Thanks for all of the great feedback! HOAs are definitely something to consider so we will have to look at all of the numbers. I do have concerns about the dog too…he’s not exactly the friendliest…Mini Australian shepherd and very protective, so we would really need to consider that.

Does anyone live in, or has lived in a townhouse with kids? We are about a year out from buying a home, and with housing prices being so high, and bidding wars on everything, one thing we are considering is new townhouse in a planned community. It’s about 50-75k or even 100k cheaper than a new single family home (which are also available in this neighborhood). There is a pool, walking and biking trails, and lakes for paddle boarding and such. Eventually there will be shops within the community, but all of this is still under development. The agent wasn’t sure when the amenities would all be completed. We have never really considered a townhouse before. We’ve owned houses in the past and they have all been single family homes in neighborhoods. We have 3 kids 10 and under and a dog. We have always had a yard, so I just can’t visualize how a townhouse might be for them, but I wonder if all the amenities may make up for the loss of yard space. I do enjoy gardening and landscaping, but at the same time it takes a lot of time and money. Has anyone here raised kids in a community like this, or a townhouse? Did you love it or hate it? Pros and cons?

Thank you all so much! This is super helpful! I’m not exactly sure which job they would put me on…loading/unloading or sorting or whatever else. I’m really in the dark since I haven’t spoken to anyone! Sounds like I may need to go with one of the other positions that I’m interviewing for if offered a job! I’m almost 40, and in decent shape, but certainly not in top shape with the occasional back spasm, which may become daily in doing a job like this!

Has anyone had this job? I’ve applied to over 20 jobs, and have had UPS officially hire me, but have yet to hear from HR. The entire process is online, so all I’ve gotten so far is an email stating my start date. I have also heard back from a hotel for a housekeeping position, and meeting with a coffee shop next week for a Barista position. I’m worried about holding out for the UPS start date, and then realizing they won’t give me enough hours to make it worth my time, or enough pay (it’s an hour drive one way), or it won’t be as long term as I need it to be (at least 18 months). Just wondering if anyone has worked this position and what your experience was, what’s the pay like (it says up to $16 an hour, but not what the starting pay is and how quickly you move to that upper hourly rate…This is in NC), how many hours were typical for a week, and will I be working with only teens and college kids, or are there older people there too? I’ve read reviews online, but would be nice to hear from others!

Also, this fall we will have baseball in addition to church, and I may sign my daughter up for cheering…so that should help keep us a bit more busy and not home every single night.

I’m basically in her front yard, and my kids toys are in her house mainly…so there’s no real avoiding the issue. She does not get drunk, just tolerates her alcohol well I guess.

Thank you all for your wonderful responses! You have really given me some things to think about! This time to live in the camper on her property was also for us to determine if we may want to build there. It’s something we have always talked about, and I think it’s something we would have always wondered about had we not given it a try. As many of you stated, clearly my body is responding to the red flags I’ve had in the back of my mind this whole time. I love my mom, and I am praying hard for her. I talked to her this evening about halting the plans to do any further clearing or anything to prepare the land, and she was so supportive and understanding. I did not discuss the drinking, but I do plan to gently talk to her about my concerns for her well being at some point. Thank you all so much! I’m really glad I posted about this.

I do spend every evening with her, but so far that hasn’t helped. I invite her places too, but she never wants to go.

I definitely feel a lot of sympathy for her, and I know the alcohol is really her way of coping with this. I definitely don’t judge her for it, I am just very concerned for her. I have encouraged her to find a support group, or seek therapy, but she won’t. I definitely don’t expect her to give a lot of positive vibes, and had hoped I would be that place of positivity for her, but I am now struggling with my own mental health and feel I’m becoming more of a burden than a blessing. I am so sorry about your DH.

Even after discussing and making the decision to build next to her, she has always mentioned that we might decide it’s not the right place for us, so although I think she would be disappointed to hear we are leaning more toward other options, I don’t think she would be totally shocked. Our initial plan was to build in a location closer to the city, but with prices increasing and the market being so crazy, we felt that building here would be the best financial decision. She knows I’ve had some hesitations about the idea of living here, but I’ve tried to justify it over the last several months. When we moved here to live in the camper, we never had plans of it being long term, so I don’t think she would take it as we are trying to get away from her. I have already brought up to my stepdad this morning that we are considering other options because he has a skid steer and has continued to push off the area where we were planning to build. I didn’t want him to keep putting time into that, and he is also pushing us to go ahead and mark the driveway so he can work on it…so I wanted to be up front that we are not sure what we are going to do so he wouldn’t continue to put in all that effort (which we never asked him to do).

I am not sure. I’ve never really talked to her about it, in fear that she would feel I’m judging her. She has quite a wall up toward people who go to church…feeling they are just judgmental, and I’ve tried to be careful in not furthering those negative feelings.

If we build it would be at least the middle of 2023 before we could start, and if we built here we could never sell as it would be right next to my mom. She has 7 acres with no neighbors really, so adding a home next door with potential new neighbors would be an issue.

Yes, yes and yes! I have major anxiety about something happening to me and her being the main person in their life helping my husband…and it stresses me out because I don’t agree with her lifestyle choices and I don’t want that the be a major part of my kids lives!

As far as cheaper cost of living than what we previously had, that is probably not an option in this market with where we would ideally like to be location wise. At this time we have not made any financially commitments other than the camper, which we could always sell. We have one major loan we want to have paid off before we proceed and that will be done around October of 2022. Until then we are sort of stuck here. That idea I don’t mind, but I think the idea that this location is going to be our forever location is weighing on me, as I would never build next to my mom and then sell it if I wasn’t happy…since that would give her a new neighbor right next door. She’s on 7 acres with no neighbors really next to her, so I wouldn’t want to cause disruption with that if we chose to sell. DH is very concerned about my mental health right now. He doesn’t want to build here if this is how I’m going to be. I can’t pinpoint us building and being here forever being the only issue, but I do think it’s a major one that I’m struggling with…it just feels so permanent.

She is only 57. If we moved it would only be about 20 minutes away, so not that far. I don’t know if she would or not. She’s been here in this community her entire life.