mom4sons
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Posts posted by mom4sons
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These young men in their early twenties are obviously trying to show love to their younger brothers. It can be so hard to deal the loss of a parent and the loss of a family. They may unknowingly resent the new family that the younger brothers have.
To be honest, they are probably overwhelmed with their own lives and their own griefs to comprehend the impact of their actions. Hopefully, their wives will be able to bridge the gap in all of this. The wives represent a new family for each of these young men in the same way that you and your sons are a new family to your husband and the younger boys.
I would always treat them as family and love on them. (It sounds like you do an incredible job of loving these men!) One day they will redefine family as they mature. You will be appreciated for your understanding and love especially your sacrifices. Always make an effort to step aside with your boys to help these young men preserve what remains of their "fire-side" family. Use these times as an opportunity to teach your boys about placing others feelings first. I feel for your boys as they have probably endured enormous pains in losing their father to mental illness. Are you working at keeping them "plugged" into their biological father's family? It may not be possible.
It may be especially difficult for you to see the others keep an old family intact and your boys don't have this option.
I always marvel at a friend's family as they are blended. The "step-father" is clearly the father to the two older children; yet he spent years earning this place in their hearts. Now 30 years later, no one would ever know.
Realize the word step is symbolic, both people need to actively step to a place of making it mean family. It sounds like one of the older brothers may take longer or may never reach this place. The dad needs to step closer to the less friendly son.
The dad can take him to lunch and explain that he and you want to see the two of them close. The less friendly son probably needs his dad and one on one time with his dad. This may not make sense, but a secure relationship between dad and son will open the door to a friendly relationship with the "step" family members.
Also love on those daughters in law, they will be new just like you. As hard as it may be, take pictures with the four boys as well as the six boys at gatherings and the blended four. They need the ability to compare the four of them today to the four of them when they were first a family. You may want to give them a framed picture of this. It might be possible to get a picture of the four boys from several years ago and place it with a recent picture.
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Wow! You have motivated me. I tend to carry the weight until my shoulders collapse. When it is completed, I think, "Why didn't I just do this earlier?"
Congratulations!
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Hi Mandy,
My third son is also looking for a good friend. Seth would love for us to set up a playdate sometime. I am willing to drive. Years ago, when I only had three sons, I drove to Sophia's for playdates. It was always worth the effort.
Just tonight, Seth was saying that he wished that he had a good friend like his brothers. The last move was hard so I spent an enormous amount of time trying to make it easier on the 10 and 12 year olds. Now they are fine and my younger two need that same attention.
My youngest made friends with a little kindergartener whose big brother is a good friend to my oldest.
Clear as MUD?
Seth has friends at coop but these friendships have been limited to coop thus far.
On Monday, the boys and I can stay after school until about 4:15. The kiddos could play then.
As far as the coop goes, senior year is difficult anyway so I would encourage him to continue if he wants. It would be nice if the enrichment courses for high schoolers allowed social time and interaction.
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My eldest son is also 12 and it is so important to identify the various types of bullying. While this is typical physical bullying, this is a great time to teach about emotional bullying also.
I stress for my little men to strengthen friendships which encourage and strengthen them. If a child walks away from a playdate feeling less confident about himself, it is important to consider this impact and evaluate future decisions.
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Thank you so much Jean. You have made my boys smile!:001_smile::001_smile::001_smile::001_smile:
My little men and I have tried to find this for several months. My 5th grader learned this in 1st grade.
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We are missing a stanza and we can't remember it.
Thanks
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My boys and I are trying to remember this poem.
I MAY NOT BE A WASHINGTON, A LINCOLN OR A LEE
BUT I CAN BE THE VERY BEST THERE IS TO BE OF ME
WHEN THOSE GREAT MEN WERE VERY SMALL
NO ONE THEN COULD SAY THAT THEY WOULD GROW TO GREATNESS
AND BE HONORED MEN ONE DAY.
THANKS,
PATTI
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My 10 and 12 year olds are helping me to teach a poem to my 2nd grader. We can't find the poem and we are struggling to remember it.
I MAY NOT BE A WASHINGTON, A LINCOLN, OR A LEE
BUT I CAN BE THE VERY BEST THERE IS TO BE OF ME
WHEN THOSE GREAT MEN WERE VERY SMALL
NO ONE THEN COULD SAY THAT THEY WOULD GROW TO GREATNESS
AND BE HONORED MEN TODAY.
We have forgotten a stanza. Please help if you know this poem.
Thanks
Patti:bigear:
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Do any of you have one of these systems? We are building a home. We moved to our hometown and bought 14 acres. We are considering a geothermal system; however, we are hearing numerous pros and cons.
Any opinions?
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My stomach has been turning as I have kept track of this expense all month.
My husband works about 45 miles away. He loves his company, and he has an incredible boss. His job pays well and is secure. He is going to ask his boss if he can work 4 days 10 hours a day. That would cut 20% of his gas. (This would be great, but it is unlikely to occur!)
My husband is also purchasing an older honda accord from a co-worker who is just upgrading his vehicle.
We have decided to sell his larger vehicle which seats 8. We are keeping my suburban for now. I only drive around town, and I am reducing the miles. Once a month I need to drive into a larger city. I am working to organize all trips in order to drive less. I average 13.5 miles per gallon.
In March, my husband and I decided that we were going to have to make some changes.
It has not been uncommon for our gas budget to be between $800.00 and $900.00 a month.
I look forward to cutting those amounts in half. :iagree:
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My stomach has been turning as I have kept track of this expense all month.
My husband works about 45 miles away. He loves his company, and he has an incredible boss. His job pays well and is secure. He is going to ask his boss if he can work 4 days 10 hours a day. That would cut 20% of his gas. (This would be great, but it is unlikely to occur!)
My husband is also purchasing an older honda accord from a co-worker who is just upgrading his vehicle.
We have decided to sell his larger vehicle which seats 8. We are keeping my suburban for now. I only drive around town, and I am reducing the miles. Once a month I need to drive into a larger city. I am working to organize all trips in order to drive less. I average 13.5 miles per gallon.
In March, my husband and I decided that we were going to have to make some changes.
It has not been uncommon for our gas budget to be between $800.00 and $900.00 a month.
I look forward to cutting those amounts in half. :iagree:
Does anyone here know if the origins of "marriage" is a Christian concept ... or??
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Excellent conversation....The union of people has existed for years.
When was the word marriage introduced?
When was the legal term of marriage recognized?
How does this relate to the question of gay marriage?
If the legal term of marriage is opposite sex, what are the options for same sex people who want unions? What has occurred in history?
She will have an incredible paper.
Opening this up to input from the board is wise. Hopefully, she will be challenged to explore this more thoroughly as differing thoughts are shared.