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Highereducation

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Posts posted by Highereducation

  1. So, when I next see 89-year-old "E" at a swim meet, I should walk up to her and let her know how it "really" is. "E-honey, since most of your peers are in nursing homes and unable to get around much, you need to go home and stay home. After all, you're scaring the kids." "Never mind, that you are 89 and still racing a 400 IM. It's not about the healthy lifestyle, it's about how you look." "Now go home you brazen hussy and sit in your recliner where you belong." "Have you no dignity or pride?"

     

    "E"'s 4' of blue-hair, sags,wrinkles,and spunk galore. And yes, I think she is positively gorgeous. I also think she is an outstanding role model for myself and my children.

     

    Honey, you go ahead and do whatever you want. Because if you're taking my opinion that seriously and getting all defensive, obviously I hit a nerve!

  2. See, again...I'm looking at this from a whole different point of view. It has nothing to do with whether the woman is skinny or fat or somewhere in between. It has to do with respect - for herself and others around her.

     

    My girls are all TINY. My oldest is 13, 5'2, and weighs 92 lbs. She eats like a HORSE - and everything in sight. She has a perfectly healthy body image and we've never said anything about what she eats or doesn't eat. She's just a normal kid....and if one was talking about bikini bodies, well, she'd have one. However, she respects herself too much to wear something like that. I, for one, am thankful for that, too.

     

    I'm not overweight, nor have I ever been, but I just respect myself and my husband too much to go out of the house with less than half of my clothes on.

     

    Again, some people are getting hung up on stretch marks or fat rolls - who cares!? I don't want to see ANYONE walking around in what is essentially their underwear. I just don't get how anyone can think that's self-confidence. True self-confidence wouldn't make you dress like that...it would be confident enough in the way that you look to not have to show off everything to anyone that wants to look.

     

    I have a dear friend who tells her teen daughter's friends that come over in a low cut top, "My old geyser husband can see your boobs, you might want to cover them up." I just think that's hilarious. Thankfully all of our friends also dress modestly and so we can go to the pool with them and never have to worry.

     

    I want my kids to remain pure - in body, in mind, and in heart. I greatly appreciate all of my friends that feel the same and help us to that end.

     

    However, I realize that not everyone is going to agree...so it's probably a thread that's better left at "Agree to Disagree".

     

    :iagree::iagree::iagree:

     

    Well said! I was approaching this from an age perspective, not a body image perspective.

     

    40 year old woman in a bikini - why? And this has nothing to do with Europe. In Europe, women age gracefully. They're secure in themselves. It's a different culture. In America, women are dragged kicking and screaming away from being 20. Being called old is the worst insult ever. Instead of embracing their wisdom and accepting a new phase in their life, they try to hang onto every remaining shred of youth.

     

    In our culture, bikini = sex. Wearing a bikini is asking to be looked at. So for all of the posters that are calling foul for *gossip* and *criticism* -hey, if women who wear bikinis don't like the attention they're getting, whether it be positive or negative, then they shouldn't hang the goods out for inspection.

     

    And if they want to parade around like that in public - yes, public - then they're fair game for those of us who would rather not have to look at them.

     

    It's not snark. It's opinion. Does anyone here honestly think that the majority of these women look good? Because the truth is, they don't. Sure, there are exceptions. And this is not a weight issue, either. After a certain age, when things go south and sag and wrinkle, it's just not a good look at all, even for a woman who's skinny.

  3. I'm very big on hugs with dh and dd, but I was raised in a family that was not into displays of affection at all. It left me confused. When I was a teenager I had no problem hugging people - never thought twice about it, because I guess I had some catching up to do, lol! - but now, at 40, I prefer to only hug those in my immediate and extended family. Germs bother me to a certain degree, and my area of NJ is very big into the air kiss, and those annoy me to no end.

     

    Hugging actually became an issue with the girl one of my siblings married. She was from a huge Italian family and was used to kissing and hugging everyone, and my somewhat reserved German/French/Irish, anti-air kissing family was a bit of a shock to her. At one point she was very angry and hurt by it, and it came out in an argument that she found us to be very weird. Maybe we are.

  4. I grew up on the West Coast and went to school on the East Coast, where I now live. But I lived in the Midwest for 4 years after grad school, and I'd move back in a heartbeat if I had the opportunity! :D

     

    Agreed. I don't find the East Coast to be *more* anything, except perhaps more rude and rushed! And I grew up here!

     

    Dh and I spend considerable time discussing our move to Montana. Wishful thinking!

  5. No, I don't.

     

    I got spanked once as a child and there was also the everpresent threat of the dreaded wooden spoon, lol.

     

    Not long after that spanking I ended up needing kidney surgery. Totally unrelated to the spanking, but I was a vindictive kid, and I told my parents that it was their fault. So there was a lot of guilt on their part for years. I made them feel awful.

     

    Anyway, my position on spanking is this: if I'm teaching my kid not to strike out at others, then spanking is hypocritical, and sets a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do precedent. IMO, it results in confusion for the child and sets up a lack of trust. Again, that's just my opinion. I have friends who feel differently and do spank their children, and we agree to disagree.

  6. Here's another one of mine - people who walk around or store, or wait on line, talking loudly on their cell phone. Especially if they're arguing with the person on the other end. Why is it ever a good idea to broadcast someone's business that way?

     

    The other day we were down in Hoboken (on our way to the Cake Boss bakery - yum!) and some guy was standing on the street corner screaming into his cell phone, including every four letter word you could imagine. We were stuck at a traffic light, so I told dd to cover her ears. It was a relief when he finally got angry enough to hang up on the person.

  7. Why must there always be a goal involved around competition? What's wrong with teaching our children that it is okay to learn to do something for the pleasure of doing it? Riding is a wonderful skill to have and a hobby that can be carried on through life.

     

    Yes, horseback riding lessons are expensive. But so are golf lessons, batting cage fees, tennis lessons, music lessons, etc. I bet there are children represented here who participate in those activities but do not have the intention of competing in the respective area.

     

    My DD loved horses. She grew up riding my inlaws horses and dreamed of having her own horse. Well, we bought her one and she was happy, rode very day and took wonderful care of the horse. Then she was encouraged to begin showing. The expenses increased dramatically (show clothes, show saddle, trailer fees, entry fees, picture fees, hotel/campground fees, special shoes from the farrier). Extra time was devoted to perfecting little nuances (the way the horse held her head at the trot, the slight movement of a leg in the stirrup). The focus went from having fun with her horse to shaving off precious seconds during pole bending.

     

    The back biting in show circles was terrible. You had to have a particular trainer, come from a particular barn, have a particular pedigree. Without those things it didn't matter if you had the best horse - you weren't going to win. Horse judging is subjective in halter, horsemanship, showmanship. If the judge has a particular idea of what he is looking for and you don't have it you have lost before you enter the arena. The only things that are objective are the speed events. Then it's you and your horse against the clock.

     

     

    DD, who has always disliked competition, woke up one day and said no more. That was two years ago and she hasn't ridden since. The shows killed her joy and wounded her spirit. After months of paying for a horse that wasn't being ridden I decided to give riding a try. I have been riding for a year and have no intentions of showing. I much prefer riding the trails and enjoying my beautiful mare for what she is - an awesome companion.

     

    :iagree:

     

    Well put!

     

    Unfortunately, I find it to be the same in the world of dog shows. Not so much the expense, but definitely the back biting and nastiness.

  8. People who post their entire reply to a thread in BOLD

     

    Or all in CAPS. They do that a lot on the hockey forums I visit. I guess they feel like they're making a point, but it's sort of like hitting a flea with a sledgehammer.

     

    Oh, and one I just thought of - for whatever reason, when people type h8ter. It doesn't even make sense! It's not shorter, because they're only replacing the "a" with an 8 - plus, 8 has a "t", so it ends up being heightter. I know it's more about what's intended, but I don't get it. H8er would be more correct, I guess, but it looks even weirder than h8ter.

  9. Anyone ringing my telephone who is not someone I love, The Pope, or The President. They don't leave a message, but they'll call back and ring my phone again until the machine comes on.

     

    Computer viruses, glitches and other mal-aggravation.

     

    Bits of food in the sink.

     

    Flies buzzing around, especially the loud kind that are too savvy to land and get themselves smashed.

     

    All the hair that routinely falls from my head. What is up with that? I'm amazed I have so much left.

     

    When dh or kids say, "What's on the agenda for today?" I know this should not bug me so much, but it does. Makes me feel as though I should have every moment of my day planned out ahead of time.

     

    People who vulture for a parking space, blocking up the whole production, waiting for Grammy to get organized from her shopping trip. Especially when there are perfectly good spots just a row or two away. Really, people. Will you die of exhaustion because you had to walk one more row?

     

    We don't have an answering machine by choice, because we can see who called from the caller ID. I am continually amazed by the complete freak-out and indignation most people give us after they call and it just rings without going anywhere.

  10. :iagree:

     

    Was the website that tells their story something for family/friends to see? Like a blog? So that people who knew and loved this family could keep up with what was going on?

     

    That's very different from "Hi! We're pregnant! Send us stuff!"

     

    Either way, of course the hate mail is over the line. Absolutely.

     

    Well, I guess the site is partly to help loved ones/friends keep up with what's going on, but I think it's also because they realize they're going to be up against it financially with six kids all at once, so they wanted to spread the word. I could be wrong. But it's not presented in a way that most people would find offensive, like asking outright for cash and things.

     

    The kind of mail they're getting is along the line of "You'd better pray those kids are healthy before you plan to cash in on them," and "I pay taxes and I don't want my money going to support your kids," "women weren't meant to have a litter," etc.

  11. How about people who make up a new screen name to bash others.

     

    I thought I was pretty current on what was going on around here, but I guess I missed something, except that I did see those incredibly rude posts.

     

    Anyway, my latest pet peeves usually have to do with spelling and grammar on CNN and other established sites, i.e. when they say that someone is a trooper instead of a trouper.

     

    That one makes me laugh. I always imagine whoever they're talking about in full state trooper uniform, complete with gun and badge.

  12. I haven't been following the whole Jon & Kate Gosselin mess the way I once was (yay!).....but someone brought the following to my attention, and I found it - well, let's see what you all think.

     

    There's a woman in Texas who is currently pregnant with sextuplets. I believe that she and her husband are Mormons, and when the docs suggested that they reduce the number of embryos, they declined because of their beliefs. They have started a website that tells their story (she had fertility problems and lost twins previous to this pregnancy); now they are journaling their lives up until the babies are born. They have a wish list - for the normal things that any expectant couple might want. I don't believe there are any plans for a TV show in the works, but I could be wrong. From what I saw of the website, they are just a couple who desperately wants a family.

     

    Some of the posters from one of the anti-Gosselin websites got ahold of their story, and they have been sending hateful emails to the couple regarding their wishlist and other things. Someone finally tipped the wife off to what was going on. She had no idea why she was getting hate mail from strangers, and I can't imagine how she must have felt when she was reading it.

     

    Does anyone think that's a form of harassment, or is everything one puts on the Internet fair game for both well-wishers and haters alike?

  13. I never really thought about this until I read the OP.

     

    It's funny, coming from a theater background, I was taught early on *never* to wish good luck to someone in the theater. But saying break a leg annoyed me even when I was a child. I though it was ridiculous, so whenever it came up I would say, "go get 'em" or "do well."

     

    To me, saying good luck is pretty much synonymous with best wishes, or hope it goes well. But now that I realize it might offend or annoy, I'm going to rethink it.

     

    I just can't believe I've managed 40 years of Christianity without making the luck/God connection.

     

    Sometimes I think I'm Marcy from Peanuts. It really takes me a while to catch up with what's going on!

  14. Oh, gosh, does this bring back memories! I won't get into it - let's just say that this problem even extended to my own family. I had a sister who literally hated me because of my singing and dancing ability.

     

    I don't care what anyone says - words hurt, and they stay with you for a long, long time. When I was younger, I brushed most of it off, but as I got older, people's remarks really bothered me, to the point that it changed who I was and made me really unsure of myself. I'm only now, at 40, allowing myself to deal with some of those experiences, especially those from high school. Kids can be really mean.

     

    The only advice I can offer may not be suited to your dd, but is there any way she can turn the other kids' nonsense around by offering to help? For example, if the girls at the park are ticked off because dd can cartwheel better than they can, what if she came back with something like, "Well, your cartwheel is good, too - and if you keep your legs straighter, it will be even better."

     

    I know it sounds kind of lame, but years of experience have taught me that sometimes the best way to disarm those kinds of people is to take their focus off of you and put it back on them!

  15. My dd8 is just starting lessons. She was given the choice between Western and English and she chose Western, partly because she wasn't interested in jumping or competing.

     

    She's exactly like your dd in that she wants to learn all she can about caring for a horse and all that goes with it in the hopes of having one of her own someday.

     

    I don't know why the person who is giving your dd lessons doesn't understand where your dd is coming from, but maybe over time she'll start to get it?

  16. I would definitely talk to the owner. It doesn't sound like this teacher knows what she's talking about!

     

    I was *allowed* en pointe when I was 7 (yes, I'm cringing as I type this). Things were very different then - it was the mid 70's and no one was thinking about the effect on bone growth, etc. My parents had no idea what it was all about, and what little girl who loves ballet is going to turn down that kind of offer, lol! I remember going to about ten different ballet shoe stores before someone could even find my size, my feet were so small!

     

    The woman who ran my ballet school (God rest her soul) was a very sweet old lady who had been on Broadway in her prime, and I guess her motto was "if you can do it, why not!"

     

    Regrets? Sure. I have a seriously bum ankle now, and if you could see my feet, ugh. Once when I needed to have an x-ray, the tech stared at my feet for about ten minutes and said she'd never seen feet like that before! The arches are a mess and it's nearly impossible to find shoes to fit.

     

    Live and learn, right? But like I said, I'd talk to the owner. There's no way something like this should be an overnight thing.

  17. That is my son's Xbox quote! His teammates get a kick out of it.

     

    This year, he had "shut 'em up & shut 'em down" on the back of his mask. It's a line from Racing in the Streets by Springsteen.

     

    I google reincarnated rangers goalie and got a great article! (The goalie you mentioned was Gilles Gratton.)

     

    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/13/sports/hockey/13goalies.html?_r=1

     

    My other son is starting in a league whose head used to play D1 at goalie. He says goalies were so twitchy b/c it hurt! He told me he'd come off the ice with puck marks every practice & game.

     

    I remember John Davidson talking about the hazards of playing in the late 70's, early 80's - his chest was constantly bruised. I can't even imagine how difficult it must have been to play goal when in addition to worrying about letting one through, they had to worry about how much it was going to hurt if they stopped it!

  18. The way I look at it is, every game is more experience. Somewhere down the line, this will come into play, and he can draw on it for both the positives and negatives, i.e. no defense and he still hung in there and didn't let it mess with his head!

     

    Goalie is my favorite position, always has been, maybe because goalies are looked at as a breed apart and it definitely takes a certain kind of person to do it!

     

    The best quote I ever saw about playing goal was from Jacques Plante: "How would you like a job where when you made a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?"

     

    The other one I always liked was the guy who played a season for the Rangers (can't think of his name at the moment) who claimed to be a reincarnated Spanish soldier or something, and told the coach he couldn't play if the moon wasn't in the right phase!

  19. I watched the NHL draft last night.

     

    When it was the Rangers' turn to select, the personnel paid tribute to one of their young prospects who passed away early this year, suddenly and unexpectedly, of a heart ailment. During a game in Russia.

     

    And that reminded me of how upset I was when it happened, and how very tragic it was, but also how quickly life moves on, even for us fans who were sure that kid, Alexei Cherepanov, was going to be the next big thing.

     

    MJ's story has legs (sorry, no pun intended), but once the funeral and memorials are over, it will fade quickly. I truly hope that the custody arrangements for the kids, regardless of if there's a fight or not, remain civilized and quiet, and out of the media glare.

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