question, not a scheduling question. You need to move on to narrowing the field questions: If I could only do 1 of these activities, which 1 would I choose? No cheating. No saying 2 are equally good-they may be, but you have to choose 1. No letting yourself off the hook, this is an essential process to learn. Stick to the question: Which 1? After you have answered it and written it down as your number 1 priority, only then can you ask yourself: If I could do only 2 activities, which 2 would I pick? Again, no cheating. Write it down as #2. The process matters far more than the answers. Then keep going: If I could only do 3, which 3 would I pick? Keep going until you're prioritized them by number.
You can also try the reverse approach if that works better. Ask: If I were forced to remove 1 of these activities from my life, which 1 would it be? Write it down. You are allowed to cheat here and double up. Then move on to 2 activities, then 3 until they're all listed.
Now, plug in around your 3 days at home with nothing scheduled, stack when possible, all the while thinking about what you can recover from fully the next day.
If you're someone who needs a reason to do things, add in the reasons why. For example, due to financial issues at the time, we had to choose between piano lessons and Take Kwon Do (TKD) for my youngest. Articulating my reasons for choosing TKD made it easier to give up piano. TKD was the best choice for youngest because:
1. She needed regular, physically intense exercise to be a more contented person. Piano couldn't do that.
2. TKD was 3 days a week, giving us more bang for our buck, and it would mean more drive time and take up more days.
3. TKD offered physical, mental, and emotional discipline in a positive and encouraging way much more so than piano.
4. Being a S. Korean adoptee, TKD offered a cultural connection with her S. Korean immigrant master who was married to a Caucasian woman, so their family looked like our family. Piano didn't provide that.
5. Inside the TKD school S. Korean cultural rules applied, so she was getting heritage influence that piano (and my home) couldn't provide.
6. The Asian cultural norms at the school made it very attractive to Asian immigrant parents of all kinds, adding additional cultural influences that piano (and I) couldn't provide.
Not every activity will have anywhere near that many reasons to participate, but you get the idea. When I focus on what we're getting out of one and why that's better than the other, letting the other go is clearer and easier.Thank you so much for all of this super detailed, super helpful advice! This is exactly the kind of insight I need!
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20 hours ago, PeterPan said:
Are you CHARGING for these JOBS you are working? If you are charging, then it needs to be enough compensation that you can hire someone to do the housework that it not getting done.
I charge for the tours and journalism class, but my tour prices are quite a bit below market (because I don't want to gouge homeschoolers, which everyone around me has assured me is crazy because these tours take far more prep than standard tours for tourists--I'm coming up with games and activities to keep the kids engaged). But you're right that I should use that money to hire out the housework.
11 hours ago, Carolina Wren said:I'd start by reducing the city tours to quarterly unless you have people actually signed up with you to do all of them. (And even then, if they're free, stop after giving a few weeks' notice.)
I'd limit each child to one sport per season. So see if they're actually so into it that soccer this spring needs to happen (in which case you're dropping the other sports for those 9 weeks).
I'd make a plan to end the PE class at some point, no later than when spring sports would begin. If it's that important to people, another parent will take it over.
For laundry management, assign each person one day a week & provide the level of help required (which for your 14yo is probably just a reminder, "Today's your laundry day.") My 13yo is starting the washer as I type.
You do not have to run your area's entire range of activities for homeschoolers. Let other people do things so you have some balance.
I do have a bunch of people signed up for the tours, about 20 at a time. I've organized them into sets of 5 tours (which they pay for all at once), so after this current set, I'm definitely planning to scale back to biweekly or monthly.
AP Geography course reviews
in High School and Self-Education Board
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Looking for reviews on AP Geography at PA Homeschoolers, AIM, Blue Tent, or whatever else offers it. Thanks!