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DhanyaCali

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Posts posted by DhanyaCali

    s/o Duggars-Who joins a cult & why?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Dhanya Cali, it's very generous of you to share your story with us!

     

     

    Thank you! We are at peace with what happened now, but we did have bitterness for a few years there!

     

    Oh and I forgot to put on how.why we finally left for good! After we moved I just randomly started reading snippets of the Bible, and was like blown away by the Gospel chapters and Jesus's words in particular. But we were, you know, 10 years in, having both given the BEST years of our lives to ISKCON, every single non family member in our acquaintance for the past 10 years was a devotee!!

     

    So the attraction to Christianity was there for some time, but we were unwilling to make the jump, even though we were VERY dissatisfied with the society.

     

    Anyways, shortly after the birth of our second son, (during which we of course prayed ceaselessly to our deities (idols)) we arranged to have his funeral at the Methodist church that has been my 'family church' for 5 generations, even if no one really attends any more besides Great Grammy. So we sat up front for the sermon, and we were SO touched by the message of hope eventual reunion, God loving children etc etc. Hard to recall it all now, but we were like, we need to hear more of this preaching, and so we started attending the church, and spent the while nest year praying on it and reading th eBible before we made the "switch."

     

    I want to again emphasize that we were reading the Bible and thinking of Christiany before we lost Shridam, I don;t want to be made into a one dimensional caricature of grief who made a rash emotion charged change post loss.

     

    Have you ever heard the rascal flatts song, "God Bless the Broken road that lead me right to you?" DH and I can honestly say we are SO happy to be  christian now and would NOT have accepted Jesus and Christianity without our stint first in ISKCON.

    • Like 8

    s/o Duggars-Who joins a cult & why?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    JUST told a friend about this, so forgive me for cut and pasting, didn;t wanna leave ya'll haning :)

     

      When Dasa was 10 months old and burnt his hand (3rd degree) on a woodstove, they A) refused to call 911, and drove us there instead, B) in the weeks following we took our receipts to them as usual for reimbursement ()we got paid no money but lives there for free, like I said Stava worked 13-14 hrs a day, mon-sun)/ They would reimburse receipts however. Anyways I had stopped doing my service to care for Dasa, he was in bad shape, his whole hand was in a bandage, had to be changed twice daily with silvadene, he was on tylenol codine, etc. So ANYWAYS when we went to get the receipts reimbursed for his bandages, the temple president asked us why we didn't get them from the hospital, he said they should be free at the hospitsal (like in his home country). He basically accused us of like, trying to swindle him, and wouldn't reimburse us for the damn bandages. At this point it is important to note that not only was I not doing my service (Stava was his) but i verbally advocating for a child gate around the woodstove. So basically they were like F you.

     

    I was also wearing sweatpants/PJ pants instead of a sari or Gopi skirt. My whole life felt like it was falling apart if you can imagine., having my baby sustain such an injury was the worst thing I could imagine and I felt horrible guilt, and was barley making it day to day at that point. Mother Parijata, the temple president's wife, took me to the side and asked me that I please start wearing devotional clothes again, it wasn't proper for me to be in pants, sweatpants, around the temple property (which we lived on in).

     

    I was told I needed devotee counseling, and mother counseling, and wife counseling. I was accused of not letting other people watch Dasa enough so that I could do more service.

     

    My neighbor, a single mom of 4 kids, was touted as an example I should follow. I think I may have mentioned b4 that she would leave her ~15mo in their room asleep and then go off to do farm work? He would wake up alone and cry hysterically, ebating his fist againt the door of their room, wailing. I would go get him once we moved into that building, and when she would come back and hour or two later she would always be almost annoyed when she told me, "You don;t have to go get him." Stava told me to stop going to get the boy but I was like, "No, forget that, no way"

     

    When THAT little boy fell down and broke both his legs, she waited a full day to take him to the hospital, and no one would tell us who was watching him when it happened (it was the temple president, they were worried we would blame him or something?) and anyways when she DID take him in, she came back and said that it was two clean breaks on both legs, and they said a cast wouldn;t be nesscary. She was really, REALLY annoyed because she said the nurses KEPT trying to and asking to give him tylenol, even though she kept adamantly refusing.

     

    Dasa's hand and how they treated us was the last straw for living there, but we were still Hare Krishna's when we left a month or so after we left a guy I knew from an ISKCON youth bus tour was arrested during a pedophilia sting, we saw the video. OK, there are pedophiles in every church or group but ISKCON really was hush hush about it, tried to sweep it under the rug. Not OK. We found that he already HAD a record of sexually harassing minors etc. No one EVER told us this when we lived nearhim in FL!!! He gave out gotdang MRDANGA lessons to children of the community. I knew him from youth group, Stava knew him from campus, how freaking SCARY that we may have sent our kid to him for drum lessons??? All because of ISKCON's super hush hush hush no molestation's have happened since the 80's attitude about this. Sickening!

     

     http://www.theyogafarm.com/

     

    that's the short of it anyways, hope it;s comprehensible, there was more deets and shady stuff, but you get the gist yes?

    • Like 2

    In praise of The Story of the World

    in General Education Discussion Board

    Posted

    I too want to gush about SOTW! We listen to it in the car, Volume 1 for now, but I imagine we'll be getting the rest eventually. And I know the text version and real study of it comes up in a Sonlight core for us later on.

     

    Anyways DS5 listens to it in the car, asks for it time and time again and it has lit a FIRE under hum about history!

     

    We do a lot of casual geography too, just getting the ideas out there, my lil homeschooler is just little after all! :)

     

    We have a big world map and a big US map in his room, right by his bed lol because we do NOT have much else for open wall space around the house!

    • Like 1

    Are you offended by swear words? Updated to add extra options and 2nd question

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I am offended by swearwords, or at least I find them tasteless and classless.

     

    My mom casually swears a great deal.

     

    My husband goes on the roller coaster as he tries to quit, sometimes he is fine but other times they slip in regularly . He works with coarse mouthed construction workers (he is a construction worker :) ) all day and it is their day in day out language. We have learned that if he swears at work he will swear at home, so he needs to stop it everywhere to have the mouth he wants to have.

     

    I have a WICKED bad soft swearing problem myself!! Freaking, darn, etc. DH always tells me that that is nearly as bad because the intent is the same, but I haven't been able to wean myself of such exclamatory and descriptive phrases *yet* Yesterday DS5 told me he drew a, "A long line, it's freaking LONG!" though, so I think I have some motivation!!!!!!!!!

     

    Fascinating video about curse words, cites studies done that shows humans can withstand more pain when uttering hard cuss words.

     

    s/o Duggars-Who joins a cult & why?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I was just thinking I can't be the only one on here with ISKCON experience!

     

    I was in high school.  For me - it was attractive because it was so different.  Shockingly different to my friends.  And I wanted that.  And of course all sorts of "exotic" rituals and programs.  And I agree - great food.

     

    In the end I never fully committed.  I didn't like the gender roles.  I didn't really belong.

     

     

    Yeah the gender roles are laaaaaaaaaame!!!

     

    I got initiated by an uber liberal guru who is very much for women's empowerment and an end to mysogony is ISKCON, devotees going to college etc. So my Godfamily was a bit more, eh, liberal, educated, broad minded than your average group 'o' devotees, BUT living in ISCKON for 10 years I couldn't escape the movement wide unhealthy male/female family/bramacari/bramacarini/snyass dynamics you know?

     

    Krishna West is the new non cultish, non Windian, movement within a movement in ISKCON, and a lot of it's my God family. I love it, BUT I am not a devotee anymore, and I don;t want to raise my children in a society in such desperate need of de cultification!

    http://krishnawest.com/

     

    So anyways, when we moved to the commune, Gita Nagari, we were told some things - that we would have a house to live in to ourselves on the property - that Stava (DH) would do all the service and I would just take care of the baby - that there were some projects bringing in Laksmi (money) so that we would make a little money by working them.

     

    We got to our house, and we shared it, we had the middle floor, a mom and her 12 yo were above us, we shared the bathroom downstairs, and there was no kitchen in the house. They eventually gave us a gas cooking stove and the upstairs lady bought a microwave she shared with us.

     

    There was never any money earned or given to us. We would buy things we needed on a monthly or every other month trip to walmart and they would reimburse us though.

     

    My husband did about 13+ hours of service a day, he cared for the cows and ran the dairy, he did all maintenance on the property, cutting wood for the woodstoves, loading the woodstoves, fixing the buildings, pretty much all kinds of crazy stuff. He was extremely stressed and always thought he wasn't doing enough and was afraid we would get kicked out w/ nowhere to go.

     

    I stayed in that house most of the day once it started snowing, he would drive me to the main temple building for morning worship and breakfast, then drive me back, and bring lunch from the hall later.

     

    We had a woodstove but it broke a month later, so they gave us a space heater. My baby was constantly in his snow bunting or jacket, even inside.. it was so cold. Lot of snow in PA.

     

    I started doing early morning (4am) service at the temple, I would drive over for a few hours while DH took care of the baby and then I would drive back and he would go to his service all day and into the night. I started taking on more and more service, cooking, deity worship, stuff like that.

     

    At some point in winter we moved into the main temple building. We had 2 sizable rooms to ourselves, some shared bathrooms, and we were near the industrial temple kitchen and the microwave in the dining hall. That building had HEAT and we were SO HAPPY to be in there!!!!!! It also housed many of the other devotees so was less isolated for me.

     

    They serve two meals a day there, and not too much. Most of the temple's food for the *devotees* came from the foodbank. Let me put out there that Gita Nagari is a "Self sustaining community" We had an organic far and dairy, we collected those things and sold them as farm shares. The food *we* ate came from the foodbank, we rarely got the milk DH milked from the 4 cows. Obviously this was not advertised to the public.

     

    So once the baby went on solid food there was not enough from those 2 group meals! We were encouraged to go on food stamps so we did, we needed that food for Dasa.

     

    My neighbor down the hall was on foodstamps as well, she had 4 kids and got a TON each month. She used them to buy organic butter to make into aguyvedic ghee's to sell, and she gave the proceeds to the temple. I was asked if I wanted to do the same but I was like, "Not really," because you know, that's like, fraud and highly illegal. We used ours to buy baby food and also food for DH and myselfm but we didn;t use nearly all we were slotted, because we were just supplementing what the temple already had.

     

    g2g get school ready for the morrow, be back with the sad end to the tale.

    • Like 3

    s/o Duggars-Who joins a cult & why?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Dhanya- why do you think you joined and why did you decide to leave? Was it hard to leave?

     

    Hmm, well I met the devotees (Hare Krishnas) when I was like 15 or 16, my mom had been doing yoga with them, and some spiritual stuff, chanting etc. So I was around them a lot on high school, we were at the temple a lot. I read a lot of the books and scriptures, they seemed to make sense, went to the temple a lot, decided I really wanted to follow this path to get close to God. Had the attraction of not being a "Sunday only" religion (which is how devotees view Christianity). started chanting (~2hrs a day, it is similar to rosary prayers maybe?), trying to follow the regulative principles (which incidentally I still follow today btw, except for coke a cola) no gambling, meat eating, intoxication or illicit sex.

     

    So yeah, nothing dramatic, like I said I was raised in an extremely neutral environment spiritually, not atheist, not a member of anything. I went to church for a few years as a child, I made my Grammy take me so I could learn about God and Jesus and the Bible, but then left out of dissatisfaction with a few things, and general teenager-iness. So this came along, a pretty intense lifestyle where you literally do every. single. thing. for God and as a means of connecting with Him. So I was EXTREMELY ripe for something spiritual and religious, this must have also had an appeal by means of not being "the man" of that makes sense? It validated my vegetarian mores.

     

    So I got more and more serious about my practice and spiritual life, got initiated shortly after I graduated high school and started college. Lived sometimes at temples sometimes at home, traveled the world doing different festivals, youth group trips, programs etc. Met DH at a festival, we got married (obviously!) had Dasa, then moved out to a farm community in PA. That place was where all the flaws of the movement fell upon our head in a big, bad way. Like I said some places in ISCKON are fairly functional and healthy. NOT GITA NAGARI! Nope. That place is a straight up cult commune and we had bad times there. G2g cook brekkies right now but I will come answer the second half of your question later!

     

    Linkage to our old commune

    http://www.gitanagari.org/

    • Like 8

    s/o Duggars-Who joins a cult & why?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Hey guys. My husband I were both initiated members of ISKCON (the Hare Krishna movement) for a full decade each. We are Methodist now.

     

    So I guess DH and I join cults? Neither of us was brought up religious or atheist as a child, so there was room for something.

     

    It is s legit cult, although the diet is highly varied and high in protein, so I'll give em that. Rally REALLY good food. Some other unhealthy stuff. Some places more cultish than others, some communities borderline healthy and functional.

     

    We left after some bad stuff. So very happy that we did,

     

    Happy to answer any Q's, so long as no one calls me an idiot. Only I am allowed to call past me an idiot! :)

    • Like 15

    PSA: Jamberry nails are NOT all they're cracked up to be!!

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Usborne is different. At least I think so. I truly hate the MLM, and being invited to selling parties. But I have been thinking about having an usborne party or whatever at my house, just to look at more books in person.

     

    I'm trying to decide if the invite will feel to my friends like it feels to me to be invited to a 31 party. Ok, that came out confusingly. But does anyone mind going to a party to buy books?

     

    See I think so! That it's different I mean. Book are awesome and can't really be lemons. But then I would think so, wouldn't I? lol :p

     

    I too miss being invited to parties where we would like, eat junk food and NOT be expected to buy things, but people honestly seemed excited to come to the book parties I have thrown so far. And I'm not manic about it so when the few people are just like, "Nah" we keep chatting and it hasn't been weird. But then maybe I surround myself with other Bibliophiles.

     

    I had a book party years ago at my house and loved it! Only sales party I ever had. (er then, obvi I am consultant now and it's kinda my jam - bu that's almost 100% online. Yay for not cleaning my house)

    Starting K5--Curriculum help

    in PreK and K

    Posted

    My 5 yo seems a little bit less advanced than yours, basic reading only, some addition, and MFW K is waaaaay not academically challenging for him. But I honestly like it for the FUN, and as an easy way to do unit studies, I wouldn't want to DIY those honestly.

     

    Maybe look into MFW 1, never tried it. Or Sonlight core A which lot's of people use for First grade or for challenging K. Or hodgepodge the best of everything, let us know how your journey unfolds! <3

    Timberdoodle or My Father's World?

    in PreK and K

    Posted

    I also want to do tot school fun w/ my 2 year old this year. They both look so good! (we use MFW K for the older boy)

     

    MFW is going to be a more affordable option right? So there's that. But with both places you can buy ala cart if there is something you really want.

     

    Soooo, following right along with you, I know what you mean about wanting something "school" time to do. It helps me to be intentional with my time and not just drift along through the day.... lol!

    • Like 1

    So confused on curriculum

    in PreK and K

    Posted

    Aw man can I see your packet too? We choose our stuff and this is HS year 2 so if nit I understand.

     

    I agree with the above, check out the 101 curriculum book, it has a nice learning stly quiz. And I also agree that you got this!

    The Venting Thread

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    {{{HUGS}}}

     

    i know that feeling.  I'm too conservative for half of my friends and too liberal for the other half.  Way "too Christian" for one group and not Christian enough for the other.

     

    You just keep on being you, DhanyaCali!

     

     

    Me too! I am a freak! I actually take stances; on life, parenting, religious, political.. issue by issue instead of sticking to one group.

    I am sooo conservative to my IRL friends (not many Christians) because I try not to swear, I don't drink and am a prude about media and stuff lol, and them I am this flaming dangerous liberal with "unbiblical interpretations" on th eSL forums! Drives me a bit mad at times...

     

    Oh I'm so with you... except my problem is I am uber conservative in some things and liberal in others. I'm a large family, headcovering wearing, dresses only, socialist who loves metal music and has friends who the conservatives I know probably wouldn't let in their house. 

     

    I guess that's what comes from an 'interesting' adolescence. 

     

    I am so glad there are other who understand how I feel! I'm a skirt only momma but support women;s right to wear whatever (hope they choose modesty, but I can't force it on them, and it doesn't look the same for everyone).

     

    I think I could style myself socialist too :) Ex/ I think the despised 'welfare state; of aid to low income families is a great example of a way to 'feed my sheep.'

     

    When politics is up I really can;t throw myself to the left or right! Socially liberal, pro life, pro homeschooler's rights.. it goes on and on and isn;t cohesive to either of the two main narratives!

     

    I never let anyone into my house however... LOL I need more friends!!

     

    I am the same way.  I am actually not conservative enough for my church in some ways, but we keep going for many reasons.  But some things they say (not the head pastor, just people in the congregation) make me roll my eyes.

     

     

     

    Sorry, I wouldn't want a party either.  I really detest anything MLM.  I have one friend who has joined a few of them, and I get it, but I am not a sales person and I have way too much 31, Mary Kay, etc....around here from buying to "support" my friends.  I am now officially DONE with anything MLM.  I have no desire to buy, sell, or anything otherwise.  

     

    We are Methodists (and liberal ones at that)... but we are seriously considering joining to local Baptists church for their AMAZING kids programs and mission/outreach work. It could be interesting.....

     

    Haha I hate most MLM parties too. I don't need a $60 decorative tote! Basically I think all of them are lame except for what I sell, usborne books . Probably a lot of moms could say the same for thir products though.

    • Like 1
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