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Islandgal

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Posts posted by Islandgal

  1.  

    43 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

    Oh but not YOU, just *other* people in general from that area 🤣

     

    (couldn’t resist after that American tourist stereotype awful thread)

    You should have resisted. That was unkind to Thatboyofmine, she didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of your cutting wit. She had nothing to do with that other awful thread.

  2.  

    15 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

    Yes, this.  I don’t see the OP being a Queen Bee.  She has been on these boards a LONG time and she was venting to us about how poorly her sister was being treated.  And her comment about ‘why are women like this’ seemed to ME to obviously mean why do SOME women behave this way.  She obviously doesn’t think the entire female population behaves this way.  
     

    I don’t know why some posters seem to rub so many people the wrong way.  

    I agree.

    As far as I can tell, there is a social hierarchy even on this board. 

    • Like 5
    • Haha 2
  3. 3 hours ago, chiguirre said:

    Honestly, I'd tell my kid to not say a word to anyone, including my dh. I'd tell him that once he graduated from high school, I would help him escape to a safe place and make his own life, but that until then, he has to maintain the secret for his physical safety. It sucks that this would be my reaction, but I think it is the safest route for your friend and her son.

    I agree with this, as harsh as it sounds. If the child slips and tells people he is gay now, not only is it a safety concern, if it turns out he isn't, he will be labeled as gay in the community for life.

    The question is, does the mother want to deal with the consequences of her husband finding out that she was hiding this information from him? 

    Is the boy he is crushing on Muslim as well?

     

    • Like 2
  4. On 1/23/2020 at 10:10 AM, lulalu said:

    Anyone know of any books, or resources for those who are homeschooling overseas? Any been there done that stories? I really want to hear from others who took advantage of the amazing benefits of hsing while also having children learn language and culture and make friends. 

    This is the first year in our homeschooling journey that I have felt so alone, and struggled a lot with if this was the right choice. Locals don't homeschool here. And ds is moving along in language well, but still needs work. I have few resources. And reading about others having libraries, co-ops, other families to meet up with, etc. Just makes me second guess doing this with a TCK. Or if local schools although poor academically might provide a richer cultural experience. 

    I live overseas and have very limited resources. You make do with what you have. As someone said upthread, when I have the opportunity to buy books at a reasonable price, I go bananas, often stocking up several levels at a time. Homeschooling is a rarity here as well, almost to the point of being frowned upon. 

    In my experience, regarding the friends, language, and culture, I've found the best way to get involved is to put yourself out there and most times once you make connections, your child or children will as well. Introduce yourself to the neighbours and others in the community. Find a club or join a group that interests you. It may feel a little strange, but in my opinion it's worth it. 

    • Like 2
  5. Do you want his notes to be used as study guides, or more so as a habit builder?

    I'd suggest letting him jot down the key points of the class on an index card, and storing it in an index card box, by subject. That way if he needs to reference the notes for an exam, they'll be organized and easy to access.

    I think having a daily afternoon session is a wonderful idea! It'll help him to get into the routine of doing it himself. 

     

    • Like 2
  6. 14 hours ago, Violet Crown said:

    Since tourists have come up so often in this thread, let me just take this moment to say....

    Want to be a tourist and not worry what the locals think of you? Come visit Austin, Texas! Be one of the 27 million people from the US and other countries to visit our lovely city each year! We don't mind your cultural quirks. Be loud, have fun, enjoy the nightlife, eat at the restaurants and food trucks, hike the trails, sail the lakes, spend freely! South By Southwest is in March, Austin City Limits is in October! 

    We like to meet people from other places and cultures, no matter how weirdly you behave. Weird is (literally) our motto! 

    Because those millions of dollars each year from the (clean) tourist industry have a way of making us happy and very forgiving.

     

    A friend of mine recently stayed at Miraval. She thoroughly enjoyed her stay there and the city itself! 🙂

    In fact, she is still raving about it!

    • Like 1
  7. 3 hours ago, Quill said:

    She’s so touchy, though, my instinct is that she would just turn her anger to me. I can imagine something like this:

    ”Oh, that rainbow-colored hair! So stupid-looking!”

    ”You seem really bothered about that hair. Is there something else upsetting you?”

    Defensively: “No! I’m not the one with the problem, it’s this liberal world we live in and these stupid kids who never had anyone tell them No...” 

    Me: Staring at my coffee cup. Don’t know where to go with this now...should have stopped at Smile and Wave...

    I have a friend exactly like this! Every single time I have disagreed, or even hinted there may be another way or reason why people do things, she becomes irate with me. I am not easily irked, but when she does it I want to scream and pull out my hair!

    For YEARS, I have recommended books and therapists, been a listening ear for her personal problems for hours on end, and researched coping mechanisms, to no avail. She tries things for a week, says it's not working and throws it down. Granted, she admits she is depressed but feels stuck. My first instinct is to always help if someone discloses they are in pain, going through a rough time, or if I see someone suffering. My relationship with her has taught me you can't fix people, no matter how badly you want to. When I see her, which is on a weekly basis, I either ignore her rants if possible, or reply with a nod.

    I think it's likely she is on the spectrum. I suggested that to her once, her response was so off the wall you'd have thought I killed her dog or something. She has little to no friends, so I feel obligated to maintain the status quo, but it is so draining!

     

    • Sad 1
  8. 2 hours ago, StellaM said:

    Ignore this if you hate whining, lol

    It was so hot here yesterday, and remained so hot and humid all night, and today I can't cool the house down because I can't open anything - the air is full of smoke and dust. I've run out of meds and I'm checking the air quality like every half hour, waiting for it to drop to at least 'moderate' so I can go out and get my drugs! Ugh.

     

    That's awful!!! I'm sorry this is happening to you all.😭

    • Like 1
  9. 14 minutes ago, Quill said:

    General thought: she’s close enough a friend that I would feel bad “abandoning” her. This is one thing about me: I want to see people get to their better selves, kwim?

    For me, it would depend how much of her situation she has confided in me. If she has, I would be inclined to call her out on it, and help her process.

    If she hasn't, I'd leave it alone. You can't make her see what you want her to see. Maybe in time, if you have the patience. 

    • Like 2
  10. Another thought, some people really struggle with communicating their feelings or have been taught to keep them in, so really have no idea of how to even begin to process or express them in a healthy way.

    Like when a child is crying but has no idea of how to explain what's wrong. Some people never grow beyond that for whatever reason.

    • Like 1
  11. If it's family, I engage only to be polite. 

    If it's a friend, and I notice it happens more often than not, I tend to distance myself, realizing I may have outgrown her/him.

    Most times when people are disporportionately angry, they're either projecting or don't want to deal with the real issues in their lives. In my experience that's their way of releasing their emotions they typically bottle up. Not the healthiest way to get it out, but it is what it is.

    • Like 14
  12. 4 hours ago, lauraw4321 said:

    Quoting isn't working well for me, so apologies for the scattered response. 

    Sorry to have offended regarding birth order. I didn't express myself well, so let's just chalk it up to personality and ADHD.

    She is on meds, but they are mostly in effect during school, so mornings and evenings are tougher. I've been doing a lot of the scaffolding / EF training. I'm going to look into outsourcing it.

    It seems like every time I put into words my worries about this kid, she rises to the occasion to prove me wrong. This morning she was getting ready for school and she wanted to create a training log for me to sign, which currently is a missing assignment. We were running short on time, and to create it she would need to sit down with her calendar and put in dates. I told her I didn't think we had enough time before school. She really wanted to take care of it today and before I could say anything else she said "I know - just sign this piece of paper, and I'll fill in the rest of it during [study hall]. All I need from you is a signature. I can do the rest of it later."

    Damn if that wasn't an excellent bit of problem solving. I praised the heck out of her, signed the blank paper, joked not to write something like "[DD] can buy ice cream every day." and sent her off to school. 

    I think outsourcing it may be a wonderful idea. At that age sometimes even perceived criticism from your mother can negatively affect the relationship. 

    No need to apologize, I personally wasn't offended in the least. 🙂

    • Like 1
  13. There is a thread on the general education discussion board, titled, explicitly teaching ef skills, you may find helpful.

    I am also a first born, and found that the standard and expectations were significantly higher for me than my younger siblings. There is a bit of a learning curve with the first.

    • Like 6
  14. 35 minutes ago, TravelingChris said:

    Are you Jamaican or Bahamanian or from Turks and Caicos or Grand Caymaian? What you can tell your friend is that there are a lot of dumb  people in the world.   As to strange names or strange spellings- there are more than enough  right here in the USA for anyone to comment about any other nationalies or people from other country\s names. 

    Oh sorry, I should have clarified, she wasn't upset at all and no one that commented under her post was either. We all found it funny because it happens so frequently. No one took it on.

  15. 1 hour ago, Thatboyofmine said:

    When questioning or criticizing anything at all about our country, I am seen as unintelligent on whatever topic is being discussed, anti-American, anti-military, ungrateful, and/or a communist or just ignored or someone will roll their eyes at me.  This is just from my family members (not dh & ds).   

    I get it, and it isn't easy.

  16. 9 minutes ago, elroisees said:

    The space issue 

    I think you're right about this.

    I live in Europe right now. Where we live, when you stand in line at a store, the cultural priority is on efficiency.  The folks seem to think I'm so slow,  because the line will move forward and I sort of hang back, with Texan deference in my mind, and they'll cough and bump my cart gently forward with theirs! I'm holding up the line. More people could be unloading their groceries onto the belt if I'd just scoot forward promptly! Think of the time that would be lost if we all dawdled!  They aren't wrong about that.

    On the other hand,  I went home to see my family, and my dad told me to quit crowding the lady in front of us at Walmart.  😂

    I don't take it too personally.  I'd cry all the time if I did. I have to adjust and roll with it.  I try to keep up and blend in.  I'm getting there.

    The space issue is pretty bad here too. I can't stand it, especially when standing in the line somewhere or at a party. 

    I don't get that people want to be that close and personal, unless you're my husband or children, and sometimes not even then! 🤣😂

  17. Earlier in the thread I posted that some Americans have stereotypes of my country.

    A Facebook friend, who lives in the U.S., made a post last night that I thought would be interesting to share.

    My friend had an 8:00a.m. appointment, which she was early for 😄.  Introductions were made and she was invited into the office, but not invited to sit (in my country, we don't sit unless invited to do so). The lady began to ask my friend questions, while answering said questions the lady breathes a sigh of a relief, interrupts my friend while she's speaking to say, "You speak English so well! I was worried when I saw the spelling of your name, and country of origin. You people sure have some interesting names." Then smiles and asks my friend to continue with her reply.

    Just wanted to add, English is our official and primary language.

    Before I get shot, yes, I KNOW not all Americans are like this. 

    • Like 4
  18. 10 minutes ago, SKL said:

    I disagree that everyone in Australia needs to understand US culture because the US has a different political / economic / overall population situation.  People in Australia and many other countries can and do have plenty of misperceptions and have the option to just not give a crap what we are like.  I mean what's gonna happen to you if you don't know how I live my life?  Nothing, as long as you don't spout off a bunch of nonsense about me, and then the only thing that can happen is I can spout back.

    I hear you saying that the US position in the world is a motivator for your feelings and interests, but that doesn't make any material difference to you or me.  Unless you can explain to me what you gain or lose from knowing or not knowing.

     

    We have a saying in my country, when the U.S. sneezes we catch a cold. What happens in the U.S. directly impacts my country's economy. So yes, I have a vested interest.

    If that is a considered a political post, please let me know so I can delete.

    • Like 8
  19. 1 hour ago, Dotwithaperiod said:

    I think part of the problem is that in the US, we leave, for the most part, foreign language classes until students are teens. I’m sure many can take it in middle school, and there are immersion schools but those are probably more available in larger cities. 

    Do the other major countries begin second language instruction at a younger age? 

    Not a major country, we begin at the primary level (grade one).

    • Like 1
  20. 14 hours ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

    Probably because you're overestimating the amount of culture in a typical foreign language class in the US.  I took Spanish in Phoenix, AZ.  What little was in the textbook didn't really apply to the Chicano and immigrant culture I was surrounded by, and some of the language taught in the textbook didn't even apply. And don't get me started on the thick Alabama accent of the teacher.  She was kind of rigid in her thinking, so she couldn't handle the teasing some of the kids gave for it.  If she had just joked along it would've been fine, but the Mexican kids who took the class for the credits made it clear to us we weren't getting pronunciation we could really use.

    What I am trying to say and am obviously doing a poor job of it, is that even though you may never use the foreign language again in this lifetime, the exposure of it along with immersing bits of a foreign culture has value and enriches the mind.

    Like carrying our children to any museum, or play, etc. They don't need it, but we all see the value in doing so.

    • Like 1
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