I know, I know. Praise the effort. The process. The work. Not, "oh, you're so smart," "that must have been easy," whatever. Find something else to talk about. But what about the stuff that doesn't take effort? The stuff they're good at? Kid is 10. Accelerated, good at the big-picture and the details at the same time. Forest and trees and probably the underbrush, too. But everything gets sort of brushed off, like it doesn't matter unless it's about them being smart, because they feel like people are making it up to avoid mentioning that. (Which isn't to say they want people talking about them being smart, that's somehow worse...) What do you say that does appreciate their "intellectual gifts" or skills at something, even those they haven't had to "work" on? It's disingenuous not to acknowledge that they're smart, y'know what I mean? And then the other stuff... Sorry-- rambling. We just had another small incident and I just don't know what I'm missing that would make it clear that the compliments are sincere, regardless of their subject.