Thanks for your comment. Yes, homeschooling as a Catholic doesn't seem to be the easiest thing in this area, but everything is possible. There are activities around here, I just have to find them. I looked for an AHG troop and there are none nearby unfortunately I think there might be a Latin Mass homeschooling community so that might be an option too. And she definitely has some options with her love of music. You just become very dependent on school when you have been in it for so long. I've been in school with my kids for 15 years now, including preschool. It's a hard habit to break as a parent.

Oh no, I don't care about the money. I was just thinking ahead to when the next tuition payment is due. I agree, if we pull her permanently, I think I'm just going to have her do a bit of math everyday and read some good books on her own time. I can regroup after the holidays.

I'm not against public school necessarily. It's not my first choice for religious reasons, but it's an option. We didn't go with public school when we moved here because she would have been put into a very large middle school (1000+ kids)

I agree with this so much. One thing that is not helping is social media. I think most of them have phones (which is fine, my kids have phones too for safety reasons). But these girls are all on Snapchat and Instagram. They are 10!!! The terms of service even say you have to be 13. They are just little kids who need guidance and they certainly don't need those possible weapons in their hands :(

Yeah, what I found yesterday did not make me feel better. I mean, their fathers are basically sociopaths. And I'm going to ask the school to work with them to be nicer? It's a joke

Thank you everyone, I will come back and respond to everyone's thoughtful comments. So in today's edition of Truth is stranger than fiction, I started researching the parents some of the girls....just normal internet googling. Nothing major. I started with the parents of the two girls my DD complains about the most I found out that BOTH of their fathers have been indicted and sentenced/plea-bargained/whatever...DELETED (kind of getting scared, reference to white-collar crime) I mean, you just can't make this stuff up. Now I'm just thinking of slinking away from this school....very...very....quietly :leaving:

Just wanted to thank everyone again from the bottom of my heart I have my steps in order now thanks to this conversation. First, I need to first figure out if this school is safe for her to return to. Period. If there is any risk of damage, it just comes off the table. It's not an option anymore. If we pull her, (after taking a breather), then I will come up with a homeschooling plan I think I am getting overwhelmed right now trying to think about these two issues at the same time. I will come back and update and let you all know what happened. Again, sincere thanks

It's a small Catholic school. I think what I would do is just homeschool for the rest of 6th, 7th, and 8th. Then do the normal application process for Catholic or private high school for 9th. The school is ok academically. Not great. I could do a better job at home. My daughter is open to homeschooling. She really is a kid that marches to the beat of her own drum, which I love about her

Thank you for your comment. I agree, the decision can't be made on just whether or not I can create a perfect homeschool environment. Luckily, I don't work outside the home right now and we have the time and resources to homeschool. Will it be perfect? Probably not. But that's not the question right now. (I deleted the rest of your post in the response as I saw the trigger warning and didn't want to re-quote it)...but yes, this is exactly what is on my mind! You see these stories all of the time. The parents always say, I didn't know it was THAT bad. Which makes one wonder, what is the point where a parent says, enough, we're out. I mean, if I'm waiting for an engraved invitation to homeschool, it's not going to happen. Nor is there going to be an official alarm clock that goes off and says, time to do something here Mom! All of this stuff is just a big blob of grey. And let's be real, school officials are often just engaged in covering themselves.

I don't think I was clear, there are sports, but she doesn't play any. There is a Y and stuff, so lots of activity opportunities. I was thinking that about December. I am paid up for half of the year, which would take me through until January. Thank you for sharing your experience from your own teaching. I agree, I think this can be so variable year-by-year, group by group. And honestly, as you can probably tell already, I'm not even blaming the school that much for this. We've talked to the teacher and principal and I do believe they are doing what they can.

Thank you for the reality check that middle school girls are the worst in other places as well. Yeah, we definitely wouldn't need daily activities. I think twice a week to break up the week would be plenty

I would love to do the academic part of HSing. I think we could do a much better job at home (tooting my own horn lol). I think she would enjoy the academic part as well. The social stuff is where I get stuck. It's hard when you're a "schooler" for so long...you really become dependent on that outlet every day. We would definitely go back for high school. Yes, even just the movement from class to class can make a difference.

Thank you. You are right. It just all feels overwhelming. If we do this, it all doesn't have to be sorted out right away. The true decision to make is do we have to pull her from this environment and what we do after that is a separate issue. It's easy to conflate the two.

I'd say she's the most extroverted of the introverts. :) I would say she could be fine spending some days at home for sure. Getting out twice a week to something would probably be enough. We do a lot of family stuff on the weekends.

Her social needs outside of the family aren't super high. She likes school though in general, so this is a tough one I think she wants to be in a school, but not this one.

Oh I also meant to say thank you so much for the thoughtful responses. I really appreciate it. These things are so hard.

I agree, it's unacceptable. Something has to change somewhere on this

I agree 100%, I think this is a particularly bad apple school. I also agree that this stuff is contagious. I don't see where this gets better either unless she makes one buddy? I don't know. I guess the question is what would change the dynamic in this class. I even wonder, what can I even ask the school to do in this case? Ok, I could ask them to make a rule that you can't "ask" people to move their seats. Even if they did that, it will probably just morph into something else. I have an older son (4 years older) He is in Catholic high school and doing fine. No other private schools unfortunately. I've looked for homeschooling stuff and there just isn't a lot of anything. I think the Protestant-Christians have networks set up through their churches, but that wouldn't work for us as many of them have faith statements and I don't think we would fit in there anyway. I would be comfortable with secular groups, but I honestly don't see many. I think most people just use the public schools. No sports. She plays piano very well but that's more of a solitary pursuit.

Oh my goodness that is horrible. Personally, I believe that the on-duty staff are seeing this stuff. It's just easier for them to ignore it. And of course, then I am told to talk to the main teacher, but the main teacher is rarely in the cafeteria or recess. So that's convenient. I have a son who is four years older and middle school was never like this for him. He just was in his own orbit and the boys seemed to leave each other alone. I'm not saying it was perfect, but it wasn't like this with the girls

That's where I get stuck. If the social aspect is damaging, then homeschool HAS to be better. I can definitely come up with some activities once I commit, I just know I won't be that great at it? Yes, I remember in our old town, when I would talk to the public school moms, they all loved the elementary school and the high school. And everyone hated the middle school experience.

I hope this is the right forum for this post! We just moved and we transferred our DD to a Catholic school from her previous Catholic school. She is in 6th grade. She was fine in the old school. But this school has just been a nightmare from day 1. The girls in her class are brutal. Here is a sampling of things that have happened... 1. Every. Single. Day someone "asks" her to move where she is sitting at lunch so their best friend can sit there. She will say No and they will keep asking! 2. One day, one of the girls asked her "Did you have friends at your old school?" I guess the implication was she doesn't have anything here. 3. The gym teacher uses the old-fashioned Captain method in gym class, so she gets picks last every time. 4. The girls won't talk to her. I can't explain it but I can see at times like drop-off. It's like they form two circles (there are 9 girls in the class including my DD) and it's like she is invisible. We've been at this for 8 weeks now and it's not getting better. We've talked to the school, but other than the gym class, they haven't done anything. I'm not sure what they can do...you can talk about "kindness" until you're blue in the face, but how do you make pre-teen girls not be mean to each other? My thought was to pull her out and homeschool until high school. Just skip this whole middle school thing. The academics won't be an issue, she is very bright and I'm not so shabby myself. I admit, I'm terrified of the socialization aspect....I'm a real homebody and there aren't a lot of homeschooling resources in our area. Random thoughts.... Does this merit pulling her out? Do I give this more time? Even if I'm not that great at finding activities for her (I'm sure I can find a few but this isn't my strength), is it better to do your schooling in peace rather than deal with this every day? Any advice welcome :)