Frustrated with HS community enabling itself to lower standards...

[Rivka]

ETA: Irrelevant to the discussion , but I quite like the tag "zombie thread." I wish we had a zombie smilie.

 

Is there a procedure for getting a smiley added? Because I think that this one would really raise the tone of board discourse.

[Barb_]

I shudder when I hear about a kid who has fallen behind in math or something due to life circumstances because the mom has been unable to school. In public school there is no such time off. Sometimes homeschooling is not the best option for a child in terms of consistency.

 

Just as I shudder when an entire class of children winds up with a terrible math teacher 2-3 years in a row. A child who is privately taught can make up ground and quickly, but a great math teacher isn't going to get an entire class ready for Algebra in a year. Those kids are forever lost.

 

When I taught public my only experience with a homeschooled child was when I got a 4th grade boy in my Language Arts class and he started a paragraph with "Uncaponatim" (once upon a time):001_huh:

 

Not a good example. Kids usually head to public school when homeschooling isn't working. Those families deserve respect for acknowledging that and making a difficult and often demoralizing decision.

 

Barb

[4wildberrys]

Ouch. Queen bees abound.

 

I did sign in yesterday to post, but I realized that I wasn't nearly as proficient at typing from my iPad as I would like. I never made it over to the laptop.

 

Anyway, I suppose I don't need to defend myself, or even explain my current status, but I do lurk on this board often, and I still miss homeschooling and have so much respect for those who pursue it.

 

The first time I quit homeschooling was in the course a big move, and I chose to send my kids to PS. It went well. Their second year found my middle son in an unsafe environment with an awful teacher. My husband and I chose to bring them all home for the rest of the year. We did, and during this time I wrote my post. I knew several other homeschooling moms at the time, both online and IRL that had lost their motivation and their children were "behind" where they probably should be academically.

 

We had a great time during that spell of being home again. We pushed hard, and they learned so much. I was employed, and my job duties and policies changed. It became a choice of work or homeschool, and I loved my job. My husband preferred that if the kids could have a good PS experience, that they remain there. We re-enrolled them the next year. They're doing great! We continue to take it one year at a time, but we're pleased with their progress and continue to set high standards for each of them.

 

Anyway...

 

It *is* an old thread. Whether I still homeschool or not is hardly the question. You do. Teach your children. Push them to work hard. Have fun with them, and be nice. Just like you'd like them to be. :)

 

I love my job too!! My Homeschooling Mother job, that pays $0 a month/annual salary----but hopefully the rewards further down the road will be better ;) We too have high academic standards, but really our moral and character standards are much higher. Additionally, lowering those academic standards for a while is what enabled our daughter to really soar academically. Coming out of public school, she thought she was 'dumb and stupid'. And this was only in 3rd grade. It sounds like your brief homeschooling experience didn't really expose you to enough of us to really understand the MANY and VARIED reasons why so many of us homeschool----in addition to the many and varied learning styles of children and the fact that some of us DO really need to lower those standards for a while to allow our damaged childrens' wings a time to heal ;) One size does not fit all----and there is much, much more to life than simply academic excellence in all subjects at all times.

[4wildberrys]

I have to agree that I shudder when I hear about a kid who has fallen behind in math or something due to life circumstances because the mom has been unable to school. In public school there is no such time off. Sometimes homeschooling is not the best option for a child in terms of consistency. It is not okay to just fall behind all the time. A lot of time and dedication is required to do this job and do it well in my opinion. I have noticed that I have seen A LOT of homeschool written work and I think to myself, "Wow, that kid needs handwriting BAD." When I taught public my only experience with a homeschooled child was when I got a 4th grade boy in my Language Arts class and he started a paragraph with "Uncaponatim" (once upon a time):001_huh:

 

 

Really?! Because I think that I have seen MUCH more of this bad handwriting, lack of ability in writing amongst 'other' schooled kids than homeschoolers. Across the board. And I don't think I am alone in this either. Always nice to have a homeschool 'teacher' willing to support the Fallen Behind Homeschooler stories with horror stories of those few, isolated incidents of kids who are 'behind' for whatever reason----but that reason is automatically 'assumed' to be Mom Let The Kids Get Behind Because They Homeschool :glare:

[Pamela H in Texas]

I just scanned through the first many pages (thankfully I have my number of posts per page set fairly high!). I mostly looked at what *I* said or what people said in direct relation to what I said. And then I read the new posts.

 

I completely and totally stand by everything I said before.

 

My last park day was a year and a half ago and though there was a lot of nice chat about various materials (including many Classical Homeschoolers would use), there was also a lot of talk about life getting in the way, a mom who refuses to do more than 15 minutes per day per kid, and children being multiple years behind despite no known issue (honestly, issue should either be known and addressed; or if there isn't an issue, they shouldn't be 12 and on a 2nd grade level!). And not ONE single mom I spoke to at that time was doing anywhere close to what I was doing with my friend's son (pretty much by THE book - WTM).

 

I am HOPING that by the time I can start homeschooling any new littles, there will be at least a few conscientious homeschoolers around. Any style is completely fine! I have done differently with a few kids now (from unschooling to school at home) and will do what I believe is best with my new ones. But I'd like to find some who follow through regardless.

Edited June 10, 2011 by 2J5M9K

[EthiopianFood]

a mom who refuses to do more than 15 minutes per day per kid,

 

:001_huh::001_huh::001_huh: How many kids does she have?? What does she even do in those 15 minutes??

[amy g.]

I have to comment on that handwriting comment. I really try not to judge other people after this happened to me.

 

We had just moved here, and Miss Good was a young teen writing a note to a neighbor who happens to have been a public school teacher for 30+ years.

 

My heart stopped when I saw it. It was the worst scrawl you have ever seen.

 

It turns out that she didn't want to be late for volunteering with special needs kids, and Miss Bossy was throwing a legendary fit, so she held her sister with her right hand, and wrote the note with her left hand, and made it to the horse barn to volunteer on time.

 

What struck me was that the same note that screams homeschooling failure from the outside became a symbol for me about everything I've done right.

 

The neighbor never mentioned the note, although she must have been horrified. Now she calls me and asks, "Were your ears burning last night? I was bragging about you to my teacher friends."

[amo_mea_filiis.]

:001_huh::001_huh::001_huh: How many kids does she have?? What does she even do in those 15 minutes??

 

That's what I'm thinking! I got my kids to each give me 15 good minutes of math, and they each only got a couple pages done! I couldn't imagine even 15 minutes per subject.

[Pamela H in Texas]

What does she even do in those 15 minutes??

 

Considering the discipline, I doubt much. Which makes sense. If you teach your kids that they aren't important enough for your time and to be taught, how much are they going to give you, even for 15minutes? And your 9yr old just can't learn all of 4th grade in 15minutes per day, but she certainly can't do the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grades you've let her fall behind also!

[....]

I am HOPING that by the time I can start homeschooling any new littles, there will be at least a few conscientious homeschoolers around. Any style is completely fine! I have done differently with a few kids now (from unschooling to school at home) and will do what I believe is best with my new ones. But I'd like to find some who follow through regardless.

 

You should come over and see what WE do for school. :eek:

 

:lol:

[Jenny in GA]

I have noticed that I have seen A LOT of homeschool written work and I think to myself, "Wow, that kid needs handwriting BAD." When I taught public my only experience with a homeschooled child was when I got a 4th grade boy in my Language Arts class and he started a paragraph with "Uncaponatim" (once upon a time):001_huh:

 

You might enjoy this blog post -- just something light, doesn't prove anything, not trying to make a statement ...

 

In 1996 or so, before I had children and when homeschooling was more rare, I spoke with a sixth grade teacher who had a always-homeschooled girl enter her class a couple months into the school year. The teacher was lamenting that the parent had said "she was weak in math" and so they gave her an oral test to get a feel for where she was at.

 

They asked her what 8 times 5 was, and she stared at them and said, "I don't know what you mean ... what is 'times'?" (This was not an ESOL student).

 

There were some other details I can't remember now. I think the teacher said she was about at a second grade level. But she was put in the sixth grade class, with other eleven year olds.

 

I asked how the other kids treated her. The teacher said that at first they were all very friendly, but as they got to know her, they started shying away from her because she "seemed stupid" (not sure if the kids actually used that term.)

 

Anyway, that all seemed sad to me. It still does. I do not know if the girl was put into Special Ed classes or not, and of course I have no idea what happened to her later -- or why they stopped homeschooling in the first place.

[mommymilkies]

I have to agree that I shudder when I hear about a kid who has fallen behind in math or something due to life circumstances because the mom has been unable to school. In public school there is no such time off. Sometimes homeschooling is not the best option for a child in terms of consistency. It is not okay to just fall behind all the time. A lot of time and dedication is required to do this job and do it well in my opinion. I have noticed that I have seen A LOT of homeschool written work and I think to myself, "Wow, that kid needs handwriting BAD." When I taught public my only experience with a homeschooled child was when I got a 4th grade boy in my Language Arts class and he started a paragraph with "Uncaponatim" (once upon a time):001_huh:

I disagree with this. I graduated with Honors unable to do division. And I was far advanced compared to most of my peers. Falling behind happens all of the time in public school.

[chiguirre]

Anyway, that all seemed sad to me. It still does. I do not know if the girl was put into Special Ed classes or not, and of course I have no idea what happened to her later -- or why they stopped homeschooling in the first place.

 

Just to put this in context, many times when a sn student returns to ps, they will not be given an IEP immediately. You have to request testing and the ps has several months to actually perform it. In the meantime your 11 yo sn student will be thrown to the wolves in regular ed, and sometimes the classroom teacher won't even know that concerns have been raised.

[HRAAB]

I have to agree that I shudder when I hear about a kid who has fallen behind in math or something due to life circumstances because the mom has been unable to school. In public school there is no such time off. Sometimes homeschooling is not the best option for a child in terms of consistency. It is not okay to just fall behind all the time. A lot of time and dedication is required to do this job and do it well in my opinion. I have noticed that I have seen A LOT of homeschool written work and I think to myself, "Wow, that kid needs handwriting BAD." When I taught public my only experience with a homeschooled child was when I got a 4th grade boy in my Language Arts class and he started a paragraph with "Uncaponatim" (once upon a time):001_huh:

 

This description fits my nephew quite well except for the fact that he has been in public school his entire life. It also reminds me of the 8th grade girl my friend was asked to tutor to get her up to speed for high school. Her reading, writing and math skills were around 3rd/4th grade. Yes, public school again. My sil is principal of a small private school, and they have started running a summer school to get the incoming public school kids up to grade level. Unfortunately, I also know a homeschooling family that could fit this description.

 

We can all sit around pointing fingers, but the only direct control I have is over my own children. I accept full responsibility for their education and so I keep my eyes on them and try to keep them off other families. Occasionally something is so glaring - such as a mother spending 15 min. a day per child on schooling - that you have to sit up and take notice. Otherwise, the best thing I can do is ensure my children are getting a good education.

 

Oh... the worst handwriting I've ever seen is in my dh's family. You should try to read the birthday cards you get from them. It has had absolutely no bearing on their education. In our family the joke is the worse the handwriting, the more successful you will be.

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

We can all sit around pointing fingers, but the only direct control I have is over my own children. I accept full responsibility for their education and so I keep my eyes on them and try to keep them off other families.

 

:hurray::hurray::hurray:

[EthiopianFood]

Considering the discipline, I doubt much. Which makes sense. If you teach your kids that they aren't important enough for your time and to be taught, how much are they going to give you, even for 15minutes? And your 9yr old just can't learn all of 4th grade in 15minutes per day, but she certainly can't do the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grades you've let her fall behind also!

 

I'm wondering if she heard the belief that working too long just makes kids tune out, and is a sign that they aren't developmentally ready for more, so when she sees her kids glaze over after 15 minutes, she says that's "all they need developmentally." That, and some sort of b*st*rdized CM approach?

[Plucky]

I was reminded of this thread this morning when my ds complained that his little sister was sitting in the car instead of doing her chores or schoolwork. I told him that she was cleaning out the car, and that he had enough on his plate just worrying about himself. LOL

[G5052]

One of the reasons I homeschool is that I'm not terribly interested in what everyone else is doing -- how woefully underprepared Suzy Homeschool's kids are, how inarticulate Peggy Publicschool's kids are, etc.

 

Really. Not. Interested.

 

I'm concerned about the progress of two young adults. Hey, look at that. They both live here.

 

 

I've come to the same conclusion.

 

Because I teach local homeschool classes and at the local community college, I see the whole range of homeschooling. Not that classroom performance is everything, but I see the spectrum from the exhausted kids who mostly work for the family business to the exclusion of their studies at home to the products of parents who could probably teach the classes better than I do (why are they paying for them?). In the end, I have very little influence over the parents' choices. Maybe I can get in a suggestion here or there, but that's it. If the parent doesn't have them doing any math or reading any novels this year, I have to let it slide.

 

Now my own, that's another matter. There I'm very picky, and that's my job. I'm already wrestling with choices for 2012-2013 because these things are not light, seat-of-the-pants decisions. They're hard, very hard.