OhElizabeth, you have some great ideas and advice. Thank you! :). I'm taking notes and I feel some better about knowing we have to work with WHO she is as a person but I also see where (you were spot on) we need to add in more structured time with more accountability.
I will look into your recommendations. If you think of any other options to help, links or books, please share. We have been digging our way out of bad debt so I have to opt out of co-ops and classes that cost too much for our budget. Sports is usually played through our church, other than softball with a league and working with animals has been free because she's willing to work hard and feels being with the animals is her pay. Anything that you find free would be a great help! I'm out of the loop with most options available so I'm trying to figure these out.