ListmakerMel
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Posts posted by ListmakerMel
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I keep recommending the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie on these sorts of threads. The focus is not on helping the wallflower, but it does focus on being outward in our interactions with people.
Thanks, Jean! I appreciate your suggestion and will look for this this afternoon.
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It is a lovely thing when young women step out of their self absorbed worlds to attend to other children in social situations....but it sounds like you have quite a strong emotional load around it and maybe you could be more encouraging without feeling so expectatious that she will fulfill your desire?
Peela, thanks for your thoughts on this. Yes, I guess I do have strong emotions about this subject. I have explained my experiences to her and she does understand. I suppose I do force the issue a bit, but it's only because I know that at this age it is hard to not be self-absorbed and I want her to see past herself to the needs of others. I'm not asking her to be best friends with every single person she meets, just that she include them in conversations and make them feel like part of the group, rather than hanging out in a corner with her BF and ignoring everyone else. The whole point of these HS gatherings is to meet other kids and have fun. She can hang out with her BF one-on-one when they have sleep-overs or when they spend the day together.
....lots of prayer/guidance and applauding all the kindnesses they do for others..making a big point about the little things...and trying to model those things for them. Sometimes when I see something in my children I do not like, I have to ask myself first did I do something to counteract or am I like that in some ways? Do I get to busy to help others? Do I focus more on getting things done rather than focus on how I'm doing them?
Tara, yes, thanks, I do try to tell her thank you for the positive things she does do as often as possible, and it does make a huge difference. I think she does a lot of things around the house now more happily because of it. Kids do want to be noticed for their good behavior. Anyway, as for looking at myself and how I deal with certain issues, yes, I could do better in some areas. As far as this situation goes, I do try to say hello to as many people as possible at chuch and other social events, and I've gotten a whole lot better at introducing myself to people I'm sitting next to that I've never met before. When we moved to a new city 15 years ago and didn't know a soul here, I decided that I was the one who would have to make the difference. It was hard and quite intimidating at first, but it has been a huge blessing in the end. I guess I just want my DD to have the friendship-making skills that I felt I lacked in my childhood.
Thanks to everyone for your encouragement!
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Thanks KarenAnne, I know it's an age/maturity thing. I just wonder what more I can do to help her through this, which is why I'm also looking for book suggestions.
Stacy, yes, there will be opportunities this fall where they won't be together. She CAN be friendly when her BF isn't around, it's just when she IS around, is when the problem occurs. And I don't believe it's her BF that's keeping them isolated, I just think it's just a lack of them both caring about anyone else when they're together.
Still frustrated, but thankful you understand.
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I'm disappointed in my DD12. Although we talked about making sure she included the other girls in conversation at the last HS get-together, she and her 'best friend' basically ignored the other girls their age last night. These are girls they know and who attend other HS, church, and/or other activities, so it's not like they don't have anything to talk about.
Before we left I asked her to be sure she included everyone in whatever they were doing and she responded with the typical, "I KNOW, Mom," answer. I realize it may be typical 12yo behavior, but I take this personally.
I grew up in a military family and was always the new kid that no one ever wanted to bother to make friends with because they already had friends. Maybe I was a dweeb or something, but I always felt like a loner. Later in life I realized that no one ever helped me to BE a friend or how to reach out and MAKE friends. I don't want to make that mistake with my daughter. I don't want her to be the one who already has a friend and ignores everyone else. Someday she WILL find herself alone and if she's been somewhat exclusive in her friends, she may find that she's the one being ignored.
Are there any good books for her age group that address this situation? She's actually a very good kid, she just needs help seeing this friendship thing a little deeper. Maybe a book from a left-out kid's perspective? I don't know. I'm just really frustrated.
She and her BF did finally start talking to some of the other girls later in the evening, but only after I had a short, little, stern talk with her. I want her to be friendly without having to be told.
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Many children don't need to be taught how to use word processing, spreadsheets, etc, in the way that those of use who weren't cradle computer users. So it might be worth just seeing whether he figures it out by himself before you actually buy anything. To learn how computers work, are you talking programming or hardware? Kids who are into that sort of thing will enjoy pulling apart an old computer and examining the guts of it (to get maximum value from this exercise, if you don't know much about it, ask somebody who does to help him).
They know the basics, but there is so much those programs can do that even I don't know about. I'd like them to at least be aware of the capabilities word processing and spreadsheets have, even if they don't use them on a regular basis. I've never used PowerPoint, so that would be new to all of us.
I really don't know what I'm looking for as far as how computers work. I guess I just want them (and me) to get an overall understanding of the basics of the hardware and the programming to see what, if anything, interests them about it. At the very least, I'd like us all to be literate of the basic computer terminolgy.
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I sort of want two different things. One for learning Word, Excel, and Power Point, and another for learning the basics of how computers work. I don't necessarily want to teach programming, but something that will give my DS an idea of what it is to see if he's interested in that sort of thing. I saw Professor Teaches Word, Excel, and PowerPoint on Amazon for $9.99 which received good reviews, and was wondering if anyone here had used it or something similar. Thanks.
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Thanks, that helps! I think my confusion came from seeing literature as a separate subject from the writing, grammar, etc. I'll continue with my BJ lit textbooks and add EIW writing lessons as needed, but probably not every single day as I had planned earlier.
Now to think about electives...
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I am posting this here because I want to know if any of you have successfully used BJU for history from middle school on?
My youngest going into 7th grade does not like Lit based. She shutters at Sonlight and actually enjoys taking tests, fill in blanks, mapping etc..
We used Abeka for 6th grade and we could barely get thru it, in fact we did not.
I was thinking of starting her with Bob Jones 7th grade this year. Is it any better? Do kids do okay with textbook history? Is there anything wrong with it??? I looked at Notgrass, but it looks kinda boring. No pics or anything.
Or...I could "make her" do Sonlight and just cut the books WAY back...any suggestions?
I used Sonlight with my DD and DS who are two years apart up until two years ago. The first year after we stopped Sonlight I did my own thing for History and Science (just for DD, DS used Apologia) just picking and choosing from the many books we already owned and hadn't read yet. It was okay and they learned alot, but it was a ton of work on my part.
The next year (last year) my DS told me he wanted tests (?!) so I looked at textbook curriculum. I bought Abeka for my DD who was in 7th last year and Bob Jones for my DS who was in 9th (DS used Apologia again - did really well with it) so I could see the differences and what I'd like to go with in the future. Bob Jones won. I didn't use the teacher book and it was fine, but this year I did get the teacher books and I think it will be better.
I was so impressed with BJ history that I bought the literature books for next year as well. I did the same pick-and-choose for lit last year which was okay, but not great, so I'm extremely happy with my BJ choice. HTH
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DS will do BJ Fundamentals of Literature next year plus EIW The Elegant Essay and EIW Starting Points Worldview-Based Writing Lessons. Would this count for one English credit for the literature and one English credit for the essay writing? I realize that the two EIW writing courses probably won't take the whole year, but with the added writing he'll do for Lit and history it would probably come close. Is trying to give two English credits pushing it? Or should I give one for Literature and one half for writing? :confused:
My HS plan is to do one BJ Lit book each year plus various writing courses that would end up being two classes each day thoughout the year. If I cut back on the specific writing classes to take up only two to three days a week, would that be sufficient for a half credit? Thanks.
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DS did Pre-Algebra, Algebra 1 and Algebra 2 using the CDs for the lesson part and then the book to do the problems in his notebook. He would refer back to the TT book if needed while doing the problems, but it wasn't usually necessary.
DD did Math 6 and Math 7 on the CDs only, since she could answer right there on the computer. I don't think she ever used the book, and I never used the answer key. Once you get to Pre-Algebra though, you can't do the work on the computer, you have to write it out.
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Prices will be lower at a local sale than online, but you can peruse the boards here or at someplace like HomeschoolClassifieds.com (they tend to have higher prices) to get a starting idea. It depends a lot on what you have. If is a general how-to resource or teacher-store type book, you need to mark it pretty low (lower than half) to sell it. If it a specific curriculum that is popular, you can mark it higher (25% or a few dollars off of new price.) If you have a complete set of something, you can charge more than if you are missing the student book. It pays to look up the current editions of BJU or A Beka. If you can mark it "current edition," you will be able to sell it more easily and for more. An older edition of any curriculum will need to be sold for quite a bit less.
Like a pp said, it doesn't matter what you personally paid for it, it matters what the lowest new price at RR or Amazon is currently.
I am currently marking books for my local sale. For more expensive items, I am cutting the description and price out of last year's RR catalog to tape to the sticky note. Organizing your space (if you get your own table) by category is helpful. Take some plastic grocery bags and plenty of change! :001_smile:
Going by the lowest price at RR or Amazon makes more sense than going by what I actually paid for it. Thanks, I hadn't really thought about that.
Thanks also for the suggestion about bringing plastic bags, I hadn't thought about that either! I'll bring my copy of the latest RR catalog with me as a reference.
I appreciate everyone's help. It makes sense to ask for a bit more for items that are popular and in good condition and less for obscure stuff.
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Our HS group is having a used curriculum sale this week and I'm wondering what is the generally accepted cost of used books in very good or like new condition? I was thinking about asking for half of what I paid for them; does that sound reasonable? Thanks.
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Wild Cherry - Play that Funky Music White Boy
Redbone - Come and Get Your Love
Golden Earring - Radar Love and Twilight Zone (Two Hit Wonder?)
And I'm sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree with Night Ranger being a one-hit wonder band...they've had at least ten top-100 hits over the years. They'll be preforming at Walt Disney World at the Food and Wine Festival for three nights in October! :thumbup1: Okay, so they may not be a huge-hit band, but they can still rock!
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Thank you for all of the ideas! I went to the Kiki website and that looks promising; I'll stop at the bookstore here that carries it and take a look at it.
I had forgotten about Reader's Digest and National Geographic. I actually just received a special offer for a year of NG for $16.00 so that's ready to go off in the mail on Tuesday!
I do get several magazines for myself (also on special offers - if you respond to one, you get dozens more!) such as Better Homes and Gardens, Consumer Reports, Ladies Home Journal, Sunset, and Bead Style. She likes to look through those, but I think she'd like something to call her own. She loves ballet, so maybe I can find something appropriate along those lines.
Has anyone read Susie, the magazine that was supposed to sort of replace Brio?
BTW, I don't ask many questions because I can usually do a search and find what I'm looking for, so I've never needed to post until now. Thanks again!
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My DD is just turning 13 and loves to read. She has recently shown an interest in the magazines available at the checkout counters, and needless to say, most (all?) of the 'teen' selections are not what I consider appropriate for her.
I think she likes the idea of being stylish and wearing makeup, and I don't have a problem with that as long as it's modest. We talked about the articles about the celebrities and why it's a waste of time to read about them and she gets that idea.
She did say that although she liked the one magazine-style book I bought her, she doesn't really want to have every article be about faith and God. I can respect that and agree that there is a time for each sort of reading. I just don't want it to be 'fluff' that she's reading.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
How do I get DD12 to be more friendly? (Long)
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Thanks again Jean. I spent some time on Amazon this morning looking at this book and some others. Dale Carnegie also has a book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls." I read through the first few pages and it looks like a good fit for my DD. From reading the reviews, the original one seems more geared for business relationships rather than regular friendships, even though I'm sure you could use the information for both. The book for Teen Girls does talk about boyfriends and making intelligent decisions, so it may not be a good choice for girls who aren't ready for that sort of discussion. Although we don't encourage the 'boys are cute' talk, we realize that it's a fact of life now and it's probably time to talk more about making those intelligent decisions. Just wanted to say thanks for the suggestion and how it's helped me find something I think will help her.