Opinions on Facebook for a young teen?

[PineFarmMom]

My almost-14-yo dd has requested to get a facebook account. She has out-of-town friends from where we used to live that she still keeps in contact with, and she wants to use a facebook page to do so.

 

We have said no to myspace because we just have heard too many bad situations. I know anything that is regulated by the parents can probably be an okay thing, but I just have that thing in my gut that says no on doing a myspace page. Is there much of a difference in myspace and facebook or are they equally dangerous? Dh's initial response is just no, that he sees nothing positive in it, but he told me to research it and see what I think. I thought I'd come here. Part of me just wants to say no to this also, but we do limit a lot for her and I want to research this first before I nix it completely.

 

Is it one that only certain people can go to her page? Is it possible to ensure who goes in and out, as a parent?

[Renee in NC]

People cannot see her page without being confirmed as a friend.

[SherryTX]

I think FB is a lot easier to manage - from a parent and user standpoint - than MySpace is. Also - you will find (at least I think so) that there are a lot of parents on FB with their kids than MySpace. It is just easier to deal with - it is not as ugly to look at, and although there are a few morons on it - it is no where near as nasty as MySpace can be.

 

I let my 13 year old have a FB, but not MySpace. (She is my stepdaughter - lives with us - her mom was adamant about no MySpace, but she agreed with us that FB was not as big of a deal.)

 

FB does still have chat though.

Overall, I think FB is a lot more - how do I say this - not as "skanky" as MySpace can be.

 

How about telling your daughter she can have a trial run - but she has to make sure she connects with you and your husband as a friend so you can see what is going on with her profile, and also you can at least see the list of names of people she is friends with?

[TeacherZee]

You can set the FB settings so that no one can even search out your daughter. Also you can set it so that no one can see her profile without being friends with her.

 

I would have to agree that FB is a lot less "skanky" than MySpace. I think that if you tell her that you will be monitoring her account and that you have to approve any friend requests you should be very safe.

 

I love FB because it is an easier way to keep in touch with friends and family in other parts of the world.

[Lolly]

I have allowed FB but not Myspace. I would advise setting up your own account first and learning how it works. I am friends on FB with my kids so that I can monitor what is going on with their pages. You can set her controls to the level of security you want her to have. No, it is not a perfect system; but it isn't that bad either.

[MamaT]

We allow FB, but monitor closely. Actually, 23yo big brother watches it like a hawk.:001_smile:

 

Now that my 21yo son is engaged, his fiance also monitors my teen's FB page!

 

We still monitor, but those two help.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Facebook is a lot easier to manage AND it's a lot more fun. We were latecomers to it, but have really enjoyed it lately. My page is open for anyone to see, but I set it that way. You can set it for it to be private until friend-ed.

[Valerie in MI]

My two, 13, and 12, have Facebook accounts. I'm a friend of both so can see all that is posted. It's very private. I think it's a wonderful way to stay in touch with friends. Valerie

[Erin's Mom]

My space was not even an option for our 16yr daughter but we are letting her have a FB for the main reason we can monitor because we are on her friend list and see everything she does. We also make sure we know who is requesting to become a friend of hers. To tell the truth she even likes it this way. She says sometimes we know to much about what is going on with her but that it makes her feel safer and she knows how much we care about her future.

 

HTH

[Frontier Mom]

I let my 14 get an account and would never allow MySpace. I agree, never let your teens have one unless you do so you can monitor things. It is a better place to be on the web, though I am not sure how redeeming it is versus reading. LOL.

 

Legally, one cannot get a Facebook account until they are 13. My second ds is 13 today and, you guessed it, he is setting up a Facebook. I know he has friends on there that have fudged their birthdate, but rules are rules. Besides, he might run for president one day and he won't need the bad publicity. LOL.

 

It is suppose to be a more mature social network than MySpace and I think it remains that way for the most part. So much depends upon whom your child invites as a friend.

 

BTW, there is a WTM group there as well you can join.

[Danestress]

I have facebook. I can't figure out why anyone really wants it though. It doesn't help me keep in touch with people any more than just shooting an email. It's very impersonal and there are these really annoying "applications" on it. Open an account for yourself and check it out.

 

You can't really control what her friend's post. If your friends post profanity or nonsense, it will show up on your page.

 

I think FB seems pretty safe - you control who sees your page. But I also think it's an annoying waste of time and that when people use it, they seem to anser personal emails less, and then you actually have less *real* contact with those friends.