[We may have found land. Or maybe I’ll cry.]

Coming out of hibernation to root for you on this. We lost a piece of land here a few years ago with a neighbor and a last minute right of first refusal that wasn’t communicated until we were in the middle of the contract process. I’m glad your situation is happening earlier in the deal than ours did and praying the phone call works out. I know how long and hard you’ve been trying with finding property and sincerely hope this dream comes true for your family.

[Nm - found out they are in process of adoption]

I think grief is minimized enough that someone using an obit space to acknowledge a life and loss of another member of the family than just the deceased adult is far from the worst thing to normalize.

[I'm trying to understand vitamin A--making sure I'm not getting too much]

You’re fine if it from food sources. I regularly get that amount on a VLC whole food diet with a hard push for leafy greens. Where you need to get concerned is synthetic versions, which regularly top out significantly above that amount and are not metabolized the same way by the body, to boot. Vitamin A toxicity from plants is almost unheard of.

[warning about duckduckgo]

Add me to the pile who has used DDG for years and never had issues. We run it on multiple computers and devices. My spouse prefers Brave, but not because of content issues with DDG:

[Ignore this thread!]

Just wanted to swing in and drop a quick happy note - new baby Max Theodore was born on Wednesday and has needed a little NICU time with CPAP for wet lungs and such, but is doing very well. He’s totally adorable and I can’t wait to spring him from the hospital and be done with labor and delivery forever 🥰 He was 7 lbs 13 oz at 36 weeks (biiiig baby, 94th percentile) and 20.25 inches long. It was a little PTSD inducing during the delivery but not too terrible, actually, even being back in the same NICU and hospital.

I know many of you were wondering and hoping with me on this, and wanted to give the update. - Bagels/AM 🙂

[Updated! Can you help me decide if I'm being unreasonable? (warning: young person passing away)]

15 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

As a person who lost a child, I cannot imagine making that kind of ask. That’s not ok.

Exactly.

[Updated! Can you help me decide if I'm being unreasonable? (warning: young person passing away)]

Oh gosh, I can imagine how horrible that is. But if your sister is having a hard time, she needs to disinvite herself, not ask that your daughter not come. That’s how I’ve been handling triggering events like showers and birthdays. My grief is my responsibility, nobody else’s. And that’s exactly what I’d say to your sister - she can make her choices, but your daughter is coming because she is family. And those sorts of hurts just have to be navigated, it’s one of the many crappy parts of grieving.

[Anyone want to go on and on about their home building experience?]

8 hours ago, Katy said:

You should be aware the price of construction lumber has gone way up. The price of a 2x4 has quadrupled in the past year in my area. 
 

It may be best to plan on staying put until the pandemic is over. 

Steel studs are an excellent option. Our house had them put in way back mid century, and the systems are fast to install and economical now. Slightly higher material cost than lumber used to be, but now very competitive and durable. Much easier to get a true wall surface and square corners, too.

[JAWM: BIG WHINE AHEAD Stressed Out in Re: return to school/hybrid]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

He doesn’t have a compelling reason based on facts, which is part of what I’m mad about. He just thinks all this isolation is bad for ds; of course, I agree this is not ideal, nor is it what I *wish for*, but nobody is getting ideal right now. Even if ds goes for hybrid, it’s still absolutely worthless in terms of social interaction. He can’t sit with friends, can’t eat with anybody, won’t even see most teachers in person. 

So. That’s his issue. He thinks it will ruin ds socially to be “locked up at home”. Additionally, we were having this furious conversation via text, because I was at work. That is a pretty terrible medium for discussing fraught subjects and now I have the miserable circumstance of having to re-open the worm can when I get home. It sucks.

Oh brother, I’d be mad too. That’s the worst non-reason.

[Dh and I are considering moving to a more rural area--land/acreage.]

1 hour ago, popmom said:

hmmmm... my dh keeps telling me he can do it himself. Any resources you can recommend? Books, blogs, etc.

He’d still want an architect or electrical engineer to help him with a sun study, that way he can figure out the yearly exposures and angles to best maximize panel placement. It’s not hard, per se, but the math can be a bit complicated, especially if there are rises and hills in the way, but only for part of the year. The actual battery racks and DC converters and such are the easy part, IMO.

[facebook is FULL of people posting get togethers, group meals, group selfies]

17 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

Because you want to release as few aerosols and droplets as possible, basically. I understand it’s a trade-off, but I personally wouldn’t chat with someone inside a store. Distanced while outside, masked — probably, but I’d need more like 10 feet.

I’m sorry, but this is bordering on absurd. And letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. If you’re making people mask. And stay home. And stand far apart. But we still won’t allow verbal communication and will look down our noses at those who actually try for any?  The problem is ceasing to be the virus.

Aaaaand this is reminding me why I stopped posting here. SMH.

[This should make your blood boil . . .]

I can’t even. There are not enough curse words or lawsuits.

[Boy/girl names]

As the owner of a gender neutral first and middle name, I have to say it sucks. Don’t do that to your kids, it is years of annoyance 😠

[SAHM worries]

On 12/17/2020 at 4:56 PM, MoyaPechal said:

We do have life insurance, but I'd still need to somehow find a job with zero full-time work experience.

Not necessarily - I didn’t graduate college and have been out of the workforce for years. We pulled enough insurance coverage that the house could be paid off, taxes and utilities and food and childcare all factored in too, for a minimum of six years. Really, if there are any other income streams, that could last a decade.

Those costs and the time it would take me to go back to school and still parent were how we decided what level of coverage to carry 🙂

[Depression]

16 hours ago, Ditto said:

Holy Crap! Today I learned you can buy otc low dose lithium!  I had NO idea.  *mind blown*

I would caution that lithium orotate/elemental lithium isn’t effective in the same way prescription lithium is. Some people find it can help, but a solid St John’s Wort is often more effective for mood boosting, for me and others.

[Personal covid experiences]

On 11/16/2020 at 7:34 PM, MissLemon said:

 

Yep! It's just a waiting game now. I expect that by this time next year, most adults in the US will have been offered the vaccine.  I don't know exactly where the trials are at for kids, though. I think Pfizer has a trial going for kids 12-16 right now, but I'm not sure.  

I have questions about how we get undocumented people vaccinated, too.  We can't simply shrug and act like it's not our problem.   

Generally speaking, the health department would handle this. We had a very high number of illegal immigrants in the area I used to live in and that was standard, no questions asked and no risk of deportation. Vaccination services through the county health board were the go to and free if one couldn’t pay.

[Pregnancy during Homeschool]

I homeschool hard during pregnancy on any day I can and don’t have appointments, because I’d rather keep break times postpartum when I need them. So we work at having as full a schedule as possible on the days I’m home and doing okay. I will take breaks as needed throughout the day, but I find cramming hard in the morning so I can have a nice afternoon nap is way more helpful.

Even postpartum I don’t do a lot of school during the afternoon baby nap, I save that so I can sleep. But I will put the most teacher intensive subjects during the baby’s morning nap, and make a lot of use of infant swings and carriers to get stuff done. Still, daily consistency with at least core subjects is a MUST, no matter how crappy I feel. Unless I’m genuinely sick, I can’t just take off during pregnancy or postpartum because I’m tired, or NOTHING would ever get done. I’ve been pregnant or nursing almost constantly for a decade and a half, it’s suck-it-up-buttercup for the most part. There’s just too many other kids and needs, so I triage. Vomit breaks? Cool. Having them set on an independent subject or three while I drive to an appointment? Cool. Making a significant school block so I can collapse later and making hubby do the cleaning or any food that isn’t microwaved or cold? Also cool.

But homeschool is the ONE thing I prioritize, everything else can slide unless I’m bedbound (and then I couch school if I’m at all able). I guiltlessly take off a few weeks postpartum, but the kids do best with a consistent school core each day.

[How do I get on the politics board?]

Huh, that’s interesting, Laura. In the US generally the falalalalala had the broad a/short o sound for every syllable, like fall and doll.

[How do I get on the politics board?]

12 minutes ago, Laura Corin said:

This is the issue.  Your 'paw', or my MIL's Lau (in Laura) sounds like my A in cat.  We think we are talking about the same vowels, but we can't hear our own accents.

I twitch whenever I hear a broad a on Nevada. It’s short like cat and tab, not broad like ball and fawn.  But I hear a lot of the East and south making it broad for some reason. Regionally though, the southwest and west coast does it short in general.

[Crazy long line at the voting house at 6AM!!!]

Not too bad here, maybe 30-45 minute wait and steady. It was more congested when it opened and people were trying to get in before work.

[Have you ever had jealousy to the point]

Literally nothing is harder than having your children suffer and die and being helpless to do anything but stand there and try to weather it. Full stop. Nobody that has experienced personal illness and suffering and had a significantly injured or lost child would argue this. 

[Reclaiming the number 3]

Yes, it’s not worth worrying about. Anyone can make anything suck, but that is really not common enough that I think most middle aged women on a message board or in the context of, say, a hugs and prayers encouragement thread on Facebook, are going to not understand the meaning.

I don’t do anything but say *hugs*, but I still think it’s much adieu about nothing. And I’m sure someone has opinions on privilege because of that, but who cares what some internet busybody thinks of you?

[Have you ever had jealousy to the point]

Yes. And to deal with it I had to make a very, very concerted effort to change my mental dialogue toward gratitude. Like, physically replacing those thoughts with ones that promoted contentment or reflection on my own circumstances, and positive solutions for how to change my own position and answer my needs instead of just looking at someone else’s life in a coveting or jealous way. It was very difficult at first, but it did improve. Addressing some of my sleep and grief issues was also necessary, as those contributed to the state of mind where I was fixated and jealous of some others.

Lots of prayer and repenting, too. 

[Sean Connery has died]

7 minutes ago, Patty Joanna said:

The Wind and the Lion.  

Fare thee well, Mr. Connery.  

This is our favorite of his movies too.

[Future plans for "COVID" homeschoolers: continue homeschool or return to public/afterschool when you both work?]

1 hour ago, EKS said:

Homeschooling never makes financial sense.  People who are successful with homeschooling long term are those for whom it is a passion or a necessity (or both).  They sacrifice in the financial realm in order to reap homeschooling's benefits.  

If you are interested in afterschooling, I found that a reasonable way to do it is to focus on content--so, read alouds, which kids find fun--and piggyback skills onto homework assigned by the school.  

Bingo.