Matryoshka Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 One of my dds is really spacy. She is not at all hyperactive - she's actually quite a mellow child - and she has no trouble parsing and understaning material in a group or classroom setting. But to a teacher, it looks like she's out to lunch. She's staring at the ceiling, out the window, fiddling with something. A teacher she had told me she was a "wonder of nature" because she'd be sure she wasn't paying any attention, but when she called on her, she always knew what was going on. She's in a chorus, and the director has complained she's never looking at her (more than the other kids). In a perfomance, I've seen her stop singing and just look around for a while, then start up again. If she's concentrating on something (including her own thoughts) it's hard to get her back to the "real world". When you ask her where she's gone, she says she's "thinking". I haven't really been worried about it, since she's doing fine academically and has no trouble focusing on her schoolwork. But a couple of comments from teachers in group settings are making me realize that this spaciness can color people's perceptions of her - a friend told me that the director (different person) of a play she's in asked her if my dd was on meds or something. :eek: Should I continue not to worry? Will she outgrow this? Should I get her evaluated - and if so, for what?? I did buy her something at Whole Foods for "Daydreaming" - it's just a homeopathic Bach flower remedy - figured it couldn't hurt. My dd found the box and complained that she liked daydreaming and didn't want to take it. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Her spaciness if affecting her socially if not academically. As you say, it's affecting adult's perceptions of her. How is her social life? Does she have a lot of friends? (If her spaciness makes her stand out in some way, then it's probably affecting her social life. ) ADHD in girls often manifests as spaciness. You also include a line about hyperfocus (hard to get her back to the real world). Is she messy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matryoshka Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 Yes, she's messy. But it's not like I'm setting a good example there. In fact, as an adult I've often wondered if I have ADD (the one without the H) - no one ever said anything to me as a child, as I did very well in school (a year ahead, always made great grades), and was quiet and well behaved, but I also struggle with keeping the house in order (although there's organization underneath, the surfaces are cluttered), and I can hyperfocus. She has lots of friends, but I'm not sure if that would be true if she didn't have a twin sister who is very socially adept. I think she relies on her sister to make the friends, and just comes along for the ride. In classes or situations where she hasn't had her sister, she's never made a friend to the point of being invited over or having it continue past the class, but that hasn't really stood out because she's got so many friends in the bulk of her life (homeschooling) where her sister is always around. She's also quite popular with the kids her younger sister's age (2 1/2 yrs younger). But if she did have the spacy ADD - what is there to be done about it? I don't want to medicate a child just so she appears more with it? She's quite bright, and while she gives this appearance of spaciness, she's not at all an airhead, in fact, she's quite the deep thinker. She also has poor eyesight - it's corrected fairly well with glasses, and she's been through vision therapy, but I also wonder if she finds it a bit too easy to unfocus her eyes and use her ears for input - she takes things in very well auditorially. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 (edited) This is exactly how my son with ADD was in school. He has ADHD, but your dd may just have ADD. ds9 has a hard time focusing unless the material is EXTREMELY engaging. For example: he will often get to the middle of his math page and stop to just stare out the window and chew his pencil. If he is working and something distracts him, he immediately turns his attention from what he is doing and engages with the distraction. It is absolutely the most irritating thing to deal with/watch! As a side note, my son is still very smart. He never made below an A in public school and was at the top of his class in academics (won lots of awards at the end of the year in public school). When he was about 7, he sat in his room for 2 hours and put together a double sided 1000 piece puzzle (Star Wars) with pieces about the size of a dime. When he was finished, he tore it up and spent another hour REBUILDING it from the other side perspective! His focus can be totally intense as long as he is interested in what he is doing. Ds9's basketball coach made the same remark about thinking ds was not listening to her and then, when she called on him to repeat what she said, he just nailed it...word for word. But his brain can do that. He will watch TV, listen to music, and play ds at the same time and still listen to me, know what is happening in the game, know what is going on in the show, and rarely miss the words to the music. It is mindblowing to watch sometimes. Edited May 7, 2009 by Tree House Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 She sounds quite ADDish (no H). If you aren't interested in medicating, there may not be a need for a diagnosis, although you might read this thread and consider it: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=98883 She might benefit from some OT. For example, motor planning can help with organization. You would need an OT that gets the mental/physical connection and not all of them do. Otherwise, you can just do some reading on ADD and learn how to work with her. At some point, she may choose to medicate. We've talked about it with my son. His focus in groups appears terrible and I'm not sure an employer will put up with it. I leave it up to him though, because we are all content with how things are working now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 a perfomance, I've seen her stop singing and just look around for a while, then start up again. If she's concentrating on something (including her own thoughts) it's hard to get her back to the "real world". When you ask her where she's gone, she says she's "thinking". On the opposite side...this describes my dh to a T. He is very quiet, very introverted. Sometimes, people meet him and think he doesn't like them just because of how quiet and to himself he is. He is difficult to talk to on the phone becuase he thinks for a LONG TIME before he responds to a simple question. He is very...slow. However, mentally, my dh is anything but slow. He is just a very thoughtful, inverted person. He will think for 10 minutes to say a sentence sometimes because he wants to make sure the sentence is going to come out right. Drives me bonkers sometimes...and I even had a woman when we bought our house in GA that asked me if dh was on medicine. LOL That is actually what made me think of him in regard to this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristineMM Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 In looking at options, FYI spaciness is also a symptom of food allergies or insensitivities and also candida yeast infection. I am not diagnosing but tossing this into the mix for you to consider. Also if she has an auditory processing disorder and tunes out of listening at choir, she would appear space out, per a book I read on kids with LDs. Then again maybe she is just bored. My DS used to space out a lot (not causing problems per se but it just was not typical for him) when he was having food reactions. After foods were eliminated it disappeared instantly and he was back to his old self. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Yes, she's messy. But it's not like I'm setting a good example there. In fact, as an adult I've often wondered if I have ADD (the one without the H) - no one ever said anything to me as a child, as I did very well in school (a year ahead, always made great grades), and was quiet and well behaved, but I also struggle with keeping the house in order (although there's organization underneath, the surfaces are cluttered), and I can hyperfocus. She has lots of friends, but I'm not sure if that would be true if she didn't have a twin sister who is very socially adept. I think she relies on her sister to make the friends, and just comes along for the ride. In classes or situations where she hasn't had her sister, she's never made a friend to the point of being invited over or having it continue past the class, but that hasn't really stood out because she's got so many friends in the bulk of her life (homeschooling) where her sister is always around. She's also quite popular with the kids her younger sister's age (2 1/2 yrs younger). But if she did have the spacy ADD - what is there to be done about it? I don't want to medicate a child just so she appears more with it? She's quite bright, and while she gives this appearance of spaciness, she's not at all an airhead, in fact, she's quite the deep thinker. She also has poor eyesight - it's corrected fairly well with glasses, and she's been through vision therapy, but I also wonder if she finds it a bit too easy to unfocus her eyes and use her ears for input - she takes things in very well auditorially. Check out the book, Women with ADD. You might find a lot that's helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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