Well just wanted to update everyone. My daughter's insurance WILL cover a therapist as long as we can get our PCP to give us a referral. I have set an appointment for tomorrow morning. I hope that we don't have any problems. Also wanted to state I do not believe my daughter is a "problem" child. It's very obvious to me something is wrong in our family dynamic. My hands are somewhat tied with my husband. He will not listen to my feelings on the situation. My daughter is extremely disrespectful towards him. He is an ex Marine, so you can imagine how he acts when he feels disrespected. BUT he doesn't try to think of her feelings. This has bothered me for about 2 years now. It has become a battleground in our home when I defend her (which I do oftend). I feel like I have to constantly be the mediator. I have to step in between them and tell them to stop and calm down..etc. My husband says I am downplaying his authority when I do this or when I come to her "rescue". Its a very difficult position to be in. I have told him that he would do the same if he was remarried and his wife was treating the boys this way. He just says I'm wrong and that "he can't do anything in his own house". I really don't know how to change his mind. I've purchased many books on parenting and marriage. I encourage him to read just one, but the books just sit and collect dust.I've tried to get him to join a small group for fathers at our church. I've tried to get him involved in marriage and parenting small groups with me. He just shows no interest. He wants it fix NOW but refuses to see that he has in faults. I just hope that if my daughter gets to see a therapist that it will at least give her a place to go and work through her hurts. I'll keep trying to work on my husband and hopefully God will intervene. Thanks again ladies. All though I feel like most of you must think I'm a horrible parent right now, it does feel good to get this off my chest.

My father (who is actually my stepdad) does not "believe" in them. He believes God is the only answer anyone needs. My mom (who is now divorced from my stepdad) does not have the money to either. My father and I have talked about it before. He just says I need to pray about it. That God will fix it and show me how to change what I need to change. But in the mean time he spoils her rotten and down plays every punishment we put on her. To be honest I kind of need my parents to stay out of it. Someone said there might be a group of baptist therapist who would see us for free or discount. But I'm not baptist and not sure how to find them. I'll have to do some investigating. ;)

You know this might be just what she needs. She was asking if just the 2 of us could go to a movie last weekend. I would have gone too if the boys hadn't been sick. Maybe we'll try again for this weekend.

Thank all of you so much for your thoughts, kind words, and opinions. A little backstory...my daughter's father died before she was born. My father is pretty much the only father figure she had until her stepdad. My father and mother both spoiled her. We lived with them until she was 8, so you can imagine the changes in the past 3 years. Mom married a man (whom my daughter adored when we were dating) and had 2 other children. She acts very well towards my boys and never lashes out at them (anymore then a normal sibling). She still gets A LOT of attention although yes a lot of it is negative because of her attitude. Her and my husband's relationship have gone downhill ever since we married. I've tried talking with both of them, but nothing changes. I do sit down with my daughter OFTEN and just talk to her about whats going on. I ask her to open up to me and tell her how much I love and care for her. She keeps saying she doesn't feel loved or that we act like she doesn't exist...but I swear that is so very far from the truth. If I thought for one minute I was neglecting her I would make a major change. I treat my children as equals. Believe me, I'm the middle child myself! haha I honestly believe the "school" issues are a total separate problem compared to the family issues. However last year I did take a break from shooling her for about 3 or 4 months to see if we could get a few things straightened out. To be honest all it did was make her lazy and have an even bigger attitude when asked to do something. I really do not want to do that again. I did write her youth pastor today and am waiting for an email back. If we had the $ or the insurance to cover some AMAZING therapist I would take her in a heartbeat, but we don't. I was in therapy as a child too. My family background is fairly messed up, so I know the importance of getting her to talk these things out. Although my husband disagrees and thinks "all of that" is just silly. So there is another problem with trying to save the money to get her help. I'll do whatever I can, but a pastor might be all I can swing for now. I just want peace in my home. I want my daughter to be a happy girl with a bright future. I want to ENJOY homeschooling the way I see other parents do. I'm ready to see some rewards for all the hard work...just one little accomplishment to brag about ;) But thank you again for all your replies. It gave me much to think about.

I have mentioned to my daughter that maybe we should get her pastor involved and have a counseling session with him. Every time it gets brought up she starts crying and begging us not to. She says that she'll stop and that she's sorry. But yes it has crossed my mind. Although I have to admit I worry we will get labeled as a messed up/dysfunctional family. I guess if it changes things for the better IN our family it's worth it though.

My 11 year old daughter is trying to send me to my grave. I'm at a point where I don't know what to do about her anymore. This is our 3rd year homeschooling and it has been a fight with her every DAY so far. It's very stressful and puts me in a horrible mood/state of mind most of the time. Now after saying that, putting her back in public school is NOT an option. I'm in this for very distinct reasons and her attitude is on the top of the list. When she was in school she pulled the same stuff she pulls now, but it would take WEEKS to catch her, because the teachers couldn't stay on top of her. She refuses to finish her work or even try to do it. I have tried spending every second of my day watching her and making her do it, but it wears me out and my 2 little ones suffer (10 month old and 2 year old). Now I give her an outline of all the work she has to do for the week and what days. I don't check the work until Friday afternoon (if it's even finished by then). If it's not completed or if its obvious she didn't even try she gets grounded for the whole week-end. On the week days I tell her she can't watch TV, play her DS, play with her toys, or listen to her mp3 player until her work for that day is done. At this point she is doing work until shower time every night and grounded every weekend. My problem is these consequences don't seem to be effecting her. Other then her acting like we are mistreating her and keeping her prisoner. BUT IT'S HER OWN FAULT and I'm tired of being made out to be the bad guy to all our friends and family. I don't know what to do. She has been lying sooo much more recently. I've just never met another 11 year old that acts this way and I'm lost in how to handle it. She is rebellious. She fights with her stepfather EVERYDAY. It's like WW3 everyday when he comes home. Of course, I have to say he is sometimes the one out of line. She throws these unbelievable fits like she is 3 years old. She disrupts my home. She throws things. She makes a huge mess at the dinner table if she is told to finish something she doesn't want. She doesn't wash her hair or her body half the time. She rarely brushes her teeth when asked TWICE a day. She avoids brushing her hair. I am just at a lost for words or action to take. I'm embarrassed to talk with the other women in our homeschool group because I'm sure they would label her and then she'd never be able to have any good homeschool friends. I would so greatly appreciate any advice you ladies have. To get a few typical responds out of the way: She is NOT bored with the work because she is too smart, she is not confused with the work because I explain it to her thoroughly until I KNOW she gets it, I have switched curriculum, styles of learning, times of day, added in more visuals and less tests. It's a big mess. HELP! :banghead:

I posted this on another national homeschool website and the only answer I received was "treat her like she is in bootcamp", it went as far as people telling me to only give her bread and water until her attitude changed. I'm hoping some of you will have some better opinions....:confused1: My 11 year old daughter is trying to send me to my grave. I'm at a point where I don't know what to do about her anymore. This is our 3rd year homeschooling and it has been a fight with her every DAY so far. It's very stressful and puts me in a horrible mood/state of mind most of the time. Now after saying that, putting her back in public school is NOT an option. I'm in this for very distinct reasons and her attitude is on the top of the list. When she was in school she pulled the same stuff she pulls now, but it would take WEEKS to catch her, because the teachers couldn't stay on top of her. She refuses to finish her work or even try to do it. I have tried spending every second of my day watching her and making her do it, but it wears me out and my 2 little ones suffer (10 month old and 2 year old). Now I give her an outline of all the work she has to do for the week and what days. I don't check the work until Friday afternoon (if it's even finished by then). If it's not completed or if its obvious she didn't even try she gets grounded for the whole week-end. On the week days I tell her she can't watch TV, play her DS, play with her toys, or listen to her mp3 player until her work for that day is done. At this point she is doing work until shower time every night and grounded every weekend. My problem is these consequences don't seem to be effecting her. Other then her acting like we are mistreating her and keeping her prisoner. BUT IT'S HER OWN FAULT and I'm tired of being made out to be the bad guy to all our friends and family. I don't know what to do. She has been lying sooo much more recently. I've just never met another 11 year old that acts this way and I'm lost in how to handle it. She is rebellious. She fights with her stepfather EVERYDAY. It's like WW3 everyday when he comes home. Of course, I have to say he is sometimes the one out of line. She throws these unbelievable fits like she is 3 years old. She disrupts my home. She throws things. She makes a huge mess at the dinner table if she is told to finish something she doesn't want. She doesn't wash her hair or her body half the time. She rarely brushes her teeth when asked TWICE a day. She avoids brushing her hair. I am just at a lost for words or action to take. I'm embarrassed to talk with the other women in our homeschool group because I'm sure they would label her and then she'd never be able to have any good homeschool friends. I would so greatly appreciate any advice you ladies have. To get a few typical responds out of the way: She is NOT bored with the work because she is too smart, she is not confused with the work because I explain it to her thoroughly until I KNOW she gets it, I have switched curriculum, styles of learning, times of day, added in more visuals and less tests. It's a big mess. HELP!

I figured it had been asked before. I searched the thread and couldn't find one though. Sorry for the repeat and thanks for the opinion! ;)

Just wondering if anyone has purchased this or plan to. My husband is wanting me to get it for our boys, but $200 seems like way to much money. Couldn't I just use the Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading?? Thoughts..Opinions?

Too many! I would say on average around 8 or 9 hours. My daughter is not a very diligent student. I've been hoping this would change for 3 years....:001_huh: