GracieJane
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Posts posted by GracieJane
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1 minute ago, KSera said:
I agree with bookbard. Given your previous level of activity, that seems a surprising drop off. Has it been a significant number of years since your last pregnancy? Like are you in the “geriatric pregnancy” this time?
Do you have a pulse oximeter?
I am 36, so geriatric. It’s been 5 years since my last pregnancy. I don’t feel ill or anything, just like it is hard and “heavy” to move.
I will check the oximeter we have!
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I’m about 14 weeks pregnant with our fourth baby and I can’t seem to catch my breath. I was moderately active prior to the pregnancy (walking or hiking between 15-20k steps per day) and I can barely walk five minutes without stopping and breathing heavily now. My legs feel heavy and I feel like I’m breathing underwater. Does this go away? Are there exercises I can do to increase my strength and endurance?
Thank you!
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I don’t even know how to describe this quality, but I’m terrible at differentiating between dreams and plans. This scene happens all the time: someone at an event tells me how they are going to buy an island/write a screenplay/make ten thousand dollars panning for gold, and I am absolutely thrilled by their enthusiasm and get super excited about the plan. Afterwards, as I am sharing this happy news with my DH, he gently tells me that’s not actually happening, so-and-so is exaggerating. It’s like it never occurs to me in the middle of a conversation that this is a dream, not a plan. Crushing!
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I am horrifically bad at parking. Like not just parallel parking, even run-of-the-mill, grocery store parking. I can’t even park “to the right”, so I have to circle around the lot until I can turn left. 😱 It’s terrible depth perception combined with a mini-van!
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Also, the falling birth rate is largely attributable to a 79% decrease (!) in teen pregnancies since the 90s. That’s huge and not widely talked about!
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We live in a fairly wealthy neighborhood of Los Angeles and IME the falling birth rate does not accurately reflect desired family size. The average age of first-time mothers has increased by a lot, which correlates with infertility viz. age-related fertility issues. IME here many women face struggles to conceive their first child, the second and third are often made prohibitively expensive by ART that isn’t covered by medical insurance.
I think if there were an honest survey of US women indicating the # of desired children vs. actual living children, a lot of assumptions about the cause of the falling birth rate would be corrected.
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Just now, Spryte said:
We have a 32 yr old, a 20, and a 12. So our smallest age gap is more than 6 years!Everyone has been happy and well adjusted, and I don’t think anyone would say they are lonely. Our kids are all really close and get along great.
If you want another baby — go for it. But your kids don’t *need* another baby.
Thank you! That’s encouraging to hear they are close.
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…did you (consider) having another baby so the youngest has a close sibling?
We have a 9 -, 8 -, and 5 year old, and are expecting our fourth child. There will be a 6 year gap between the baby and the next sibling. The older siblings are very close in part because they are close in age. I am so nervous about this big gap. My DH thinks a possible solution is to try for a 5th so that the two have each other. Have you had this gap? Was the youngest child lonely?
ETA: I should qualify after seeing these responses that we would never have a baby just to keep a child entertained 😂! My DH loves children so his solution was very much aligned with his family preferences.
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On 3/19/2024 at 5:11 PM, Malam said:
Just curious, why did you choose to switch?
Honestly? I prefer the format of MA online and I like that their problem sets often “trick” the student, so they are forced to read the question multiple times slowly. I still like AoPS, but for our child MA is a better fit.
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My 4th grader uses MA. We love it! He is particularly good at math and a fairly independent learner, so the pacing and goal setting is ideal for him. He switched from AoPS and the teaching and testing style is similar IMO.
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13 minutes ago, bolt. said:
I came back because I have a strong desire to analyze the Proverbs 31 woman with you.
Here's what she's like:
- Trustworthy, honourable, dignified, confident (v.11,23,25,28,29,31)
- Good-hearted and benevolent to her husband (v.12)
- Vigorous, physically capable (v.17)
- Wise, a good advisor (v.26)
- Spiritual (v.30)
Here's what she does:
- Oversees breakfast preparations, with the help of (not one, but multiple) servants (v.15)
- Shops while going for a walk in an open air market (v.13,14)
- Crafts flax into luxury textiles (v.13,19,21,22,24) (probably with servants)
- Occasionally does real estate transactions (v.16)
- Directs the work of an overseer and workers a vineyard business in her own name, (v.16)
- Manages the trading of products generated household's various independently managed businesses, including her own flax work, but mostly in a literacy, record keeping, and coordination role (v.18,27)
- Directs the household's charitable activities (v.20)
Please notice:
0% cooking. 0% cleaning. 0% childcare. 10% errands.
This is not the same life. But it's not a harder-working life either. If anything, with the support of all those servants, and mostly being in the role of management and direction, it sounds a bit easier. Physically at least. This is the life of a noblewoman, a partner in the activities of a large household and the co-owner of multiple businesses and properties -- kind of like what we would think of as an estate. She's an ancient-world princess, and you're not. But that doesn't make your work meaningless. It's just different.
This is such a great outline!
I was thinking about the twin sins of idleness and self-indulgence yesterday, and why they were particularly coded “female” in my childhood (as opposed to say, lust, which was uniquely male). The “busy at home”, “bread of idleness” and the “gossipy women going house to house” scriptures were the sort of antithesis to the aspirational feminine virtues of self-control and industry.
There was this story repeated in my church, about a well-loved and respected older woman who got cancer and would still put on makeup and smile so as not to worry her adult children. She never complained or bemoaned her plight. Her grace under suffering (or stoicism?) was modeled as this particularly feminine heroic ideal, and it always stuck with me. Maybe that’s why I feel so guilty about “laziness”, that resting when others are working is a sort of “calling attention” to your burden (?). I have no idea if any of this makes sense, but this feminine amalgam of Proverbs 31 industry and warnings of gossipy, idle women are coded in my religious DNA. But it’s often hard to separate (for me) what is biblical and what is temperamentally warped in my own constitution, so I appreciate your scripture counterbalance.
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I love this thread!
I don’t really need anything, but I would love an electric blanket, a heated vest, really just a body heater attached to my person. 😄
I would love more hagiographies of saints (especially St. Catherine of Siena) and memoirs of women like Susannah Wesley.
Tea, yummy dessert teas.
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3 hours ago, silver said:
All trimesters are tiring, since your body is doing so much to keep you and the baby alive and help the baby grow and develop. I'm not sure where you're at in pregnancy., but if you're in the 1st trimester, give yourself even more grace, because your body is doing extra work as it grows the placenta (growing a whole new body organ!) and the baby. After the placenta is grown enough to take over some of the job, some (not all!) of the exhaustion lessens (although having young kids at home to take care of can mean that the fatigue lasts a lot longer).
I once read that Proverbs 31 was not written as a checklist for women to strive for (or men to look for in a future wife) but more of a song of praise that the husbands would sing to their wives at the evening meal before Sabbath. It was recognition of all the hard work that women put into making a household run smoothly. So women should instead take it as validation of our often overlooked work being valued (instead of as condemnation of not being enough).
It's already been mentioned, but women past had extended families to help out. You can see here that women understand that pregnancy is exhausting. In generations past, the women of the family, knowing this exhaustion, would come alongside their sisters and daughters and nieces and help them with their household. We tend not to have that anymore, and you shouldn't hold yourself individually to the standard that was only kept by multiple women working together.
This is a season. It does not define who you are or your worth.I am in the first trimester and have three sweet children under 10 years old. I’m so thankful for them! But wow, I’m tired today. 🙂
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7 minutes ago, smstjohn said:
There are several things I want to say right off after reading this.
The first being that you are doing real work. Your body is helping another whole person to grow. It's exhausting! And this being the fourth one, I'm sure the other kids need some care as well. Even if they are watching a bit more, you are still caring for them. Making sure they are safe, clean, and nourished.
I also despise the guilt associated with Proverbs 31, and I say that as a Christian. From what I've heard, it's not a "real" woman but a picture of what to look for, for one. And also she seems to run her household with multiple layers of servants of some sort. I might be wrong, but I'm guessing you don't have a full staff looking over your household affairs...
Please be gentle with yourself. Rest when you can from the hard work you are doing when you are up and the work you're even doing while resting(you know, GROWING a person!)
As a Christian, your worth is not found in the work you do. Love on your family as well as you are able and also extend that kindness to yourself.
This is so sweet, thank you. Idleness and self-indulgence were the major “Christian girl” sins taught growing up (since modesty and chastity were a given) and here I am…in my 30s and still feeling guilty.
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I was raised with hardworking parents in a Baptist community that prizes hard work, and married a hardworking man. I feel so guilty about laziness, eating “the bread of idleness” so-to-speak.
I’m pregnant with our fourth child and just tired. Like physically, I just want to lay down and do nothing. However this makes me so anxious and I have that Proverbs 31 woman scolding me with the hardworking ghosts of women past who definitely didn’t allow their children to watch Netflix in order to nap. 😞 I’m sure I could go to therapy for this but obviously that would require the self-indulgence of an hour spent discussing my feelings.
*sigh* No real point here, other than commiseration with anyone who is tired today.
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15 minutes ago, cintinative said:
I think it is this one?
https://www.amazon.com/That-Crumpled-Paper-Last-Week/dp/0399535594
Aaaaah bless you! Thank you!
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Someone posted a book a while back that helped her organize homework with her ADHD son. I think it had a yellow cover. I am searching high and low for that thread to find out what the book is called, to no avail. Does anyone know what I'm referring to or did I just totally dream this up? My son is 9 and I am desperate to help him develop a simple system to organizing his schoolwork (tasks, due dates, papers, etc.) independently. Thank you!
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If you have a large-ish family, how do you announce fourth,…n pregnancies to family or friends who think it’s excessive? When people say “was it planned?” or “do you have the space?”, how do you respond? Thank you!
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This is fascinating topic. I know a lot of women who either get no presents or late-night-run-to-the-store trinkets from their husbands. I wonder if these husbands would feel weird getting nothing for their birthdays or Christmas?
I get the exact same thing from my DH for my birthday every year and I love it: an Amazon gift card, my favorite candy, a soda and Hot Cheetos. For Christmas, it’s the most current generation Kindle. Maybe the bar is low, but I’m happy to get something 1. I like and 2. is wrapped and ready on the occasion.
I wonder if it’s easier to men to be told “I want x and z for my birthday” than to wait for them to creatively think of a gift.
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Everyone has their own bed in our house (DH and I have a queen). 8 -, and 6 year old brothers have a bunk bed, but inevitably fall asleep together on the lower bunk. 4 year old sister falls asleep in her own bed, but ends up in our bed sometime at night. The boys come to our bed in the morning too (it gets crowded).
My parents were very strict about not co-sleeping for good sleep hygiene.
Is it weird for none of my kids to sleep alone? Will this effect their sleep cycles longterm?
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On 7/23/2022 at 1:48 PM, pmeilaen said:
I had the same situation when my oldest was born over 20 years ago. I am a native German, married to an American and living in the U.S. I decided to NEVER speak English to my son and his four siblings, who were born after him. That meant German in front of in-laws and other people who did not speak German. That caused some misunderstandings, but I tried to keep my talking brief if other people were around. I also only read German books to them when they were little and sang German songs. All of my children learned German first before they ever spoke a word of English. What really helped was that my husband also became fluent in German and German became our weekend language: My husband spoke English to the children during the week, but German on the weekends. When my children discovered that there were two languages in their lives and tried to speak English to me, I simply ignored them if it was a non-emergency. I told them I did not understand their English when it was addressed to me. Since they were little when I said that they thought that that was the way it was and never tried English again. When they got older, they had to learn to read and write in German as well as English and now I can read Goethe's Faust with my high school students. English is their strong language and they tend to speak English among themselves, but they have beautiful German and still speak German to me all the time. So, don't give up and don't make a big deal out of it. If children realize that you want them to speak German, it will probably backfire. I think the German language school you are trying is a good idea. It shows your children that other children their age also speak German. We tried a school like that while living in London and it was an interesting experience for them. All my relatives are German and so my children have to speak to them in German. Maybe you could find some people who don't speak English and then your children would notice that German can come in handy.
Thank you! I love that you spoke German exclusively to your children. 🙂 I am just *now* speaking German with my kids in front of others. It was so deeply ingrained in me that you speak the common language in the company of others that I hesitated for a long time. But now I’m realizing strangers really don‘t care that much what you are saying to your kids. It was a weird etiquette hurdle to overcome but now it seems much easier to stay on language all day!
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6 hours ago, HazelAnne said:
There are several “safe kids ministry” websites I found years ago when helping with kids ministry. I’d link one, but I can’t remember which I’ve read through.
But some policies frequently used are: Requiring an adult to sign kids in and out of class, background checks on workers, having two unrelated adults be in each classroom, allergy labels, etc.
Thank you! There are many great curricula, but for whatever reason I can’t seem to find this type of information. 🙂
I am looking for a good tag system (like sticker labels to match parent-and-child) and ways of “streamlining” the Sunday School process. How do you manage volunteer schedules? How often do you email parents? Stuff like that. I guess people assume that stuff is more intuitive than the class content itself, but it’s not for me! -
1 hour ago, Harriet Vane said:
Absolutely the best training tool I have ever used in many years directing children's programs:
Follow Me As I Follow Christ, by Cheryl Dunlop
Chapters are short and wonderfully practical. Absolutely the best thing I have read about teaching children the Bible accurately (and how to apply an accurate teaching framework within church curriculum). Gorgeous celebration of the child's spirit. This should be required reading for anyone who directs a church children's ministry, and it's also a fantastic resource for providing training for volunteers (either assigning a chapter to be read for book discussion at a training meeting or the leader can use the book as a springing-off point to teach from).
Thank you, I just ordered it after reading the intro!
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If you teach/have taught Sunday School for children, what is the best resource or guide for how to set up a children’s ministry?
I am looking for some direction on pager systems, volunteer guidelines, communicating with parents, etc.Thank you!
Pregnant and short of breath?
in The Chat Board
Posted
Update: I checked my HR and oxygen and both were great! My HR is slightly elevated which is to be expected at 14 weeks.
My OB said I am anemic, which causes difficulty exercising and feeling low-energy. I thought I had been taking iron, but I checked my prenatals and the gummies have zero iron in them. 🙈 I switched over because the pills made me nauseous, so for three weeks I have been running around with no iron supplement. 😱😱😱
Thank you for your sweet thoughts! I’m going to see if the iron supplements help, and I have an appointment with the doctor. ❤️