AmyB
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Posts posted by AmyB
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11th commandment: thou shalt not respond to a nasty poster for fear of getting thy head ripped off. Don't worry. Rule learnt.
This Internet stuff is new to me. We just got our first computer. I'll use it for business from now on since there is clearly no point in being here. Neither of your points is worth a response.
I was responding emotionally to the second poster. Please excuse me Peek a Book. Posts like that do bring up emotions. She has had a culturally rich life (full of Tommy Tinkers, I think), but all she can do is complain.
Please note that a national health care system is not the same as military medicine or the dole. Many believe that it is immoral to take advantage of someone financially when they are ill. This sentiment is voiced all the time by people in the health care system in countries other than the USA.
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We didn't purposefully teach our kids to speak various languages or dialects, but they learned them. When we move, they forget the previous one, and learn a different language or dialect. We speak various languages and dialects at home, depending on where we are. We just practice at home as much as we can. The kids can speak some very cool dialects, and ds is in demand at his drama group because of that.
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I highly disagree with that last post. If you go into another country with a chip on your shoulder, or thinking that the USA is best, you cut off your opportunity to learn. People all over the world respond to kindness.
Socialized medicine is fantastic. The American system is lousy and expensive and wasteful. Doctors there always choose the most expensive option. If you think it is great, just watch someone in your family die, and watch the doctors rub their hands with greed that last month. I wish my father had been with me while he died. He would have got much better care here... and we are in a country that is relatively poor compared to the USA.
For the OP, it is easy enough to find a contract job in another country for a few months. I wouldn't stay in another country for more than a year, because you begin to get tired of it, and the thrill of sightseeing wears off. We are filling out the papers for Georgia right now. The Georgian script is curvy and beautiful. I feel like I am filling out something very important. Our unofficial headquarters is in London, so whereever we go, we stop off there for a couple weeks to do the paperwork that we can't do in more provincial areas. If you live near a big city with embassies, you should be able to do all the paperwork at home. It makes things much easier.
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I grew up in a big family, and we never went anywhere. I read adventure and travel books when I was a kid, and I have spent my adult life living out my adventure dreams. Dh just got back from Tblisi, and it looks like our next job will be in Georgia. He said it is beautiful. A lot of Greek myths are set there, and culturally it is very interesting.
Dh and I are thinking of buying my old family home, but we'll probably rent it out until we get tired of travelling. I don't want to move back there, then die of boredom.
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Iron, calcium and B-12 are the minerals and vitamins to watch. If she is a strict vegetarian, she needs to find some source of B-12. Vegetarians end up eating vastly more fruits and vegetables than other people, to make up the calories.
Dd is an athlete and she has to record everything that goes into her body, every cup of water. She has a daily target chart for food and exercise that she fills out, and I picked up on the idea too. Here is the diet part of mine. Obviously, you can eat more than this, and I usually do eat considerably more f and v than charted here.
F and V- 7 small or 2 large 1 2 3 4 5 6 7c (citrus)
greens- 100 g or 1/2 package 1
carrots- 2 small or 1 medium 1 2
B-12 (I take it as a pill once a week)
calcium- 1500 mg (you get so that you know how much calcium is absorbed from certain foods, so I usually end up taking one 500 mg calcium tablet per day)
iron-
flax seed- 1 1/2 T
sun
Brazil nuts- 2 (selenium)
water- 8 c
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It sounds like your son has learned a lot and is a very sensible boy. How lucky you are to have a son like that.
Laurie, I just wanted to say that yes, harrassment is against the law, but lawsuits are costly financially and emotionally, and they take years to go through the system. It is much better to teach your child how to deflect bullies and deal with them. I tell dd she will never get away from it. Almost every place she works, almost every group she is part of, whereever she goes to school, there will be someone who picks on others. You can't spend your life leaving jobs and dropping out of school or favorite activities.
I picked dd up last night, and I met one of the guys she has stuck up for. He is a big guy, a muscular gymnast, yet he felt unable to stick up for himself. He is soft spoken and polite. He is from Nigeria, but has spent years living in different countries. He was very happy to meet me, and I told him that the kids need to stick together against the bullies. They come and don't last very long, but they cause damage while they are here.
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It is so hard to find the correct factual information at a library. You go through tons of books. Most of that stuff can be found in very little time online, unless it is specialized stuff that was written in the 1940's or something.
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I won't tell you what happened to him. I just hope it doesn't happen to anyone you know. I know what you are going through Colleen. It is tough.
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If you don't learn to deal with bullies, you relive it your entire life, in your marriage and friendships and you even teach your kids to be bullies or victims. Because we hs our kids, we tend to protect them, so when they face the normal bullying that kids face, they are stunned and don't know how to cope, and that makes them more likely to be victims. Wait until you can see your child has the confidence to deal with bullies, then let them learn before they leave home. It is excruciating to watch.
Ds went through a couple vulnerable ages, 13 and 15 (he still is 15), but his confidence is getting better. He is still hsed, helps with the business, and is a great salesman. I don't think he is going to have the problems dd had with bullying. He loves being around people.
Dd was in school twice. She was bullied both times, and I pulled her out and hsed her. At 16, she was accepted to a full-time athletics program. She knew she would have to learn to cope with the bullies, or she would blow her big chance. She couldn't have done this at 15. She has dealt with a girl on crack, a couple bulimic girls, kids on performance-enhancing drugs (they never tell, but everyone else can tell they are on them), verbal abuse and now a boy who hits. The first time he hit her, she hit him back right away, and he never hit her again, in fact he never speaks to her. The first time she was verbally assaulted, she spoke out immediately, and he never assaulted her again. Dd's coaches were shocked that this sweet girl would do this, but it worked. It took dd a while to learn.
Bullies find everyone's weakness, and pick at it until the victim caves in. If they face immediate resistance of the same sort they are dishing out, they don't try again, but, unfortunately, they move on to easier victims. Dd looks easy because she is sweet, but the bully finds out quickly that she will give as much as she gets. Two very committed and talented boys have dropped out because of the bullying, and it looks like a third boy will move to another training center that is not as good as this one. Dd hates watching these kids go, so she has started sticking up for the victims. Sometimes all it takes is to walk over and stand in a relaxed manner next to the victim while the bullying is going on. Sometimes dd needs to speak out. The bully goes crying to the authorities that he is being picked on, but if your kid has a good name, nobody believes the bully.
There are some good movies on bullying. Dd loves Odd Girl Out, and Mean Girls is also a good one, but they are both on girl-to-girl bullying.
I hope this works out for you. It is very hard to watch your child go through this. If it makes you feel any better, you need to realize that when the bullies get a couple years older, their dads won't be able to control them, but you will still be very close to your son. What goes around comes around.
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If you don't learn to deal with bullies, you relive it your entire life, in your marriage and friendships and you even teach your kids to be bullies or victims. Because we hs our kids, we tend to protect them, so when they face the normal bullying that kids face, they are stunned and don't know how to cope, and that makes them more likely to be victims. Wait until you can see your child has the confidence to deal with bullies, then let them learn before they leave home. It is excruciating to watch.
Ds went through a couple vulnerable ages, 13 and 15 (he still is 15), but his confidence is getting better. He is still hsed, helps with the business, and is a great salesman. I don't think he is going to have the problems dd had with bullying. He loves being around people.
Dd was in school twice. She was bullied both times, and I pulled her out and hsed her. At 16, she was accepted to a full-time athletics program. She knew she would have to learn to cope with the bullies, or she would blow her big chance. She couldn't have done this at 15. She has dealt with a girl on crack, a couple bulimic girls, kids on performance-enhancing drugs (they never tell, but everyone else can tell they are on them), verbal abuse and now a boy who hits. The first time he hit her, she hit him back right away, and he never hit her again, in fact he never speaks to her. The first time she was verbally assaulted, she spoke out immediately, and he never assaulted her again. Dd's coaches were shocked that this sweet girl would do this, but it worked. It took dd a while to learn.
Bullies find everyone's weakness, and pick at it until the victim caves in. If they face immediate resistance of the same sort they are dishing out, they don't try again, but, unfortunately, they move on to easier victims. Dd looks easy because she is sweet, but the bully finds out quickly that she will give as much as she gets. Two very committed and talented boys have dropped out because of the bullying, and it looks like a third boy will move to another training center that is not as good as this one. Dd hates watching these kids go, so she has started sticking up for the victims. Sometimes all it takes is to walk over and stand in a relaxed manner next to the victim while the bullying is going on. Sometimes dd needs to speak out. The bully goes crying to the authorities that he is being picked on, but if your kid has a good name, nobody believes the bully.
There are some good movies on bullying. Dd loves Odd Girl Out, and Mean Girls is also a good one, but they are both on girl-to-girl bullying.
I hope this works out for you. It is very hard to watch your child go through this. If it makes you feel any better, you need to realize that when the bullies get a couple years older, their dads won't be able to control them, but you will still be very close to your son. What goes around comes around.
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abuse, poverty
No, I wouldn't have been able to deal with it as gracefully as my parents did, esp Mom.
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Can you use tapioca to make anything other than custards? I have never used it. I recently bought sago, which is like tapioca, and the only recipes I can find are for puddings. I love the puddings I can make with sago, but I am just wondering if there is anything else I can do.
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I think it is a genetic condition that fits how you describe your son. See a doctor or physical therapist. It sounds like your son really needs help.
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YOu should pull him out and try a different troup or a different activity. Thirteen is a very sensitive age for boys and girls, and confidence hits bottom, so it is the wrong age to be bullied. It can have lifetime consequences. I suspect that 13 year old kids are more likely to do the bullying, too, because of lack of confidence.
Dd started learning to deal constructively with bullying at about 16. There are many adults who have never learned to deal with bullying.
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but I highly recommend seeing a physiotherapist, and getting a correct diagnosis. There is no point in trying this sport or that sport if you don't know what is wrong. Is it endurance, balance, posture, strength, or a combination of those things? Is it swimming or horseback riding or running that will help? A physiotherapist will also be able to give you the names of good coaches, and you can go and talk to them about your specific concerns. It seems to me that the social skills are tied in with the physical ones. There are loads of Olympic athletes whose parents put them in sports because they had physical problems, sometimes severe physical problems, and they ended up loving the sport. They also developed good social skills.
I had physical problems when I was a child, and my parents never took me to the doctor to understand why. It caused me decades of frustration. As an adult I did find out why, and the cure was very easy. Do you really want your son saying this same thing about you in 20 years?
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We are vegans and we eat what our hosts serve. That is the polite way of doing things. Meat means prosperity and generosity in some of the cultures we deal with, and to turn it down would be very improper. In Jamaican culture, meat is in EVERY dish.
If you have a medical problem and must eat a certain way, bring a dish to the party that you can eat.
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You personally can make so much difference in a neighborhood. We live in a rough area, and the neighbors look out for each other. I got them to wave to an elderly senile woman, and it makes her day. I look out for the elderly people. If they and the kids feel safe, everyone feels safe.
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apples
oranges
kiwis
bananas
avocado
tomatoes
red and orange peppers
collards
spinach
yams
blueberries
broccoli
mangoes
melon or pineapple
carrots
peas
eggplants
ackees
cilantro
whatever other fruit they happen to have
linseed
nuts
peanut butter
rice milk
soy milk
juice
oat crackers
ground coconut and flaked coconut
pounded yam flour
gram flour
oats
till
pawa
jaggery
honey
ginger tea
dry sorrel
odeiga
I also found two west African products- jansa and eguti, which I will try in recipes. I always like to try things from Africa or India or the Caribbean.
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Dh and I both got mild versions of chronic severe illnesses in our mid-50's because of the food we were eating. My brother gave us the book The China Study, about the largest nutritional study ever. We have cleaned up our act 100%. We have given up milk and dairy completely, and increased the amount of f and v we eat.
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And I don't mean research sponsored by the Dairy Council.
Get fair and impartial research on the subject. Dh and I have always taken good care of our health, but in our early 50's, we started having major health problems due to our diet and exercise. Discipline has to be more than 95% in terms of diet and exercise, because we were actually doing extremely well on that one. The doctors kept telling us we were doing fantastic for our age, but then BAM!
Just to warn you youngsters...
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We go through a couple kilograms per week of oats because I make muesli. Add ground nuts, coconut, sesame seeds, brown sugar, dried fruit. Serve it with milk, and bananas or whatever fruit you have sliced on top.
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My daughter trains under an Olympic coach, at an Olympic training facility, and she has never been able to get a scholarship or sponsorship. Companies are stretched to the limit in terms of sponsorship, and the scholarships go to the people who are well-connected in the sports field.
She has been training since she was quite young. She has changed sports twice. For the first few years, it was just fun, but then she chose a tough coach when she was 10. The training is cumulative. By the time these kids are in high school, they are GOOD! She trains six hours a day, then comes home and does strengthening exercises, mental training, training diary, ices her muscles, and goes to bed. If she is home in the afternoon, she sleeps. In other words, training takes up her entire day, and part of mine since I do the secretarial work, logistics and diet. Occasionally she is required to take a week off and just chill out. Sometimes she is required to do a half-schedule. Sports isn't something you enter into half-heartedly if you want a scholarship.
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My mother had me when she was 47, and she had two more kids after that. That was quite normal for Catholic women at the time. Women used to be proud of the fact that they had never had a period. There were quite a large number of birth defects, early deaths and mental illnesses though. It could have been due to the bad care at birth, or the fact that that entire generation was exposed to horrible levels of toxins during the war.
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I don't think I could live without jaggery goor or basmati. I love browsing the CD's at the charity shops. The hospital a block away has an auxiliary shop, and they often have some awesome CD's of 40's music and videos of classic 40's movies. I've picked up some prizes there. I call my mother and get excited about an old movie or music or clothes or shoes I found at this shop. She thinks it is hilarious since I spent my adolescence rebelling against 1940's stufrf.
We are converting some lofts right now. We'll be finished in a month or two, so we'll be moving again. I hope I'll have access to Indian food supplies. I'm sure there will be charity shops where we move.
Mental Toughness as it pertains to Running (and other exercise)
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Dd has been doing practicing mental training for years now with athletics, and it has really helped her.