Ting Tang
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Posts posted by Ting Tang
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On 4/8/2024 at 5:07 PM, Shraddha said:
We used Memoria Press exclusively for three years (Jr. K, K and 1st) and mostly MP for our fourth year (2nd). We will be moving away from MP for 3rd, minus a few subjects, for the following reasons:
1) There is a ton of writing. So much that it seems unnecessarily time consuming.
2) As a homeschooling parent who also works outside the home, and as a family who thrives having a co-op day once a week, it is very difficult to schedule the amount of work MP requires, even into a full calendar year. Many of their subjects are also teacher-intensive and not as independent as we need, since I'm not always around to teach. Some parents outsource to the online academy or cottage schools, but we do not.
3) It is important for us to do non skill based subjects, such as history , science, and Bible, as a family, but MP separates these subjects by grade. Sure, it's possible to figure out how to use MP materials for the whole family, but why go through the trouble when there are other curricula made use with multiple ages?
That being said, I thought Jr K through 1st grade were wonderful. My children have a strong foundation in reading and phonics thanks to MP. Their literature selections, especially in the younger grades, are fantastic. Their customer service is also superb. I think MP gets to be a bit much around 3rd. We just can't dedicate the amount of time needed to get it all done. Kids who are educated with MP materials have an incredible education, but it costs a lot of time and effort, as well as some sanity. We prioritize a great education, but we also prioritize rest, and time together as a family. Nobody who uses MP does "all the things," but it's very stressful to figure out what to cut and how to adjust.
So, we've benefitted from what we've used, but it's just too much after a while. I have much more peace using materials that actually get done.
I cannot even imagine doing 4 separate complete MP curriculums as I have four children--but what bothers me is I think each child could handle it; I just can't teach it, and then I feel like a failure. I do think the education one can receive can be outstanding, but this year I took a more eclectic approach and have felt as though we were not doing enough. And I have still felt overwhelmed and unhappy. I do want to stay the classical course somewhat, so I am trying to figure out what to do! I guess this is why online education exists. I wish there were more streaming videos for all subjects; it is hard to commit to a specific time and day---might as well go to a regular school!
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Yea, I think it’s utterly nuts to send a job posting to a 12 year old. The way the ad looked made the job appear to be very enticing with minimal education. Meanwhile, they take fancy trips to various universities. I cannot say I’ve worked hard to sway any of my children in either direction, given their ages, so I don’t think she should, either. The family dynamics are at play. I personally think 12 is an impressionable age and that this is influencing him in one direction. My husband doesn’t think it’s a big deal. I always feel like an outsider, like why am I even their mom or his wife. Things get decided for me. And I would never do that to my 12 year old nephew.
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Thank you all. She’s certainly not the worst person, but I haven’t had the best marriage because of their family dynamics and his loyalty to them over me. My thought is trade school is always an option. But if you do not prepare for college, it may not be as feasible of an option (scholarships). I don’t want him NOT taking school seriously because he thinks he can easily go to trade school. Meanwhile, my SIL takes trips touring colleges with her kids…I would never do this to her kids, it’s not my place. I am sure she can guess education is important to me. And actually… this was a job ad that said free training, so not even a school per se.
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Homeschooling or after schooling sounds like the right choice. Many catholic schools want parents to volunteer; some religious schools take church attendance. My Catholic friend decided to pull her child from Catholic school to homeschool.
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35 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:
Yes, it is. I think 12 is usually right in the age range of when children seek out mentors and outside influence as well.
How do you define ideal relationships between aunts/uncles and their nieces/nephews?
I think when a child is blessed with two parents, the two parents guide/lead. The aunts and uncles listen. They don’t take the lead or the first steps on discussing career paths.
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2 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:
I can’t say I’ve ever texted my niece career/job stuff, but I’ve sent her a small number of things relevant to our conversations and her interests in between celebratory or nicety texts. I can imagine sending her an example of wages for a job she mentioned. It wouldn’t occur to me that her mother might take that as me trying to dissuade her from college! Especially at that age. If she were 17 and choosing a school, I could see it being more icky.
I don’t know. My kids have had access to communicate with relatives forever. But we live far apart and don’t get together frequently, so it’s part of relationship building.
(That is, for our not-severely-toxic relatives, just normal family dysfunction.)
I’d understand better if his path were decided/set. But he’s 12. I told him right now he is to worry about the education he receives now and explore all options for his life. I feel she overstepped, but everyone will just brush it off. I was made to go on their MN family vacation three weeks post partum and bleeding. My husband was having a good time and I got upset—they said I had had post partum depression! They’re that way. It will never change. His mom is ill with cancer so I matter even less.
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2 hours ago, HomeAgain said:
I wonder if it's a cultural difference? I've texted my niece/nephew privately before. I have a relationship with them as an aunt, and touch base with them every so often to keep up that relationship. I want them to feel like they could tell me anything and have an adult to talk to that's not their parent.
This sounds like it's running deeper than a text about a career field your son might be interested in later. Is there more undercurrent between you and your SIL?
His family constantly tries to undermine my influence. My husband never takes my side. I live nextdoor to my MIL and FIL, go in their family vacation, see them all the time. I feel It’s a parent’s job to discuss these things.
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34 minutes ago, saraha said:
I haven’t read 98% of ds13’s texts with his friends after the first week or so. And he can tell I haven’t read them. I just have it plugged into the nest and when his friends, who each have their own text noise to identify them text, he grabs it or I let him know. Anyone who is not in his intimate friends circle all have a “ding” sound and he’s conditioned to ignore it unless I say oh you got a text from… spam texts I delete and he probably never even notices. Sil would be a spam for sure.
Good luck, I hope you find some compromise. In-laws, especially in-laws that are important to a family’s income, are tricky for sureThank you. Yep. It’s pretty tricky. I love the spam idea. I find this whole thing pretty bizarre. We all have opinions on each other and our families, but to go directly to the kid is weird. I do think I’ll respond to the message if he hasn’t.
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39 minutes ago, Rebel said:
You can block numbers from the phone itself without access to the account. Can you just tell SIL that you prefer she not text your son about his future career options?
I’d really like to be able to tell her that. I feel like responding to the text myself. I just thought of that! My husband is pretty defensive of his family.
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7 minutes ago, saraha said:
I didn’t think you need access to the account to block numbers on his phone. That definitely complicates things. I get the whole farm family entanglement. Can you talk to dh and say you feel like 12 is too young to have unfettered access to the phone and then keep the phone until son needs it and go through the texts yourself? I do that with ds13. He has access to a phone, but it’s not “his” phone
Yes… that might work. The sad thing is that I don’t mind him texting with friends and giving him a little privacy. I have read the texts so far and find him trustworthy. How sad it’s her I do not trust. It’s either manipulative or… they look down on us.
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Just now, saraha said:
Aw, well, can he stay in contact with the son but not the aunt? Can you make a no adults have access to the phone but dh and I?
I do like that thought. If there were an emergency, I’d like that he had their numbers…. But I never anticipated it being used this way. I asked my husband how she’d feel if I did this to her children, but that didn’t go over too well.
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Just now, saraha said:
This might be shady, but I have a boundary pushing sil that dh sticks up for. If it were me… I would just quietly block her. I guess if I didn’t want to be that sneaky, I would just tell ds to roll his eyes and delete. Does he have some kind of relationship with sil?
He’s very close to her son, his cousin. And so they do…But I feel she is overstepping with influence. I’m sorry you’ve experienced the same!
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5 minutes ago, saraha said:
Can you block her number on his phone?
I had that thought. It will greatly upset my husband. He thinks I hate his sister and am overreacting. His family does this. If it’s anything I like or want for my kids, they suggest the opposite for them. ETA my husband got him the phone, snd it’s on their farm business plan as he farms with them. We pay for it by reconciling, but I have no access to that account. I have my own on my own.
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I’ve never understood thongs. I’ve tried them, but I find them uncomfortable
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My son just got his own phone. He shared a text with me from my SIL. She texted him an ad for tradesmen to start at $42/hour. This greatly upset me! I told my son it was not her place to do this. Though my son has expressed interest in being a truck driver, and I know trades pay well, I am still interested in him exploring his options, including college. Now, my SIL just returned from Florida and has taken her daughter to 3 states to tour colleges. My husband got angry with me because I was upset by this. My SIL was in town this weekend. How is this her place? It’d be nice if my husband would agree with me on something. My son is 12 and in the 6th grade. I have never privately texted my nephews or niece about anything let alone major life decisions.
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I'm confused. I have bonds that have matured but are not cashed in. So I have to do something with these? They've been locked away and out of sight...
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Has anyone found tights without a center seam or one that does not show through the leotard? We just received a new custom leotard, which is lined. My daughter wears dance briefs, tights, and a leotard in that order. The seam showed with her last costume, but the color of the costume was darker, so it wasn't very apparent. Her new costume is a bright/rich coral, and the center seam from the tights is showing like crazy. Tights are required, so is there anything I can do about this? I tried searching for seamless tights, but I can't seem to find any. They need to be flesh tone (nude). Thanks if you have any leads on a good pair of tights without an obvious seam...lol
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5 hours ago, ScoutTN said:
There is no “perfect math”. Some curricula may be a better fit for a particular child than others, but curriculum is merely a tool. Teaching is essential. A good teacher can use many different materials successfully. Ime, math books or online videos by themselves are not generally enough, except with very motivated and mature students.
There isn't a perfect math, you are correct. We found that my next in line enjoys the Strayer-Upton series, and my daughter is doing well with Singapore Dimensions. With my son, we've just really struggled. I think he'd rather be doing other things, quite frankly, than math. And I have tried to find something tolerable for him. I've been teaching from the LMF books, but I know we need something more in depth for next year. I still haven't decided what we are doing, so I have bought nothing just yet in case he does go back to regular school. I just find our local school to be a bad place. They were very anti Covid protocols, and I truly believe parents send their kids sick there...joking about how everyone is getting Covid anyway. So yes, I do worry about the germs there, moreso than I worry about germs in a group of 5 kids once or twice a week...or a first-in-a-lifetime taekwondo tournament.
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14 hours ago, 8filltheheart said:
I find your posts very confusing. It is hard to reconcile this post with not sending your oldest to school bc of germs.
In 2022 you described your ds as a 4th grader who had completed MB 6th grade math. From this side of the screen it seems like he did well in 4th with MB 5 and 6 but then you realized they were actually below grade level (not a big issue since he was only a 4th grader). But, since then, it seems like his progress has stagnated bc of numerous curriculum hops and his not engaging. How much actual math progress has he made in 5th and 6th grades? The older they get, the harder catching up becomes. IOW, catching up a 4th grader is way easier than a 6th grader simple bc there is less remediation required.
Not having a good 7th grade yr will just complicate his progression more. There is also nothing saying it is only one option or the other. You can give school a try and see if it motivates him to engage since he isnt engaging at home. He may thrive in school. He may realize that he loves homeschooling and ask to come home. It might make him put in more effort at home if he is the motivator behind that option.
It just seems like you need to find a better fit for everyone in your family than you currently have bc from your posts it doesn't come across as everyone thriving individually.
Our local k-8 school has crumbling bathrooms missing faucets; kids are instructed to pile costs on top of each other on the floor for an easy grab after lunch before recess. We were never sicker than the time they went to that school. Our extracurriculars DO exist, and we do get exposed to germs, but I feel we have more control and less exposure than we might from school. If you look at the Academy I was looking at, it seems they do not want your children being involved in anything at all—there’s an evening study block time. It appears to be very strict. Kinda reminds me of the Catholic version of shiny, happy, people when I read the rules. I did look at a tiny bit of the actual curriculum, it looked somewhat good, sadly. But being enrolled seems to come with strict guidelines… anyway, I have not found the perfect math. Right now he’s doing the Learn Math Fast books. We are in the midst of Volume III pre-algebra book. I don’t think it’s a full curriculum, but at least he’s doing something now. I feel like we’re not doing enough, but I also feel like it is impossible to do enough for every child. The academy looked like an affordable solution, but then I came across some criticisms.
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Thank you! I think they use books in the public domain, but we’re definitely an extracurricular family, lol. I was at a taekwondo tournament and master dance class this weekend… lol
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Well… I didn’t pass their questionnaire, so it’s probably not a good fit. I want something good, affordable, and that could free me up, but this must not be it.
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Though we are not practicing Catholics, I wondered if we could still use classes from this online academy. It looks affordable and intriguing. My concern is that posts from 15+ years ago claim the headmaster admitted to a belief system such as not sparing the rod— WTM posts state he admitted to using a leather belt on his children daily. So I have ethical concerns, but I need something affordable and good. The classes are $125/each and use public domain materials from what I can tell.
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We’re using her chemistry course now. It was recorded during the Covid lockdowns, and a few errors occurred with worksheets/lessons, but my children enjoy it. It’s not a year long course. There are activities and experiments, but they can also just be watched. Overall, I like it. I feel they are learning, and it frees me up for 45 minutes.
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13 minutes ago, PeterPan said:
Some years the *lesson* is not what we thought was going to be the lesson. Going through chemo is a big deal and it might be you kind of shift modes and embrace that as being ok. You wouldn't do that every year for 13 years, lol., but for one year absolutely it's ok.
The germ thing is hard. I'm at a place in my life where it seems like EVERY TIME I get in someone's germs I get them. And I end up on antibiotics, which I suppose shorten my life and all the other jazz I read. I think I might be cautious about altering your kids' lives over germs only because well they're kids. They're not in the house with her. They can visit her outside maybe or skype. I would probably protect them a bit to make sure they have all the socializing they need, etc. If you alter *yourself* that's different because you're the adult.
And maybe that deserves it's own thread, but it's just my two cents. It's not actually that hard not to get sick even when in tight quarters. I've had multiple occasions in the past calendar year where I was sharing tight quarters with someone and they DID NOT GET covid even when I did. Now if someone brings anything around me, I'm a virus magnet. But for other people, hygiene and a bit of space, not sharing water, not kissing, washing hands, giving just a bit of space, basic things go a surprising way. Your kids could bring something home from school and *not* make you sick if you exercise some hygiene at home. It could be a thought process to consider.
Or don't, lol. I'm just saying that's our experience.
Thank you so much. She went through breast cancer several years ago, and now it's been almost three years of this. Since we live nextdoor, I feel like I am constantly living on borrowed time---waiting for a tragedy between her and my father-in-law since they are also aging. We definitely do more than we did during Covid, but sometimes I still think I live differently. I'm still trying to figure out next year.
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Regretting homeschooling
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Year 4 here. My oldest is 12. I can relate In many ways… next year, I plan to take on an overseer role with the help of streaming/self paced classes, particularly for my oldest.