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shinyhappypeople

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Posts posted by shinyhappypeople

  1. 13 hours ago, Quill said:

     

    I always wonder how these different outcomes happen. And - this seems like a taboo we’re not supposed to mention - but I think a major part of why is wealth/socioeconomic background. I think being the child of a successful attorney, who lives in a posh neighborhood where a lot of other high-status professionals live, makes it less likely that kid was going to keep going down that path. I think there is even a role within the extended family. There’s all these examples around the one kid of Uncle Ralph, who is in local politics, or Aunt Suzanne, who is district manager at the post office, and Cousin Steve, who is off to Princeton. But the wayward client - what examples were in her life? Did she have any siblings, aunts, uncles, parents, mentors...did she have anyone to admire and say, “I’m part of that clan, I can become somebody”? 

    Or is it more basic than that, like genetic tendency? I know families with bio and adopted kids in which the bio kid is “successful” in life and the adopted kid is not (so far), though I know the parents poured as much (or more) into mitigating the adopted child’s early disadvantages. Seems as though the issues with the non-bio child goes much deeper, right to the genes. Though it seems depressing to draw that conclusion.

    I am interested in others’ thoughts and observations about this subject. 

     

    Income only matters in that people with mental illness, drug addiction and so on have better access to treatment and, if arrested, aren't relegated to the public defender's office. (No disrespect to PDs, but they're grossly overworked and aren't able to give the same attention as a private attorney would... which is a whole 'nother conversation about how lack of funding for public defenders feeds into certain inequities of the justice system).  

    Money provides options. Options for treatment.  Options for employment post-treatment.  Options for private mental health care. Options for education. That's pretty much it.  It's not about "moral luck" as much as it is being able to afford to play the game.  

     

     

     

    • Like 9
  2. 1 minute ago, Not_a_Number said:

    Well, you don't need to defend it, per se -- I'm actually just suggesting that we could discuss it. I'm curious what logic led you to where you are. 

    Let me make sure I understand. You're saying that there's no long-term safety data on the vaccine, and therefore you can't be sure it's safe, correct? And you're saying COVID has been around for longer, and therefore you know more about it. Am I getting this right? 

    More or less.  Honestly, I'm going to step away from the conversation now.  My point in hopping on this thread was to show one example of why someone might choose to delay or decline the vaccine for non-crunchy, non-conspiracy theory reasons.   

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  3. 27 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

    You said you've evaluated the current evidence and that's your current take, though -- your current belief is that it's better NOT to take the vaccine, so you must think that's less risky.  🙂  I'm curious what data you used to decide that and how you evaluated it. 

    There is no long-term safety data, because the vaccines haven't been around long-term (yet).  Which was my point. There is more data on what effect Covid is likely to have on me, which suggests that my risk of complications or death is incredibly low.  That's how I made my decision.  Next spring, when more LTSD on the vaccine is available, I can re-evaluate my decision.  

    I don't particularly care what other people think of my decision, but I admit it does get tiresome having to defend it.  

    • Like 14
  4. 58 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

    OK, I'll bite 🙂 . Why do you think the vaccine is likely to be riskier than not getting the vaccine?

    I don't know if it is or isn't. I guess that's basically my point. I'm also at very, very low risk of covid complications (much less death) so I have the luxury of taking a wait and see approach.  I certainly recognize that not everyone is that lucky.

    • Like 5
  5. I'm not particularly crunchy nor am I an anti-vaxxer or conspiracy theorist. I don't think the vaccines are part of a nefarious plot. I am pro-informed consent and pro-medical freedom and privacy.

    All that to say, given the lack of long term safety data of any of the Covid vaccines, I'm choosing to delay getting it for now. I'll revisit the issue in a year, do another risk/benefit evaluation and may decide to get it then (or not). 

    This doesn't make me stupid or selfish or unpatriotic. It just means that I've considered the information and come to a different conclusion than some people.

    • Like 23
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  6. 11 minutes ago, Caroline said:

    Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You: A Remix of the National Book Award-winning Stamped from the Beginning by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi is written on a middle grades level. There is an adult version of this book, too. 

    I'm reading the sample at amazon and that looks like a good one to go through slowly and debate/discuss.  Thank you for suggesting it.

  7. This is for 16 yo DD.   She's thinking about going to public school next fall (sigh) and I know that CRT is woven into coursework in her high school.  I want her to be well-prepared and have her own understanding of race and civil rights before (if) she goes, so she can better evaluate what she hears.  Ideally part will be a reading list that addresses historical issues, not just of black people but of other religious and ethnic groups who have experienced marginalization and discrimination in the U.S.  

    Easier books written in modern English (middle school, maybe early high school reading level) are probably best. She has ADHD so this affects her reading speed and comprehension.  

    So far, my list is short: Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglas and Warriors Don't Cry. 

    I could really use some inspiration for books, activities, research projects and videos that might be useful.  Also, a teen-friendly summary of what critical race theory is, so she can examine it and form her own opinions. Also, is anyone aware of politically neutral resources about current issues?  Seems like everything I find shows a clear, sharp bias in one direction or another.  

    I recognize this can be an emotional subject for many of us. Please keep your replies polite and non-political. I don't want this thread deleted or closed.  Thanks for understanding 🙂

  8. On 4/22/2021 at 10:06 PM, EvieR said:

    I have a 10 (almost 11) year old daughter finishing up "5th grade."  She was recently diagnosed with convergence insufficiency.  She has started vision therapy, we're looking at an estimated 12-18 months of therapy.  I'm looking for recommendations for a reading/language arts curriculum, that isn't super intensive.  She is probably low-average as far as reading level goes, however she can't read for long periods of time without developing headaches and eye strain.  I want her to continue with some kind reading and language arts program, without overwhelming her.  She is the oldest of 5 kids, so my time to read and with her is also limited.  

    For reading, you can use large-print books and audiobooks.  Good luck!  FWIW, my 17 yo has convergence insufficiency and was helped by a combination of VT and prism glasses (basically rx readers).  She's reading at/near grade level now.  She still doesn't like it, but she can do it.

    • Like 2
  9. Somehow I missed this before I replied.  Just practice the areas he's weak in.  "Teach to the test."   Saxon books have many lessons of review at the beginning. This will work in his favor.  If you shore up his specific weak areas prior to starting,  he should be fine.  I do think a subscription to Nicole the Math Lady would be helpful once he starts school so he has that as a ready resource in case he has questions.  

    16 hours ago, Sk8ermaiden said:

    Tutoring is expensive and at once a week, it is hurting them financially while not actually getting him anywhere in math. I can't think of any situation that would allow her to slowly catch him up over years that doesn't involve her being the teacher. They are not wealthy, and she is not confident beyond early elementary math, so a school with very small classes and a helpful family friend is looking like the best option. 

    Thanks guys. I got a look at his placement test. The things he's missing from 4th grade/before look like multi-digit multiplication (I think he has the idea but needs more practice), long division, decimal place value (but whole number place value is fine) and I think he's learned basic geometry but needs a refresher. To be honest, I believe he missed several other questions because he did not read the question carefully. (For example, he gave the next number in a pattern when it asked for the 7th number in the pattern.) I am going to hit the ground running with him on Tuesday and hopefully we can make a lot of progress this summer!

     

  10. Forgive me if some of this has already been  mentioned, but I don't have time to read the whole thread right now.  I have ADHD and started medication last fall.

    Right now given his age and diagnosis it's not realistic to expect him to work independently.  He's showing you he is literally unable to do it.  Maybe pare things down to the most essential subjects and then break those down into small steps. Stretch a day's work over a week if he needs it.  Slow progress is still progress. 

    Things that have helped me (in addition to medication):

    Body doubling, breaking things down into itty bitty steps, and no distractions or interruptions.

    Lemme explain what it feels like to have an ADHD brain.  Think back to when you've had to dress a toddler who was in a particularly silly, wiggly mood. Instead of taking just a few  minutes, it takes 20 minutes but  hey, you're finally almost done!  You walk across the room to grab his shoes and... seriously!?... he just wiggled out of his shirt!  And just then a loved one walks into the room and is super judgmental ("You're not even finished getting him dressed?! It's been 20 minutes!")That's what it feels like to try to get my ADHD brain (sans meds) to accomplish anything.  It's frustrating.  It's overwhelming.  And I often didn't even bother trying because I knew (or thought I knew) how things would turn out. (Screw you, brain.  Just run around naked.)

     

    • Like 1
  11. He loves videos, graphic novels, pictures, comics, comedy etc... and I have to say, learns/remembers well with them. 

    My 17 yo is the same way. 

    Graphic novels: Perhaps check out The Cartoon Guide to.... books and use them alongside other resources (I've seen them for history and science).

    We've used some Crash Course materials with study guides.  My only caveat with CC is that the courses I've viewed don't really stand alone, unless you really are just looking for exposure and "checking the box."  They skim the surface and move VERY quickly.  I also find the history courses pretty slanted.  I'm doing the CC Anatomy course with my daughter right now and I really like it.  But we're also supplementing with heavily visual books (A Child is Born, Anatomy made Incredibly Visual) and documentaries. 

    For government and econ we're using Power Homeschool (Acellus).  Short video (<10 min usually) followed by a few comprehension questions.  Rinse and repeat.  I'm adding in lots of documentaries and movies to flesh things out a bit, but the basic course offers the foundational knowledge and vocabulary she needs so the documentaries make more sense.  They have all the usual history courses available and the overall quality of the courses seems to have improved since the last time I used the program, so that's nice.  Time 4 Learning is another option.  I haven't used it, but it looks similar.

     

  12. FWIW, both my girls taught themselves to read through a mixture of Letter Factory, Starfall, and PBS Kids shows.  Actually, I take that back.  We did work through the first set of Bob books with my older DD sometime after Letter Factory, but it was super casual and only when she felt like it.  That was it for formal reading lessons.  Now, despite her significant LDs, her ability to decode grade level words still progresses about a grade level every year due to things she reads for fun (mainly online articles, texting friends, etc.).  Maybe the unschoolers are on to something 🙂

  13. 20 hours ago, SanDiegoMom said:

    My daughter had a tough time managing Ritalin. I always felt she seemed a little high on it but she swears she wasn't.  But she had a lot more highs (and then major lows) didn't eat well and didn't sleep well on it so it really wasn't a great choice! Vyvanse is so much better!

    Same with my daughter.  She tried Adderall (awful, awful, terrible side effects), Concerta (no side effects, but no positive effects either), Ritalin (helped with focus but made her feel like a blob all day), and finally to Vyvanse.  After taking the Vyvanse 4 or 5 times the side effects started to wear off considerably and now, besides the crash at the end of the day where she feels like a blob for an hour, it's all good.  She just eats a big breakfast and sips juice throughout the day.  Oh, also, no more sleep issues.  She has a big bottle of Clonidine gathering dust 🙂  

  14. 20 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

    Oh, man. I really didn’t mean to add any more fear. I’m sorry!
    If I hadn’t found other strategies that worked for me (and by worked, I mean helped, not completely fixed) I would have tried other medications.  The odds are in your favor!

    Don't worry about it!  I'm hopeful that since the Vyvanse is working for my daughter, that meds will be helpful for me, too.  

  15. 4 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

    I take vyvanse and it was life changing. Helps SO much. 

    Oddly, I thought I was terrible at names and faces due to poor memory. But in actuality I think I just couldn't FOCUS on a person long enough to learn those things. A few weeks after starting meds I went to a work even with DH. And for the first time, I remembered people's names!!!! It was MIRACULOUS!!! Normally I literally forget their name AS they are saying it. Like you could ask me their name SECONDS after they say it and I'd have no clue. Which means that trick of "say their name back to them" didn't work, since I couldn't. 

     

    Oooh, that's really cool.  My memory is utter crap.   My brain is like a television where the main channel (what's literally happening in front of me) is kinda fuzzy but okay-ish and then it randomly changes the channel on it's own.  I've been literally looking at someone and trying to listen and then "the TV" (my brain) randomly switches to the Fishing Channel (or whatever) and a few seconds later switches back to the person talking and I have no idea what they said.  It's awkward.  I spend a lot of time smiling and nodding ... and then asking my husband later for a summary. 

    • Haha 1
  16. 4 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

    Honestly, I loved the benefits of Adderall, but I wasn’t able to manage the side effects.  It lifted my “cloud” and made tasks suddenly seem like no big deal to tackle.  That was amazing.

    For me, the side effects were insomnia, lack of appetite, and increased hyper focus (which I didn’t appreciate with 4 small kids at the time.) We adjusted my dosage and timing over and over, but it only worked when I took enough to suffer the consequences and was ineffective when we lowered it enough to reduce the consequences.

    I didn’t try other meds, I just doubled down on other management techniques.

    That said, I 100% believe it’s worth it to try medication. I’m just jealous of those for whom it balances. 🙂 

    I am so scared that meds won't help.  I honestly don't know how I can continue on relying on my "Just try harder" strategy.  It goes waaaay beyond managing day to day details. I am so very, very tired of this.  😞

  17. 27 minutes ago, vonfirmath said:

    The best way to get my son to shut up is for him to bury his nose in a book...

    I was also a book reader when I was youg and sometimes I wonder  -- esp with some of the descriptions above.

     

    Well, I mean, it IS genetic most of the time, so...  🤷‍♀️ 

    I figured out what was going on with me when I suspected ADHD for one of my kids.  As I read the description of girls with ADHD I was all, "Holy crap.  That was ME."  And then the more I went down the rabbit hole, the more everything just fit.  The final confirmation for me was learning about the developmental/maturity delays (basically the idea is that kids with ADHD are about 3 years younger in terms of maturity).  Suddenly my entire childhood made sense.  So when I finally went to the psychologist for a formal diagnosis, I already knew.  The only surprise was that it was ADHD combined type, instead of just inattentive.  I never viewed myself as hyperactive because my fidgeting, impulsivity, randomly getting up and walking across a room for no reason, etc. is all 100% normal (to me) so it never stood out. (Well, the walking across the room thing is a little weird, but the other stuff... meh.)  Anyway, all that to say, it's not a bad idea to look into adult ADHD a bit deeper for yourself. 

  18. and take medication for it, did it really help?  How much did it help?  In what ways did it help?  I finally (!!!) have a med appointment with a psychiatrist next week, and I'm trying to mentally prepare myself.  

    What should I expect during the appt?  It's on the phone which is not my favorite way to do things.  I assume the psychiatrist is not diagnosing at all, just prescribing.  The psychologist who made the diagnosis told me to stop talking so much and just answer yes or no, so I'm a little paranoid that I'm going to say too much or the wrong things.  I could use some btdt advice, please.  I'm nervous. :unsure:

  19. 43 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

    Is Trick or treating banned in your city?   What are your plans for Halloween?

     

     

    It's not banned.  I assume we'll do the same as always: decorate our yard, dress up 🤡, pass out candy🍡, and the girls will go trick or treating 🎃 (in our area teens are welcome to join in the fun).   As far as activities go, it's pretty low-risk: it's outdoors, small groups, and most people will have masks on:ph34r:.   I hope my neighbors join in, because kids deserve to have a bright spot of fun in what's been a pretty lousy year.  

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