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Sports and politics - a rant and some questions

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I am so frustrated. Baseball used to be fun. Then, ds11 started making the tournament and Fed ball teams. Now it's too much stress. Ds used to play and come home in a good mood. Now, he comes home crying. I want to cry for him.


My ds has the best on base percentage on the team. He has the second highest batting average on the team. He has the lowest ERA on the team. He's made no errors this year. He's a good player! WHY does the coach sit him on the bench three innings? Why does the coach's son get to play instead? (His batting average is 0!!)


Now what's happened is my ds feels like he has to play really well to get to play all six inning and he puts all this pressure on himself. His play is starting to be effected. I just want it to be fun again. It's awful that I sit and watch and inside I'm rooting against his own teammates!!!


How do I help my ds? How do I keep from being too emotionally involved? I want to strangle the coach! Should my dh say something to him?

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Wow, this is a big issue you've brought up. The coaches son thing is a real problem that we never found an effective way to get around no matter the effort and time my son's dad put in to the program. I'd like to say the situation improved when my son reached high school, but it did not.


To give you an example, my son is on a high school JV team. Statistically he is their best player; however, he was not the player moved up to varsity when the time came. In fact some of the weakest players were moved up for political reasons. This demoralized my son, effected his attitude both on and off the field, and the coaches wondered why he had a chip on his shoulder.


There are something to consider about the bench sitting that may take the sting out of the issue for your son. If he looks at the major league clubs there are players that sit, particularly pitchers. At your son's level, being sat maybe an issue of another parent complaining that their child is not getting enough play time , so who to sub out~ your son. Another thing we've learned is to look at how the coaching is being done. Are the coaches developing players year after year? Does the league have a plan?


One of the ways we've dealt with this issue is to have my son play fallball, and play during the summer with another league.


As for having your DH say something, yes! My son's father has repeatedly talked with coaches an how their actions and attitude directly effect a kids performance.Most importantly, my DH reminds the coaches of the kind of message they are sending to these young players. All too often the message sent is that hard work does not pay off and it is more a matter of who you are than your ability to play ball.

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Thank you so much for responding! I'm so sorry to hear that your son has a problem with politics in sports too. I'm also sad to hear that it probably won't get any better.


Thank you for your feedback about talking with the coach. I'll share this information with my husband. I don't know if the coach doesn't understand how demoralizing it is for my son or what. But, my ds is certainly not playing as well as he could be just because he's now SO nervous!


Yes - I think that the league does have a plan and it doesn't include my ds, unfortunately. We live in an area where the parents mostly grew up together. We moved here 8 years ago. We're the new kids on the block and we didn't go to high school with coach so-and-so. My ds was an unknown. My dh doesn't have the money to donate to get ds on these teams (we've seen that happen a lot!). But, his statistics put him on these teams.


Luckily, ds has other sports, so if he decides that he doesn't want to deal with the politics any more, he can do other things. And, we were thinking about a wood bat league for the fall. The kids would love it!


:grouphug::grouphug: to you and your ds.


I also have a 13 yo son on this team. He's been benched as well, but he's laid back about it. My dh finally asked the coach to watch my 13 yo pitch. He did and was VERY surprised!! (Can you imagine - we're a month into the season and he'd never watched my ds pitch?! And, that was his best position!) He put him in a game and he pitched the last two innings - 12 pitches total!! Only one hit. Ha! So, why was he benched for today's game?????


I think I'm going to get an ulcer before the year is over!!! Thanks for listening and understanding.

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We have dealt with the exact same types of things in DS10's baseball experiences, during regular season and then the All-Star seasons.


We went into this spring season saying that we would not do all-stars, that we wanted to focus on other things for DS.

Finally, this last week to be exact, when it was annouced that DS had made the All-Stars (which would have been the fourth summer for him), after much discussion over the weekend, we did turn down All-Stars.


It was scary. You wonder if you are passing up a "golden" opportunity for DS. You wonder what you will miss. You wonder if you are hampering his abilities. But we knew it was the right thing in the end.


I think it was a huge relief for DS, as well as ourselves. We are looking forward to a summer that does not involve high-stress competition all over the state, along with nightly practices and the over-bearing coaches.


Sometimes, ya just gotta walk away.

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We also deal with politics in our baseball league. We are not from here, and it seems everyone else is related or went to school together.


Fortunately, this year we have a coach who bases decisions on skill level. He is great.


Next year, my son will be old enough to play with the homeschool league, so we will switch and play with them.

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