Ting Tang
-
Posts
2,306 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Blogs
Classifieds
Store
Posts posted by Ting Tang
-
-
We have lived nextdoor to my in-laws for over 10 years now. It has reached the point that for me, the negatives outweigh the positives. My husband farms with his dad, and our lives are very intertwined. I have written how my children basically feel they live at both houses, and we have struggled with boundaries.
My husband has a tendency to side with his family and to disregard the value of my feelings over theirs; maybe that is because he never really left and made a life of his own. His mother has been fighting pancreatic cancer for two years. But my sister-in-law's family visits often. Well, excluding her husband--he stays home, and I get that! Sometimes it is one of them, two of them, or the whole family. There were three separate visits from their family members this last month. Next there will be Thanksgiving together, and then she is planning to come back a week later. A week later is my daughter's birthday weekend, and they have been trying to make plans for things to do that weekend over me. Now, when they visit, they spend the night--or usually multiple nights. So, the kids think it is always a big party. I feel like my life is always getting disrupted, and since they work in schools and go to school, germs are always flying our way. I understand wanting my sister-in-law wanting to visit her mother. She always makes these sappy social media posts about "helping them," but really, she just unwinds and had an outing with friends this past weekend.
Adding to the madness, is a "getaway" trip to a neighboring state with all of them, a day after Christmas. I don't want to go. It's too much togetherness for me. It's not that they are all horrible people, I just feel like our lives are not our own. My eldest son even said he wished we could do more as just our own family. We also go to Minnesota in the summer altogether for 10 days. Again, just too much.
Moving isn't practical. There are not too many houses on the market, and we have a great interest rate and low mortgage payment. My husband said he would prefer to build a home, but I know that is going to cost a fortune if we did that. But I feel like that is my only "out" from this situation. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have made this choice. We were here first, but I was still okay with the decision back then. But that was when I had only two kids who were babies.
They are not bad people, but I really don't like this anymore. Does anyone else have this situation?
-
23
-
-
45 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:
I’m taking some classes and one of them is second semester Korean. And we had a dialogue practice session last week. One of the other students was commenting that she too doesn’t have anyone to talk to in house.
So I texted her: Hi, it’s Murphy from this week’s korean dialogue session. I was wondering if you are in a study group?
and she responded with:
“Hi sweetie! I don’t have any study buddy.”
and I instantly decided not to even mark the message read. Just nope.
If it matters, we are roughly the same age. If anything I think I might have a couple years on her. But knowing it’s not always easy for us not so young anymore ppl to get welcomed into class activities - that’s part of why I texted her. But now I’m all nope. That’s weird and I don’t need to invite weird into my already naturally weird enough life.
I mentioned it to my Dh and he paused and said she sounds like a grandma being motherly. Does she know you are closer to her age? Maybe be ignore it?
Well okay. Now I’m second guessing myself. I’ve been called honey or dear or pretty lady or whatever but never sweetie. Idk. Sweetie seems.. off to me. Idk maybe that’s witchy of me?
Opinions?
If it is any consolation, I dislike the use of that word, too. Sometimes women use it is a derogatory way.
-
2
-
-
I dunno, you can have conservative views and not be a horrible person. Sounds like this guy crossed that line.
-
3
-
-
Hmm, I was very sad when I first read this. But the more I've read, he sounds like he was a narcissistic evil person.
-
2
-
-
11 hours ago, Shoeless said:
My son's algebra performance improves with me sitting next to him. Just sayin'... 😉
I was hoping the course delivery would make him rather independent, but I think it is back to the kitchen for him (literally, lol). I do better with instruction when I have written materials available to me, so this will be good for me, too. I know Math Mammoth doesn't come with a teacher guide, but it might make it easier for him to focus with instructions on paper instead of video. He was going back and re-watching videos. Sadly, he had an A in the class---but it was causing major conflict anyway. So I am hoping he will move quickly through MM 6 and onto 7. He's never done great with classes that require a lot of output. He will sit and read a book for hours rather than feel inclined to do grammar or math. It's not the worst thing I tell myself. But he has to do those things! lol
-
Social media sure changes so many things. When I was about the age, we did have AOL instant messenger. I did go on dates, the kind where my parents dropped me off and picked me up or I walked if he lived in the neighborhood. I even kissed boys, lol. It never went beyond that.
On the flipside, I have had a grown man grandpa record and post a whole video of my daughter's solo performance without my permission. He did that to every little girl. Fortunately, he was asked to remove it and did. We just don't have much privacy these days. 😞
-
1 hour ago, KSera said:
You know about the PDFs from the site? That's the more economical, but then you have to print unless you have a good tablet and pencil set up. It's easier to handle the printed pages to me though, as the bound version is so thick it won't lay flat.
Oh yes, I do, but we were printing Mr. D. math. I just assume buy it already printed. We will take a little reprieve. I actually decided to order the whole set from Rainbow Resource instead. I'll have to figure out what to do if the book is super jumbo....lol
As for my kids, their rooms are not punishment. Cleaning the bathroom is constructive use of their time if they do not want to do school, lol. Or cleaning up doggy doo! Our homeschool has been in shambles between our schedule and my son/me. I think the change in math might help.
-
1
-
-
I have impacted wisdom teeth. I couldn't afford to have them removed when I was younger as my parents were not going to pay for it. They can cause problems, but my dentist has taken the approach if they are not causing problems, let's just leave them. I am 42.
-
1
-
-
I think I am going to order MM 6 on Amazon. This looks like it will be good for him, then he can move to MM 7.
-
1
-
-
I'm looking at MM 6 and 7. Some of 6 looks easy, but I think he could fly through it and get to 7 quickly. 7 looks, at a glance, to maybe be a better approach to pre-algebra for him? I didn't think MM would work for my next in line kid, but maybe this is a better fit for this kid.
-
Thank you all. We backtracked to CLE 5 to train him to show his work. It wasn’t a great fit— too much spiral and review with tiny fractions of new teaching, which to me, seemed to be in no particular order. He seemed bored of doing so much arithmetic, es especially from doing master books the year prior both grades, 5 and 6. I asked him if he would like to think about switching or sticking with us and we just do the videos together. We’ve had other people look at this math and claim it is way too difficult for pre-algebra for a 6th grader. Do not think the sample was indicative of what we’re getting. I assumed this would be even more gentle than perhaps it is.
-
8 minutes ago, KSera said:
Algebra seems one of those subjects that the brain needs to be ready for. I like the suggestion of Math Mammoth 7. All the teaching is laid out in the student book. What curriculum did he complete just before this?
He did CLE last year, then MB 5 & 6 the year prior. I hate the jumping around, but maybe we should look at MM 6-7. The pre-req was grade 5 math for this class. 😬
-
23 minutes ago, Amoret said:
You might consider looking into Math Mammoth. It's clear, straightforward, and their 7th grade level covers Pre-Algebra material. My DD had a few gaps in understanding after Beast Academy, so she did MM 6&7 and really liked it. I think she took a little over a single academic year to do both levels. She went from there into AOPS Intro to Alg. without a problem. It looks like they now have the first half of 8th grade math as well.
I’ll take another look. It’s been a bit! Thank you!
-
Thank you! I did think about watching the videos with him, but I think he might just be better off not in front of the screen. I can do the math, but when it comes to teaching it, I appreciate clear, scripted instructions I can give. So… we’re not opposed to switching. He is almost 12, so we have some time.
-
This is turning out to be more algebra than I thought. I think my son is having trouble focusing with video instruction, too. I thought it was great at first. He was strong in arithmetic. I felt it was time for him to move on, but now I don’t know what to do. Perhaps I need a scripted curriculum I can teach? I don’t want to go backwards. I was hoping video lessons would save time, but I think it’s taking him longer than ever to do math. Is there a scripted curriculum that would be easy to use?
-
I’m sorry. Your son is not a creep, and it seems her family might make this awkward for him. Hopefully nothing much else becomes of it, like many relationships that begin and end with 15 year olds. I’m not opposed to 15 year olds dating to an extent, but this situation isn’t ideal, given her family.
-
1
-
-
For me, I preferred a romantic atmosphere for a first date. Lighting and coziness. I did once bowl on a first date, and he told me I looked like his ex. Never saw him again. Lol
-
3
-
-
On 10/30/2023 at 10:53 PM, Grace Hopper said:
Gosh having an annual vacation with just the kids/no souses is not at all what I’d advocate for! It shouldn’t be regular practice to plan annual vacations without spouses like that, that definitely seems unfair.
Well, we HAVE to go on THEIR trip that they've been going on since they were kids, so it is a little bit different. But when in-laws start making plans that affect entire families, it gets messy. A lot of people also have only so much time off or money for travel. I would definitely be upset if my in-laws were planning a trip without me, too. But I won't be shocked when it happens to me, too, lol.
-
On 10/30/2023 at 11:23 AM, EKS said:
I strongly recommend that you leave his handwritten work free from any corrections from you.
Type his work up yourself, complete with mistakes. Turn off any autocorrect functions in your word processor. Then work together to fix all grammar and mechanics errors. Start by asking if there is anything that he can see that needs to be corrected. This will tell you what he can detect on his own. Then prompt him to go through and look for specific types of errors. Does every sentence begin with a capital letter? And so on.
I'd do the above several times to get him used to the process. Then introduce actual editing. This is changing organization and ideas. Focus on one thing to fix each time. If there is a common theme to what needs to be fixed in this regard, keep focusing on that until he incorporates it into his writing spontaneously. Once he's doing this, move onto something else.
Thank you so much for the suggestions! We should move in this direction.
-
Many partnered people do not want to travel apart. I think the trip sounds better if it’s just your husband and his dad. This sounds like a dynamic in my husband’s family, and it hasn’t been fun for us in laws. But it plays out every year by going on their beloved trip to the same place… not great for our marriages. So I’d probably let this one go.
-
Thank you all so much. I think a lot of rural people let their dogs go outside without a lead, fencing, etc. and expect them to stay put. Most of the time, I am sure they do! Twice in one week for me seemed unusual. Hopefully both owners are keeping a more watchful eye on their pets.
-
1
-
-
Last week, I encountered two teens trying to help a loose dog. I was able to get it into my vehicle, and then a township employee drove by and took the dog to a friend who works for animal control in town. The dog quickly made it home as it lives in town.
Yesterday, my daughter performed at a college football game. It was a long day, and we ended up taking dark country roads home--a three-hour drive, ugh. I thought I saw another deer in the road, but it was a dog! The speed limit was 55, and I came to a complete stop. The dog jumped on our vehicle and started to cry and whimper. I'm sure there were a few houses on that dark road, but I am NOT comfortable pulling into driveways and knocking on doors. I mean, that is how some people get shot these days. So, we invited the dog into our vehicle, and I drove until I found the nearest open business, a gas station. The dog had a tattered harness, and it was only then that we could make out a phone number written in permanent marker. I may have taken the dog farther from home, but I honestly wasn't sure what I should have done?
The lady working at the gas station called the number on the harness, and my daughter and I continued on our way home. The lady kept the dog at the gas station until the owner came.
I hope I did the right thing. Maybe the dog would have gone back home? But it could easily have gotten hit.
-
3
-
-
On 10/28/2023 at 10:17 AM, keirin said:
Ting Tang - if it helps at all, here are my two most recent paragraph assignments from my 7th grade twins (age 12, they are young for 7th grade / July birthdays). You can see that my daughter (favorite things to bake) tends to be a bit more conversational and, well, wordy in her writing compared to my son (bees and flies). However, I'm struggling to get both of them to EDIT more effectively, so I don't think this is an uncommon thing for this age to struggle with.
We have used Lantern English with some success in the past, but these paragraphs were part of assignments from chapters in The Paragraph by EPS. I've really liked these workbooks - I do them out loud (mostly) with my kids, but you could pretty easily assign them as an independent thing if you needed to.
My Favorite Things to Bake.pdf 17.03 kB · 2 downloads Why Bee and Flies Are Not So Different.pdf 24.57 kB · 3 downloads
Thank you so much for sharing! I really appreciate this! I have samples of my own writing, but sometimes I think expectations are greater these days. But at the end of the day, these are still children learning to write, even if it is 2023.
-
Some rules are not laws. My daughter goes to competitions that are 10-12 hours long sometimes. They say no outside food or drink. We almost always buy from concessions, but I still bring our own food and water.
-
4
-
Rant. I don't want to live nextdoor to my in-laws anymore.
in The Chat Board
Posted
Thank you all so much for your thoughts!
Re: the Minnesota trip. I have been going on this trip since 2010. Almost every year, it has resulted in some kind of fight before or during the trip. He points out all the reasons why it's a great trip for our family and how much the kids love it, basically discrediting my reasons for not wanting to go. I do wonder how much this will all last. Of course, I want my MIL to pull through, but my husband has already said I will regret what I've had to say about the Minnesota trip when she passes away. I've not said much about this upcoming Christmas trip for that reason. But I start to feel sad when I realize I am almost 43, and my younger days are limited to--and I'm not even very young. When we were dating and even married early on, I guess I never thought that it would be an annual thing. I never even thought to ask, and I am not sure I was ever told.
I'm going to need make a schedule. But yes, sometimes I just want downtime and privacy. I don't want to be busy just to avoid the togetherness. I'd probably go on that after Christmas trip with just my own family, but my only excuse for not going with all of them is I do not want to be around them so much, and that is not good enough for them. I'm not sure how to articulate that to them.