Really need some outside perspective here regarding ds' reckless friend...

[Catwoman]

I would have had a few choice words for ax-boy's father. And after that, I would have taken ds home. I would not have let that go without a very pointed discussion.

 

No way would my ds be part of that troop any more. I would make it clear that either ax-boy and his dad were out of there, or we would be.

 

Cat

 

PS. If you're concerned (and I sure would be,) go to wherever ds is staying and say there's a family emergency and he has to go home with you immediately. Then, make it a really fun, special, (and safe!) weekend for your ds at home.

[scrappyhappymama]

Remember The Breakfast Club- how the jock was in detention for bullying another boy, but did it to impress his "manly-man" father? That's what this situation reminds me of!

 

That child is bullying other kids and being egged on by his father. If they were willing to do this in front of you, I'd be concerned about what they'd be willing to do when you're not around. And this is from the group leadership. :001_huh:

 

I know your son doesn't want to leave his friends in the troop, but there would come a point when I as a parent would have to step in anyway. Surely there have to be other troops around with leaders who have higher standards of appropriate behavior. Who knows- if you jump ship to a new troop, maybe some of your sons friends would follow?

[Brilliant]

Yikes! You mean your son is on another trip this weekend? After you saw ax-boy launch a bungee cord at his head? I assume this was one of those with a metal hooks on the end - if so, it could have done serious damage. Once again, this is a case where ax-boy is intentionally (or at least recklessly) putting another kid at risk. I agree with Catwoman. Go get him now.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

When I dropped off ds at the church where everyone meets to drive to the camporee together, we were the first to arrive. The Assist. Scoutmaster (ax-boy's dad) arrive and park way down from us and sit in their car. That was pretty awkward to begin with. Then when the Scoutmaster arrived, he greeted ds and everyone started to load up. They were all standing around the truckbed when ax-boy launches a bungy cord thing toward ds's head! Ds ducks and says "nice shot." Ax boy smirks and his dad (assist. scoutmaster) says, "Well he said to watch out!"

 

I am livid!!! Ds came over later and said quietly that he hoped he wouldn't lose his temper this weekend. He was pretty cool about the whole thing but I feel sick. I wish this weekend were already over.

 

If your son is at the point where he's not sure if he can hold his temper in check, then it is certainly time for a break with this pack. Your ds should ask the scoutmaster to sign his handbook with everything he gets done at camp and he should move on. Your son should feel free to ask any of his friends in the troop if they want to visit other troops with him.

 

Yes, they are probably going to talk trash about your son and your family when you leave. So what? I don't think that you are going to be able to change the troop from within as long as they are willing to tolerate a scout who is taunting other people and a parent/ASM who encourages it.

[Julpost]

Yikes! You mean your son is on another trip this weekend? After you saw ax-boy launch a bungee cord at his head? I assume this was one of those with a metal hooks on the end - if so, it could have done serious damage. Once again, this is a case where ax-boy is intentionally (or at least recklessly) putting another kid at risk. I agree with Catwoman. Go get him now.

 

I KNOW....what's wrong w/me? I felt ok about it because the Scoutmaster promised to watch everyone very, very closely (I trust him) and because hatchet-boy isn't there. Ax-boy is the one who chased the moth on the tree w/his hatchet and accidentally cut another boy who got his hand in the way. Hatchet-boy is the one who put his hatchet an inch or two above ds's neck. I'm thinking of calling the Scoutmaster on his cell phone just to check that I interpreted the bungee cord incident correctly. I was a distance away and maybe missed something. I doubt it. Dh thinks we'll just let ds finish the camporee and see ask him how it went on Sunday. I don't know.

[Catwoman]

Ok, I keep getting ax boy and hatchet boy mixed up. I was thinking that hatchet boy would be there this weekend, which was why I've been in such a panic.

 

But... if it were me, I'd still go get him. I can tell by your post that you want to bring him home. If you don't, will you be a nervous wreck all weekend?

 

If it were just a daytime excursion, I might say to wait it out, but this is a whole weekend -- and that gives ax boy way too much time to find a way to start trouble with your ds. Your son has to sleep sometime, and this kid was already looking for trouble -- even with you right there to see it.

 

Also, the other boys may be less likely to stand up to ax boy on your ds's behalf, because ax boy's dad is there (and seems to think this whole thing is pretty funny.)

 

I'm not saying that this kid is trying to kill your son. I'm saying that he exhibits poor judgment, and he could get caught up in the moment and do your son real harm.

 

If your dh were there, I might feel a bit differently, but he's not, and you're not there, either. Sunday is a long way off, and your ds is spending the days and nights with a kid who seems to like to scare or hurt people, and whose father thinks it's all a big joke. I'm worried about your son, and I don't even know him.

 

I hope I'm completely overreacting, but if it were my ds, I wouldn't be willing to take a chance with his safety. It's only a scouting trip; if you go get your son, he might be a little upset, but he'll forget about it in no time. Just be sure you say there's some sort of emergency so your ds won't be embarrassed about your picking him up.

 

Please let us know what you decide to do.

 

:grouphug:

 

Cat

Edited May 8, 2009 by Catwoman

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Ah, I thought the ax cutting and hatchet threatening scout were the same too.

 

I have mixed thoughts on this. You (plural, yourself, dh and son) decided he could go on this campout. I'm not sure what it communicates if you pull him out in the middle. I especially don't think that making something up (ie, being untruthful) in order to justify going and getting him is a good precident.

 

I'll pray that he has a great and safe weekend. And that issues in the troop smooth out or that you find another great one.

[Tammyla]

There are 2 boys waving around those things...ugh...ugh... I always pictured scouts as a well trained, safety first group.

 

I KNOW....what's wrong w/me? I felt ok about it because the Scoutmaster promised to watch everyone very, very closely (I trust him) and because hatchet-boy isn't there. Ax-boy is the one who chased the moth on the tree w/his hatchet and accidentally cut another boy who got his hand in the way. Hatchet-boy is the one who put his hatchet an inch or two above ds's neck. I'm thinking of calling the Scoutmaster on his cell phone just to check that I interpreted the bungee cord incident correctly. I was a distance away and maybe missed something. I doubt it. Dh thinks we'll just let ds finish the camporee and see ask him how it went on Sunday. I don't know.

[Catwoman]

Ah, I thought the ax cutting and hatchet threatening scout were the same too.

 

I'm glad I wasn't the only one. I just hadn't gotten it through my head that there could be two ax-wielding boys in the same troop...

 

I especially don't think that making something up (ie, being untruthful) in order to justify going and getting him is a good precident.

 

 

Honestly, under normal circumstances, neither do I, but I recommended it because I couldn't think of any other way for a mom to remove her son from a trip without embarrassing him terribly.

 

I hope everything is going well on the trip. I am somewhat relieved that ax boy and hatchet boy are two different kids, because being a little careless is significantly different than holding a deadly weapon to someone's neck.

 

I never asked this, but I'm wondering -- was ax boy remorseful when he injured the other boy's hand? If so, hopefully he learned a lesson, but if not, and he and his dad laughed it off as an accident, I'd stay far, far away from them.

 

Cat

[ChemMommy]

Axes are ONLY used in the roped-off wood chopping area. Only ONE scout is allowed into the roped-off area. Each scout MUST earn their "Tote'n Chip" or something like that BEFORE they use an ax. The "chip" certifies that they have received training in proper axe/knife usage and will abide by the rules.

 

In our troop, both the boy swinging the axe and the boy who got stitches would lose their chip and would have to wait a year before taking training again and earning the privilege to use an axe.

 

The situation was reckless and, yes, accidents happen quickly, but where was the leadership! Were there enough TRAINED adult leaders?

 

I'd be in the leadership of that troop so fast that the scout master would be stunned. If you have a troubled scout, the scout master could assign one adult to directly supervise that ONE child--and NOT the child's parent (they tend to be too lax in their supervision, IMHO)

 

I hate to bash scout masters, but so many rules were broken here that I'm shocked. Scouting is a great program, but it sounds like you or your dh will be attending ALL scouting trips and meetings in the future. I'd worry about this kid with impulse control even at innocuous activities like scout meetings.

 

I'm sorry that you had this experience in your troop, but changes can and should be made that will prevent this kind of thing.

[Catwoman]

Julpost -- How was your son's trip? Since you didn't post anything new, I assumed that all is well. I hope the kids all got along well this weekend.

 

Cat