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rwilliams

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Posts posted by rwilliams

  1. After reading some other posts....I just had to post again. I feel strongly that putting him in time-out alone for this is just mean. I believe in spanking my own son....so I am not a push-over Mom but this situation is different. He is so frustrated he can not stand it!! As Mom....if you have to stop a bad behavior do it with empathy and love and you help him to channel his frustration. Leaving him with this level of anger alone or without empathy is like abandoning him when he needs you most. Sorry to post such a strong response but I tend to have too much empathy for children in need and I see this as a need!

  2. I have worked with children who have delayed communication and have frustration like you are describing. I have ALOT of empathy for the child's frustration and would recommend really paying attention to him as much as possible. Just observing him......you will begin to recognize things that you may have been missing and will be able to meet his need and also give him a way to ask for it. Example......leave his juice cup where he can find it easily always in the same spot. When his is thirsty have him hand you the juice cup to indicate what he wants. If you have the time to watch him you will be able to figure out his wants more easily.

  3. I really like mm but we started in 3rd grade with it. I would make sure to use lots of manipulatives for math in early grades and not jump to symbolic too soon. I would use mm but supplement with extra hands on practice with outside manipulatives and games. The book Family math is an excellent resource for this.

  4. I have struggled with this feeling also! It seems like to get my ds to achieve academically I have to be "mean" or hard-nosed about things. If I relax he takes advantage and nothing gets accomplished. I haven't found a good middle ground. I miss being the favorite parent! I remember when I was so much fun. It seems like now it takes so much effort and time to get throught all the musts! Its also the same with good behavior! Sometimes I would just like not to have to correct or cue him and let him just do whatever. My husband is now the more favored parent and perceived as more fun.......I think his expectations are too low. I wonder if it is worth it in the long run? Lower your academic goals but have more fun with your kid? Let your kid misbehave alittle more but have to correct him less?

  5. One thing I have tried to do to help control my desire to eat is the stop looking forward to food. I on purpose do not plan exciting things to eat or buy things that I would really like. I have tried to reduce food to something I eat to be healthy, feel good and prevent hunger. I have tried to elevate exercise to the thing I look forward to....like food use to be. It is working for me. I also make sure I eat filling foods according to weight watchers. That way after I eat I really am not hungry. If I am hungry I eat.

  6. I think we need stuff to have things to do. My son has bins full of outside toys and he has always got sometype of game or fantasy he is acting out with all that stuff. My rule is that I only buy him things that I want to.....It has to pass my test of being good for you and not very expensive. I do not buy him things he typically wants unless it is a reward or a present or he can convince me why it would be good for him. I personally would lack of lot of my creative ideas in homeschooling if I didn't have closets and an attic full of stuff! I think buying the right stuff in moderation motivates us to try new activities and keeps us interested and excited about exploring the world.

  7. A recent sermom by my Pastor stuck with me...... He said that the first thing we were suppose to do when trouble comes is to give thanks. I go to a non-denomination Protestant church. This really seems like a strange idea to me.....but I believe in what I call "functional christianity" which means I am going to test these ideas to see if they really do me any good. Well, I have been testing this idea and surprise, surprise....it actually does work. At first, I felt really silly to give thanks for my problems but as I did, I noticed my thoughts and feelings changing.......I think it has something to do with helping me focus on my blessings even in the midst of so much trouble. Anyway.....this is a concrete thing that I have found works for me when I am facing a real problem. I try to start giving thanks for it.

  8. When my dd was little (5, 6, 7-ish) I watched the posts about pencil-phobic boys and chuckled because it sounded like my pencil-phobic girl. Years later, as the problem DIDN'T go away but actually got worse, we finally went to an OT (Occupational Therapist) to get some answers. In your case, you mentioned focus. ADD=attention deficit with no hyperactivity. It would play out as the mind wandering, impulsivity, working memory deficits, etc., but no hyperactivity. So when I read your post I actually see two flags to consider some evaluations. To me, having btdt and come to the other side, I don't think this handwriting fatigue thing is normal, not to the extent people let it go. I wanted my dd to be able to write a half page or page without her hand killing her. Turns out there were physical, FIXABLE causes.

     

    In our case the OT found some muscle tone and strength problems. If your core is weak, you slouch and all the weight goes onto your wrist, causing the pain. She gave us all kinds of things to do for core, shoulder, arm, and finger strength. She showed us how dd needed to sit and why (to shift the weight so it wasn't all on her wrist). She showed us things we could do immediately to stop the pain once it started. We took up horseriding which involved lifting the saddle, grooming the horse, etc., lots of shoulder and finger work there as well as the core strength from riding. KarenAnne has posts on this too. In one summer her dd went from pain with writing to able to write pages and pages! Now her dd got to ride more than mine. Nevertheless, we saw dramatic benefit and plan to do it again this summer.

     

    You asked if it's merely that he's not ready. I haven't taught a 7 yo boy, but when my dd was 7.5 it had nothing to do with readiness and DIDN'T go away by waiting. Homeschooling allows you to see all these things intimately. We start off with these dreams and assumptions about what kids do, and we get whomped with the reality of who they are. I did go through a stage where I thought xyz that I saw was a character problem, bad attitude, etc., and I grant that can happen. However, now that we've been doing some things to solve the physical problems (lots of work on strength to help her hand not hurt so much, sensory input to help the attention and focusing, vision therapy to help the eyes which btw would affect that copywork), it's like working with another child. *I* have concluded that kids desperately want to please, and that when it's not working they act out.

     

     

    I am an ot assistant and this is true. I would assume your son has legitimate issues with writing versus treating it as a discipline issue. I would also agree that addressing the underlying issues will help your son to write effectively. The first area to look at is stability. This can come from the chair/table positioning. It also comes from a sufficient trunk strength/stability.

  9. The biggest problem is to start the work. Once he starts it ,usually he doesn't complain . Actually most of the time he enjoys it. But he prefers online games or tv .

     

     

    If getting started is the main problem can you start school with something really enticing? A great read-aloud geared just for him? Can he do math while he eats a crunchy snack? Make getting to the table rewarding and once he is there and working slide in the less pleasant things. Also, reward his coming to the table everytime! My son really likes undivided attention and praise. Could you give him eye contact, praise and your attention for the first few minutes his starts his work?

  10. 10 minutes a day structured time 4 days a week. Lots of free play that includes drawing, coloring , painting and chalk. Vertical surfaces....easel, taping paper to refigerator at the right height work miracles for increasing distal control and proper grasp on small pieces of crayon, short pencils broken pieces of chalk.

  11. It seems that you mentioned in a previous post that you used the Waldorf philosophy previously which seemed less structured. If this is true......I do not think you should think your child may be LD until he has had enough instruction. My son has had a very structured math program since kindergarten and only this year(3/4) truly grasped math families fully. He could add and subtract and complete most activities but when you changed the format of the math family activity he had to be shown all over again. I have a computer game (free on a website) that helped him practice everyday. That seemed to be the one activity that helped him get it. I do not know how to post links but if you are interested I can get the website to you. Another math activity he does daily that really helps with generalization is daily word problems. It is an actual book called Daily word Problems and I started him off below grade level to build mastery and interest.

  12. I can't figure out if this is the enemy's voice I'm paying attention to. If not having any time to myself is causing the anxiety and irritability

     

     

    Just wanted to add my thoughts. In my early twenties, when I had a dilemma this is where my thoughts would take me......Is it God or the Devil talking in my head? I can tell you with absolute confidence that the way out of this thinking is away from that question. This is anxiety and stress talking to you not God. You need to find peace and balance before you try to make a decision. Do not try to figure this out in a state of anxiety and stress. When you find more balance.....your thinking will take less effort and without the emotional and religious overtones. One thing that helps me is a founding principle of Occupational Therapy.....a balance of work, rest and play. I use this idea when I am out of balance and thus stressed. Find your balance first. One more helpful thing I do.......Imagine God as a loving father who wraps his arms around you because you are upset....he is the source of your comfort not your stress!!

  13. Does it bother you if some one doesn't respond to your email?

     

    I don't know why, but I feel like I'm being ignored or that maybe people just don't like me. I try to think that maybe they haven't checked their email, but when days go by without a response, or if I'm waiting on a response from more than one person, it really hurts my feelings. I even opened up a new email account to try and figure out if it was a technical problem!

     

    My emails are generally short, usually about trying to set up a playdate or just connect because I haven't talked to some one in awhile. I never forward anything.

     

    Maybe my feelings are hurt because I'm at a weird place in my life right now. I've become sort of a recluse, transitioning between groups of friends, and emails and message boards is the majority of my social life.

    Funny thing is that I've been using emails to try and get a social life.

     

    Am I the only one that is bothered by not getting an email response?

     

     

     

     

    Here my suggestion to help get your social needs met. People are naturally attracted to those who seem vibrant and full of energy/excitement about things and life. Instead of looking for friends look for an activity that you would really enjoy. Become involved in that activity and I would bet that you will find people you naturally enjoy that way. I would try to get out of the house and do something in person on a regular basis. I just love ZUMBA!!!!!

  14. I would recommend feeding your kids the "super" foods like sweet potatoes, blueberries, bananas, yogurt etc....Try to buy organic and rinse with white vinegar if not organic to remove pesticide residue. Also, is an underlying allergy causing the problems. After my healty son starting getting sick all the time for about 5 months we went to the allergist. After starting on his preventative program or zyrtec and nasonex we were back to being well all the time.

  15. Try to find a computer type game that would reinforce the same concept. Math facts with my son were frustrating to me but the right computer game where I did not have to watch all the careless mistakes solved that problem. But when I know my son is capable of focusing and concentrating but is not exerting the mental energy...I treat it like misbehavior and require more effort. That is different from trying your best but just not understanding or grasping the idea. In that case...a different approach may help.

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